Chapter 8: I have nowhere to go except by your side 1
I returned to my room in the castle, and then huddled in a corner of the room, trying to calm myself down and stop thinking about Wen Jinliang. But the more I forced myself to calm down and told myself not to think about it, the more I kept thinking about Wen Jinliang and I. Wen Jinliang's gentle face kept lingering in front of me.
Xingguang came back at night, and this time he didn't bring me any medicine. He walked into my room, looked at me sitting in the corner with my knees hugged, and said as usual: "Xiaoqi, dinner is ready."
I didn't react to Xingguang's words. He looked at me in silence for a while, and finally realized that something was wrong with me, but he didn't ask why. He just said calmly, "Xiao Qi, the food won't taste good if it's cold."
I looked up at Xingguang, then silently got up and went downstairs with him to eat.
Xingguang and I had dinner face to face in silence, neither of us spoke. Although we usually didn't talk during meals, the atmosphere was even more chill today.
Xingguang on the opposite side looked calm, but I thought he must have known that I secretly left last night.
After dinner, when Xingguang was tidying up the dishes and preparing to leave, I called out to him, "Xingguang, I'm not sick at all. Everything you said before was a lie, right?"
Xingguang's back swayed for a moment. He didn't look back at me, but said to me in a very gentle tone: "Xiao Qi, have you forgotten? Your master hates love so much. If she knew that you learned to love, she would destroy you. How could I watch my friend go to the end of her life and not save her?"
My body was shaking a little because I knew that what Xingguang said was true. So he would rather make up a ridiculous lie to trick me away from Wen Jinliang than tell me the truth.
Xingguang must be thinking that as long as I slowly distance myself from Wen Jinliang, my love for him will fade away one day, and at that time I can become the Xiaoqi who knew nothing at the beginning.
"What about the medicine you gave me?" I asked unwillingly.
"It's just an ordinary potion for strengthening the body."
"So that's how it is..." No wonder it didn't work, it seems like it wasn't my illusion.
Love is indeed an incurable disease.
"I'm sorry, Xiaoqi, I really don't want to deceive you in this way. But other than this, I can't think of any better words to convince you. I don't want to see you get hurt again. It would be fine if the person you loved was someone else, but it had to be him..." Xingguang was clearly in front of me, but his voice seemed as far away from me as a galaxy, as if he would disappear in front of me at any time.
After hearing Xingguang's apology, I completely softened and could no longer blame him. In fact, I also knew very well that Xingguang's actions were only for my own good, even though I could not accept his actions.
Looking at the stars, I was about to tell him that I didn't blame him, just that he shouldn't lie to me again. But as soon as I opened my mouth, I thought of something strange in his words.
He said he didn't want to see me get hurt, but this was the first time I learned to love someone, and my master had never hurt me before, so how could it be "again"? And "it had to be him", was this "he" referring to Wen Jinliang? Was there anything wrong with Wen Jinliang?
I gave up what I had planned and was about to ask Xingguang with doubt, but he suddenly disappeared in front of me without any warning - he left so quickly that I didn't even have time to call him.
I was stunned for a moment, but soon I realized that there was only one possibility for Xingguang to leave without warning, that is, Xiaowu was about to show up. Because Xingguang was hiding from Xiaowu very well.
"Xingguang, long time no see. This time I'm going to have a good fight with you!" The door was kicked open rudely, and Xiaowu walked in with a smile.
Xiao Wu and I looked at each other, and the atmosphere was a little awkward for a moment. I coughed and said, "You are a step too late. Xingguang has already left."
"Tsk, he escaped again." Xiao Wu said dissatisfiedly, then strode towards me.
She sat down at the dining table in front of me, holding her chin and looking at me, and said a lot of words in a crackling voice: "Forget it, I will catch him next time anyway. Although I just came here to try my luck, I didn't expect that he really hid you here. Xiaoqi, don't you use your brain when you do things? You ran away without saying a word in the morning, and Wen Jinliang was scared by you. He kept asking me if he did something wrong. It's so annoying! And if he didn't have the information I wanted, I wouldn't come to you so late at night. Although I can guess why you left Wen Jinliang, you can't keep hiding from him like this, right? Have you thought clearly about the future?"
After Xiaowu finished speaking for a long time, she picked up the coffee on the table and drank it all. She frowned and complained, "It's so bitter, it must be made by Xingguang. This guy likes to drink these bitter things." She looked up at me and said, "Don't stare at me in a daze. I've said so much, don't you want to say something?"
I sat back in the chair and looked directly at Xiaowu's familiar face: "Xiaowu, I'm sorry about what happened this morning. I shouldn't have lost my temper with you."
Xiao Wu rolled his eyes at me, still with the familiar bright smile on his face: "I didn't say so much just to hear what you said, stupid Xiao Qi! I don't know your temper well, but I know you didn't mean it this morning and you're not angry. Besides, if I was really angry, do you think Wen Jinliang could stop me?"
Hearing Xiaowu say this, my guilty feeling eased a little. Now that I have calmed down, I really find it hard to believe that I lost my temper with Xiaowu this morning.
"Xiao Qi, about Wen Jinliang's matter..." Xiao Wu wanted to continue.
"Xiao Wu, please don't ask anything now, okay? Let me think about it carefully!" I quickly interrupted Xiao Wu's questions and looked at her pleadingly.
I know I can't escape now, but I really can't face Wen Jinliang calmly for a while. No matter how I feel about him, or how he feels about me.
"I understand." When Xiaowu heard what I said, she stood up and prepared to leave. She walked a few steps towards the gate and looked back at me, "Xiaoqi, I can fool you temporarily now. But I can't fool you forever. You should think about some things yourself. I'll come to you later." After that, she quickly left the castle.
As soon as Xiaowu left, I collapsed in my seat.
Xiaowu is right. There are some things I should think about carefully. What the future holds for Wen Jinliang and I will ultimately depend on me.
I sat downstairs for a whole week, and Xingguang didn't come back during that time. It seemed that he was scared by Xiaowu and didn't want to come back for the time being. If Xiaowu hadn't gotten tired of waiting and came to find me, I would probably have stayed there.
Xiao Wu stared at me in amazement and asked in disbelief, "You didn't move after I left? Did you not eat?"
"Hmm..." I replied weakly. My originally confused mind started to clear up because of Xiaowu's visit.
This week, I did nothing but kept thinking and thinking... In the end, although I understood a lot of things, I still couldn't make up my mind.
Xiao Wu turned around and went to the kitchen without saying anything, and then quickly brought me a bunch of food. She placed the food on the table in front of me and said, "Although we won't die if we don't eat or drink, without food, your body functions will soon fall into a dormant state. You can't fall into a long sleep now, Wen Jinliang is still waiting for you to return to him."
As soon as I heard the words "Wen Jinliang", my paralyzed thoughts suddenly came to life. I straightened up suddenly, and I felt that my body was so stiff that it didn't belong to me. My stomach was roaring desperately, and I finally felt hungry.
"Your stomach is growling so loudly! Eat quickly." Xiaowu urged me when he saw that I didn't move.
I picked up my chopsticks and ate all the food in front of me. After eating and drinking, I finally felt alive again, and my stiff body and sluggish mind were completely restored.
When Xiaowu saw that I had finished eating, she immediately pulled me up and walked upstairs. She asked me, "Which room is the one Xingguang arranged for you?"
"The last one on the left," I answered quickly, probably guessing what she was going to do.
Xiaowu immediately took me to the door of the room according to my instructions, then kicked the door open and pulled me in. After entering the room, she opened my closet and found two clothes for me, and pushed me into the bathroom: "Go and give me a shower, it smells so bad! I'll tell you what's going on after you're done."
I said "Oh", picked up the clothes she threw into the bathroom, put them in a dry place, and then took a comfortable hot bath.
I have to say, not cleaning for a week is really terrible.
When I came out of the shower, I saw Xiaowu sitting on the bed, reading with relish a book that I hadn't finished reading before.
"Have you finished washing?" Noticing me, Xiaowu put down the book in his hand, patted the seat next to him and said to me, "Come and sit down."
I wiped my hair and obediently walked over to sit next to her. She took the towel from my hand and wiped my wet hair for me. Her expression suddenly became gentle: "Remember, I used to help you wipe your hair like this? At that time, you and Xiaoliu loved to pester me to help you wipe your hair, like a little devil."
When I heard Xiaoliu's name, my heart felt like it was hit hard by something, and my eyes immediately turned red. I thought I would never hear Xiaowu say this name again in my life, because she is the eternal pain in Xiaowu and me.
"But after Xiaoliu left, I never helped you wipe your hair again, and you no longer acted like a spoiled child to me." Xiaowu wiped your hair with a slight tremor, as if he was trying hard to suppress the surging emotions in his heart.
"Xiao Wu, don't say anymore..." I grabbed Xiao Wu's hand as she was wiping my hair, and looking at her calm face, tears suddenly burst out.
"Silly girl, why are you crying?" Xiaowu sighed and wiped the tears from my face gently with his fingertips. "On the day Xiaoliu died, you cried like this too. Xiaosan and Xiaosi didn't say anything, they were also crying. But what's the use of crying? So I didn't cry. I just stared at that woman, staring at her intently. At that moment I finally understood that to her, we were nothing, not even a cat or a dog."
Xiaowu suddenly laughed and asked me, "Xiaoqi, among so many sisters, I like you and Xiaoliu the most. Do you know why?"
"Why?" I stared at Xiaowu and shook my head blankly. Because I really didn't know why she loved Xiaoliu and me so much. She obviously had so many sisters to like, but she only liked to be with us.
"Because you are different from them. The other sisters never think and only listen to that woman blindly. There is no light in their eyes. But you and Xiaoliu are different. On the day you were born, I saw a different light in your eyes. At that moment, I knew that you are the same as me. You are a thinking, living, truly living being, not a crappy copy created by that woman. At that moment, I felt that if I had you by my side, I would not feel sad even in such a hell." Xiaowu seemed to be trapped in distant memories, and the corners of her lips were filled with a gentle and comfortable smile.
I listened to Xiaowu's words and slowly stopped crying. I was shocked and moved by her words. I never knew that she thought of Xiaoliu and me in this way. In her mind, nothing should be more important than Xiaoliu and me!
"Xiao Qi, I have already lost Xiao Liu, I cannot lose you again. So I should have stopped you from falling in love with Wen Jinliang, because this love would drive you both to death. But..." Xiao Wu said, pausing for a moment, her expression complicated and solemn, "I can't stop either of you at all, because your love is so beautiful and firm. Wen Jinliang is really a very good person. He is worthy of your love with all your heart. So don't deny your love for Wen Jinliang because of your concerns about that woman, and don't deceive yourself that you don't like him at all because of fear."
"But Xiaowu, I can't have love. The master hates love the most. Once I have love, it means I'm betraying the master. Then things will get very bad." I said trembling all over. In fact, this is what makes me most panic and uneasy.
Xiaowu held my shoulders, looked at me without blinking and said, "Xiaoqi, I am actually very grateful to Wen Jinliang. In just a few months, he turned you into a little girl who can laugh, make trouble, get angry, and get jealous, just like all the ordinary girls in the world. At this moment, you are no longer a copy, but a complete person. Have you forgotten? I once asked you who was more important, that woman or Wen Jinliang, and you didn't answer. The moment you understood love, you had already betrayed that woman. Since you have already betrayed, why should you be afraid? Why bother to think too much? Why can't you listen to your inner desires?"
I stared at Xiao Wu in a daze, my mind suddenly exploded. Had I made my choice from the beginning? Perhaps I should have known this long ago...
"Xiao Qi, even though you don't realize it yourself, you look so happy being with Wen Jinliang. Compared to being with me or that woman, being with Wen Jinliang is your best bet. Only by being with him can you truly become an ordinary woman." Xiao Wu continued to counsel me after seeing the hesitation on my face.
"But the master, she won't let me fall in love..." I bit my lips tightly, my heart filled with unspeakable worry, "I'm not worried about myself. Xiaowu, I'm not afraid of death, but I'm afraid that Wen Jinliang will be angered by the master, and if he gets hurt or dies because of this..." Xiaowu's words were so beautiful, but I also had my worries and helplessness.
"Xiao Qi, this is the real reason why you have been avoiding me. It's not that you don't love Wen Jinliang, it's because you love him that you don't want him to face any danger." Xiao Wu breathed a sigh of relief, her tone somewhat relieved. But when she saw that I was still hesitant, she suddenly grabbed my collar and said, "Xiao Qi, if you really don't want to face this relationship and feel that you can't make a choice, then well, I will kill Wen Jinliang now. As long as he dies, all problems will be solved. You don't have to be afraid and embarrassed anymore, and you and I can go back to our previous lives."
I was shocked by Xiaowu's words. My heart was pounding and I couldn't breathe. I immediately grabbed Xiaowu's shoulders, unable to hide the fear on my face: "No! No! Xiaowu, you can't kill Wen Jinliang, he didn't do anything wrong!"
Xiao Wu loosened my collar and poked my chest with her fingers: "Xiao Qi, ask your own heart. When I said I wanted to kill Wen Jinliang, did you stop me because you were afraid that you could not complete the master's order, or because you were afraid of his death?"
I let go of Xiaowu, my body couldn't stop shaking, and the tears that had finally stopped burst out again.
"I should have understood it a long time ago..." I choked up, and finally revealed my true feelings in front of Xiao Wu, "I like Wen Jinliang so much, even if the price is to betray my master and abandon my master... I don't want to leave his side."
At this moment, I don't want to hide anything anymore, nor do I want to escape anymore. I like Wen Jinliang, I like him to death. That kind of feeling is deeper than my feeling for Little Black Bear, and it is even more difficult to let go.
But I also know my master very well. If I really get together with Wen Jinliang, she will definitely do something to stop us. Now I am no match for my master and the others.
Xiao Wu sensed my fear. She hugged me tightly and said firmly, "Xiao Qi, don't be afraid! I will never let Xiao Liu's tragedy happen to you again!" She smiled coldly and said, "I have made a lot of preparations over the years. You don't need to worry too much about some things. As long as I am here, you and Wen Jinliang will be fine!"
I know that even if Xiaowu and I join forces, we have no chance of winning against the master and his men, but Xiaowu's words still make me feel more at ease. Although I don't know if she said this to comfort me or if she really has the determination and capital to resist the master.
Seeing that I had calmed down, Xiaowu let me go and continued, "Since you have made up your mind now, let's..." Before she finished her words, the phone in her pocket rang.
Xiaowu took out her cell phone, said "Hello" twice and started chatting with the person on the other end. Xiaowu's cell phone was a specially processed hacker phone, so I couldn't hear what the other end said. After talking for a while, Xiaowu's relaxed expression suddenly became serious. She replied, "I'll take her back right away," and then hung up the phone.
"Xiao Qi..." Xiao Wu put away his phone and looked at me, saying to me with a bad face, "Something happened to Wen Jinliang..."
"Ah?" I didn't react for a moment and just stared at Xiaowu blankly.
"He was attacked by a killer. Both he and Yu Xiaogui were seriously injured. Maybe..." Xiao Wu didn't say anything else, but just looked at me cautiously.
I just felt like something in my heart broke. I looked at Xiaowu in disbelief and didn't react for a while.
Xiaowu grabbed my arm and pulled me out of bed: "Let's go! Let's go back!"
I stared at Xiao Wu in a daze, and suddenly I pushed her away like crazy and ran out desperately. Xiao Wu shouted behind me: "Xiao Qi, why are you running! Do you know which hospital Wen Jinliang is in? Come back!"
When I heard Xiaowu's shout, I immediately stopped and turned to look at her: "Take me there! Take me there quickly!" I shouted at her almost crying.
Xiaowu took my hand and led me out of the castle without looking back. She rode on the motorcycle that was originally parked at the door, looked at me and said, "What are you standing there for? Get in the car. It's such a long way, are you planning to run back?"
