Chapter 8 Chapter 8 New Year's Eve

When Chen Zhi was ten years old, he left his mother forever.

Feng Ran never asked about his mother. He believed that Shen Zhi would not be willing to answer, just like he always remained silent when facing questions about his father.

Some things cannot be solved by questions and answers.

Shen Zhi walked in front and he followed behind.

Winter nights come early, and his eyesight is not very good at this time. He hurriedly followed Shen Zhi and simply cleaned up, without seeing the name and photo on the tombstone clearly.

Shen Zhi put some flowers, got up and left, very quickly. Feng Ran asked: "Are you leaving?"

"Well, let's go, it's getting late."

Feng Ran didn't understand what was going on.

After getting in the car, Chen Zhi whispered, "It's so cold."

"It's really cold, just go home."

"You don't ask me anything."

"Well... why did you come here suddenly?"

"I dreamed of her yesterday. I've been falling asleep in the studio lately, and she might have found out. After waking up, I was the only one at home, and I suddenly missed her."

Feng Ran stretched out his hand to turn Chen Zhi's face over, and his eyes moved under his thick eyelashes, reflecting the moonlight, snow, and neon lights, flowing into his heart.

"You take care of yourself, don't think too much."

"I won't. After she left, no one cared about me or said they liked me. You are the first."

"I will take good care of you, so you have to be well too."

"You think we won't last long. Maybe before long, you will get tired of me."

The gentle thorn pierced into Feng Ran's heart without warning.

"No, I... yes, I used to be such a person, but we have more than just this kind of relationship."

"You mean stepbrother?" I don't know if it's an illusion, but Chen Zhi tonight is more aggressive than usual, "Does that count? After we really break up, can you still treat me as your brother? Your sister knows about our affairs..."

"I understand what you mean, Chen Zhi," Feng Ran lowered his eyes, "I won't deliberately hide our relationship anymore. But not in front of the elders at home, this is the bottom line."

Chen Zhi's tone softened: "Okay. I can do anything, I can buy you whatever you want. I don't have much money now, but I will have it in the future... I just, I just want to be justified."

"Don't be like this, don't be like this." He sighed and hugged Chen Zhi, "It's my fault, I made you feel wronged."

Liquid flowed in from his collar, cold, soaking him. He hugged him tighter, stroking his hair again and again, with mixed feelings.

Why didn't he meet Chen Zhi earlier?

It would be the most correct thing to give all the passion, time and love he spent on others to Chen Zhi.

He was purer then, and perhaps he would cherish a person more than now.

Perhaps, he was really wrong, he shouldn't have fallen in love at first sight, nor should he have let go of the pursuit, such a him was destined to hurt others. He felt sorry for Shen Zhi from the beginning.

On the night of New Year's Eve, Feng Ran and Ren He had a phone call.

Ren He saw his background and said, "Good boy, this leather sofa doesn't look like something you can afford, right?"

"I'm at Shen Zhi's house." Feng Ran said generously.

Chen Zhi leaned out of the kitchen: "Calling me?"

"I'm calling Ren He. Do you want to come see him?"

Chen Zhi was a little embarrassed and said, "Okay, then should I take a shower and change clothes?"

"It's okay, no need." Feng Ran walked towards him with a mobile phone, "Ren He, stop twisting your body. Can you sit up straight?"

"I can't straighten myself up if I'm bent over. Are you crazy? Are you trying to teach me a lesson?" Ren He pointed his finger at the camera and grinned. The camera turned, and the same face instantly became well-behaved and beautiful, and the vocal cords also changed. "Chen Zhi? Hello, hello! Damn, you're so good-looking, so handsome, how come you like this idiot Feng Ran?"

Feng Ran's face turned green: "It's New Year's Day, can't you say a few nice words?"

Chen Zhi showed his signature smile and said, "Hello Ren He, you have lanterns hanging there too?"

"Huh? Really, I didn't notice it when I came. You're worthy of being an artist. You're really sharp."

"You're blind," Feng Ran said from the side.

"Get out of my way."

Chen Zhi said again: "Or, you guys chat first, I'll go cook?"

Ren He smiled sweetly: "Okay, okay, bye Chen Zhi~"

Feng Ran took his phone upstairs, put on a coat, took out a cigarette on the rooftop, bit it in his mouth, and said vaguely: "Ren He, why are you being so mean to him."

There was no one around, and Ren He collapsed on the sofa again as if he had a muscle weakness, and said weakly: "It's a bit strange."

"Huh?"

"You said Chen Zhi, why do you like you?"

"I'm not saying you fucking... Am I so rubbish in your heart? Am I not worthy?"

"No, no, no, rubbish doesn't mean no one likes you. Whether you are rubbish or not, it's doubtful; the point is, it's him and you, from beginning to end, don't you think it's very strange? He has never liked a man before, but he accepts you very quickly, and he doesn't want you to hide it from Qingqing, as if... there is no problem coming out in the next second."

"...How do you know so much? Feng Qing told you?"

"That's not important."

"I don't think there is any problem with what you said, just come up with something convincing."

"Would you commit to a lifetime relationship with someone you just started dating and who is your relative? What kind of love would that be?"

"What if we love each other like that?"

"You didn't love each other like that, neither did you nor him." Ren He said impatiently, "I'll hang up if you keep quibbling."

Feng Ran wanted to say what right he had to doubt him and Shen Zhi. He didn't think highly of them at first because of him, but now the problem has become Shen Zhi.

But he couldn't say it. Thinking about it carefully, he couldn't refute any of the points raised by Ren He.

In addition, Ren He had accurately predicted the collapse of his five relationships.

Feng Ran didn't have much hope for this relationship, but...

In the night, on his left wrist, the brand new dial was shining, and the metal strap was attached to his wrist, as cold as water.

His fingertips hurt, and the cigarette had burned to the end at some point. He pressed it against the marble wall to put it out, and Ren He turned the knob to play their band's new song, a lonely blues.

He hummed softly along with the music, and his fingers plucked the guitar strings, making a unique friction sound, which made him look lonely. Feng Ran said, "How about."

"Uh-huh."

"How about, give us a chance."

"You think I'm Cupid?" Ren He laughed, "Just because I say yes is okay? Shouldn't I be the first to enjoy such a good thing?"

"No, what I mean is," Feng Ran looked at the kitchen window closed from the inside, and the glass was covered with mist, "don't curse me this time, brother."

After saying this, Feng Ran immediately picked up the phone and turned down the volume. Ren He's cursing turned into a long string of meaningless notes, dissipating in the sound of firecrackers in the distance.

While they were chatting, Shen Zhi prepared three dishes and a soup, and made more than twenty dumplings. They were stuffed with cabbage and pork, which Feng Ran liked.

Shen Zhi hadn't celebrated the New Year with anyone for a long time. For a long time, he hated this day of national celebration. Others were having fun, which made him feel even more lonely. During his adolescence, he was sensitive and suspicious. When he was alone in this house, he was not allowed to mention words such as home, mother, and New Year's Eve dinner. If relatives or anyone else showed a trace of pity, he would be ruthlessly driven away.

So later he was left alone. He got used to it when he grew up.

He served the dishes to the table, and Feng Ran trotted down from the second floor, shouting, "It's freezing outside. Is there any dumpling soup?" He was wearing pajamas and a thin shirt, and he was very cold. The smell of tobacco was not obvious. It seemed that he had stayed outside to cool off, but it didn't get out completely.

Chen Zhi put down his chopsticks and hugged him from behind. Their skins pressed tightly against each other through a layer of cotton cloth. Heat was transmitted to Feng Ran's limbs. Chen Zhi closed his eyes beside his ear and said, "You are wearing so little, of course it is cold."

Chen Zhi was very clingy today.

During the meal, Chen Zhi did not move his chopsticks, but looked at him with a smile, and after the meal, he did not allow him to clean up. He sat on the sofa, turned on the boring Spring Festival Gala, and continued to stick his eyes to him, watching him frown and complain. Soft and affectionate, Feng Ran's head swelled.

He went to the kitchen to take a breath under the pretext of drinking water. His phone buzzed and vibrated. Feng Qing sent a New Year's greeting message.

He transferred a red envelope and replied "Happy New Year".

Feng Qing sent another picture. The dishes on the round table were no less than the Manchu Han banquet, and they were almost all eaten. More than a dozen pairs of chopsticks were scattered on it. You can imagine how lively it was after the photo.

"Why don't you come?" she asked.

"It's noisy and troublesome." Although she said so, in fact, Shen Zhi didn't want to go. Feng Ran didn't ask in detail. It was better not to go. It was more comfortable to be alone together.

There was no more news from Feng Qing, so he replied to other messages one by one. Finally, he put his phone in his pocket, turned around and asked Chen Zhi whether he wanted to go out now or wait a little longer.

Chen Zhi was surprised and said, "It's so late, where are you going?"

Feng Ran was stunned by the question. Isn't the New Year just about going out after dinner at night? He bought a trunk full of fireworks. Could it be set off during the day?

Chen Zhi was silent and said that he had never set off any fireworks. This day was the same as usual. He went to bed after dinner. Sometimes he felt it was too noisy outside and would wear earplugs.

They drove to the suburbs of the city. Under the street lights, the lake was frozen. There were children playing on the bridge, clustered together, and then screamed and covered their ears and scattered. A few seconds later, the crackling sound of firecrackers exploded. Feng Ran turned around. Chen Zhi squinted his eyes, his neck tucked into his collar, his brows slightly frowned, as if he was displeased by the noise.

Feng Ran saw the gap in the collar and had bad intentions. His frozen hand slid in like a fish, causing Shen Zhi to tremble and wrinkle his features, but he did not resist. Feng Ran enjoyed the warmth flowing into his palm, pressed his fingers on his neck, and put his face against his, whispering, "How is it? How does it feel?" Shen

Zhi opened his eyes slightly and said, "Would you like to try it?"

"No," Feng Ran pulled out his warmed hand, "Let's go, those kids ran away, let's go to the bridge to set off fireworks, stand high, set off high. There's a whole trunk, there must be something you like! Guess how much I spent?"

His body was pulled back, and the brute force made his brain stagnate for half a second, and then he fell forward uncontrollably and fell into an embrace filled with cedar fragrance. That was the perfume that Shen Zhi often used in his closet. The smell floated into his nose, like walking into a forest with sparse leaves in autumn and winter.

Feng Ran was in a trance for a moment. Shen Zhi's strength was so unusual.

Their lips touched in the snow, their hot breath sprinkled on their cheeks, the rising air currents covered their eyelashes with water droplets, and their eyes became clear and ambiguous. Through the heavy coat, Shen Zhi's hands tightly grasped Feng Ran's waist, and he couldn't struggle at all. He was too tall, a little taller than Feng Ran. His neck began to ache, but Shen Zhi had no intention of letting him go.

Feng Ran began to gasp for breath and tried to push Chen Zhi's chest, but was pinned behind him. He responded to the deepening kiss with pain, and the flame grew wildly in his heart. This boy, really... Shen Zhi

loosened his grip a little, panting and staring at him with his eyes downcast, his expression full of patience. He came back from a slightly dizzy state and whispered, "Get in the car." Shen

Zhi said, "Get in the car, are you going back? Where are the fireworks?"

Feng Ran thought to himself, why was he still thinking about fireworks at this time? What was more important? He leaned over again, kissed the overly red lips, and chuckled, "Do it first and then set it off. They're all in the car, we won't be late."

It was four o'clock in the morning when he got home, and the sky was already light. Feng Ran was sleepy and tired, and he forced himself to go to the kitchen to make a pot of hot tea. When he came out, Shen Zhi was lying quietly on the sofa, fast asleep.

He took a blanket and covered it with it, just like he did to himself before. But Shen Zhi didn't open his eyes.