Chapter 73 Choose One of Two

Chen Zhi leaned against the wall, thin as paper, his face as pale as paper.

Feng Ran was speechless, staring at him straight.

The two of them were like they were catching an adulterer. Chen Shuze quickly took the lead in explaining: "You misunderstood, there's nothing between us, me, him... Anyway, I asked him to help. It has nothing to do with him."

Chen Zhi turned a deaf ear and asked: "Is it a family dinner or a social event?"

Chen Shuze was tongue-tied: "Uh, no, it was my parents who insisted..."

Feng Ran interrupted: "Social events."

"Ah. For Feng Ran, of course it's a social event." Chen Shuze said hurriedly.

Unable to bear seeing them singing the same tune, Chen Zhi turned around and left.

Feng Ran got up in less than a second to chase him, but his wrist was held tightly.

Chen Shuze said, "We're not reconciled, so what are you going to do? Explain, apologize, or...? I don't think we did anything extreme. He's overreacting, and you? There's no need."

"Let go." Feng Ran clenched his fists. "I won't explain or apologize. I'll take him home."

Chen Shuze said, "My parents are out. And, you this afternoon..."

"I'll come back to see you this afternoon," Feng Ran said again, his voice firm. "Let go."

Chen Shuze had no choice but to let go. He watched Feng Ran's determined back, feeling as if his muscles and bones had been torn out, and collapsed into a chair, exhausted.

Shen Zhi wasn't far away, just outside the restaurant's parking lot, next to the car. He held a lighter in his hand.

Feng Ran even ran into Chen Shuze's parents as he walked over. After a brief explanation, the two elders let him go. Shen Zhi saw everything, and there was no way to hide anything.

He stopped in front of Shen Zhi, who lowered his head and remained silent. He had already run into Chen's parents at the door of the private room. Although it was their first meeting, they recognized each other immediately and exchanged a few words.

He said he came to see Feng Ran for work.

Feng Ran said, "I'm sorry."

Chen Zhi still held the lighter. The one he gave to Feng Ran.

His shirt pocket was bulging, and Feng Ran saw a corner. It was a cigarette box, a brand he usually smoked.

Chen Zhi never smoked. This was probably prepared for him, usually put in his pocket, and he took it away without noticing before going out.

Feng Ran asked, "You noticed it a long time ago? When? Why didn't you ask me directly?"

Chen Zhi still said nothing.

Feng Ran was helpless. "Look, you're like this. How can I be honest with you? I can only say that there's really nothing between him and me. Believe it or not." Shen

Zhi said indifferently, "So it's my fault?"

"No. I shouldn't have lied to you... I just thought less is better."

"Did you achieve your goal? If I hadn't come, how long would you have kept lying to me?"

"I don't want to argue with you." Feng Ran opened the car door. "Get in. I'll take you home."

Shen Zhi said, "I'm going home, and what about you? Will you continue to be Chen Shuze's boyfriend and help him take care of his family? Then what am I, your ex-boyfriend, or the third party?" He asked weakly, "What do you think of me?"

Feng Ran frowned. Wasn't Shen Zhi's question the same one he'd been asking himself day and night? For

a moment, he doubted himself. Was he wrong to have agreed to Shen Yuan's request from the beginning? He shouldn't have interfered in Shen Zhi's life. He shouldn't have been so confident that he could make Shen Zhi better.

The reality was that he didn't even know what he was thinking.

He was deep in thought, his self-doubt fluttering around him, which Shen Zhi saw as an expression of impatience. He

was the one being unreasonable.

"My patience is limited. Do you want to get in the car or not?" Feng Ran took a deep breath.

Shen Zhi looked at him, his heart trembling. Feng Ran had changed.

He suppressed his bitterness and said, "I only have one question for you."

"You say."

"Are you still meeting each other? I'm talking about this year." He bit his lip and made it clearer. "You two were at He Chuan's shop, it was such a long-awaited reunion. I was so envious of you. And then, did you sleep with him?"

As expected. Feng Ran's heart sank. Shen Zhi had indeed asked this. But he was destined to not be able to give a satisfactory answer.

He opened his mouth and said, "...Is it that important?"

This question, without answering, was also an answer.

Shen Zhi suddenly raised his eyes, and the look in his eyes made Feng Ran unable to look directly at him.

In those few seconds when Shen Zhi looked at him silently and he avoided his gaze, he regretted it deeply. He regretted everything that had happened again with Chen Shuze, and regretted agreeing to this lunch today. It was as if Chen Zhi had cast a spell on him, making him sink into his emotions and unable to control himself. He couldn't say sorry, these three words were so easy that it was funny.

Chen Zhi was full of loss and disappointment, whispering incoherently with a little sob: "How could you, you and him... When you went to the hospital to accompany me, you were with him every day, you... What do you want me to do? Feng Ran. What do you want me to do!"

"What's wrong with going to bed! It's nothing, it's just taking off pants, it's the same as drinking water and eating." Feng Ran still looked at the ground, bluffing and defending, "I haven't confirmed any relationship with him. Never. What's more, we have been separated for a long time, do you think I'm sorry for you? I should always think about you and not contact anyone?" Chen

Zhi's face was pale, and after a long time he said: "Why would I love you."

He turned and closed the car door. A few seconds later, the engine hummed and vibrated, and the car drove away from him.

Feng Ran's heart skipped a beat, and he called Chen Zhi to the air.

He shouldn't care about Chen Zhi. What Chen Zhi said had nothing to do with him. He had no obligation to remain faithful to Shen Zhi, and Shen Zhi had no right to blame him.

But he still felt awful, a feeling he couldn't explain. He couldn't stand the look in Shen Zhi's eyes.

He took a few steps, running behind the car. Shen Zhi showed no sign of stopping. As they were about to exit the garden in front of the restaurant, he slowed down, picked up the phone, and called. Shen Zhi picked up.

"Stop the car," he said weakly. "I'll take you."

"...No." Shen Zhi's voice was almost normal, but Feng Ran could tell he was crying.

"What do you want?"

Shen Zhi said, "Feng Ran."

"Yeah."

"You can only choose between me and Chen Shuze."

Feng Ran hadn't expected this. He didn't want to choose either of them. He

could only say, "Stop the car first. It's dangerous."

Shen Zhi seemed to guess what he was thinking: "If you don't choose him, you have to choose me. If you choose him, I'll die in front of you."

Feng Ran was helpless. This was truly a damned death.

"You live and I die, okay?" he said desperately.

At this moment, Chen Shuze called, and Shen Zhi said, "Tell me quickly, who do you choose? Five, four, three..."

Feng Ran saw the car stopped at the toll booth, and without caring about anything else, he opened the door and ducked in.

Shen Zhi's face was still sickly pale, his skin almost transparent, and his chest was wet.

He glanced at Feng Ran. The phone was still ringing, the ringtone was loud. Chen Shuze's profile picture was a clear lake, a huge indigo expanse hanging on the screen, extremely dazzling.

He reached out to hang up the phone with Feng Ran: "Time's up."

Feng Ran was in a panic, pulling a tissue for Chen Zhi and dealing with others: "Oh, okay, okay, wait a minute, I'll take a call."

The other end of the line answered, and Chen Shuze asked: "Where have you been? Did you send Chen Zhi off? What are your plans later? Do you need me to pick you up?"

Feng Ran said: "I'm sending you off."

"Okay. My dad said it's too hot outside and he wants to go home and rest. We're going home. You can come directly later. Or call me and I'll pick you up. The room is ready, you can't refuse."

Feng Ran said: "Okay."

When Shen Zhi heard his agreement, he braked suddenly to the side of the road. Feng Ran was shocked. This was too dangerous. If he hadn't been wearing a seat belt, he would have been thrown out of the windshield.

Before he could say anything, Shen Zhi said, "What's so good about him that you're so happy to be with him? I'll go with you and learn from him, okay?"

"I'm not with him!" Feng Ran almost yelled, "Get off, I'll drive."

Shen Zhi's hands slipped from the steering wheel, and he lowered his head, looking very aggrieved. But Feng Ran wasn't going to buy it. He got down from the passenger seat, angrily pulled Shen Zhi out and stuffed him back into the back seat, then slammed the door shut.

Shen Zhi let him squeeze and flatten him without making a sound. His arm was a little numb, and the part where Feng Ran had gripped it so tightly turned red. It looked scary, but it didn't hurt much.

Feng Ran drove very steadily, and no matter how big the situation, he would never be distracted. Shen Zhi remembered that during a very difficult time, he had driven a taxi, and perhaps his driving skills were developed at that time. This was something Shen Yuan had told him, but Feng Ran had never mentioned it to him.

Shen Yuan said that he couldn't make much money driving a taxi, so he gave up after a while. Later, he became a model and a resident singer, both of which were probably more glamorous. Feng Ran would occasionally reminisce about those interesting experiences.

The air pressure in the car was frighteningly low. The music wasn't on, only the navigation system's mechanical notifications. Feng Ran once said that this noise made him sleepy. He liked to listen to pop or rock, sometimes playing Ren He and his band on repeat, choosing a song for a while before each trip.

He was so close to the person he longed for, yet he still felt so much reluctance, dissatisfaction, and longing—a thick, burning longing that threatened to consume his sanity.

He fiddled with his lighter, and it occurred to him that he had seen the news a few days earlier about a lighter spontaneously combusting in a car in the summer heat, warning drivers to get out and remove the flammable material.

If this thing exploded, the car would be a total loss, and Feng Ran would surely be heartbroken. Forget it, he thought.

Even if he died, he wanted to die quietly. And with Feng Ran by his side, he didn't want to die just yet.

Before getting on the highway, Feng Ran suddenly locked the car door. Chen Zhi snapped out of his endless reverie and smiled silently. Was Feng Ran worried that he'd impulsively jump out of the car?

His hand gently touched the small, cool glass medicine bottle in his pocket, touching his body temperature.

Chen Zhi was right; Feng Ran did have that concern. He glanced in the rearview mirror and happened to catch a glimpse of Shen Zhi's eerie smile. He couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong with you?"

He wasn't angry to begin with; he was just praying that Shen Zhi would get home safely, so he could feel he'd accomplished his mission.

Shen Zhi said, "Nothing."

They were both silent for a moment. Feng Ran instructed, "Eat something when you get home and get some rest. I'll come see you tonight."

It looked like they couldn't go to the bar now, but that wasn't a big deal.

"You don't have to come. Don't worry about me."

Feng Ran thought he was just sulking and said nothing.

Before getting out of the car, he noticed that Shen Zhi looked unwell. When he asked him what was wrong, he just kept shaking his head. Feng Ran guessed that the weather was too hot, and with all the traveling, he'd had a bit of a heat stroke.

After putting the person to bed and making some mung bean soup, Chen Shuze called one after another, saying that they were short one for a card game and were waiting for him.

Just as he was about to leave, Chen Zhi coughed violently in the bedroom. Feng Ran stopped and turned around to look. Chen Zhi coughed up a large pool of blood, instantly dyeing the bed sheet bright red.

In the white room and white sheets, the flowing blood was like an enchanting flower. Shen Zhi covered his mouth with his hands, and a long line of blood fell from between his fingers.

Feng Ran was suddenly confused and rushed over to reach out to pull the person away, but was pushed away.

Shen Zhi was so weak, but he was very strong, and he pushed him and made him stumble.

He said in a hoarse voice: "Go on your way, don't worry about me."

Feng Ran remembered that the doctor said that Shen Zhi's condition was unstable and he was afraid of relapse. If there were special circumstances, he must go to the hospital as soon as possible, and take medicine if necessary or surgery if necessary. However, he pulled Shen Zhi's clean hand, but he couldn't move it. There was a striking red mark on his wrist. He hadn't figured out how it came about, and when he accidentally touched it, Shen Zhi retracted his hand in pain.

Feng Ran hurriedly let go and said, "If I don't take care of you, who will? Get out of bed and come to the hospital with me." Chen

Zhi just said, "None of your business. Go find Chen Shuze."

"I have to take you to the hospital first."

"I'm fine." Shen Zhi actually gave him a bleak smile, the blood stain on his lips shocking. "You'll feel better after vomiting."

Thinking of the pajamas he had changed every day in recent days and the sheets that were always hung out to dry on the balcony... Feng Ran came to his senses, like a slap in the face: "How long has it been?"

"Not long," Shen Zhi replied. "Three or five days. I can't remember."

Feng Ran didn't care too much. He rolled up the dirty quilt and sheets, put them on the ground, and threw the clothes to him: "I should take you or call the emergency number, it's your choice." Shen

Zhi huddled in the corner of the bed and asked, "Why do you care about me? Isn't it better for me to fend for myself? Do you know that you're not doing good for any of us? Are you trying to have the best of both worlds?"

Feng Ran knew he was doomed, completely doomed. He was no match for Shen Zhi at all, and finally capsized in the gutter.

He gritted his teeth and grabbed his collar, saying in a loud voice: "Come with me now, I will never look for Chen Shuze again in my life."

"Really? You lied to me and said I was a puppy?"

"If I lied to you, I will be your dog for the rest of my life."

Shen Zhi smiled contentedly, closed his eyes, and fell limply into Feng Ran's arms. No matter how he called, there was no response.