The promises made in youth,
Like a dandelion after it blooms,
The wind blows away everything, never to come back.

Yan Wenbo told me a story.
Once upon a time, there was a cute little brown bear who always thought he was the most beautiful bear in the world. One day, a little white bear family moved to his home.
When the little brown bear jumped to watch the fun, he found the little white bear was so cute, much cuter than himself. He was so sad that he ran home and hugged his mother's thigh and cried for a long time.
They lived very close to each other and played in the same yard. As time went by, the little white bear and the little brown bear became good friends. They often went to dig honey together, teased the little rabbit next door together, and once secretly pulled Mr. Leopard's beard and was chased everywhere.
The little white bear once patted his chest and vowed that he and the little brown bear would be good friends for life. The little brown bear said the same thing.
Later, the two of them went to kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, and university together. The little brown bear followed the little white bear all the way. Although he was also so cute, the first thing people saw was the little white bear. The mother brown bear often said, "If you can be as good at grades, as cute, and as sweet as the little white bear, I will be less angry."
The little brown bear felt wronged and sad, but when he thought about the little white bear patting his chest, he told himself not to be jealous, because they were good friends.
Then one day, the little white bear and the little brown bear met Miss Bear together. The little brown bear's heart was pounding, and he fell in love with Miss Bear at first sight. But he was sad because Miss Bear only had eyes for the little white bear and not for him.
The little brown bear was very sad. He tried his best to be nice to Miss Bear, hoping that one day Miss Bear would see his efforts.
But no, Miss Bear still only has the little white bear in her eyes.
The little brown bear then realized that no matter how hard he tried, Miss Bear would never truly like him. It was not that he had never felt discouraged, but most of the time he was still in love with her passionately.
"No, that's not the case." I interrupted him.
He looked at me with confused eyes.
Five days ago, Yan Wenbo and I had a big argument.
Ji Suting and I both work in the library, so inevitably there are some things we need to deal with together, which I can't avoid no matter how hard I try.
That day was no different from any other day. Ji Suting had not arrived yet, and the teacher asked me to organize the books on the upper shelf.
I didn't think too much about it, I just carried the ladder up and started to sort the books, one by one. At this time, someone came to return a book, but no one was there to greet him. The person kept shouting that he was in a hurry, and everyone in the library frowned in annoyance.
I wanted to go down and deal with it quickly, so I got down in a hurry and fell off the ladder.
That was the second time Ji Suting carried me to the infirmary. The first time was during military training. I was unconscious and had not expressed my love for him. This time I was in so much pain that I didn't care who was holding me. I just wanted to go to the infirmary.
Although I thought so, it was not the case in the eyes of outsiders, and it changed again when it reached Yan Wenbo's ears.
I was lying on the bed when he arrived at the infirmary. Ji Suting handed me a peeled apple. The sunlight shone on us, softly and full of ambiguity.
"You don't need to take care of my girlfriend." Yan Wenbo said this stiffly.
The apple rolled twice on the ground and landed at his feet. He kicked it in annoyance, walked to the bed and pushed Ji Suting aside.
"I'll leave first since you came. There are still many books to be sorted in the library." Ji Suting picked up his coat, turned to me, said "Get some rest", and left.
Yan Wenbo sat there silently, picked up the apple and started peeling it. After a few peels, most of the flesh was peeled off, and he almost forced it into my hand.
"I'm in so much pain now and don't want to eat. Just put it aside and I'll eat it later." I moved my body with difficulty because my waist was in so much pain.
"Cun Zhiwei, what do you mean by this?" He suddenly threw the apple into the trash can and slammed the knife in his hand on the table. "You can eat the apples peeled by Ji Suting, but you don't want to eat the ones peeled by me?"
"When did I eat his apple? When he handed it to me, I said it was hurting and I didn't want to eat it. It's just that you didn't hear it when you came in!" I really didn't have the energy to argue with him. Fatigue surged up in me.
"Did I not hear you or are you just trying to put me off? If they hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known you were injured, and I wouldn't have seen you two looking at each other so affectionately." Yan Wenbo stood up angrily and paced back and forth beside the bed. "Cun Zhiwei, tell me, did you not inform me because you still have feelings for him and want to be alone with him?"
"I'm really in pain right now. I don't want to argue with you. Can you be quiet and listen to me?" I tried to get up and pull him up, but the severe pain in my waist made me fall back. "My phone was turned off when I fell down. It was so painful that I didn't notice it."
"Then you can also ask Ji Suting to notify me, right? Cun Zhiwei, you just want to be alone with him, right?"
"Yan Wenbo, are you here to see me or to cause trouble?" I was also a little impatient.
Trying my best to suppress my inner unhappiness, I picked up the water that Ji Suting had poured for me before he left and took a sip. The warmth passed through the wall of the glass to my fingertips, and the water vapor hit my face, giving me a brief moment of tenderness.
I know all the anxieties in his heart, and I also know that it will take a long time to soothe them. I am trying my best, and I also hope that he can look forward a little.
"Do you still like Ji Suting?" he asked, raising his eyes.
"How do you want me to answer you?" His words stirred up the emotions that had been suppressed with great difficulty. "If I say yes, you will get angry and irritable. If I say no, you will not believe me. What kind of answer do you want? Please tell me, okay?"
"You..." He glared at me, knowing that this conversation could no longer go on, and left angrily.
"Please close the door when you leave." I thought it was noisy.
"Bang!" The door was slammed, and the narrow glass was shaking slightly.
I held the cup and drank the water in it sip by sip. My tears fell into the cup and tasted bitter and astringent in my mouth.
If I could, I would also like to vent loudly and scold this boy loudly, but I am too tired and have no strength.
Later, Shi Shuxia and Xu Meng'er also came to see me. After I recovered a little, they helped me back to the dormitory.
In the next two or three days, Yan Wenbo did not contact me on his own initiative. I occasionally heard some news about him from Xu Meng'er, and he was basically playing basketball crazily on the court until closing time.
He was numbing himself with fatigue.
I sat on the bed and thought about it for the whole morning, and finally I couldn't help but send him a text message first, asking him to meet in the woods near the basketball court, and I would wait there for him.
When we got to the grove, Yan Wenbo was already sitting there, looking into the distance with a lost look in his eyes. I walked over to him and sat down.
I said, “We need to talk.”
Then he told me a story, about a little white bear who was always the center of attention and a little brown bear who was always hidden under the spotlight. In this story, I played a role that he could not control.
I said, "Later, Miss Bear still fell in love with Little Brown Bear, and she tried very hard to stay with Little Brown Bear forever. She wanted to tell Little Brown Bear that her choice was never about compromise or settling for second best, and she would only choose the one she liked the most."
The April sunshine is warm and gentle, and the wind carries the scent of unknown flowers, making people feel calm.
Yan Wenbo and I sat on a bench enjoying the sunshine. I held his hand tightly and would not give in even if he wanted to pull it away.
I used to think I was capable of handling everything, but after falling in love I realized it was really difficult to take care of two people’s feelings.
Yan Wenbo was inferior to Ji Suting. From childhood to adulthood, Ji Suting was not only a good friend to him, but also a child from another family. His excellence always made him feel suffocated. He was like the powerful Monkey King who could not break through the shackles of the Five Finger Mountain. So after I and Ji Suting had an intersection, he would subconsciously think that he was going to lose again, so he would be more nervous and want to hold on more.
He still didn't understand that some love is like quicksand, the more you try to grasp it, the harder it is to grasp it.
Ji Suting is the first boy who made me understand what love is. There is no law or regulation that says the first person you fall in love with must be the one you love the most, and no one says the first person you like must be the one you will be with for life.
He was like a dream of mine, and Hua Siyu's slap woke me up and brought me back to reality.
And Yan Wenbo, he always exists, and we are teaching each other how to love.
"Weiwei, I'm sorry. I really..."
"It doesn't matter."
Time was very quiet, and my palms became wet because of a decision I made in my heart. Everything around me became quiet, so quiet that I could clearly hear our breathing.
I held my breath nervously and slowly moved towards Yan Wenbo. His lips were so close, but I took a long time to get close to him. When we were about to touch each other, a shout woke us both up completely. At the same time, we turned our heads away with red faces, not daring to look at each other.
"Let's read here!" Xu Meng'er shouted.
The sweat on our bodies was blown away by the wind, leaving behind a cool feeling. Xu Meng'er and Shi Shuxia stood in front of us with smiles on their faces, ignoring Yan Wenbo's gloomy face.
We almost kissed...
"Why are you here?" Although it was a question asked to two people, my eyes were always on Shi Shuxia. She was smiling, like a beautiful gardenia, emitting a faint fragrance, non-toxic and harmless.
"We wanted to find a place to study, but we didn't expect to see you here." Xu Meng'er glanced at Yan Wenbo and me, looking very unhappy.
Shi Shuxia was the only one who knew that Yan Wenbo and I had made an appointment here. Xu Meng'er usually thinks more about dressing up, so how could it be such a coincidence that she would be studying at this time and place?
Is it a coincidence? I don't believe it.
Thinking about the various rumors about the scholarship, I began to doubt whether I really knew this girl named Shi Shuxia?
Ji Suting and Hua Siyu broke up, and along with the breakup rumors, there was also the rumor that Cun Zhiwei was a mistress.
As soon as the news came out, reporters from campus tabloids rushed out. Ji Suting was either in the library or in class every day, so there was almost no opportunity to interview him. Hua Siyu was calm and proud, and insisted on breaking up without saying anything bad. They chased her for a few days but didn't get any answers, so they broke up.
At first I thought they would come looking for me, after all I was the second female lead in this story. Instead, everything was very quiet, no one came looking for me, no one asked me, so they labeled me a mistress and then made a big fuss about it, making everyone believe that I was a mistress who was hated by everyone.
For a time, various versions of the story about me interfering in the relationship between Ji Suting and Hua Siyu went viral on campus forums, and all kinds of blurry photos of Ji Suting and I, such as intimate photos, became the so-called "confirmed evidence."
Every day when I open the forum and see those titles and photos, I feel a little amused and helpless. I admit that I was there when they broke up, and I also admit that I liked Ji Suting, but I really can't take the blame for directly intervening in their relationship and causing their breakup.
Ji Suting broke up with Hua Siyu in the library.
There was a club meeting on Tuesday afternoon, so not many people were in the library. A new batch of books had arrived, so the teacher asked me to move them to the storage room and put them out after the registration numbers were recorded.
Of course I carried the books without complaint, and after several trips back and forth, my whole body was sore. When I wanted to find a place to put the books down and pound my waist, Ji Suting appeared, took the pile of books from me, gave me a smile, and left.
Knowing that Yan Wenbo minded my meeting with Ji Suting, I talked to the teacher several times with the reason that "it's more efficient to meet at different times" so that I could avoid meeting Ji Suting as much as possible. This time was just an accident and I didn't take it to heart.
It's just a smile, but in the eyes of someone who is interested it becomes a look of affection.
When Hua Siyu came to question me, I was thanking Ji Suting and preparing to leave. She stood in front of me with tears in her eyes. She looked at Ji Suting and almost gritted her teeth: "Don't you need to give me an explanation?"
So their conversation turned into the scene of their breakup.
Hua Siyu: "Don't you need to give me an explanation?"
Ji Suting: "I don't know what to explain."
Hua Siyu: "Have you forgotten what you promised me?"
Ji Suting: "As far as I can remember, I didn't do anything out of line. Don't you think that's tiring?"
Hua Siyu: "If you hadn't done anything, where would the storm come from?"
Ji Suting: "Siyu, I'm really tired of you being like this. I've explained this to you many times, but you just don't believe it."
Hua Siyu: "Tired? What qualifications do you have to say you're tired?"
Ji Suting: "Let's break up."
Hua Siyu: "You want to break up with me?"
Ji Suting: “Yes.”
Hua Siyu: "Okay, I promise you."
She had her own pride and self-esteem, which did not allow her to cry and keep a boy by her side. She straightened her back and left proudly. Only I, as a girl, saw the trembling and sadness in her back.
In the short three-minute conversation, I was just a bystander and didn't say a word. I wanted to leave but was afraid of being mistaken for being guilty. If I didn't leave, it would seem like I was being forced out by a mistress. It was not right to leave, and it was not right not to leave. I felt helpless and embarrassed!
Just when I was in a dilemma, Ji Suting looked up and smiled at me apologetically: "I'm sorry for letting you see all this. You go back first, I will take care of the rest."
"Oh, then goodbye, senior." Ji Suting's eyes made me feel inexplicably sad. I wanted to say something comforting to him, but after holding it in for a long time, I was left speechless.
When Yan Wenbo called me, I was on my bed, scrolling my mouse through the forums and looking at all sorts of gossip stories that could make a lot of money by serializing on literary websites, and I was still the second female lead that everyone hated.
I took a look and picked up the phone. He said coldly, "Where are you?"
I said, "You don't have to go to the library or the coffee shop this afternoon. I'm in the dormitory. Didn't I tell you that in a text message last night?"
"Hmm," he hummed dully, "Have you read the school forum?"
“I saw it!” I laughed. “These people have such a vivid imagination. If I wasn’t the one involved, I would probably have believed their stories.”
"Is it really made up?" he asked again.
I naively thought that after our last talk, Yan Wenbo would trust me and not doubt me. I told him all those ridiculous stories from the forum as if I was telling him a joke I had just heard, and I never expected that he would take it seriously.
"Yan Wenbo, you really disappoint me." I hung up the phone angrily and threw the phone aside.
I was flipping through the posts on the forum with a confused heart, and stopped at the voting post when Yan Wenbo and I just got together. Maybe some people will be happy now, because Yan Wenbo and I may not last more than a year and may break up.
I have never been so discouraged in this relationship.
"You've become a big celebrity on campus recently." Xu Meng'er came back to the dormitory and saw me sulking on the bed and teased me.
"Are you gloating?" I asked.
Xu Meng'er smiled ostentatiously and said, "Is that how you understand it?"
My relationship with Xu Meng'er has never been very good, and it has never reached the level it is today. A while ago, when Shi Shuxia disappeared, she was so worried that she dragged me along to look for her. Our relationship seemed to have improved, but I don't know why I always feel that she has become more and more hostile to me recently, and I can't think of how I have offended her.
"It doesn't matter how I interpret it," I replied.
"That's right." She walked to her bedside and reached out to feel around. "Actually, I'm just a little happy to see you in such misfortune."
"Then you will probably be happy for a while. Why don't you treat me to a meal? After all, I have brought you happiness for so long." I said.
"There are more exciting things waiting for me!" Xu Meng'er was still smiling. She stuffed the things she found into her bag. When she reached the door, she tilted her head and said to me, "Cun Zhiwei, people's good luck will eventually run out."
That thing looks like...Durex?
Thinking back to a while ago, Xu Meng'er did stay out all night, so her progress is indeed fast enough. Thinking about me and Yan Wenbo, we have been together for a while, but we didn't even kiss each other, and now it has become like this, I don't know what will happen in the future.
But what did her last sentence mean?
Good luck? Have I ever had such a thing?
It was a long time before I understood what Xu Meng'er meant. Only then did I realize that life was much more exciting than TV dramas. TV dramas have a beginning, a middle, and an end. I was on top of the waves from beginning to end, and I didn't know when I was filmed off.
I also understand that some things that I think are ordinary may be great happiness in the eyes of others.
I don’t understand now. I am only obsessed with the pain in front of me, thinking about how to make Yan Wenbo understand me a little bit. I don’t want to miss someone who loves me.
Thinking of this, I couldn't help but call Yan Wenbo. Some things needed to be made clear.
I called again and again, but the system only prompted: Sorry, the user you dialed is busy on the phone, please call again later.
I continued to call, but the system prompts were still repetitive and cold.
I put on a coat and thought about going to see him. Some problems need to be solved as soon as possible.
It was already dark, and the night wind was a bit chilly. The girls' dormitory was very close to the boys' dormitory, only three to five minutes away. No matter where I went, people would point at me, so I subconsciously wrapped my coat tightly.
There is a big banyan tree downstairs of the boys' dormitory. I stood under the tree and kept dialing the phone, but the call went from "Call in progress" to "The user you dialed is turned off."
There was a boy sitting on the balcony playing and singing a Mayday song, the name seemed to be "Suddenly I Miss You So Much".
A man screamed, "I miss you so much suddenly. Where are you?" Someone stuck his head out of the window next door and replied, "In my bed!" There was a burst of laughter.
I stood under the tree looking for a familiar figure, and finally saw Yan Wenbo's roommate. I rushed up to him and asked him to help me call Yan Wenbo down. In the end, he yelled at me through the window that Yan Wenbo was not there.
People around started talking.
"Cun Zhiwei is here to see Yan Wenbo? Isn't he Ji Suting?"
"Who knows, maybe I want both!"
"She's not that good looking, not even close to Hua Siyu."
…
Boys are no more restrained than girls when it comes to gossiping. Seeing that they were about to tell dirty jokes, I couldn't help but turn around and leave. On the way back, Yan Wenbo's phone was still turned off.
Not far away, someone was lighting a love candle to express his love. People around him were cheering and laughing. The joyful atmosphere made me feel particularly desolate. The louder they laughed, the emptier my heart felt.
When I closed my eyes, I could only think of Yan Wenbo's smile. My phone kept beeping, with system notifications. Every time I heard the same lines, my heart became more desolate.
That day, after that phone call, I never contacted Yan Wenbo again.
When I called him, his phone was either turned off or busy. I tried to find him in the junior classroom, but his classmates always told me that he was not there. Later, even if we didn't meet in the teaching building, his classmates would tell me that they didn't see Yan Wenbo today.
I have no idea whether he didn't see me or he didn't want to see me.