Chapter 7 This Love Will Never End 5. Separation of hairpins
After the funeral, Liu Qiang, Liu Fu, Liu Ying and others began to return to their fiefdoms one after another. Xu Yanzhi followed her son back to Chu as the Queen Mother of Chu to live out her days. Before Yanzhi left, she came to my palace to resign. I didn't see her. She knelt at the door of the palace and thanked me profusely, with tears in her eyes. She kowtowed to me and thanked me through two doors, and then left the palace where she had been trapped for more than 30 years.
Although the princes left smoothly, the incident with Liu Jing was inevitable with rumors, even if they deliberately concealed it from the outside world. After this incident, although the new emperor ascended the throne, whether he could control the old ministers in the court as freely as the previous emperor did, it would take a difficult adjustment period.
The new emperor must train his own leadership team members and also integrate with the old ministers. This era of transition from the old to the new greatly tests an emperor's perseverance and strong skills.
Liu Zhuang's temper is a bit like mine, young and energetic, he does everything in a swift and resolute manner, and he cannot tolerate any sand in his eyes. This style of behavior is suitable for cracking down on and rectifying work styles, but it is not suitable for the current transitional stage.
After a month, Liu Zhuang had lost a lot of weight. But if he didn't speak, I would ignore him. Finally, one day after the court session, he went straight to the West Palace. Although he still didn't say anything, he suddenly rested his head on my lap like when he was a child.
I stroked his hair gently, helped him stand up, and put the crown on his head properly. My sympathy was evident in my words. "You must first understand their intentions, and then you can bargain with them. If you force them, won't it only make them disappointed in you, the emperor? You should also know what the consequences will be if you lose their support. So, sometimes you should control your temper and think more about how your father dealt with them in the past. Being an emperor and dealing with ministers is also a science."
Liu Zhuang sighed in hesitation and melancholy, with frustration and unwillingness in his eyes.
Seeing his gloomy face, I felt so sorry for him that I couldn't help but sigh, "Your brother...Jing'er is not doing well, but that doesn't mean your brothers are not doing well either. You should think about it."
He nodded slowly: "I have thought about it, but even if I let Liu Cang help me, some old ministers may not be willing to truly trust me and assist me with all their strength..." At this point, he slammed his fist with hatred, "Those cunning old guys are pretending to be nice to me. One day, I will..."
"Childish talk!" I shook my head, feeling angry and amused.
Liu Zhuang smiled shyly, "Alas, I also know that I can only say this in anger in front of my mother." He paused, "In fact... I have thought it over carefully. Looking at the civil and military officials in the court, no one can match Gaomi Hou in terms of qualifications, merits, and prestige. I was taught by him when I was young, and I have no doubt about how capable Gaomi Hou is. Moreover, the Deng family has thirteen sons, all of whom are both virtuous and talented, and can all be used by the court. I wanted to ask Gaomi Hou to assist in government affairs, and I believe that once Gaomi Hou appears, everything can be settled, but he declined on the grounds of old age. Now I really have no way out."
While Liu Zhuang was talking to me, Ma Cheng came to pay her respects. She also had a melancholy look on her face, and was full of worries, but she hid it very well, with a calm expression. She maintained the restraint that should be shown when observing mourning, but also the gentleness that a daughter-in-law should have when serving her mother-in-law.
I chatted with them for half an hour. Ma Cheng saw that I looked tired, so he subtly winked at Liu Zhuang, and the two of them left together in tacit understanding.
After they left, I sat on the couch in a daze, not moving at all, and didn't even notice when Shanan came up to me.
Shanan called out several times before I came to my senses and asked in surprise, "What did you say?"
"It's getting dark, so the eunuch asked what you'd like to eat for supper tonight so he can prepare the ingredients."
I unconsciously said "oh", but still didn't take her words to heart. My mind was in a mess. I held it in for a long time before I looked up and said to Shannan, "Go to the Guangde Hall of Yuntai and get me a dressing box from the upper compartment of the cabinet in the east pavilion."
Shanan was startled, then replied, "The upper compartment of the cabinet in the East Pavilion is locked. The key is not with me. Did the Queen Mother give it to Concubine Ma for safekeeping?"
I shook my head, stood up tremblingly, climbed onto the bed tremblingly, and then fumbled in the secret compartment at the head of the bed, and finally took out a dark key. At that moment, I didn't have the courage to take a closer look, and directly handed it to Shanan: "Take it..."
Shanan took the key and teased me jokingly behind me: "What good things did the Queen Mother hide? It turns out that the cabinet is full of dowry given by your family. Over the years, you always asked me to open the cabinet to take out things to reward people, and the cabinet is almost empty - it turns out there are still good treasures hidden."
I didn't look back, and spat angrily: "Just go get it when I told you to, why are you talking so much nonsense!"
Shanan observed my expression and immediately realized something was wrong. She stopped talking and turned to leave. When the footsteps were about to reach the door, I shuddered and nervously shouted, "Slow down!"
Sanan paused.
My chest was so stuffy that I couldn't breathe. I took a deep breath and spoke with great difficulty: "After you take the box, you don't have to bring it back to me. Have someone send it directly to the Gaomi Marquis's mansion. Remember, tell the person who sends it to hand it over to the Gaomi Marquis and not to pass it on through other hands..."
"promise."
"Wait!" I was still worried, so I turned around and looked directly at Shannan. "You should go on this trip yourself. I don't trust anyone else. Remember to ask Gaomi Hou to open the box himself. You can come back after he has looked at the things. You don't need to wait for a reply or tell him anything!"
"Yes." No matter what my intention was, Shanan knew the rules and would never ask questions that she shouldn't.
After she left, I stayed in my room, feeling uneasy. The maids served me midnight snacks, but I had no appetite. It was around the second watch when Shanan came back.
"The box was handed over to Marquis Gaomi, and the contents were opened and examined. Marquis Gaomi did not say a word. I completed my mission and returned directly."
I was so nervous and uneasy, but after listening to Shanan's words, I suddenly calmed down, as if I was in a state of extreme confusion, but my mind was empty. So I smiled calmly: "It's late, go back to your room and go to bed."
I couldn't sleep all night, and many fragments of memories flashed through my mind.
I am obviously old, and some things happened a long, long time ago, but those fragmented fragments are still imprinted in my mind as clear as if it were yesterday.
At daybreak, the voice of the Grand Chamberlain was heard outside the door, cautiously asking, "Has the Queen Mother woken up?"
I opened my eyes with a start, my throat felt dry as if it was on fire: "What's the matter?"
There was a commotion outside when they heard my question . Three or four palace maids came in to serve. The Grand Chamberlain replied from outside, "The Marquis of Gaomi is outside the palace asking for an audience!"
The palace maid was handing me a hot handkerchief to wipe my face. When I heard this, I was distracted and didn't catch the handkerchief tightly, so it fell to the ground with a thud.
I met Deng Yu under the veranda on the south side of Xuande Hall. The sun had just risen from the horizon, and the veranda was well ventilated, so I didn't feel stuffy sitting under the veranda. Over the years, I have often seen Deng Yu, but most of the time I only saw him at festivals and celebrations, and more often I just caught a glimpse of him from afar in the bustling crowd. It wasn't often, but every time I saw him, I felt that he had changed a lot, especially in the past few years, his hair and beard were half white, and he was obviously getting older.
I think this situation is not only true for him, but also for me who is two years younger than him.
Time flies by and in the blink of an eye, we are both white-haired old men.
Deng Yu was wearing a plain Zen robe. When he came towards him, his wide robe was blown up by the wind, his sleeves were filled with wind, and he looked like he was about to fly to the sky against the wind.
"Gao Mi Hou Chen Yu pays homage to the Queen Mother!"
I squinted my eyes. Deng Yu was so far away that I couldn't see his face clearly. Under the spacious corridor, old friends met each other, but due to the difference in status, there was a strong sense of awkwardness between the two.
Shanan was smart. She signaled to take away all the palace maids and eunuchs in the corridor, and retreat to the courtyard ten feet away to wait. In this way, she could speak freely without violating etiquette.
Deng Yu and I were the only ones left in the corridor. I wanted to say something but hesitated, not knowing how to break the deadlock. I could only awkwardly cast my gaze at the dozen or so palace maids in the distance.
As I hesitated, I suddenly realized that Deng Yu was approaching me, and he was only a few steps away from me. I was startled and pointed to the mat in front of me: "Please sit down!"
He sat down as I told him, but before he sat down he moved the mat closer, so that we were almost touching. I was a little flustered, but he didn't care. After he sat down, he looked me straight in the eyes, staring at me without blinking. There was something indescribably strange about that look, as if he could see through me.
After a while, he suddenly grinned. Because the smile was so sudden, I was not mentally prepared at all. I had considered various opening remarks, but I never expected that he would smile at me. When he smiled, I subconsciously smiled back at him. We both laughed at the same time, and the awkward atmosphere was swept away.
He took something out of his sleeve and handed it to me. I took it in a daze, and when I looked down, I saw that it was half a broken white jade hairpin. My heart sank, and I blurted out, "You don't want to?"
He still looked at me and smiled, but there was an indescribable sadness in his smile, as if he was laughing at me, but also as if he was laughing at himself.
As soon as I said this, I regretted it so much that I wanted to bite off my tongue. Deng Yu gave me this half-hair and promised to take me away whenever and wherever I wanted... But now, things have changed so much, and I have to use this half-hair promise to beg him to agree to something else.
How could I, a despicable person like me, have the nerve to ask him whether he was willing or not?
Just as I was feeling extremely ashamed, Deng Yu stretched out his left hand in front of me, and unexpectedly, half of a broken hairpin was lying in his palm. Without saying a word, he put the two broken hairpins together, and the cold jades collided, making a "crack" sound like breaking ice - the white jade hairpin that had been separated for 34 years finally came together.
Deng Yu stared at the jade hairpin on the table with a look of love and pain in his eyes. After a while, he left the table.
I raised my head and stared at him blankly.
"I will give you everything I have, and I will promise you that I will give you my hairpin today. You will never regret it in your life!" He said this lightly, paused, bowed deeply to me, and said four words solemnly, "As you wish!"
Turn around and leave.
The wind in the corridor was strong, and the sleeves of the clothes rustled in the whistling sound like tearing silk. The outstanding figure with sleeves waving and ready to fly away gradually faded into a vague outline. At that moment, my heart was extremely painful and my eyes were wet unconsciously.
