Chapter 7 The stars looked like you last night Yu Nansheng04
After a long discussion with my uncle, I decided to go back to school to continue my studies. Classes had already started for a week, and if I stayed like this any longer, I would miss a lot of classes. I started a three-point-one-line life, running between home, the classroom, and the cafeteria every day.
When I was at home, Qi Qi would find different ways to cook delicious food for me, but when I was at school, I would always eat at the same restaurant that I had taken my dad to before. Fortunately, it was still there, otherwise I would probably have gone hungry.
I think the food cooked by everyone in the world tastes the same. As long as it fills my stomach, I can’t taste any difference.
After school that day, I received a call from my grandfather, who asked me in a sad tone when I would go to see him. I suddenly remembered that it was not just me who lost my father, but many people who lost their loved ones, just like my grandfather, who lost his son at an old age.
I still remember that at the funeral, Grandpa fainted after calling Dad's name, but I didn't even have the courage to look at Grandpa. It was all my fault. Grandpa lost his son at an old age, and lost his support, leaving me a useless person who couldn't be a pillar of support for Grandpa. Although my uncle and aunt would not leave Grandpa alone, he still aged a lot overnight.
When I heard my grandfather's voice, I felt very sad. I comforted him and said that I would definitely visit him soon.
But when my grandfather asked me the exact date, I couldn't tell him. I hadn't looked at the calendar for a long time, and I didn't know what day it was, let alone what year or day it was. Sometimes on Saturdays and Sundays, I would come to school with my books, look at the empty classroom, and then slowly walk home.
Qi Qi said I looked like I had lost my soul.
"Nan Sheng, watch this show! Wow, this guy is so handsome!" Qi Qi curled up on the sofa watching variety shows, and I stood in the kitchen heating milk. I kept an eye on it these last few times, and it finally didn't get too hot, which gave me a sense of accomplishment. I was finally able to do something well.
I poured out two cups and handed one to Qi Qi.
I am very grateful to Qi Qi. Thanks to her, this home has a little life. Otherwise, even if the TV is on, it would still feel empty and scary.
I used to be not afraid of the night, and I even told Shen Yuxi that the night could be overcome. But now, I am trapped in the darkness day after day and cannot extricate myself.
I glanced at the TV, took a sip of milk, and casually asked, "Who is this?"
Qi Qi looked at me in disbelief, and then said angrily, "This is the most popular star right now. Every time I see him, my blood boils. I said you are cold! Not only are you not moved by reporter Shen, but you also don't feel excited when you see such a handsome star."
I covered my chest and said, "If there is no heartbeat, then it means death, right?"
She seemed not to hear my answer and was staring at the TV. Or maybe she understood my evasion and sympathized with me and didn't expose me.
I am grateful and try hard to get through all the dark nights.
There are not many classes this semester. When I have nothing to do, I like to sit on the playground, and most of the time I just sit there in a daze. Watching people coming and going, I suddenly feel very lonely.
Is there anyone in this world who has not experienced loneliness?
I was surprised when I heard Lu Shuang calling my name at school. She was standing not far away and staring at me. I always thought I had good eyesight. In the newspaper office, no matter how far away I was, I could see Shen Yuxi at a glance. But I don't know since when, I can't even see him clearly when he is standing in front of me.
Perhaps it was from the moment my father fell in front of me covered in blood that I no longer wanted to see this world.
"Why are you here?" I walked to Lu Shuang's side, holding the railing with my hands, my eyes stayed on her for a long time, I smiled, stretched out my hand to pull her to sit next to me, "Come, sit here, I'm tired of standing."
Lu Shuang said unhappily, "Tired? I've been here for a long time. I was here when you were in class. You were dazed during class and you were sleepy after class. Now you tell me you're tired? Yu Nansheng, can't you live anymore?"
How can it be so serious?
"Was I daydreaming during class? I clearly took very complete notes! Take a look!" I handed the book in my arms to Lu Shuang. She took one look at it and sneered and returned it to me: "You didn't take this class just now. You even brought the wrong textbook."
I looked down at the book in my arms in confusion, and carefully recalled what class I had just taken. Lu Shuang was right, I was in a daze, and now I can't remember anything.
I sighed.
Lu Shuang is cold and indifferent, always hitting me in the face, hurting me. I came to class mainly because I wanted to be in a crowded place and didn't want to face an empty house alone.
"Yu Nansheng, this is not the you I know." She said this and turned away.
These words made me feel confused about the future, life, and everything.
"Nan Sheng, are you going home?" a classmate called me from a distance.
I responded, blinked my dry eyes, then got up and left.
When I got home in the evening, I was watching TV series on my phone. Qi Qi called and said she had to work overtime. The newspaper office seemed to be very busy recently. When I saw Lu Shuang in the afternoon, she was also holding a camera. I guess she was interviewing near my school and came to see me. Even just like this, I was also very moved. After all, it was not .
I'm waiting for Shen Yuxi's call.
Every night, Shen Yuxi would take time to call me. Even if he didn't say anything, as long as I heard his breathing on the other end of the phone, I would feel at ease, at least I wouldn't suffer from insomnia. But tonight, it was past 11 o'clock, and he still didn't call.
The milk in the cup had gone cold. I wasn’t in the mood to heat it up, so I simply didn’t drink it.
Just as I was about to go back to my room, I heard someone unlocking the door. Qi Qi came in and saw me, and quickly waved her hand : "Come and help me hold it! Ouch, it's too heavy!"
I trotted over, took the books from Qi Qi's arms and took a casual look at them. They were all books about cooking.
I frowned and asked, "What are you doing? Are you planning to change your career to become a chef?"
Qi Qi was so tired that he didn't even have the energy to roll his eyes. He panted and said, "Can you use your brain? I've been working overtime. The topics selected by the newspaper are so weird recently! Okay, I won't say any more. Give me something hot to eat. I'm starving! Reporter Shen is not here at the newspaper, and I, an intern, am so busy!"
Not here?
"My master is not at the newspaper office. What is he doing?"
She shook her head, wiped the sweat off her forehead and said, "I don't know. I heard from Senior Han Shao that he took a leave. It seems that he took a three-day leave, starting this afternoon. Our team is very busy right now. Reporter Shen's topic just won, but he took a leave. Isn't this a joke on us interns?" Qi Qi was drinking water from the cup, looking really busy.
No wonder he didn’t call today, maybe he had something to do.
I heated up the food for Qi Qi. Actually, Qi Qi prepared it the day before. She was afraid that I would be hungry and have nothing to eat when I got home from school in the afternoon, so she prepared it before going to work. It was really thoughtful. In the newspaper office, besides Shen Yuxi, the person I was most familiar with was Qi Qi. Fortunately, she made me not so scared in the dark night.
Qi Qi had been working overtime for several days in a row. I didn't want to wait at home alone and felt lonely, so I spent time in school. It turned out that the school was so lively at night, with even more people than during the day. In fact, there were more couples, walking hand in hand on the playground.
Such a night, such a scene, suddenly makes me want to have a love affair. Will that way I will have someone to accompany me?
"Dazing off again." A voice suddenly sounded behind me. I was startled and turned around. I saw Shen Yuxi standing in front of me wearing sportswear and a towel around her neck.
Why is he here?
"Master, why are you here?"
He hummed, wiped his sweat, and said, "I moved to a place near here. I will probably come here to run more often in the future." He glanced at the high heels on my feet and whispered, "Starting tomorrow, wear sneakers to school."
I thought that since I was no longer working at the newspaper, I no longer had to obey Shen Yuxi's orders, but over the past few months, I had developed a habit of obeying my teacher's orders. Before I knew what was going on, I was already standing on the track in the playground with Shen Yuxi in my sneakers and sportswear.
It took me a long time to find my voice and questioned, "Master, I'm about to graduate, why do I still need to practice running?"
Shen Yuxi ignored me and pointed to the front and said, "Look at the person in front. She has already run eight laps. Look at her figure."
I was speechless, but didn't know what to say to him. In my daze, I had already run after Shen Yuxi.
I really don’t understand why some people like to run at night. On such a cool night, they should find a place to sit down, enjoy the breeze and listen to music.
Now I'm sweating all over.
I hadn’t exercised for a long time. I was so tired after running more than half a lap and wanted to stop, but Shen Yuxi said, “If you stop now, you will definitely vomit and it will be even worse.”
"Master..." As soon as I opened my mouth, I felt something in my stomach churning up.
Shen Yuxi slowed down and let me adjust my breathing.
I held my stomach and felt a little out of breath.
After running a lap with great difficulty, I sat down on the ground as if I had just been fished out of the water. Shen Yuxi looked at me with disdain, sat down as well, handed me a bottle of water, and even unscrewed the cap considerately. I noticed that many people around me were looking at me.
When I was in school, I participated in many activities because I was lively and active, and was also a student that teachers liked, so many people in the school knew me.
After coming back this time, they probably noticed that I became much quieter, less talkative, and preferred to sit alone. If someone didn’t greet me first, I would even smile reluctantly.
Some people also asked me what was wrong, and I just said it was nothing .
I heard those people say: "Yu Nansheng's boyfriend is so handsome!"
I smiled and pretended to show off: "Master, look, when you take me running, everyone thinks you are my boyfriend!"
Shen Yuxi glanced at those people.
"Yu Nansheng, have you thought about what to do after graduation? You can't stay in school forever." His question left me silent.
"I don't want to go back to the newspaper, and I don't want to do interviews anymore." At least not now.
Once upon a time, journalism was my dream, but my father's death completely shattered this dream. My willfulness killed my father. Until now, every time I pass by that street corner, I can still remember the way my father fell in front of me.
"But you still have a long future ahead of you." Shen Yuxi added, "You are only 20 years old, and you have only reached a small stage in your life. You should know that if you keep running away like this, you will only be trapped in this small stage and unable to move forward. I believe your uncle doesn't want to see you become like this. Yu Nansheng, you have to grow up. There are not only challenges in your future life, but also more beautiful things waiting for you."
Growth will always force you, but for me it is the other way around. Everything is forcing me to grow.
I stared at the tip of my shoe and suddenly said to him, "Master, do you know? You have never praised me, and you have never even thought that I am suitable to be a reporter, but I have been waiting for you to say this. At first, I tried my best to find out the truth of the matter, and then to help those who were suffering to escape from their predicament. But in fact, I have no ability to change anything, and I can't even protect my own family. So, I have been in a very confused state recently. I don't know whether I should still work in the news industry."
Having said that, I suddenly realized that I seemed to become like Lu Shuang.
Did she learn to grow up through these experiences?
That's really painful.
Shen Yuxi didn't respond to my question, but prepared to send me home.
At this time, I saw Qi Qi waving at me while talking on the phone across the street, so I shook my head and said to him, "No need, the newspaper office has been so busy recently, you should go back and have a rest early. Qi Qi is here to pick me up, I have to leave now."
"Yes." Shen Yuxi agreed, and then said, "Believe me, you will find the answer soon."
I looked up at him, and there was tenderness in his amber eyes. I was dazed for a moment.
When crossing the zebra crossing, Shen Yuxi reached out and gently held my fingertips.
I heard the sound of the wind and his voice: "I'll wait for you to come back."
