There is no real winter in City M. Even in winter, the weather in this typical southern city is still as mild as spring.
During the winter vacation, Tian Xin changed from her lively and cheerful personality to become very quiet, and sometimes even sighed. Su Yuemin noticed the changes in his baby daughter, and he was curious but also felt distressed.
"Tianxin, do you have any troubles recently? Tell your daddy about it?" He tried communication therapy.
"Nothing's bothering me, I'm fine." Tian Xin replied perfunctorily, staring at the TV in boredom while lying on the sofa, completely refusing to communicate. No matter how many times Su Yuemin asked, she always answered this way.
Communication therapy failed.
After thinking about it, Su Yuemin decided to take Tianxin out shopping. Girls all love beauty, especially the little princess in his family. So he took a leave of absence and took Tianxin to buy clothes. I thought Tianxin would be very happy, but she still looked listless, as if nothing could arouse her interest.
"Old Li, what's going on with our Tian Xin?" Su Yuemin couldn't help it anymore and called Jiang Siming's father. "She has changed since she came back from school. She doesn't like to talk, doesn't like to buy clothes, and is listless all day. When I asked her, she didn't say anything."
"Did Tianxin fall in love in college?" Father Li speculated. "From the looks of it, it seems like she's been heartbroken. Let me bring Siming to see you guys in a couple of days. I'll let Siming comfort Tianxin and take her out to play and relax."
"Yeah, that's a good idea." Su Yuemin secretly glanced at Tian Xin, who was lying on the sofa eating potato chips without any image, and quickly invited her, "Then you can come in two days!"
Su Yuemin and Li's father had agreed to come to their home for a visit on the weekend, but Tian Xin had no idea about this. When Li's father brought Jiang Siming to the house, Tian Xin was still wearing her extremely casual and even a little ugly home clothes, sitting on the sofa and eating snacks.
"Hey, Lao Li, why are you here? Siming is here too, come in, come in." Su Yuemin opened the door with a happy smile on his face. When two old friends meet, they can't avoid a round of greetings. Jiang Siming behind him greeted Su Yuemin politely, then changed his shoes and entered the door in a proper manner. During the whole process, he didn't even look at Tianxin.
When Tian Xin heard the sound, her hand holding the snacks stopped in mid-air. After two seconds of hesitation, she took out the posture of a 800-meter sprint and immediately ran back to the room.
Why did Jiang Siming come here suddenly?
At this moment, Tian Xin's mind was full of question marks, and she was as nervous as an ant on a hot pot. She opened the closet, took out a new dress, put it on as quickly as possible, and then put on a light nude makeup. She put on makeup not because she still cared about Jiang Siming's gaze, but because she didn't want others to see her sloppy appearance.
Yes, someone else. Jiang Siming was no longer the brother Siming who occupied the most unique position in her heart. He was just a brother from a neighbor's house, just someone else.
"Tianxin, Tianxin, come down quickly, your Uncle Li is here!" Su Yuemin called her downstairs with a gloating look. When she didn't answer, he and Father Li chuckled and whispered, "Look, when she saw Siming coming, she immediately ran upstairs to dress up. You don't know, she has been living like a pig for more than half a month!"
"Children are always more casual at home." Father Li glanced at Jiang Siming who was silent beside him and pretended to scold him, "Sister Tianxin is in a bad mood, and you didn't even think of calling her and taking her out to play."
If it was before, Jiang Siming would definitely explain to his father, but this time, he didn't. He was not a man who was not good at speaking, but at this moment, he just wanted to protest with silence.
Sister Tianxin, sister Tianxin, these four words have been firmly anchoring him since he was a child.
Sister Tianxin is unhappy, go play with her for a while; Sister Tianxin didn’t do well in the exam, go tutor her; Sister Tianxin has no one to accompany her at home on the weekend, go accompany her. The pattern of these sentences has not changed since childhood. As Jiang Siming grew up, he began to get tired of hearing his father say such things, and even began to get tired of Su Tianxin as a person.
Just because his father was Su Yuemin's direct subordinate, did he have to live under Su Tianxin's shadow from childhood? She was always the first priority in everything, and everything had to revolve around her. He was really fed up. He thought he could get away from it all after going to college, but he didn't expect that she would still follow him.
Jiang Siming knew very early on that she liked him.
How could he not know? He couldn't hide his love for someone, just like how he felt about Zhang Qilin. He also knew that if he didn't break free from it sooner, he might be arranged to marry Su Tianxin. This was what he feared the most, not because Tianxin was bad, but because he was tired of living under her shadow.
But this time, he still didn't break free.
This visit to the Su family was not entirely for reminiscing about the past. His father wanted him to intern in the court , and only Su Yuemin could help with this. Internship in the court is a very rare opportunity for law students. Father Li did not want to give up, and Jiang Siming certainly could not give up either.
People are so strange. Even though they are unwilling, they still want to do things that are good for themselves. Sometimes, even he himself can't help but despise himself. Jiang Siming, what do want?
He smiled bitterly in his heart, raised his head, and accidentally met Su Yuemin's eyes. Su Yuemin still had a good uncle's smile, but with a subtle embarrassment. How could it not be awkward? Jiang Siming's attitude was seen by Su Yuemin, and he more or less guessed that there must be something unpleasant between the two.
They are all children, and it is normal to quarrel occasionally. Thinking of this, Su Yuemin coughed twice, and then took the initiative to talk to Mr. Li about arranging Siming's internship next year.
Hearing this, Jiang Siming's heart tightened, and his fists clenched subconsciously. He suddenly felt very guilty towards Su Yuemin. After all, Su Yuemin had been very kind to him since he was a child. The more this guilt spread, the more depressed he felt. When Tian Xin came downstairs to say hello to everyone after she had finished tidying up, his throat tightened and he didn't know what to say.
"Brother Siming, long time no see."
After greeting Mr. Li, Tianxin stood in front of him obediently with a sweet smile, as if all the unpleasant things that had happened at school before had never happened.
"Happy New Year."
After a long pause, Jiang Siming managed to squeeze out these words.
In the evening, Su Yuemin used his best skills to prepare a sumptuous dinner for the three of them, most of which were dishes that Tianxin and Jiang Siming liked. The two adults chatted happily at the dinner table, and did not mention Tianxin's depression during the holidays. Tianxin especially likes this about her father. He always gives her space when she needs it and never embarrasses her in front of outsiders. While eating the delicious dishes that her father worked hard to make for her, she suddenly felt that she had been too willful in the past half month. What is there that can't be overcome? Isn't it just that Zhuang Feize didn't answer her call and disappeared for no reason? When this thought popped up, Tianxin was startled by herself and choked when drinking water.
"Are you OK?"
"Are you okay?" Su Yuemin and Jiang Siming asked in unison.
"It's okay, it's okay!" Tian Xin said quickly, feeling embarrassed by her disheveled appearance.
Jiang Siming handed over the tissue with concern, and Tian Xin thanked him and took it. The two fathers smiled knowingly at each other.
Perhaps it was because Su Yuemin's cooking skills were so good, or perhaps it was because the two old friends hadn't had time to eat together for a long time, so the meal ended very late. As the younger generation, Tian Xin and Jiang Siming certainly didn't sit at the table with the two of them all the time. They each found an excuse and did their own thing.
After finishing his meal, Jiang Siming was busy sending WeChat messages to Zhang Qilin, and even went out to answer a phone call. Tian Xin was eating fruit and watching TV, and was completely indifferent to his actions.
"Dad, I have something urgent to do, so I want to leave first." Jiang Siming, who came back after answering the phone, looked embarrassed and walked hesitantly to Li's father.
"Can't you wait a little longer? What's the matter?" Father Li was obviously unhappy. Su Yuemin saw this and immediately tried to smooth things over: "After the children have finished eating, let them do what they need to do. Let's talk about our own things."
"Hey, Tianxin." Su Yuemin knew that Lao Li wanted him to spend more time with Tianxin, so he turned around and looked at Tianxin, "Go and see brother Siming off."
"Ah?" Tian Xin was stunned. Glancing at the three people who all had their own thoughts, she had no choice but to bite the bullet and say yes.
The two of them left the house one after the other. In fact, both of them knew the intentions of their fathers. They probably saw the awkwardness between them, so they hoped that they could resolve it in person. But...how to resolve it? Just when Tian Xin was struggling with how to break the awkwardness, Jiang Siming spoke first.
"Just send it here, Tianxin." He forced a smile.
Tian Xin blinked her eyes, as if she saw a trace of guilt in this smile. As expected, Jiang Siming continued: "I thought about what happened before and realized that I was too much."
Huh? What do you mean? Is he going to apologize? I never expected Jiang Siming to bow his head first. Tian Xin was stunned and didn't know what to answer.
"You and I grew up together and I am like your biological brother. Qilin is my girlfriend. Although she is doing this for your own good, she was indeed too reckless in her words. I apologize to you on her behalf." Jiang Siming said in a low voice, with a hint of unnaturalness on his face.
Tian Xin has always been soft-hearted. No matter how angry she is, as long as the other party asks for peace, she will let down all her defenses, not to mention that the other party is Jiang Siming. And...she did lie at the beginning, so she should blame herself.
"No, no, no, Brother Siming, I'm wrong." Tian Xin took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to say what was in her heart. "Brother Siming, actually, I know that as we grow up, some things have slowly changed. Now that you have a girlfriend, it's natural for you to distance yourself from me. I didn't understand at first, but later I understood. I can't pester you like before and ask you to treat me the same way as before, right? Besides, if a person treats you very well at first, but later isn't so good to you, then the problem must not be with the other person, but with you. So during this time, I've also been reflecting on my own shortcomings." At this moment, Tian Xin seemed to have turned back into her old self, like a little sun, with a big smiling face.
Hearing these words, Jiang Siming, who was originally apologetic, suddenly froze. He couldn't help but start to wonder, when did this girl who grew up in a honeypot, this girl who made him feel painful every time her father mentioned her, become so sensible?
No, it doesn't seem so.
It seems like Tianxin has never been so willful.
From childhood to adulthood, as long as I am with her, she will be very well behaved. She listens to everything I say, never cries, and doesn't act like other children. She is much more sensible than girls of the same age, but why have I never noticed it?
"Tian Xin." Jiang Siming's eyes were filled with emotions. He originally didn't intend to say these words, but now -
"The one who should really say sorry is me."
"You didn't do anything wrong, never. You relied on me like a brother, but I couldn't treat you as my own sister. In fact, I often subconsciously treated you as a burden and a nuisance. It's not because you are not good, but since you were a child, Dad has asked me to take care of you and accompany you. I simply can't do what I want to do. He just likes to dominate me and manipulate me like this, because he thinks that if I am close enough to you, Uncle Su will treat our family better."
"Ah?" Tian Xin was so shocked by these words that her mouth opened into an "O" shape.
"I don't like being dominated, but I can't do anything about it. Indeed, accompanying you can make me gain more, so I have been doing it. You did nothing wrong, it has always been my problem. Sometimes I really despise myself. Do you know this feeling of powerlessness? I don't know who to talk to."
Jiang Siming was like a deflated ball, with his head hanging down and a bitter smile on his lips. Tian Xin digested the information bit by bit. After a moment of silence, she put away her smile again and said to him, "Thank you, Brother Siming. Thank you for telling me this ."
After watching Jiang Siming get into the taxi, Tian Xin could no longer hold back her weak fake smile and walked towards home in silence. She suddenly felt very tired. Why was she so tired? This is what it felt like to know the truth.
She never expected that brother Siming, who grew up with her, would see her in this way. A bitter smile appeared on her lips, and she suddenly felt that she was ridiculous.
It turned out that I had never been an important person to him, but rather a burden.
A burden that he didn't want to carry but had to carry all the time. This burden even made him start to hate himself.
As for me, I still had a mysterious confidence that Brother Siming would like me. He was nice to me only because he would get benefits from accompanying me.
Yes, he felt wronged, but I was also very sad after hearing this. Thinking of this, Tian Xin's nose suddenly felt sore. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. This feeling was really uncomfortable, like a big stone blocking her chest.
This is how Brother Siming sees himself, so what about Zhuang Fize? Does he also see himself as a burden, a useless annoyance?
She stopped walking subconsciously and couldn't help but let her thoughts run wild.
Originally, she had tried to control her thoughts about this person, but now no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop that handsome face from appearing in her mind.
For some unknown reason, Tian Xin took out her cell phone and opened WeChat.
She hadn't sent him a message for a long time. But now, she really wanted to say something to him, even if he didn't reply. She typed a long paragraph on the screen, but deleted it in the end.
In the end, she only sent one sentence.
"Zhuang Fize, I miss you so much."
Yes, I miss you very much. This time, I didn't lie to myself and really followed the voice in my heart.