Chapter 6 You Will Come Early 1
From the beginning to the end, I have hoped and firmly believed that we will gradually become better, rather than our lives becoming unrecognizable and our future becoming devastated. This is not what we want, but this is what we have encountered.
——Shen Muxi
After the Chinese New Year, I returned to Yangpu District three days early.
I dragged my suitcase back to Qingshui Bay and took the key to open the door in the hallway. The neighbor's grandmother came out wearing a bright red cotton jacket. When she saw me, she greeted me warmly: "Hey, Xiao Shen is back, why didn't you come back with your husband?"
I opened the door and explained to my grandmother with a wry smile: "Grandma, Mr. He is my landlord, we are not husband and wife."
Grandma heard me clearly this time. She grabbed my arm and said in disbelief, "Nonsense! Xiao He has admitted that you are husband and wife. What's wrong? Did you have a fight with Xiao He? One of you came back first and the other came back later, and you didn't even spend the New Year together."
"Is He Yue back?" I asked my grandma.
Grandma nodded and said, "He came back a few days ago. He seemed to be sick. I saw that he ordered takeout these days and he has been at home all the time."
"I understand, grandma, happy new year." I lowered my voice and said goodbye to my grandma.
I hurriedly put down my luggage, walked to He Yue's bedroom door and knocked, but there was no response from inside.
I knocked on the door again and called out, "He Yue, are you in there?"
After a while, I heard the sound of slippers from inside. He Yue opened the door and looked at me tiredly.
There were dense patches of cold sweat on his pale face, his hair was messy and looked like he hadn't washed it for several days, and he was still wearing a wrinkled shirt and hadn't had time to change into pajamas. It seemed that he had been like this for several days.
I hurriedly supported him and walked into the bedroom. He Yue followed me back to the bed, and I asked him to lie down and wanted to get a towel to wipe his sweat.
Just as I turned to leave, He Yue grabbed my wrist and looked at me blankly.
I squatted down and coaxed him like a child, saying, "I'll get a towel to wipe your sweat off. Be good, I'll be back soon."
He Yue heard this and let go.
I ran to the bathroom, got a towel, soaked it in hot water, and ran back to the bedroom to wipe He Yue's face.
His shirt was soaked.
I turned my head to look at the messy fast food boxes and pills on his bedside table, frowned and said, "Why don't you call someone to take care of you? The windows are closed, and the empty fast food boxes are thrown in the room. How can you get better in such an environment?"
As I said this, I stood up, picked up all the garbage on the bedside table and threw it away, then divided all the pills and looked at the instructions on how to take them.
He Yue lay on the bed, staring at me blankly, with a gleam in his eyes.
I stared at He Yue and said, "I'm going to help you take off your shirt, wipe your body, and then boil some water for you to take your medicine. If you can stand up, I'll help you wash your hair, make you some light and warm food, and then go down to bask in the sun."
He Yue didn't say anything, but responded to me with a nod.
I walked to the window, pulled the curtains aside, opened the window a crack, and then came back to unbutton He Yue's shirt. He Yue kept looking at me, which made me feel a little embarrassed. In anger, I threw a towel on his face to cover his eyes.
He Yue grabbed my hand that was unbuttoning my clothes and said in a hoarse voice, "Let me do it."
He took off the towel, propped himself up on the bed, unbuttoned his shirt, took off his shirt, and wiped the sweat off his face with the towel.
I went to boil a pot of hot water and prepared to feed He Yue medicine.
After taking the medicine, He Yue asked me to help him wash his hair.
I took him to the bathroom, asked him to sit down, and started to wash his hair. I washed it very carefully, for fear that the water and foam would accidentally run into his eyes.
He Yue didn't say a word the whole time, and his silence was a little unusual for me.
After I washed He Yue's hair and dried it for him, He Yue insisted on curling up on the sofa and watching me cook. I couldn't persuade him, so I moved the quilt over to cover him and went back to cook.
There was nothing in the refrigerator except a can of Tremella. I cooked a bowl of Tremella porridge and fed it to He Yue bit by bit while sitting on the sofa.
Perhaps because he had regained some strength, He Yue started talking to me.
"It was very windy when I came here. I guess I caught a cold."
"Who told you to come so early?" I complained.
He Yue drank his porridge in silence and suddenly said, "Because you said you would come early."
My heart moved slightly, as if something accidentally touched my heart, and my hand stopped moving. I looked at him in a trance, his eyes were drooping, and his long eyelashes covered his eyes, making it difficult for me to see the emotions in his eyes.
He Yue noticed that I hadn't fed him, and looked up at me. I came to my senses, continued to feed him, and said, "I'll take you out for a walk later. The weather is nice today."
"Okay," he replied.
I suddenly enjoyed this kind of time very much. It was just him and I, we were very close to each other and the atmosphere was very quiet. We didn't have to look at each other, and I felt safe and comfortable enough in my heart.
But I don't know if I'm too greedy. He Yue helps me, maybe because he really likes to listen to my singing. He is sometimes close to me and sometimes far away. I dare not guess what he is thinking.
I was afraid that if I speculated, he would remain silent for a long time like last time.
In relationships, I am a coward - a cowardly and suspicious coward.
Under my care, He Yue's condition gradually improved. School started again, and I called Sunai and Xiao Anning together to find inspiration for original songs with them, but we thought of many themes, but they were all rejected.
It's easy to write a song, but it's really hard to write a song that people will remember forever.
I spent from winter to spring and still didn't finish writing this song.
"Ah! I'm going to collapse!" I lay on the sofa, with a pile of music scores that I had written and then overturned spread out on the floor.
He Yue helped me pick them up one by one and took a general look at them.
I got up, looked at He Yue pitifully, and begged, "Mr. He, senior, big brother, ancestor! Please help me, I really don't have enough brain cells!"
He Yue threw all my waste paper into the trash can and said nonchalantly: "You can't write songs out of thin air. It's best if it's a story you've experienced or that you've felt touched by, otherwise the song you write won't move others. A song with a story is like a movie with a soul, and it's also like a wonderful life. Only such works can move others."
"I understand what you said, but I just can't write it." I knelt on the sofa and looked at He Yue pitifully.
"Please don't look at me like that." He Yue avoided my gaze and said, "How about I go out with you? Maybe you'll get some inspiration if you go out."
"Okay!" I quickly jumped off the sofa and went to change my shoes.
He Yue was helpless, so I went out with him and didn't let him drive. We took buses and subways together, went to supermarkets and parks, saw families of three, elderly couples, young couples, immature children and youthful students, but I still had no inspiration.
I begged He Yue to take me to Happy Valley, and He Yue agreed. On the subway, I suddenly thought, if He Yue played different roles in my life, would it give me different inspirations?
But if you tell him, he will definitely not agree.
So, I acted out my thoughts and cried to He Yue in the crowded subway: "Please don't abort our child, okay?"
He Yue was stunned for a moment. My performance came too suddenly. He stared at me blankly, not understanding what was going on.
The passengers around heard my voice and looked over here. He Yue took a step back reflexively and looked at me like a mental patient.
I continued to squeeze my tears, put one hand on my belly, and said, "Our child is only two months old, can you let him be born safely? Honey, we don't have to rush to get the marriage certificate, I agree with you, but can you keep the child?"
"..." He Yue didn't know how to respond to my words. The passengers all looked at him. He held his breath for a long time before uttering, "Are you sick..."
Very good, that's the answer I wanted.
As soon as He Yue finished saying this, I burst into tears: "Yes, yes, I am sick! You can ignore us mother and child, I gave birth to the child and raised it myself, you just don't want to take this responsibility, I know!"
The people in the car began to talk, pointing at He Yue and looking him up and down.
He Yue was so embarrassed that he pulled me out as soon as the subway arrived at the station. I cried and grabbed his hand, shouting, "You can't be so violent to me, I'm pregnant with your child!"
Now everyone in the subway station looked over here. He Yue was so angry that his face turned blue. He grabbed me tightly and walked towards the exit.
He walks so fast that I have to jog to keep up with him.
When we were almost at the exit, I quickly said, "Dad, slow down, don't walk too fast."
"What do you want to do?" He Yue shook off my hand and questioned me angrily.
I shrugged nonchalantly and said, "I want to try playing different roles with you to see if I can get any inspiration."
“……” He Yue was speechless.
"It seems to be of no use." I scratched my head and said, "There are too many songs about being hurt by love. I don't think they are new enough. How about you accompany me to Happy Valley?" I looked up at He Yue.
He Yue looked at me with disdain, turned and left.
I followed him and asked cheekily, "So what role are you playing now? Teacher? Dad? Grandpa?"
"Are you sick? Is it not okay for me to be the landlord?" He Yue said contemptuously.
I nodded and said, "Yes, I can write a song called "Cockroach Landlord Jingle Bells" then."
"Shen Muxi, I shouldn't have brought you out." He Yue said regretfully.
I didn't care and continued to follow him with a smile. He Yue stopped a car and we went to Happy Valley together.
Happy Valley was packed with people.
I pulled He Yue's arm and said, "Let's go play extreme sports."
"Are you going to write nursery rhymes?" He Yue refused to accompany me.
"Well, let's go. You can only write good things when you are in a good mood, right?" I encouraged He Yue, and he was forced to play some extreme sports with me.
After getting off the bungee, I ran happily in the front, and He Yue walked slowly behind me. I turned around and called him, "Hurry up, the next stop is the haunted house."
He Yue heard this and stopped and said, "I'm not going."
I ran back, looked at He Yue and said, "Are you afraid of ghosts? That's fake."
"Then I won't go either." There was a hint of awkwardness on He Yue's face.
I couldn't help laughing, so I dragged him hard and said, "Then you wait for me at the door, let's go, haha!"
He Yue was so annoyed by me that he reluctantly went to queue up with me.
The line was so long that I had to stand on tiptoe to see the end.
Suddenly, a familiar figure came into my sight and I jumped up to see it clearly.
It’s Suna, she’s also in Happy Valley.
I couldn't help but want to say hello to Suna, but when I raised my hand into the air and the words reached my throat, no sound came out.
Just in front of Suna, a boy turned around and whispered to her. That boy was none other than my ex-boyfriend Qiao Xinyu.
He whispered a few words into Suna's ear, and Suna immediately laughed, then took his arm, being particularly intimate.
My mind was in a mess. I didn't know what was going on. How could Qiao Xinyu and Sunai be together? How could they be so close to each other?
Qiao Xinyu won't set his target on Sunai, right? I thought so, feeling very dissatisfied. I can't let him succeed!
I ran out of the team and wanted to find Qiao Xinyu to argue with him, but as soon as I took a step, He Yue grabbed me.
"What do you want to say by going up there like this?" He Yue understood my thoughts.
I said, "Qiao Xinyu had a relationship with another woman when he was with me, and now he wants to deceive Sunai again!"
He Yue grabbed me and said, "If you go up and expose what Qiao Xinyu said, there will be a crack in the relationship between you and Su Nai. You have also been in love, and you can see what the smile on Su Nai's face means."
I stood there, watching Su Nai and Qiao Xinyu talking and laughing. He Yue beside me pulled me back, and I didn't know what to do.
"Let's go back first to avoid running into them. We'll talk about it when we get back." He Yue took my arm and led me away from the crowd.
I looked back in the direction of Sunai and felt uneasy.
My good mood for the day was ruined because I ran into Qiao Xinyu and Suna together. I originally wanted to come out to find inspiration, but in the end all the inspiration was gone.
When I returned to Qingshui Bay with He Yue, I was very nervous, fearing that Sunai would be hurt.
She knows the reason why I broke up with Qiao Xinyu, so why is she still with him?
He Yue looked at me and advised: "Do you remember what I told you? They are all adults, they have their own choices and should be responsible for their choices. Don't worry about it."
"But Suna is my best friend. I can't just know that Suna is with an unreliable man and not tell her. I'm her friend, I have this obligation," I said.
He Yue said slowly: "I advise you not to get involved in this matter, because the whole thing may be more complicated than you think. Besides, you and Su Nai are best friends, and Qiao Xinyu is your first love. Can't Su Nai see whether he is reliable or not? Do you have to go through fire and water?"
I was speechless. Yes, she knew that Qiao Xinyu had cheated on her, so why did she still stay with him?
Why do I feel that I am the only one who doesn't understand anything in all this?
He Yue comforted him, "Don't think too much, just do your own thing."
Stop thinking about it? But I can't stop thinking about it.
I agreed perfunctorily and locked myself in the bedroom.
Countless possibilities flashed through my mind, but because Sunai is my friend, I don't think she would hide anything from me, so the only thing I could think of was that Qiao Xinyu took the initiative to hook up with Sunai.
I want to ask Qiao Xinyu about this matter!
The next day after school, I called Qiao Xinyu and asked him to go out for coffee at "Friends".
Qiao Xinyu was a little surprised when he received my call and quickly accepted my invitation.
"Friends" not only contains the memories of me, Sunai and Xiao Anning, but also the memories of me and Qiao Xinyu. When we were together, we often sat in the window seat No. 21, and I also chose this seat today.
Qiao Xinyu wore a red sportswear today and wore his hat backwards on his head.
The waiter brought us two glasses of Blue Mountain. I looked at the bright earrings on his ears and asked, "Did you get your earrings pierced again?"
"Ah." Qiao Xinyu touched his earlobe and said, "Yes."
I smiled and asked, "How are you doing lately? How are you doing?"
Qiao Xinyu held the coffee cup in both hands and said, "It's better when you're not here."
I sneered in my heart and said, "I met you in Happy Valley yesterday, and I was wondering if you were in love."
Qiao Xinyu's face changed slightly, and he asked calmly: "You went to Happy Valley yesterday, too, so why didn't you come and say hello when you saw me?"
I shrugged and said, "Yesterday He Yue accompanied me to Happy Valley to help me find inspiration. I saw you on the Ferris wheel, in a hurry, and I thought I saw you wrongly. So why did you go to Happy Valley alone?"
I tried to get Qiao Xinyu to talk a little bit. I wanted to know if he was sincere and if he was willing to admit in front of me that he was with Sunai.
As expected, Qiao Xinyu spread his hands and said with a smile: "My uncle is here, he is busy at work, I took my niece to Happy Valley, the little girl got lost, I was looking for her everywhere."
I smiled at him. Qiao Xinyu saw the smile on my face, slowly restrained his expression, and asked: "Muxi, do you know something?"
"What should I know? You're not going to tell me at all." I mocked him.
Qiao Xinyu understood my intention, shook his head, and said with a smile: "Oh, so you asked me out for coffee because of this."
"Do you think I want to get back together with you?" I know Qiao Xinyu's character.
Qiao Xinyu's expression was a little awkward. He nodded, leaned back in his chair, and said, "Since you saw it, I won't hide it from you. Yes, I'm with your good friend Sunai now."
"When did you get together? How did you trick her into getting you?" I pressed Qiao Xinyu.
Qiao Xinyu laughed so hard that his shoulders twitched, and asked in return, "Why did I have to trick her into getting her? Why couldn't she have come to me on her own?"
"She knows how you treated me and what kind of person you are. How could she possibly come to me on her own accord!" I slammed the table angrily, the coffee cup vibrated on the table, and the coffee spilled out of it.
Seeing my bad attitude, Qiao Xinyu's face darkened: "What kind of person am I? Shen Muxi, you don't know what kind of person I am. Similarly, you don't know what kind of person your good sister is."
"Do I need you to tell me?" I ignored Qiao Xinyu's words, "Stop trying to sow discord. If you have the guts, don't touch the people around me, or I'll make you pay."
"You want to make me look bad? What do you think you can do to me?" Qiao Xinyu looked at me and sneered, his eyes disdainful.
"I'll call Sunai right now and let her know how unworthy of being loved you are!" I was irritated by Qiao Xinyu, so I took out my cell phone and called Sunai.
Qiao Xinyu snatched my phone and slammed it on the table. He leaned over and glared at me, saying, "Shen Muxi, you're an idiot! You're like a fool. What? Are you a messenger of justice who wants to stand up for your good sister? Don't you want to see if your good sister needs you to stand up for her? How can you be so naive!"
I stood up, splashed the coffee on Qiao Xinyu's face, and said angrily: "Qiao Xinyu, you can hurt me, but I will never let you hurt Sunai! I don't care whether she needs it or not, as long as she is hurt in the slightest, I will not let you go!"
After saying that, I snatched my phone and walked out, my chest heaving with anger.
Qiao Xinyu yelled behind me, "Shen Muxi, you only know how to question me. Have you ever questioned your good sisters? One day you will regret it!"
I ignored Qiao Xinyu's words and the customers' looks. I walked out, breathing in the outside air, gasping for air.
I suddenly remembered that last year Xiao Anning also quarreled with us here and left angrily, but now it’s me.
I felt so upset. I might not believe what Qiao Xinyu said, but everything he said was circling in my mind.
I can't think too much, I force myself not to think too much.
Because I feel that the whole world can deceive me, but Sunai will never deceive me.
I took a deep breath and forced myself not to cry. I looked up at the sky, but tears suddenly fell from the corners of my eyes.
It is spring time, but I feel the cold wind biting my bones.
When I returned to Clearwater, I was in low spirits.
I no longer had the energy to write songs. Li Chuan called me, but I didn’t dare answer. I would sometimes be distracted in class and the teacher would often call on me to answer questions, but I didn’t know what to do.
One night, He Yue took the initiative to cook dinner for me. I finished it with a tasteless mouth, stood up and said, "I'll go wash the dishes."
After saying that, I put away the dishes and walked to the kitchen in my slippers.
I heard the sound of He Yue opening and closing the door behind me, but I didn't pay attention.
Suddenly, a string sound rang out in the living room. My eyes lit up and I turned to look over.
He Yue sat on the sofa holding a guitar and tuning the strings.
"Just wash the dishes and don't worry about me." He Yue said to me.
My eyes darkened and I continued washing the dishes.
He Yue was in the living room, plucking the strings of the guitar from time to time, then clearing his throat, and began to play chords, humming some tunes I had never heard of.
I ignored him and just thought he was playing.
He Yue was singing slowly behind me. Suddenly, one of his tunes caught my attention. I quickly put down the bowl, ran over with my foamy gloves on and asked, "Wait, what was that you just sang?"
He Yue sang another line while playing the guitar.
I quickly took off my gloves, found a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote down the melody.
"Is this original?" I asked He Yue.
He Yue nodded and said, "I just hummed it casually."
I picked up the paper with the melody written on it and paced slowly in the living room, holding the pen in my hand and tapping my head again and again.
It was just eight short notes, but it suddenly gave me a burst of inspiration. I hummed a tune along with the eight notes, and soon, a complete chorus came out of my mouth. I looked back at He Yue in surprise, and He Yue said, "Write it down."
"Hmm!" I lay on the table and wrote down the tune I had just hummed, then held the paper and sang it steadily to He Yue.
He Yue smiled and said, "Sure!"
Hearing He Yue's affirmation, I was immediately excited. I jumped up and couldn't help but rush to He Yue, thanking him loudly: "Great! He Yue, you are my lucky god!"
He Yue didn't expect me to do this, and was caught off guard by me and fell on the sofa. I hurriedly apologized and climbed up from him.
He Yue sat down steadily and I squatted in front of him. Both of us felt a little awkward.
"I...I'll record the chorus and send it to Lichuan first." I said.
"Go ahead." He Yue nodded slightly.
I stood up and walked towards the bedroom. When I reached the door, I looked back at He Yue. He stood up, put his hands in his pockets, and when he saw me looking at him, he looked away, hesitating about where to go.
I turned and went into the bedroom and closed the door.
I recorded a demo and sent it to Li Chuan by email. Li Chuan replied to me half an hour later and asked me to go to Mo Kon Records the next day.
The next morning after class, I took a taxi to Konjac Records.
Li Chuan was having lunch in the company cafeteria and asked me to go and have dinner with him.
When I followed Li Chuan to the cafeteria, I found that many staff members were very respectful to him and bowed respectfully to greet him. Li Chuan nodded in response to them, and was serious.
I know that Li Chuan is a very responsible and serious person in the company, so I didn't interact with him in a private way.
