I'm not asking you to be a superhero and save the world.
I don't ask you to be a righteous policeman and eliminate all injustices.
I just hope that you don't become the invisible knife that hurts people.

After New Year’s Day, the New Year is very close, and the final exams and winter vacation are getting closer.
My goal when I came to college was to study hard, and my first final exam result was pretty good, ranking among the top. Shi Shuxia's result was a little beyond my expectations, she was average, and I always thought she would do better than me, but in the end she was ranked in the middle, neither higher nor lower.
After the results were announced, it was winter vacation. I discussed it with Sister Su and she agreed to clean up the storage room and put a simple small bed for me to live in.
My father called me many times and asked me how I planned to spend the New Year. If I didn’t want to go back to my uncle’s house, I could go to his place. He would try his best not to disturb my life and let me spend the New Year happily.
He is always , which makes me feel a little sad, but the thorn in my heart cannot be removed so easily.
In fact, my uncle also called me several times to ask me when I would go back for the New Year. Everything at home was ready and they were waiting for me. I kept putting it off, and finally when Sister Su told me that the coffee shop was about to close for the holiday, I couldn't put it off any longer.
In the end, we naturally decided to go to my uncle's house, after all, my grandmother was there. Her health has been getting worse over the past two years, and no one knows how many more years she can spend with us.
Before going to my uncle's house, I went to the man's house carrying a bag of nutritional supplements that were not expensive. After all, he was my creditor.
He once gave me the address, but I never went there.
Fifth floor, 502.
This was also my house’s previous address.
After knocking on the door once, twice, and three times, a woman inside the door responded loudly: "Coming!"
"Who are you?" An exquisite woman in a white apron opened the door. She looked to be in her thirties or forties. Seeing that I was holding something, she smiled knowingly and said, "You are here to give our old man a New Year's gift, right? He is not at home now. Do you want to come in and sit for a while?"
"Our Lao Cun? Who are you?" I stared at the woman in front of me with all my thorns erect, like a hedgehog guarding his things, not allowing anyone to get close to him.
"Little girl, you are really interesting. This is my home, so of course I am the hostess here." The woman was a little unhappy.
"Is this your home?" I checked the address on my phone again. The place was correct and the male owner's surname was also Cun.
"Little girl, what's with your attitude?" The woman's smile froze on her face, and her words were a little fierce. "Didn't your parents tell you to be polite when you go to someone else's house?"
"My parents?" I took out my cell phone and called the man. After the call was connected, before he could say anything, I coldly asked, "Is this woman your New Year's gift to me? It turns out that your words of asking me to have a happy New Year were just hypocritical and polite. You never thought that I would knock on your door, did you?"
On the other end of the phone, the man was anxious: "Weiwei, where are you now?"
"Where can I be, at your doorstep, listening to your new wife scolding me for having no manners. Yes, I have no manners, because I am orphaned, right?" Tears welled up in my eyes as I spoke. It's not that I hadn't thought about him having a new family. In this woman's eyes, he was a good-looking man with a successful career. What saddened me was that he lied to me again, and the so-called New Year's Eve with him was just a polite remark.
How cold-blooded must a man be to say such words to his own daughter.
"Weiwei, go in and sit down first. I'll be back soon. Please listen to my explanation. You must wait until I come back to listen to my explanation."
"Cun Jiyuan, you really gave me a big surprise!" After hanging up the phone, I threw the things in my hand next to the garbage bag at the door. "I don't think such a cheap gift is needed by a wealthy family like yours. Tell Cun Jiyuan not to look for me again in the future. We have nothing to do with each other anymore."
Since I started the call, the woman's face has been turning blue and purple like a palette. When she saw me hanging up and leaving, she chased me out in her socks, grabbed my arm, and asked me like a wife interrogating a mistress: "Who are you? Are you the college student that Lao Cun is keeping outside?"
"Let go." I turned around and looked at the woman coldly.
A college student being kept? Was it Cun Jiyuan who surprised me more? Or was this woman too imaginative? Or maybe the college student being kept was me.
Thinking of this, I wanted to tease this woman, so I broke free from her hand and smiled at her: "That's right, I am the college student supported by Cun Jiyuan. What should I do? He told me to wait for him here and he would come back to explain to me soon. If I were you, I would let go of his hand quickly for the sake of face. What if the three of us stand together and he only helps me in front of the neighbors, you will have no face at all."
"You..." Her hand loosened.
I took the opportunity to break free. The elevator happened to stop on this floor and opened the door. I walked in, turned around, smiled at the woman again, and slowly closed the elevator door.
Tears burst out as the elevator door closed, and I squatted in the corner of the elevator, crying silently.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1, when the elevator stopped, I stood up, wiped the tears from my face with my sleeve, and walked out like nothing had happened. In the eyes of the security guards, I was probably just a girl who came to give gifts and went home quickly after giving them, and they wouldn't even give me a second glance.
Walking down the street, it was drizzling, and I just realized that my umbrella had been thrown into the garbage along with the package of nutrition products. I wrapped myself in some light clothes and walked down the street.
The city is filled with the New Year atmosphere, and Andy Lau's "Gong Xi Fa Cai" echoes in the streets and alleys.
In the past, Cun Jiyuan liked Andy Lau very much, and always liked to use a thermos cup as a microphone to sing: "The cold icy rain hits my face randomly, and the warm tears mix with the cold rain."
The cold winter rain hit my face randomly, and my tears were cold, not warm.
An umbrella covered my head. I looked up. Yan Wenbo's face was glowing softly under the dim streetlight. He pursed his lips, and the lines on his face showed determination. When I looked up again and saw his eyes, my heart ached. It turned out that my self-torture was so obvious in his eyes.
"I'm sorry..." I lowered my head and stammered, not knowing why I should apologize to him.
"Why are you saying sorry?" He stuffed the umbrella into my hand, took off his coat and put it on me. I wanted to refuse, but he held my shoulders tightly, not allowing me to refuse. "You are wearing so little to begin with, you must be very cold now that you are soaked. Wear mine first."
"So what do you do?" I asked.
"I have this," he patted his chest, "You know, there is a kind of cold in this world that makes your mother think you are cold. When I go out, I am forced to wear a down vest inside. It is so tacky but I dare not not wear it. By the way, why are you here? When I first went out, I saw a figure that looked like you, and I thought I was seeing things."
"I...I..." I didn't know how to explain to him what happened between Cun Jiyuan and me. After thinking for a while, I could only say, "The sponsor who sponsored me to go to college lives here. I came to give him a New Year's gift."
"Is that so?" He looked at me and said reproachfully, "Don't send gifts so late next time. Where do you live? I'll take you back."
"No, my house is too far away. You must have something to do so late at night. I can just take the bus."
After I reminded him, Yan Wenbo slapped his forehead and remembered what his mother had asked him to do. He said to me with some guilt: "I really can't take you home. I'll call a car for you. You can take the car back. It's so late and so cold. I don't feel comfortable taking the bus."
I didn't refuse, and I knew I couldn't refuse at all, so I nodded and said, "Thank you."
Thank you for holding the umbrella for me and thank you for giving me warmth.
Yan Wenbo looked like he couldn't stand my mushy behavior and shook his body: "Cun Zhiwei, I'm used to you being a little wilder. You being so delicate is really unbearable."
"Get out!" I cursed.
"Ha, this is the correct way to open Cun Zhiwei." He was like a masochist, and smiled contentedly after I scolded him.
The car came quickly, and after Yan Wenbo saw me off to the car, he stuffed the umbrella into my hand. As the driver pushed me back and forth, he became very impatient, so I had no choice but to accept the umbrella.
He rolled down the window and looked back, with his hands on his head, running towards the distance in the rain.
When the driver reminded me to close the window, he sighed: "Young people nowadays will do anything for love. I envy you young people so much."
"We are not..." After thinking about it, I didn't say the rebuttal. I stroked the edge of the umbrella and my fingertips seemed warm.
When I got home in the evening, Cun Jiyuan called me several times, and finally all the calls came to my grandmother's cell phone, and I picked up the phone.
He said that the woman was his ex-girlfriend and they had broken up, but she had never handed over the keys to the house, and he was too busy at work to change the locks. The holidays were coming up, and the woman wanted to come and do some housework, and then cook a meal to warm up, and maybe the two of them would reconcile, but I bumped into her.
I asked him, so what?
He said that when he first came to see me, he had decided to draw a clear line between himself and the women around him, and unless one day I could accept him getting married, he would never get married again in his life.
Finally, seeing that I had no interest in continuing the conversation, he said to me, "The things you bought are delicious. After eating them, my stomach felt warm, and I felt that my stomach problems that had plagued me for years were cured."
I said "Oh" and hung up the phone.
He is a person with mild mysophobia. He will repeatedly pick up things that fall on the ground, not to mention things that fall into the garbage dump.
After hanging up the phone, grandma patted my shoulder and said, "There is no overnight hatred between father and daughter."
I held her in my arms, speechless for a long time.
The next day Yan Wenbo caught a cold. He sent me a photo of himself holding a thermometer in his mouth, wailing for me to be responsible for him.
At that time, I was called out by my aunt to help. When I came back, the messages he sent had filled up the entire screen.
"Cun Zhiwei, you have to be responsible for me."
"Cun Zhiwei, you're not afraid of this, are you?"
"I was just saying it casually. Is it so difficult to comfort a sick person with a reply?"
"Okay, okay, you're not really going to transfer some money to me, are you wondering how much? If it's 5.20, I can still accept it with some difficulty."
"You can't be so stingy as not to give me five dollars."
"Are you angry?"
"Cun Zhiwei, are you really angry?"
"Xiao Weiwei, if you reply to me, I will buy you some candy!"
"Weiwei, don't scare me. I just asked you to take responsibility. I didn't really ask you to do anything."
…
Looking at this series of messages, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. What a complicated mental journey this was. I replied to him: "I just went to help with the cooking."
"Cun Zhiwei, I've thought about it, you still have to be responsible for me."
He brought the topic back again, and I seemed to be able to foresee what the next series of messages would be like. Thinking of him sending messages with a thermometer in his mouth, I couldn't help but curl the corners of my mouth.
As time goes by, I gradually understand how difficult it is to have someone who can make you smile.
The new semester begins soon after the New Year.
At the class meeting on the first day of school, the teacher announced the application criteria for various scholarships at the school and explained that if anyone wanted to apply, they could ask him for the application form, but the number of places was limited and the specific application would have to be determined by the school.
I was once again pushed to the forefront because of this scholarship evaluation.
Originally, not many people knew that I applied for a scholarship. One morning, on the blackboard in the classroom, something childish like an elementary school student was written: Cun Zhiwei, you are relying on your good academic performance to grab the quota for poor students, don’t you feel ashamed?
When Shi Shuxia and I walked into the classroom, everyone stared at us. I wanted to explain, but I didn't know how to tell them how poor my family was? How I was living under someone else's roof? How hard I worked?
Everyone can play the victim, but the prerequisite for playing the victim is that people around you are willing to believe you and look at you more.
"Who did this?" Shi Shuxia shouted at the people below, then she ran to the blackboard and erased the words on it.
Words can be erased, but can the words left in everyone’s heart be erased?
This sentence became the fuse, and rumors about me in the class emerged one after another. Everyone began to dig deep into my past, including those things that happened not long ago.
"Have you seen Cun Zhiwei's pair of shoes? They cost thousands of dollars a pair in the mall!"
It was given to me by Cun Jiyuan after the Spring Festival. My grandmother told me to accept it, so I accepted it.
"Did you see Cun Zhiwei's father's car last time? Wow, it's super expensive."
"I heard that Cun Zhiwei's father lives in a villa by the river. That's the most expensive property in our city. I heard that you can't buy it even if you have money."
The half-truths about how rich Cun Zhiwei's father was, how he drove a luxury car and lived in the most expensive property in the city were more convincing. In the end, it was said that Cun Jiyuan had become the CFO of a company, drove a Cayenne, lived in a villa by the river, had mistresses everywhere, and was a well-known figure in the city.
They don't think about the truth of the matter, they only care about how to step on someone.
The rumors became more and more exaggerated, and the dissatisfaction of people around me towards me grew higher and higher. In the end, the teacher had to call me to the office for a talk.
When I arrived at the office, Ji Suting was also there, talking to the teacher, and his words were a little excited. I knocked on the door and went in. They stopped talking, and the teacher asked Ji Suting to leave first. When I walked over and passed by him, I could feel his eyes lingering on me for a short time, but I could only pretend that I didn't see anything.
The teacher didn't beat around the bush and said directly: "Cun Zhiwei, I want you to give me an explanation for what happened in the class recently."
"I admit that my father is very rich. He has luxury cars and expensive houses." I took a deep breath, looked up at the teacher with a suspicious face, and finished the next sentence, "My parents divorced a few years ago, and I lived with my mother. My mother died when I was in high school, and I became a child kicked around by relatives. In the end, my grandmother threatened to die, and my uncle and aunt were willing to take me in and support me to finish high school. During this period, my biological father never showed up. After graduating from high school, I was admitted to University A. During the summer vacation, I worked , but still did not earn enough tuition and living expenses. In the end, I had no choice but to ask my father to help me pay for it. And I need to pay this money back bit by bit."
"Actually, Ji Suting told me a little about your situation just now. Last semester, you worked part-time except for the days when you were in class. Look at those students in the class who have good family conditions and no worries about food and drink. How many of them can really endure that kind of hard work?" The teacher sighed, "I believe in you. I will help you submit the application for the poverty scholarship first. I will also report your situation to the school. The specific details still depend on the school's handling. You should also be mentally prepared."
"Okay, I understand. Thank you, teacher." After exchanging a few more polite words with the teacher, I said goodbye and left.
When I walked out of the office, Shi Shuxia was already waiting there. When she saw me coming out, she came up to me and asked with some concern, "The teacher didn't say anything about your application for the scholarship, did he?"
"It's nothing. They just asked me to go back and wait for news, saying that everything depends on the school's decision." In order not to make her worry, I simply repeated to her what the teacher said.
"Does that mean the application has been submitted?" She said happily, grabbing my arm. Then, as if she suddenly remembered something, she winked at me for a while and said, "Tell me, did Ji Suting say something good to you? I saw him coming out of the office just now."
"You're overthinking it. He just came to talk to the teacher about something, and we just happened to bump into each other." There are some things that cannot be mentioned even to the best of friends.
Sometimes I always feel that human beings are very hypocritical creatures. On the surface, they say that we are the best and we are the closest, but in fact, there are always some things that are buried deep in their hearts.
I still had to work in the coffee shop in the afternoon. After finishing lunch with Shi Shuxia in the midst of talking and chatting, she went back to the dormitory and I went to the coffee shop alone.
When I arrived, Yan Wenbo was sitting by the window. The gauze curtains were blown by the wind and brushed against his face. Then... they were caught by his rough hair and kept floating there. Maybe it brushed against his nose, so he sneezed. He rubbed his nose and pulled open the curtains unhappily.
In the bright light, he half-squinted his eyes and looked up in the direction of the bar. The light outlined his well-defined profile, and his long and thick eyelashes cast a shadow on his face.
"Sister Wei, you're here." Xiao Chen called my name excitedly. Now that I'm here, she can go home from get off work.
I smiled and nodded at her, pretending not to see Yan Wenbo, and went straight to the storage room to change into work clothes and come out to hand over the shift to Xiao Chen.
It was not until the shift change was over and Xiao Chen left that Yan Wenbo walked to the bar and sat down. He leaned over the counter and raised his eyebrows and asked, "Are you going to pretend that you can't see me?"
"Hey, Yan Wenbo, when did you come?" Since he was pretending not to see, he still had to put on a good show, "Would you like something to drink? The coffee in our shop is very good and well-known far and wide."
"You please?" he asked.
"I don't have money." I refused flatly.
"Cun Zhiwei, you are so stingy. Have you forgotten that you are still responsible for me?" He began to criticize me like an old lady. "During the winter vacation, you said you were busy and didn't reply to my messages or take the initiative to contact me. It's been a few days since school started. I sent you ten messages and you replied to one. Aren't you a bit ungrateful for doing this? Do you remember who risked catching a cold on a rainy day to give you his coat and umbrella? Do you know how long my mother scolded me when I got home? Do you know how terrible my mother is when she nags?"
I nodded vigorously: "I know, I know, I can tell by looking at you."
"Cun Zhiwei! Do you want to be beaten?" He realized that I was laughing at him, and slapped me on the forehead with his hand. "I don't care, you have to be responsible for me, otherwise I will follow you every day from now on, wherever you go I will follow you."
"Yan Wenbo, are you still a child?" I said helplessly.
"Yes, I'm only three years old, so sister, don't lie to me just because I'm young. I will hold a grudge." He pretended to speak in a baby voice and acted cute.
I was stunned, and Sister Su, who had just walked out of the kitchen, was also stunned.
Sister Su shook off her goosebumps and asked me, "Zhiwei, is this your boyfriend?"
"Sister Su, how could I possibly like a three-year-old kid? I'm an adult." We exchanged glances and laughed at the same time, making Yan Wenbo so angry that his face turned pale and he rolled his eyes several times.
I am grateful for the appearance of Yan Wenbo, just like that rainy evening, because of his funny and humorous performance, I gradually forgot all the unpleasantness brought about by the scholarship in school.
I've been suppressed for too long, and I feel particularly relaxed after such a good laugh.
While Yan Wenbo and I were chatting, Ren Xiaoqi pushed the door open.
We met several times after the Shi Shuxia incident, and each time we parted on bad terms. Gradually, I started to hide when I saw her from a distance, and she appeared less and less often.
This is the first time in such a long time that she has appeared in my sight so openly.
She dyed her hair back to black and had it permed, so that it was shoulder-length. She walked into the store wearing a well-cut white dress and rhinestone-studded high heels, put her coat on the back of a chair, and sat down gently, her movements extremely graceful.
Yan Wenbo followed my gaze and looked back, and when he saw her, his jaw almost dropped to the ground.
"Hello, order."
Just as I was about to step forward, I was stopped by Yan Wenbo. He threw a coquettish glance at Sister Su and said, "Beautiful boss, if I order this well, can you hire me to work in your store? For free."
"Free handsome guy, of course." Sister Su agreed and went back to the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes at Yan Wenbo in annoyance, wondering what outrageous thing he was planning to do next.
I was more concerned about Ren Xiaoqi. I was used to her outspokenness, so I felt a little uncomfortable seeing her suddenly become like this. I also began to wonder if something had happened to her, or if she had finally figured it out and wanted to change.
Ren Xiaoqi ordered a caramel macchiato and sat there, looking at me with her head tilted to her side without saying a word. She stirred the coffee in front of her with a spoon, but she didn't drink it.
When paying the bill, she walked to the bar and asked me, "Cun Zhiwei, can you smile at everyone but not at me?"
"Xiaoqi, don't be so persistent." I said.
"I understand." She put the money for the coffee on the table, turned around and walked a few steps, then turned back and gave me a weird smile, "I won't let you leave me."
Her smile scares me from the bottom of my heart, afraid that she will do something that will hurt others and herself.
Yan Wenbo poked me and said mockingly, "What? Are you really scared? Tsk, why are you so timid? It seems you still need me to protect you from now on!"
"Who needs your protection?" I rolled my eyes.
I said I didn't need his protection, but in the end he still sent me back to school.
Yan Wenbo proved to me with facts that "beauty" is not only useful for men, but also quite useful for women.
He helped out in the store the whole afternoon, and charmed the young women who came to the store to drink coffee. Even Sister Su couldn't help but give him a thumbs up. So when he said he wanted to stay in the store to work, Sister Su agreed readily.
We walked in the dark, and I was still frightened by Ren Xiaoqi's smile when she left. Yan Wenbo was beside me, like a stand-up comedian, talking non-stop about a world I had never come into contact with, a world of feasting and revelry, of decadence and extravagance.
I listened carefully and responded when he asked me a question. He smiled and continued talking.
I like this state, when two people walk side by side, their hearts will not be drowned in endless darkness, nor will they get colder as they walk. Instead, they will feel a little warm.
When I turned to look at Yan Wenbo, he was looking at me. Seeing that I was looking at him, he asked narcissistically, "Are you in love with me?"
"You think too much." I replied mercilessly.
He pouted and continued to tell the story he hadn't finished. Where was he? When he was ten, he climbed a tree to take out a bird's nest and fell down. He was hospitalized for a week. When he was fifteen, he pretended to be mature and wanted to smoke. As a result, his parents suddenly came in. He was choked and tears and snot flowed. He accidentally threw the cigarette butt in his hand onto the sheets that his mother had just washed, and it almost caused a fire? He was thrown on the sofa by his father and spanked on his buttocks for an unknown number of times. He would grimace in pain when he sat down for a long time.
The relaxed and burden-free interaction makes me feel that it is great to be alive.
Although the road is long and there is no end in sight, I believe that as long as we live optimistically, we will be able to see the sunshine at dawn one day!