Chapter 6: Practicing Alone Xiang Qianlan04
The weather is getting colder.
The quilt and clothes I brought were not enough, but I didn't dare go home to get them, for fear that my mother would see the wounds on my face. When my mother called me, she didn't ask about my studies, but only asked me to have a relationship.
She said Qi Beichen was a good guy. Before going to college, I told her that Qi Beichen and I had broken up and my mother hoped that I would get him back together. I responded with a few words and hung up the phone.
Big clouds floated in the darkening sky.
I looked at myself in the mirror. The bandages had been removed at the hospital. Pink new flesh was growing on my skin, like a worm crawling on it. The wound was a little deep and looked rather hideous.
How ugly, I thought.
Because of the injury, I rested for a while, missed the audition for "Butterfly Kissed Youth", and didn't go to school for a long time.
In the quiet room, I saw the three words "Sun Nuofan" flashing on the mobile phone screen, and I pressed the hang-up button.
It rang again and I turned it off again.
“Boom boom boom—”
There was a knock on the door, and I hurried to the door. I saw Qi Beichen standing outside through the peephole. I hesitated and opened the door. There was a big bag at his feet.
"What are you looking at? " He put his hand in front of my eyes and waved it, then took the bag at his feet and carried it into my room. I blocked the door and prevented him from entering. He looked at me strangely, "What's wrong? Is there someone hiding in there?"
"What is it?" I looked at the bag in his hand.
"The supermarket was having a sale, so I bought you some bedding. You've seldom gone out since you injured your face, and I thought you might need them, so I brought them to you," he said.
"Thank you," I said.
"What's wrong with you?" He pushed his way through me and walked in. "Xiang Qianlan, I feel like you've become weird since your face got hurt. Are you scared?"
I said, “What’s wrong with me?”
"I'm on guard against everything ." Qi Beichen put the bag next to the sofa and went to the kitchen to drink some water. When he came out, he looked at my face and asked, "Will this scar disappear?"
"I don't know." I walked towards the living room with heavy steps. This place was rented for me by Sun Nuofan through his secretary. I insisted on paying half of the rent every month. I have lived here for so long and have hardly ever returned to the dormitory.
"How's the drama going? Has it started filming?" Qi Beichen came over and asked.
"I didn't ask." I said casually.
After a long while, Qi Beichen said, "Let's go for a walk. It's not a good idea for you to stay at home every day."
We walked side by side on the street. I glanced at his profile and found that he was looking at me. Then he held my hand and said seriously, word by word: "Xiang Qianlan, I have always wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend and start over."
The leaves above my head rustled in the wind.
I couldn't push him away. In fact, I became extremely fragile during this period of time when I was injured. He put my hand tightly on his chest and spoke sweet words into my ears: "I know you misunderstood me before. I will change and learn to change. No matter what happens in the future, I will respect you and not force you. I won't do anything you don't like. You don't need to suppress your emotions all the time. If you are angry, just say it. If you want to curse, just curse. If you want to cry, just cry. You are obviously bearing a lot but you don't say anything. It only makes me feel powerless. Xiang Qianlan, I want to protect you from the wind and rain and be your support."
I didn't move at all and didn't know what expression to use to face him.
"Be my girlfriend." His voice was very gentle, and he held my hand tightly, as if to ignite my body. "I will give you a sense of security, I will protect you and love you, I love you, Xiang Qianlan, I love you, do you know? When you didn't believe that I loved you, I fell in love with you."
His words turned my thoughts upside down. I turned my head away and said nothing.
Qi Beichen pulled me towards his chest. At that moment, I saw another man with a smile on his lips standing not far away, looking at us with a half-smile.
I pushed Qi Beichen away reflexively.
Maybe it's true. I have no sense of security. I defend the castle in my heart, knowing that it cannot be occupied by anyone. I erect defensive spikes and am determined not to let anyone pull them out.
How can a hedgehog survive without its thorns?
Qi Beichen was right, I have changed. I can no longer see my own heart clearly. I have become fragile, and that annoying fragility makes me suffer.
I covered my face and slowly squatted down. My stomach felt very uncomfortable. What a coincidence, Qi Beichen and I both had stomachache.
Qi Beichen was very flustered when he saw that I was uncomfortable: "I don't care about your current appearance, I will take care of you, Xiang Qianlan, promise me, promise me."
I gritted my teeth and finally the pain in my stomach subsided. I stood up and looked into the distance. Qi Beichen followed my gaze and saw the figure in a casual suit.
The person on the other side slowly walked towards us until he came in front of me and asked me: "Is he your boyfriend?"
I shook my head.
He laughed: "Too naive, Lanlan, turn your head and look at me."
I seemed to be bewitched by his gentle voice. Looking at his face, Sun Nuofan grinned and said, "Tell him that you rejected him because you like me a little bit?"
My mind went blank.
I never heard the rest of the conversation. Is this the reason? I like Sun Nuofan, is that right?
My head was buzzing, and after a long while I finally said, "Sun Nuofan, stop talking nonsense."
"Did I get it right?" He smiled.
Qi Beichen smiled and said, "Sorry to bother you. It seems I should leave now."
After saying that, he left without looking back.
After Qi Beichen left, Sun Nuofan smiled brightly. He said unhappily, "Are you angry?"
"We were in a relationship and broke up," I said.
"Really?" He looked unconvinced.
"Yes," I said, "he proposed it."
"Then I am not considered to have stolen your love?" Sun Nuofan stared at me and said, "Now that you can't film the drama, I want to know, do you want to become famous in the fastest way?"
"Is it an unspoken rule?"
He shook his head: "Scandals are scary. Every woman who has had a scandal with me has become famous. Miss Xiang, do you want to give it a try?" He was like a hunter who had finally thrown out the bait.
He said calmly: "You are destined to be extraordinary. So what if you have a scar? I will still make you famous."
"Have you figured out what you want, Miss?" he stressed, "Or has something made you lose confidence?"
I said, "I know what I want." Xiang Qianlan is still the same Xiang Qianlan.
Under the narrow sky of Tongluo Lane, that dim room holds my concern. Since I was a child, I have silently sworn in my heart that I would give her a good life. I have not forgotten my dream.
A tacky and stubborn dream.
I figured it out overnight, and became the "top topic" on campus overnight.
It's funny that I once agreed to date Qi Beichen because of the conditions he proposed. Now, for my own purposes, I have once again become Sun Nuofan's "rumored girlfriend."
Not once was it pure, I am destined not to be worthy of pure love.
Sun Nuofan announced my identity, and at the same time, Zhong Yuer's tricks were exposed. Zhong Yuer had always said in front of the media that Sun Nuofan and she had an unusual relationship , but now it was like slapping herself in the face.
Sun Nuofan took me to various parties in a high-profile manner. There were cameras constantly pointing at me in the dark. At the same time, some news also swept in.
——The romantic director falls in love with the innocent female college student.
——Stolen love? Actress Zhong Yuer’s status as the “official girlfriend” was taken away!
There were all kinds of messy reports everywhere. Hongdou found my rental place with the newspaper and angrily asked me, "Xiao Lan, are these true? Are you dating that guy?"
I agreed with what was written in the newspaper. Hongdou looked at me with disappointment, scolded me for being a vain woman, and left angrily.
I didn't show up, so Sun Nuofan sent someone to help me move my belongings from the dormitory to the rental house. For a while, a group of reporters surrounded the downstairs of my rental house, and I didn't dare to go downstairs at all.
That day, I was wondering what to do when someone knocked on the window. I saw Qi Beichen appear on the balcony. He motioned me to come over. I tidied up quickly and found that he had climbed up from the balcony of the opposite building.
"Are you satisfied with the situation now?" Qi Beichen took me and secretly left the rental house along the original route.
We went around to the outside of the community, and Sun Nuofan was already waiting for me outside. When he saw Qi Beichen, he whistled: "It seems that someone got there first."
"Xiang Qianlan, are you sure you won't regret doing this?" Qi Beichen asked me with red eyes, grabbing my arm, "It's not too late to turn back now."
“I never regret it,” I said.
Amid Qi Beichen's grief-stricken gaze, I got into Sun Nuofan's car and drove away. I didn't look at Qi Beichen's face. I told myself that there was no turning back.
I know what I gave up, Qi Beichen, our paths are destined to be different. I know how useless love is, and I will never regard it as a stumbling block.
Love is a necessity in your life, and only yours.
You said I was so willful. Yes, I am very willful.
You are not my god, I will not convert for you. I once had a good impression of you, but now I have to use up all my good impressions on you and give up completely.
I am alone, walking towards the darkness alone, and walking towards the dawn alone.
