When Wei Zhiyuan left Lao Xiong, the lights were already on.

He walked along the quiet and deserted road to the bus stop he came from. The sparse street lights made his shadow very long. A gust of wind blew away the thin clouds, revealing a sky full of stars. The vast universe was in full view, and the world seemed even more silent.

Since the temple is a tourist attraction, it no longer sells tickets after 4:30 p.m. and the reception hours are limited. So in order to save resources, after 5:30 p.m. every day, the last few buses to the city will run every 45 minutes.

At the lonely bus stop, Wei Zhiyuan was the only one leaning against the pillar of the station, waiting for the bus with his head lowered.

Perhaps some places are indeed suitable for thinking, such as the prison to Weil's Riemann hypothesis, and the big Bodhi tree to Sakyamuni's Buddha. In Lao Xiong's small Zen temple, Wei Zhiyuan's inner pain, entanglement and occasional vicious resentment all rose and fell and slowly settled down.

At the beginning, Wei Zhiyuan couldn't help but think of Wei Qian countless times. That was the person he thought about day and night. He even felt that he could describe every strand of Wei Qian's hair.

Wei Zhiyuan did not suppress his desire. He let his desire to desecrate that person run wild, because he might not even have the right to miss her soon.

However, as the sun set, the sultry heat gradually dissipated, and the scent of sandalwood seeped out from the cracks in the old wooden frames. His strong emotions rose and fell several times, and finally he calmed down tiredly. Somehow, Wei Zhiyuan suddenly remembered the person who died in the cold storage.

For many years, Wei Zhiyuan never repented, never thought that he had done anything wrong, and even after the incident was settled, he rarely thought about it.

Now, it is difficult for him to recall the image of that person, but the feeling at that time is still clearly imprinted in his heart. Wei Zhiyuan still remembers that after knowing that Wei Qian might never come back, he came back from Lao Xiong's pharmacy alone, and when he leaned over to prop the bike aside, he touched the cold handlebar and the faint smell of rust on it.

Why kill that man?

Hatred?

No...it didn't get to that point. After all, that guy was just a coward and didn't cause him any substantial harm.

Is that for justice?

Of course it is even more impossible - Wei Zhiyuan feels that if he has that thing in his heart, the first person he would kill is himself.

His spiritual world is closed, he is selfish, cold and extreme. He might be in a good mood for a while and just pick up a little boy he met in the alley and put him into his car, but this is already the limit.

If his brother hadn't been in trouble at that time, would he really have done that?

His meditation brought him back to the summer when he was thirteen years old. His memories replayed in vivid detail, and a familiar feeling came over him. Wei Zhiyuan suddenly understood everything - that was the nightmare that had haunted him for more than twenty years, the feeling of powerlessness that was deep in his bones and blood.

Everything he did was to compensate for the powerlessness he felt in his childhood, which made him always calculating and scheming, even to the extreme of murder.

But those things are like a black hole with a gaping mouth, which will only make people sink deeper and deeper. Even if he eventually becomes a serial killer, he will never be able to make up for his heart.

Fortunately, that hopeless secret love soon became his new spiritual pillar. Looking back, Wei Zhiyuan could knock on countless people's doors countless times for his elder brother, but this was the only time. When he made everything clear and his last glimmer of fantasy was shattered, the pillar collapsed.

There has been only one road to Mount Huashan since ancient times, and he walked on this increasingly narrow road, never stopping and never looking back. Even if there was a cliff in front of him, he would keep walking until he was smashed to pieces.

...As if this way he could comfort himself by saying that he was a strong man.

Just then, a headlight shone over. Wei Zhiyuan thought it was a bus, but when he looked up, he saw Wei Qian's car.

He opened his mouth, not knowing what to say, and his stiff movements like a puppet made him look a little stiff.

Wei Qian rolled down the car window and gestured to him to get in the car.

Wei Zhiyuan hesitated for a moment, sat in the passenger seat, tilted his head to look at Wei Qian's cold profile, and asked tentatively: "Did Brother Xiong inform you?"

Wei Qian responded briefly: "Yeah."

There was no further news.

He didn't want to talk, Wei Zhiyuan could see that.

He was willing to drive across half the city to pick me up in the middle of the night, but was unwilling to say a few words to me.

Wei Zhiyuan leaned back in his chair, a recurring feeling of powerlessness washing over his body. He thought, what should I do?

The next day, Wei Qian did not go to the company and drove Wei Zhiyuan to the airport.

Wei Qian carried a box for him and silently escorted Wei Zhiyuan to the customs gate. He placed the box upright on the ground, looked at Wei Zhiyuan straight in the eye, and said to him, "Let's go."

After saying this, he turned around and walked away as if he had gotten rid of a heavy burden, as if he was too lazy to even take another look.

Wei Zhiyuan grabbed his arm.

"Brother, can you...can you let me hug you?"

Wei Qian lowered his eyes, his gaze fixed on the almost spasmodic hand that was pinching his arm. Then he slowly reached out his hand, pulled Wei Zhiyuan's hand away, and turned and walked away without saying a word.

He is so hard-hearted that once he refuses, there is no room for turning back.

When Wei Zhiyuan walked through the customs alone, he seemed to feel that the entire country was closed behind him. The unspeakable loneliness reflected from the shiny floor tiles made his eyes hurt.

But he didn't know that Wei Qian didn't actually go far.

Wei Qian wandered alone outside the terminal hall for a while, smoked a cigarette, then walked back, found a fast food restaurant, sat down, ordered a drink, and kept looking at his watch, waiting for Wei Zhiyuan's flight to take off smoothly.

When he was alone, the stony expression finally broke.

In Wei Qian's impression, Wei Zhiyuan will always be that little boy with thin arms and legs, who would rustle into his arms. When he closes his eyes, he can still remember the way the little guy lost his first tooth and cried and begged him to sell him.

Wei Qian even attended several of Wei Zhiyuan's parent-teacher conferences. That was a good job because all he had to do was sit upright and act serious, waiting for the teacher to praise him. He never had to be prepared to be scolded at any time like he had to be when he was Xiaobao's parent.

What a nice child.

But what is going on in this situation? Wei Qian didn't know how to face Wei Zhiyuan, and he could only treat him coldly.

He also knew that such a response was inappropriate. Wei Zhiyuan had been such a sensitive child since he was young. Every time he frowned slightly, the child would immediately become silent. No matter whose fault it was, Wei Zhiyuan would first carefully reflect on himself.

Wei Qian could imagine how hurtful this was to others, but what else could he do?

The airport was bustling with people rushing back and forth dragging suitcases everywhere. A foreign song with guitar accompaniment was playing in the fast food restaurant, like a farewell that no one knew about.

That brat...just left like that.

Wei Qian sighed, pushed away the empty drink cup, stood up and left.

Xiaobao was admitted to an art college in the south and lived on campus there. Now, Xiaoyuan has also left.

Ma Zi's mother's house next door was always empty, and he asked someone to clean it regularly, as if she would come back. Sanpang married Lin Qing and moved out from his parents' house.

His home, his neighborhood, seemed empty.

Many years ago, Wei Qian and Sanpang scraped together their savings and compensation to buy a house. The scene of them moving into their new home, excited about having left the shantytown forever, is still vivid in their minds.

now……

Wei Qian shook his head vigorously, forcing himself not to think about it anymore. If he was also sad about the passing of time, he would have no time to do anything else.

In a blink of an eye, Wei Zhiyuan had been gone for more than half a year.

Wei Zhiyuan quickly adapted to life abroad - he could adapt to any life quickly.

He attended classes, worked on papers, went to the library every day, wore wooden Buddhist beads around his wrist, and went to church regularly.

Like Lao Xiong, he does not believe in Eastern or Western gods. He does not even want to find salvation from them. He just wants to find a place where he can calm down and face himself quietly.

Wei Zhiyuan always remembered the words that Lao Xiong gave him before he left: "Love, hate, greed, anger, and ignorance are all just a matter of thought."

There are thousands of different people, but in fact they all choose to magnify or suppress different thoughts. Put aside your ridiculous self-esteem and arrogance, peel off your skin and flesh, and study yourself thoroughly to understand the filth and dirt that hides inside. Then you will have a sword that can penetrate the world.

Wei Zhiyuan would call his home phone regularly to hear that person's voice. He didn't dare call Wei Qian's cell phone for fear of disturbing Wei Qian's work.

But if Xiaobao didn't go home for the holidays, no one would answer the phone at home. Wei Zhiyuan didn't know whether Wei Qian heard the caller ID and deliberately avoided him, or was too busy to go home.

...Oh, by the way, Wei Qian answered the call once.

Before Wei Zhiyuan could say anything, he heard the sound of something falling to the ground from the other side of the ocean. There was a loud noise, and then there seemed to be a sound of something heavy hitting the ground. After that, he called "Hey" several times, and there was no movement from the other side.

Wei Zhiyuan didn't dare to hang up. He guessed that Wei Qian must have dropped the phone, and if he hung up, he couldn't get through. He quickly changed his phone and called Wei Qian's cell phone, but still no one answered.

Xiaobao was too far away, just as out of reach as he was. In the end, Wei Zhiyuan had to find Sanpang.

He hung up the headset on the phone for more than an hour before Sanpang rushed to his house and answered the phone: "Brother, are you still there? It's okay, your brother just drank too much, and he tripped over the phone line when he answered the phone, and he didn't get up. He will be fine after a good sleep, don't worry."

Is this okay?

What kind of life does he live over there?

Wei Zhiyuan wanted to book a plane ticket back immediately, but then he thought that he wouldn't be able to do anything if he went back. His brother might not even bother to pay attention to him, let alone let him tell him what to do in his life.

Until the Chinese New Year - the Lunar New Year.

Wei Zhiyuan had a thirteen-hour time difference with China. He calculated the time and called home half an hour before the New Year's bell rang. This time, to his surprise, the other party picked up the phone after only one ring. A familiar voice came from the other end of the phone: "Xiaoyuan?"

Wei Zhiyuan thought he had prepared himself mentally, but he was still devastated by these three simple words and almost lost control of himself.

He didn't know how long it had been since he heard his elder brother speak to him so calmly.

Wei Qian chatted with him for a long time that day, just like when they were little, patiently listening to how he lived over there, what he learned in school, and whether he made new friends, until the conversation was interrupted by the sound of firecrackers like a world war from Wei Qian's side.

Wei Qian lowered his head and glanced at his watch - he had long ago replaced his watch with a dual time zone model, which always displayed the time in another time zone.

He said, "It's almost time for lunch, right? Today is Chinese New Year, go find a place with lots of Chinese people and have something good to eat."

Wei Zhiyuan couldn't hear clearly because of the noisy background noise: "Brother, what did you say?"

Wei Qian laughed at himself and raised his voice to say to the other end: "Nothing, just go to school. I can't hear you anymore, I'm hanging up."

There were no lights or TV on in the living room. Wei Qian just sat on the sofa, seemingly waiting for someone's call.

The big house that was bought specifically to let the family members have their own rooms and live more comfortably was now frighteningly empty - Xiaobao was chosen by a film crew because of her dancing skills and was unable to come back during the Spring Festival. Wei Qian did not tell her that he had actually invested in that film.

Wei Qian put down the phone, massaged his uncomfortable stomach, and planned to cook a bowl of millet porridge for himself on New Year's Eve.

After Lao Xiong left, Wei Qian became the legitimate core of the company. In just one or two years, the company expanded several times under his leadership. It was not easy for private enterprises to survive, and hundreds of employees followed him. Every time he expanded the company, he had to show up in person and rack his brains to smooth out various relationships. He was always on the road, always had endless social engagements, and often drank more than a pound of liquor.

Wei Qian didn't know how many more years he could continue to play like this, but time was merciless. As he grew older, he was no longer the young man who could be full of energy after a heavy punch in the stomach and rest for two days. Tobacco, alcohol, and hard work were draining his body bit by bit, and Wei Qian could feel this process.

At the beginning of winter, Wei Qian came home drunk one day. As soon as he entered the door, he heard Wei Zhiyuan's phone call in a daze. When he heard the overseas call, he immediately rushed to answer it, and accidentally tripped.

He fainted on the spot at that time. It was not until Kim Jong-un rushed over that he was finally dragged to the bed. However, he later caught pneumonia again because of this slight cold.

But Sanpang was so worried that the look in his eyes almost made Wei Qian feel that he would not live long.

Wei Qian contacted Feng Ning a few times, but nothing came of it. Feng Ning liked the kind of man who "ignored her on the surface, but had deep feelings for her inwardly", not the type like Wei Qian who "was polite on the surface, but indifferent inwardly".

Later, Sanpang introduced him to several girls. Many girls liked Wei Qian, but those who were particularly superficial, those who were only after money, those who were full of fantasies and did not live up to their dreams, and so on were all filtered out by the professional matchmaker Sanpang. He selected carefully and only looked for good girls who were willing to live a good life and who truly liked Wei Qian.

But this kind of good girl who does not seek money and is not very vain mostly pursues pure and beautiful love. Who is willing to endure a man treating her like a task?

Finally, Wei Qian got used to his alone life.

There was nothing wrong with him, but Sanpang always had a sad face every time he saw him, as if he was not a professional matchmaker and felt so sorry for his brother. Later, Sanpang volunteered to be his professional wine stopper. In the past, he would get down alone, but this time, they would often get down together. There was nothing wrong with him, except that Lin Qing was very dissatisfied.

Just as Wei Qian put the porridge pot on the stove, the door opened. Before he could turn around, he heard Xiaobao's voice: "Ouch, I tripped. Brother, are you home? Why don't you turn on the light?"

Wei Qian was almost unbelievable: "Why are you back?"

"I can't let you spend the New Year alone, so I took half a day off and flew back. I'm leaving at four tomorrow morning and I'll catch a flight at six. I'll rush back later." Song Xiaobao jumped into the kitchen, "What are you going to cook? Oh my God! You don't want to drink this, do you? Get out of the way. I need to knead the dough and eat dumplings!"

Fortunately, there is still a girl.

Just like that, another four years passed in the blink of an eye.

Four years later, Wei Qian never thought that he would meet Wei Zhiyuan under such circumstances.