Wei Zhiyuan didn't know how he got through it. If one had to describe those days in one word, it would be "darkness without ray of light."

At first, he was angry.

To Sanpang, to that unknown strange girl, and even to Xiaobao who didn't know the truth.

Wei Zhiyuan felt that he was isolated from the whole world, and no one cared about his hard work. He saw helplessness and emotional tolerance in Sanpang's expression.

But why does he need to be tolerated by others?

Did he do anything wrong?

He was like a man traveling in the wind and snow, with no sight of his hand in front of him. Only the lighthouse guided him with its faint but unique light.

Now, they want to take away even this little thing.

Anger is a short-lived emotion, like a handful of sand; it will either quickly be blown away by the wind or settle into deep, stone-like resentment.

After that, Wei Zhiyuan's emotions slid towards the latter.

Resentment was like a seed that had been buried in his heart for twenty years. It was buried so deep and felt like a thorn in his throat. With just a little wind and rain, it would break through the ground and grow into a towering tree with flesh and blood.

Crazy hatred permeated every corner of his heart - just like a corpse, no matter how hard it was covered up, it couldn't hide the smell of decay - even though Wei Zhiyuan was trying his best not to show it, even the usually carefree Xiaobao noticed that something was wrong with him, and his voice would be an octave lower every time he spoke to him.

His resentment was directed at everyone, so when it was shared among everyone, it didn't seem so strong, except for Wei Qian.

Wei Zhiyuan himself didn't know how many years had passed. He couldn't even explain how strong and deep his feelings for his eldest brother were, to the point that he almost couldn't tell the difference between love and hate.

The love is so deep that one would hate to eat his bones, sip his flesh and drink his blood.

Wei Zhiyuan's mental state is in a dangerous state of extreme numbness and sensitivity, brewing a storm that is ready to break out.

Just then, Wei Qian came back.

Wei Qian was feeling groggy when he got off the plane. He asked Ma Chunming to buy him a large cup of strong tea at the airport. After drinking it, he managed to wake himself up. Then he rushed to the headquarters for a meeting to report on the key points of recent work.

By the time he returned home exhausted, it was already past eight o'clock in the evening.

It was hot in the south, so he was wearing a thin shirt inside. He hurriedly put on his coat when he got here, but the cold wind from the north still kept blowing into his clothes. Wei Qian walked into the house wrapped in coldness, and his exposed skin turned white with cold.

The moment Wei Zhiyuan heard the door open, his heart began beating violently.

He walked out like a sleepwalker, and it felt like the elder brother standing at the door had bumped into his eyes, causing him pain.

"Are you home? I'm freezing to death," Wei Qian glanced at him, then asked without even looking up, "Is there anything to eat?"

Wei Zhiyuan was speechless. After a while, he responded like a zombie, walked into the kitchen, took two eggs, started dicing vegetables, and planned to fry the remaining bowl of rice.

Wei Qian said from outside: "Xiao Yuan, don't bother yourself with that. If there's any leftovers, just bring them to me and have a couple of bites."

Wei Zhiyuan turned a deaf ear to it.

He seemed to have to do something to maintain his superficial calm.

Wei Qian thought he didn't hear it, but the heat in the room made all the lazy muscles in his body start to get tangled up. He collapsed on the sofa like a boneless person, threw his suitcase aside, and turned on the TV.

When Wei Zhiyuan came out with a bowl of fried rice, Wei Qian had already fallen asleep on the sofa.

Wei Zhiyuan's breathing stopped along with his footsteps.

The big bowl in the palm of his hand began to get hot, but his hands seemed numb and he couldn't feel it at all.

Wei Qian's body shrank into a small corner along with the soft cushion of the sofa. He had not had time to put down his crossed legs. One hand was lightly pressing on the remote control, and the other hand was placed across his chest in a wronged manner. His head was leaning on the back of the sofa, with his chin almost completely retracted into his collar. His face was pale, and his cracked lips were covered with fine dry skin and cracks. The rise and fall of his chest seemed so unnoticeable.

...Like dead.

Wei Zhiyuan heard his heart beating heavily.

In his wide and indiscriminate reading, he had read many stories about making living people into specimens. In the past, he had just regarded them as curiosity and never took them to heart. But at this moment, a similar thought was like a flash of lightning, which shattered his tattered spiritual world.

If that person... could no longer speak, could no longer open his eyes, could no longer see others...

Wei Zhiyuan felt that he must have some criminal genes in his bones. He began to walk forward uncontrollably, slowly approaching the unconscious Wei Qian, staring at him as if possessed by a ghost.

The hard-of-hearing old lady Song has already fallen asleep, but Xiaobao has not yet finished his evening study.

Closer...closer.

It was so close that I could hear Wei Qian's soft and steady breathing and see his motionless eyelashes.

At this moment, Wei Zhiyuan's heart was filled with sadness without warning, like a river that suddenly burst its banks, ruthlessly dispersing the cold murderous intent that was choking his internal organs. He heard the sound of a tidal wave crashing down and crashing. After a long while, he could hardly distinguish the sound of his heart that had been suppressed under the water. It was a simple sentence...

Why did he lose weight?

The imaginary hatred and the real people tore apart the love and desire in Wei Zhiyuan's heart.

They were heartbroken, and then they fought to the death, and finally returned to a state of almost desperate purity together.

Only unforgettable feelings can overwhelm the innate paranoia. Wei Zhiyuan knew that he would never be able to have such feelings again in his life.

He finally put down the bowl he was holding, curled up his red, scalded fingertips, gently pushed Wei Qian, bent down and said softly: "Brother, wake up."

...Wake up, I can't bear it anymore, please look at me, I can be broken into pieces and my soul will be shattered for you.

Nothing happened afterwards. After Wei Qian was woken up by him, he finished a large bowl of fried rice at the speed of light. He probably didn't even have time to chew it and just swallowed it. Then he staggered back to the room with his suitcase and as expected saw what Sanpang had done - he didn't give a damn about the person who could enter and leave his room freely and do such a boring thing.

Wei Qian didn't like to speculate about the people around him, and he was even more lazy to think about what Sanpang meant. He just felt that the fat man was bored, so he cursed himself: "Fuck, fat man."

Then he tore off the packaging box and threw it away. He took a look at the lighter but couldn't tell how much it was worth, so he stuffed it into the drawer. Finally, he put Feng Ning's photo on it and stuffed it in a corner.

In his eyes, this was just a small prank by Sanpang, so small that it couldn't even change his life, and he forgot about it in a blink of an eye.

He had no idea that Wei Zhiyuan's heart was in turmoil.

That day was the first day of February in the lunar calendar. It seemed that spring should be coming soon, but there was no spring in the air. The sky was gloomy all day, as if a heavy snow was brewing. The river had not melted either. Spring was forgotten in the freezing cold.

The project crisis in City C was officially resolved, and the entire company welcomed its belated annual meeting and exceptionally generous year-end bonuses.

I don’t know if it was because he was too relaxed, but Wei Qian actually got up late that day. When Sanpang was getting ready to leave, he ran over and knocked on his door and forcibly dug him out of bed.

Wei Qian packed himself up in a hurry and went out in a hurry. He didn't even notice that he had left something behind.

On the way, Sanpang was still tentatively asking Wei Qian: "Did Xiaoyuan say anything to you?"

"Xiao Yuan?" Wei Qian was stunned for a moment, "What did you tell me?"

Sanpang rolled his eyes and quickly changed the subject. He had been on edge these days, fearing that Wei Zhiyuan would do something irrational and hurt others and himself. However, Wei Zhiyuan seemed to have become a dud, saying nothing and doing nothing.

Sanpang thought: This is strange... Is he planning some big idea?

Sanpang: "Oh, by the way, there will be a party tonight, including a celebration banquet, you know, right?"

Wei Qian: “Yeah.”

Sanpang: "Invitations to the major shareholders and previous partners have been sent, and family members can also be brought... Oh, by the way, I also invited Feng Ning."

Wei Qian rolled his eyes.

Sanpang immediately warned: "You promised it with all your heart!"

Wei Qian had no choice but to wave his hand and let him go.

As a result, at the celebration banquet in the evening, Mr. Zhang started to make trouble again and suggested that they hang up the large real-life picture of the project in City C so that everyone could share in the joy.

Although Mr. Zhang was the culprit who made them look so embarrassed, he still had to give him face. Wei Qian asked someone to look for it and found out that he had been urged by Mr. Sanpang in the morning and had forgotten to bring it out. He had to call home and ask Wei Zhiyuan who happened to be at home to bring it to him.

When Wei Zhiyuan arrived downstairs of their company, the chairman's secretary was waiting for him. He came up to him and said kindly, "You are Chairman Wei's brother, right? He asked me to pick you up downstairs."

The chairman's  secretary was in her thirties. She looked like a pure girl, but her personality could be split into that of a rough man without any excessiveness. She had just finished talking to Wei Zhiyuan in a warm and gentle manner, and then she received a phone call and started glaring and cursing: "You said you put the speech manuscript on his desk? Do you expect Chairman Wei to find it himself? Why don't you expect Columbus to discover the New World again? Can't you kids be more careful in doing things? How many times have I reminded you that you have to hand this to him in person and tell him with your mouth that this is the opening remarks before the dinner starts, not some inexplicable congratulatory message from a partner! If you don't tell him that such a thing exists, he dares to go up and bow and tell everyone to eat and drink well, do you believe it?"

Then, she realized that she seemed to have complained about the boss in front of the brother, and quickly forced a smile at Wei Zhiyuan. With her extremely fast expression speed, she said in a weak and gentle voice like a Japanese woman with small steps: "Are you still a student? Alas, our job is to pay attention to these trivial matters that the boss does not need to pay attention to. It's more interesting to go to school now."

Wei Zhiyuan smiled at her politely, but in his heart he was obsessed with recalling over and over again what the woman in front of him had just said.

Do you expect him to find out?

Tell him with your mouth...

The elevator arrived soon.  The secretary took the things that Wei Zhiyuan brought and carefully arranged a seat for him. "Thank you for making a special trip. Director Wei asked you to take his car back after dinner. Tell me if there is anything I have not done well for you."

After saying that, she stepped on her high heels and ran away like a rabid firecracker. Following her "launch trajectory", Wei Zhiyuan raised his head and saw his brother.

Wei Qian was wearing a formal suit, with one hand in his pocket. The hem of his coat was folded up a little by his wrist, revealing a faint waist. The tie around his neck was the same one Wei Zhiyuan had bought for him. He was holding a piece of paper that someone had just handed him -  probably the opening remarks that the secretary had just made.

He had an impatient look on his face and seemed to want to say something, but a bald old man walked towards him, so he had to briefly put away his personal emotions and give a just the right amount of warm smile.

Wei Zhiyuan stared at him without blinking his eyes until all the lights in the hall dimmed.

He watched Wei Qian fold the stupid piece of paper casually, stuff it into the chairman's  secretary 's cup, walk onto the stage empty-handed, and make a brief and decent opening.

The only light in the hall followed him, and everyone's eyes followed him as well.

Wei Zhiyuan couldn't help but think of more things - the boy who beat a stray dog ​​to death with a brick more than ten years ago, the one who  laughed so hard at the "suicide note" that had been there for so many years, the one who strode over to hug him and let him let go of the iron pipe, the one who smelled of ointment and cigarettes from injuries that had been stained with time, the one who was covered in scars in a hotel in a foreign land late at night...

Indifferent, determined, gentle, anxious, angry, helpless...all the expressions that appeared on that person's face.

The banquet began with clinking glasses and everyone felt relaxed and happy as if a heavy burden had been lifted off their shoulders.

Wei Zhiyuan had no appetite - he saw the girl in the photo. She seemed to be more beautiful in person than in the photo. She stood next to Sanpang, glanced at Wei Qian shyly, and then lowered her head embarrassedly.

Is it her?

With Wei Zhiyuan's intelligence, when he calmed down later, he actually guessed that his brother and the girl had not yet started, and it was most likely that Sanpang deliberately provoked him... But so what?

They could definitely start now.

Wei Zhiyuan didn't eat anything. He just drank wine on an empty stomach. Under the taste of alcohol, he thought exhaustedly, should I give up?

In his impression, there was nothing he could not get as long as he wanted, but such arrogance finally suffered a devastating blow.

Wei Qian didn't know whether it was to give face to Sanpang or out of his own will, but he behaved like a real young talent in front of Feng Ning. Sanpang looked at them talking and laughing, then walked away calmly, with a look of relief on his face.

Wei Zhiyuan closed his eyes, and the balance in his heart finally tilted to one side.

He thought: Okay, I give up.

Then, he poured a whole glass of liquor down his throat, burning it all the way into his stomach, leaving only bitterness on the tip of his tongue.

It was not until the end of the banquet that Wei Qian got rid of the others  and found Wei Zhiyuan under the guidance of his secretary.

Wei Zhiyuan reeked of alcohol and there was something wrong in his eyes.

Wei Qian had no choice but to pick him up: "You little brat, you've even learned to drink. No one cares about you anymore, right?"

Wei Zhiyuan stared at him infatuatedly without saying a word, and obediently followed the help of his elder brother's hand to stand up.

Wei Qian helped him all the way to his office, threw Wei Zhiyuan on a chair, and poured him a cup of herbal tea: "Wake up before going home."

After saying that, Wei Qian took off his suit jacket and prepared to go out and put on his coat.

Wei Zhiyuan said softly: "Brother..."

Wei Qian loosened the tie that was making him feel uncomfortable, and said casually, "Hmm?"

"He will belong to someone else," Wei Zhiyuan thought desperately, "I have given up, but he still doesn't know..."

 The secretary 's words somehow echoed in my ears again.

Tell him with your mouth...tell him...

Wei Qian noticed that he hadn't said anything for a long time and thought that the drunk cat had fallen asleep.

His tie was half untied, with a few fingers still entangled in it. He turned half sideways as if wanting to look back at Wei Zhiyuan. At this moment, Wei Qian was caught off guard and was suddenly pounced on by someone, and he took a few steps back and hit the wall.

"elder brother……"

The man pressed heavily on him and yelled like a delirium again. Before Wei Qian could react what was happening, his collar, which was still wrapped with a loose tie, was suddenly and roughly pulled over by someone, and a hot kiss blocked his questions that had not yet been asked.

It was so fierce and desperate that it swept through every corner like a whirlwind in the blink of an eye.

Wei Qian's mind went blank.

It was not until then that he smelled the smell of alcohol on the other person, which was so strong that it was beyond words.

Just then, the door of Wei Qian's office was opened. The sound of the door finally brought Wei Qian back to his senses, and he pushed Wei Zhiyuan away.

Standing at the door was a startled old bear.

Wei Zhiyuan staggered backwards, his lower back hitting Wei Qian's desk. The documents on the desk wobbled and fell to the ground. Wei Zhiyuan slid down like mud. He felt a punch on his chin and his lip was broken by his teeth. The smell of blood hit his nose and his eyes were full of stars.

Lao Xiong reacted quickly, turned around and locked the door, then rushed over and grabbed Wei Qian's fist that was about to fall.

"Qian'er!" The old bear nudged Wei Qian with his shoulder, dragged him away for a distance, and said into his ear, "Don't do that, that's enough!"

Wei Qian felt his temples and the corners of his eyes throbbing endlessly. After he stood up straight, his vision almost went dark and his face turned pale. Wei Zhiyuan made him so angry that his chest felt sharp pains.

Lao Xiong forced him to sit on the chair, frowned at Wei Zhiyuan, and bent down to check: "Did you hit the back of your head? Can you still stand up?"

Wei Zhiyuan rejected the hand that was extended to help him and climbed up shakily. He was sober now, but he didn't want to think or say anything. He just stood there silently.

It took Wei Qian a long while to let out the breath that was stuck in his chest. He didn't want to explain to Lao Xiong what was going on - even he himself couldn't figure out what was going on, so he had to pretend to be calm and said, "What do you want from me?"

Old Xiong looked at the chaos on the ground, sighed, bent down to pick up the file that Wei Zhiyuan had knocked off, was silent for a while, and said softly: "Qian'er, I want to leave."

Wei Qian: “What?”

"I plan to take Chen Lu away." Lao Xiong whispered, "I'm quitting. My shares will be transferred. If you are willing to take it, you can take it. If not, I will transfer it to a third party."

Wei Qian took a deep breath: "Have you decided?"

Old Bear: “Yeah.”

Wei Qian was silent for a long time, and finally closed his eyes and rubbed his temples gently: "Okay, I'll take it."

Lao Xiong nodded at him, not intending to stay any longer, and turned to leave. Before leaving, he took a deep look at Wei Zhiyuan standing in the shadows, and sighed faintly: "I'll call a driver for you."

And that night, there seemed to be more than just this farce.

After Wei Zhiyuan left, Xiaobao went home to make sure that Old Lady Song had something to eat and got her some medicine before he hurried back to school for evening self-study.

As usual, Old Lady Song sent her to the door and told her to drive slowly. At this moment, Old Lady Song felt a warm sensation under her crotch. She didn't react at first.

Xiaobao accidentally glanced and said: "Ah, grandma, why are your pants wet?"

Old Mrs. Song lowered her head as if struck by lightning. She was shocked and ashamed to find that she was incontinent.

Xiaobao immediately understood, threw his  schoolbag aside, rolled up his sleeves and tried to help her change her pants: "I'll help you first..."

Old Mrs. Song took a step back in panic.

"Grandma, don't move. I'll change your pants."

"No need!" Old Mrs. Song, who could no longer speak clearly, almost yelled at her.

Xiaobao had never heard her make such a shrill sound, and he stood there in a daze for a moment.

Old Mrs. Song said tremblingly, "You...you go...go to school. Go, go on your way."

Xiaobao: "Grandma..."

Old Lady Song held onto the wall with one hand and waved her cane at her with the other: "Go! Go!"

Xiaobao hesitated for a moment: "Then can you do it yourself?"

Old Lady Song roared at her: "Go!"

Xiaobao: "Okay, okay, I'll leave right away. You...well, it's okay. Go slowly. I'll wash your pants when I come back in the evening...Ah, don't worry. I'll leave right away, right away."

Old Mrs. Song rudely drove Xiaobao away and felt as if her spine had been pulled out. It took her more than half an hour to change her urine-soaked pants with great effort, and she was sweating profusely.

She wanted to cry loudly in the fishy smell, but her tears had dried up and she still couldn't cry a single tear.

Ten years ago, she came to this city from her hometown picking up scraps. She was so poor and yet so decent at that time.

She never thought that one day she would end up like this. Old Mrs. Song almost felt like she was no longer a human being.

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

Old Mrs. Song didn't respond for a long time until Ma Zi's mother's voice came from outside: "Old sister, are you asleep?"

Old Mrs. Song moved over and opened the door for her.

I saw Ma Zi's mother sitting in a convenient wheelchair, holding a crutch in one arm. She dressed herself up and looked radiant. She carried nothing but a map and a bottle of mineral water.

"Old sister," Ma Zi's mother said, "I'm leaving now while they're all away. If I don't leave now, the weather will get warmer and I'll have to wait until next year."

As the weather gets warmer, it becomes harder for homeless people to die.

"I'm saying goodbye to you." She said, and then she maneuvered the wheelchair towards the elevator with difficulty.

At this moment, Old Lady Song suddenly called out to her, "Her aunt!"

Ma Zi's mother turned around and looked at her.

Old Lady Song's lips trembled for a long time: "I...I'll go with you, go with you."

Ma Zi's mother seemed to have expected this and said without any surprise, "Come on."

Just like that, on a cold night when snow was about to fall, the two women walked out of everyone's sight hand in hand, and were never seen again.

Old Mrs. Song came from Mid-Autumn Festival and left for early spring, taking with her the last of her dignity and decency.

"At least I can read a few words, wrote  a suicide note , and left a letter." Ma Zi's mother and Old Lady Song said this on the way.

Old Lady Song asked: "What does the letter say?"

"It says 'I'm not dead, I'm just gone'."

It's not a separation in death, it's just a separation in life.

Pain and happiness are not brought into this world and cannot be taken away from this world.

Only dusk is magnificent and supreme. ——Hai Zi