It turns out that no matter what you become, I will still be moved by you.

When we walk side by side, silence is the only dialogue.
In fact, Lin Qianliu's heart had already been turbulent, but she just pretended to be calm on the surface. Memories related to Luo Qubai were flying around in her mind, and she had many, many questions. If it were her in the past, she would have asked and said everything she wanted to say without hiding anything, but since Luo Qubai left without saying goodbye, she learned to be timid and afraid.
She thought about it and lowered her head dejectedly.
His eyes inadvertently fell on the shadow on the ground, and the shadow elongated by the goose yellow light swayed gently.
Lin Qianliu suddenly remembered something and his nose felt sore. He frowned and stood still, his eyes fixed on Luo Qubai's shadow on the ground.
Luo Qubai seemed not to notice her stopping, and continued to move forward step by step, with the amplitude of his shadow swaying more and more.
"Luo Qubai..." Tears blurred his vision. Lin Qianliu sniffed and tried to suppress the grievance and sadness in his voice, and said, " Why this?"
She had been feeling overwhelmed by the surprise of meeting him again after such a long separation, nervous about the sudden yet familiar heartbeat, and also brooding over his leaving without saying goodbye. She was distracted and realized that she was so focused on her own emotions that she forgot that Luo Qubai was limping on his right foot when he went on stage, and it was obvious that he was injured.
She didn't dare to imagine and hoped that his answer would be "It's just an accidental injury, it will be healed in two days."
"Oh..." When he heard her question, Luo Qubai also heard the tenderness in her voice, and his heart couldn't help but throb. After a pause, he smiled gently and said lightly, "It has been injured for a long time, but it's okay."
"Why, how could this happen?"
What she wanted to ask was how he got injured, but in her anxiety, this was the only line she could say.
"It was an accidental injury, it's nothing serious." Luo Qubai understood her question and smiled gently without mentioning the reason for the injury.
If possible, he hoped that she would never know the reason in her life.
He did not give her the answer she wanted. Lin Qianliu knew that he might not want to talk about the sad past, but he could not help asking, "Is it...was it injured when you were abroad?"
Luo Qubai remained silent and did not answer, as if he was thinking about the best answer.
Lin Qianliu waited for about ten seconds but Luo Qubai didn't speak, so she believed that he didn't want to talk about it. Thinking of this, she immediately apologized for asking. Then, not knowing how to ease the embarrassment, she silently turned her face away, changed the subject, and said, "I looked for you many times after the college entrance examination."
Her voice was still filled with grievance, but unlike when she felt sorry for Luo Qubai, this time she felt sorry for her past self, and there was a hint of awkward reproach in her tone.
Trying to ease the embarrassment only seemed to bring another embarrassment upon itself.
Perhaps because he was confused, Lin Qianliu didn't realize that he had repeatedly put himself in an awkward situation while being alone.
Luo Qubai stood a few steps away from her, looking at her profile. In the dim light, there seemed to be tears flashing.
His heart ached, as if her tears had fallen on his heart. In his mind, memories were quickly turning over, but on the surface he remained calm. He knew that she must have had a hard time over the years, but he was obviously not much better than her, but he kept thinking about her happiness and sadness.
He suddenly wanted to reach out and hug her.
However, before she even took a step out, Lin Qianliu couldn't wait any longer. She asked, "Luo Qubai, what do you want? You left without a word and came back without a word. Do you know how hard I tried to forget you? Do you know how painful my life has been in the past two years? Do you know that I don't want to see you again? Why do you always come to tease my heart? Why?
"Two years ago, after the college entrance examination, everyone said that you had decided to leave with Jian Sile a long time ago. I didn't believe it, but in the end I had to believe it. It turns out that I have always been a joke!"
"Why , Luo Qubai, why did you give me a false hope and ask me to get into Y University when you clearly didn't plan to choose me? I tried so hard to be with you, but it turned out that you were just joking. Have you been laughing at me in your heart? Yes, I deserve it. Who made me like you so much in the first place? But why did you play tricks on me if you don't like me?"
"How I wish you were just abducted by aliens, that's why I haven't heard from you since then; how I wish I was just dreaming, it was just a dream from the moment I saw you. But everything clearly happened, you were not abducted by aliens, you just went abroad with Jian Sile!"
"Luo Qubai, you really went too far. You didn't even think of responding to me until the very end. You just left without even saying goodbye to me..."
It was originally just a grievance, but in the end every sentence became a question.
Lin Qianliu didn't know why her emotions got out of control, and her tears flowed wildly and unrestrainedly. Then, realizing her loss of composure, she gritted her teeth, turned around, and desperately wiped her tears with her back to Luo Qubai.
In front of me, Lin Qianliu's back was so thin that it seemed as if a gust of autumn wind could blow her away.
Luo Qubai could vaguely imagine that a person as stubborn as her must have been trapped in a prison for the past two years, unable to let go, unable to forget, always lingering in memories. Thinking of this, he felt distressed and wanted to hug the lonely, helpless, and aggrieved figure. However, before he knew it, his feet, which had been raised, gently fell back to the original place.
In the end, he withdrew without any explanation, and just said, "I'm sorry."
The clear voice seemed pale and weak in the silent night.
Lin Qianliu turned around, her lower lip bitten blue and white, she looked at Luo Qubai with unwilling eyes and said, "I never want to hear sorry."
Even without explanation, just a simple "I like you" is enough to make her forget the past. Otherwise, a hug is worth everything.
However, after saying "I'm sorry", Luo Qubai just stood there, motionless, silent, and even avoided looking at her.
He was afraid and hesitant.
But Lin Qianliu knew nothing. She couldn’t read his emotions, nor could she see what he was thinking. She didn’t understand why he had become like this.
"Luo Qubai." She could only call him with her last hope.
"Yeah." Luo Qubai finally responded softly.
"Have you ever liked me?" She asked aggressively without any hesitation, unwillingly.
The saddest thing is just "no". When the question was asked, Lin Qianliu already had the courage to face it.
However, Luo Qubai seemed to have not heard any sound and returned to his previous silence with his head still lowered.
Lin Qianliu could not see the sadness in his eyes, but only saw his seemingly indifferent attitude towards her.
Her heart was invaded by desolation, and her body couldn't help but shiver in this autumn night.
She knew that no matter what, it was impossible for her to hear Luo Qubai say that he liked her, and it was even more impossible for her to get a hug from him.
So, she chose to give up, leaving only a sentence "I'll go back by myself" and walked past him.
However, when they passed each other, she was expecting him to hold her hand; when they were getting farther away from each other, she was still expecting him to catch up with her from behind.
But, it was always quiet behind me and nothing happened.
After returning to the dormitory and closing the door, Lin Qianliu leaned his entire back against the door and let out a long breath.
She just wanted to take a deep breath and clear her mind of the restless sadness, but tears just couldn't hold back and suddenly overflowed from her eyes. Feeling two cold tear marks on her face, she hurriedly raised her hand, sniffing her nose while wiping her tears.
Just at this moment, Lian Shengmo came out of the bathroom next to her. As soon as he opened the door, he was frightened by her depressed look.
Lian Shengmo had just transferred to their journalism major this semester, and she and Lin Qianliu were good friends right away. On the first day they arrived at the dormitory, the two of them had already slept in the same bed. Lian Shengmo had never seen Lin Qianliu so sad before, and she was a little overwhelmed for a while. She only knew that Lin Qianliu was going to host the welcome party tonight, and she had never been interested in that kind of party, so she went to the library alone, and not long after she came back, Lin Qianliu came back.
"What's wrong, Xiao Qian?" After reacting, Lian Shengmo hurried forward and gently put his arm around Lin Qianliu's shoulder.
"A'mo..." Lin Qianliu wanted to pretend to be strong, but as soon as he opened his mouth, tears came out and he collapsed in Lian Shengmo's arms.
"Don't cry first. What's the matter?" Lian Shengmo was a little flustered and patted her shoulder to comfort her.
Lin Qianliu cried for a while before she calmed down. Fortunately, the other two roommates in the dormitory had gone to a concert and would not be back until the next day, so Lin Qianliu could be so unrestrained.
Seeing that she had finally calmed down, Lian Shengmo shook his head and sighed, then handed her a cup of warm water.
Lin Qianliu took the glass of warm water, tilted his head back, and took a few sips. Most of the full glass of water was gone in an instant.
Lian Shengmo crossed his arms over his chest, leaned against the closet next to him, looked at her, and said, "Can you tell me now?"
"Well, I met someone today." Lin Qianliu took a deep breath, "His name is Luo Qubai, he is my first love, and the memory of my entire youth."
"Oh, this is an old love that cannot be forgotten." Lian Shengmo nodded and commented.
"I have never forgotten him. From the first time I saw him, I knew that I would never forget this person in my life." Lin Qianliu smiled helplessly and fell into memories. "Amo, you said that you don't believe in love at first sight, but I fell in love with Luo Qubai at first sight. Before I met Luo Qubai, I didn't have any girlish thoughts and had never liked any boy, but that day, when I saw Luo Qubai, I had a feeling - he was the one, the indispensable person in my life is him."
Lian Shengmo did not respond, but just looked at her quietly and listened to her story about her and Luo Qubai.
Lin Qianliu sighed, with a helpless yet happy smile on his face: "You must have guessed that I was the one pursuing him. When we first met, Luo Qubai didn't even look at me, so I said to him with a grin: 'Classmate, you don't have a girlfriend yet, right? What do you think of me?'"
Lian Shengmo burst out laughing, and then deliberately joked: "Then you and Qin Shu are really a good match."
"You and him are a perfect match!" Lin Qianliu rolled her eyes at her unhappily, skipped over Qin Shu's topic, and continued, "Guess what Luo Qubai said to me at that time. He actually said I was 'ugly'. Although I'm not ugly, I'm obsessed with him. I told him that it's popular to pair handsome men with ugly women, and this is just right. We are a good match."
Lian Shengmo burst out laughing again, but this time he didn't tease her. He just stretched out his hand and made a "awesome" gesture.
Lin Qianliu didn't care about Lian Shengmo's reaction. He just recalled his youth and told her every detail of his pursuit of Luo Qubai.
It had been a long time since she had allowed herself to recall Luo Qubai so willfully. When she recalled it now, it all seemed as if it had just happened yesterday.
The story continued until after the college entrance examination, when Lin Qianliu suddenly fell silent.
Seeing Lin Qianliu's sad expression, Lian Shengmo had a bad guess in her heart. She couldn't help but frowned and wanted to ask something. She opened her mouth slightly but couldn't find the right words, so she had to keep silent.
The next second, Lin Qianliu continued speaking.
She said: "On the first day of the college entrance examination, I didn't perform well because I was not feeling well. I was afraid that I would not be admitted to Y University. I also knew that it would be difficult for me to make up for the lost points in the Chinese language, which is my best subject, with the scores in other subjects. I was very sad. At that time, I missed Luo Qubai very much and wanted him to comfort me, but I endured it because I knew that I couldn't affect Luo Qubai's subsequent exams because of my poor performance. However, after the college entrance examination, I couldn't find Luo Qubai. Later, I learned that he went abroad with his childhood sweetheart, Jian Sile, as soon as the college entrance examination was over. He clearly said that as long as I could be admitted to Y University, he would give me a chance. He clearly said so, but it turned out that he was just talking."
She stopped talking here and tears started to flow out.
Lian Shengmo looked at her distressedly. At this moment, Lin Qianliu bit her lip and wiped away the tears on her face. Lian Shengmo, who didn't know how to comfort her, took two steps and hugged her.
If I can't find a word of comfort with thousands of words, then I might as well use a hug instead.
Lin Qianliu took several deep breaths, stubbornly not letting himself go a second time, but he refused to let himself go, repeating over and over again: "He doesn't like me, he has never liked me..."
"If he doesn't like you, then you shouldn't like him!" Lian Shengmo couldn't help but grab her arms and said in a blaming tone.
"But I can't do it." Lin Qianliu choked up. She knew that although Lian Shengmo seemed to be blaming her, he was actually concerned about her.
"You are not like yourself at all like this, Lin Qianliu!"
"I know that love shouldn't be everything in life. But without Luo Qubai, my life is not colorful, like a stagnant pool of water. I also want to forget him, and I have tried to forget him. In the end, I forced myself into a desperate situation and even pretended to forget. I clearly deceived everyone, but he came back again."
"Ah, you..."
"As soon as I saw him, I couldn't help but be moved again." Lin Qianliu gritted his teeth, not daring to look Lian Shengmo in the eye, "Ah Mo, I know, you want to say that I'm too spineless. It was obviously him who didn't want me at the beginning, but two years have passed, and I still feel moved and heartbroken. Even his disabled legs are a kind of imperfect beauty to me."
Hearing this, Lian Shengmo sighed again and said, "Xiao Qian, you must be possessed."
Lin Qianliu's mouth twitched, as if smiling: "Yes, I must have gone crazy. Just now, he sent me back, and I actually hoped that he would tell me that he liked me. I am crazy, it is obvious that he doesn't want me, how can he like me."
Lian Shengmo remained silent.
It’s not that she doesn’t want to pay attention to Lin Qianliu, but Lin Qianliu only has Luo Qubai in his heart. No matter how much she says, it can’t compare to Luo Qubai’s few words.
Love sometimes makes people lose all their self-esteem and do it willingly.
Lin Qianliu is an example.