Chapter 5 I would rather time be so cruel
My life is like that of an ant, and I only long for warmth. Once I find what I want, I will never let go even if we go to hell together.
——Xue Ye
01
Xue Ye stopped harassing me, and I naively thought he had forgotten me.
The mother began to suffer from insomnia and couldn't sleep all night because the baby in her belly was tormenting her.
The doctor had told us before that the mother might give birth prematurely in this situation, and that both the baby and the mother would be in danger. Premature births must meet the standard for the baby to survive, which is usually after 28 weeks.
The doctor said these words to Shen Huai and me in the office and suggested that we be mentally prepared.
"Doctor, what will be the outcome of my wife's delivery? Can you give me a clear answer first?" Shen Huai sat on the chair, his cracked lips bloodless, and asked these questions tremblingly.
"It's hard to say. It depends on her physical condition. If the fetus is well maintained or develops well in the mother's body, the chances of survival are high. Premature babies are generally low in weight and weak in constitution, and are likely to develop neonatal respiratory distress syndrome..." the doctor said slowly.
"Just tell me, can my lover be saved? " Inspector Shen Huai leaned forward to ask, eagerly seeking the answer.
"The patient herself is not suitable for having children. You should have been mentally prepared for your wife's current condition." The doctor answered without any concealment.
"...Yes . Thank you." Shen Huai's eyes were cloudy and without any luster. He slowly moved out of the office and pushed the door open to go out.
"Doctor, thank you." I stood up, bowed, and followed Shen Huai out.
Shen Huai sat on the bench and stared at the floor silently. He lowered his head, and his deep eye sockets showed the fatigue and sadness of the past few days. Shen Huai never smoked. When he was sad, he liked to sit alone and stare at the floor in a daze.
In fact, he has always been pretending to be strong in front of his mother.
"Uncle Shen..." I put my hands on his shoulders.
He slowly turned his head and looked at me with eyes so sad that it made me want to cry .
"Wei Yang, uncle is tired." Like a defeated hero, he finally took off his armor and admitted that he was defeated miserably in this invisible battle.
"Uncle Shen, you have done very well for my mother." This man, who had experienced the pain of losing his wife and son, has been silently giving since he met my mother and formed a family. Over the years, he has done enough and well for me and my mother. He really did a good job.
There is no perfect love or perfect life in the world. The so-called perfection is just finding an imperfect person to complete your life. The appearance of my mother perfected Uncle Shen's life, and Uncle Shen also virtually made up for the shortcomings in my mother's and my life.
In order to be closer to my mother, I took a leave of absence from the dormitory and moved to the house rented by Shen Huai, so that we could take turns going to the hospital. I simply skipped the unimportant classes at school if I couldn't take a leave, and attended two classes if I really couldn't take a leave.
My mind was completely occupied by my mother's affairs.
After two classes in the morning, I saw Fang Xuyu in front of the teaching building. He was wearing a white and gray sportswear, carrying a backpack, and standing with his hands in his jacket pockets, apparently waiting for someone.
He looked at me with his eyes filled with melancholy. I pointed at myself curiously and asked him silently with my eyes: Are you waiting for me?
He nodded.
I walked over, and he started walking. I followed him past the teaching building and onto the tree-lined avenue. The gentle sunlight cast mottled shadows through the gaps between the leaves, and the warm wind blew across my face. The leaves of the two rows of camphor trees rustled above our heads.
"Is there something you want to talk to me about?" His silence was puzzling, so I asked, looking at the figure in front of me who still didn't intend to speak.
"Yeah." His response reflected his unhappy mood.
I waited for a long time, and the silence between us was lengthened by time.
"Uh, why don't you speak if you have something to say?" I really don't know who he resembles with this weird and taciturn personality. I raised my voice and asked after holding it in for a long time.
"How is your mother now?"
Light and shadow flowed on his back. He stopped and turned around, hiding his concern in his eyes.
"Not very good." I didn't think of hiding it from him. Anyway, he knew about my mother's affairs earlier than I did. But after that time, he never mentioned it in front of me on purpose again.
"Why don't you come to class?" he asked.
"Because I have to take care of my mother, I don't have that much time. I can pass the exams even if I skip some classes. I'm not worried." I said with confidence.
"If you have any difficulties, you can come to me." He avoided my gaze and spoke unnaturally.
"I see."
I knew I wouldn't look for him, but since he said so, I didn't want to refuse his kindness.
Fang Xuyu lowered his head slightly, and his usual fierce and unruly eyes could not be seen. His bangs were blown up by the breeze, and the sunlight poured on his cheeks. The two thin lips that usually spoke harshly were tightly pursed.
I looked at his flawless profile. Seeing him so quiet from such a close distance, I actually wanted to admit that he really was that kind of deadly handsome guy.
"Fang Weiyang, come home the day after tomorrow on the weekend for dinner." He suddenly looked up, and I quickly looked away, pretending to look at the playground in the distance.
Hearing his words, my gaze returned to his face: "Were you not joking last time?"
With a serious look on his face, he walked forward a few steps and sat on a bench nearby for people to rest.
I remembered the card I received on Christmas Eve last year, so I ran over to him and asked, "By the way, was that the card I received on Christmas Eve last year from you?"
"Yeah." He looked at a group of students playing ball on the playground, narrowed his eyes slightly, and the familiar melancholy spread across his face again.
I suddenly realized a problem. Fang Xuyu seemed to have no friends?
"Don't you have any friends?" Apart from seeing him and a classmate going to class together a long time ago, and Zhong Maner, whom I met twice, I hardly saw that he had any other social circle.
"I don't need it." He said it very confidently. I guessed that Fang Chongyan would hand over the business to him. It would be different from the extracurricular life of ordinary students, but it would not mean that he would have to do everything by himself.
I sat down next to him and remembered that there were still a few candies in his schoolbag, which were given by July . She went to see my mother once and was found to have cigarettes and a lighter in her bag. My mother advised her and she listened and started to quit smoking and eat candies.
I laughed at her for being so obedient, and July said something that made me feel sad.
She said, if I had a father and a mother, I would probably be a very cute girl like you.
"I don't mean anything, I'm just giving you a few." I spread my palms in front of Fang Xuyu, thinking that he would not accept them. Unexpectedly, he glanced at me, said nothing, and took the candies away.
I shrugged, clasped my hands together, and smiled awkwardly: "I thought you would laugh at me."
"I have another question. Where did you get my number when you called me out last time?" I remember that I never told him my contact information. It was understandable that he waited in front of the cafeteria when he asked me to go to Fang Chongyan's house, but where did he get the number?
He tilted his head and looked at me, my confused face reflected in his smiling eyes.
"Last time we had dinner, you went to the bedroom and your cell phone and schoolbag were left on the sofa," he said.
I remembered the last time he snatched the cup from me and poured it into his arms on the sofa, and I felt uncomfortable all over. He looked at my face which was gradually becoming more sour, but his mood inexplicably improved.
Forget it, no matter how much you try to guard against a villain, you can never guard against him. I said to myself.
