Chapter 4: The Night Without Faith Lu Shuang 02
Shen Yuxi walked in front of me and came to the balcony on the second floor of the KTV. This KTV happened to be built by the river. From this angle, you can see the flashing neon lights on the opposite bank, and the vehicles on the road are constantly flowing. The whole city looks very lively.
Shen Yuxi didn't look back at me, she just said in a cold voice, "Do you still have money to buy me a drink?"
I was stunned for a moment. I didn't expect that he was talking about this matter. The panic and resentment in my heart just dissipated a lot. After all, he was just worried about my current living conditions.
"I saved some money while working, and with the salary I just received, I have more money this month."
Actually, this month, thanks to Shen Yuxi, life is indeed better. But in the future, tuition and living expenses will also be a large expense, so I really shouldn't treat everyone.
But I know that in this society where favors are important, my invitation to this dinner may bring me a lot of convenience in the future.
Shen Yuxi seemed to see through my thoughts at a glance , and her eyes became more severe: "How old are you this year?"
I flinched and took a step back: "I'll be an adult in a month."
Shen Yuxi looked at me like a teacher who was extremely disappointed with his students. That look with a hint of boredom made people feel chilled.
"You're not even an adult yet, why are you so eager to learn all these twists and turns? Do you want to be a capable person, or just a seasoned veteran in the workplace?"
I didn't expect Shen Yuxi to say that, and for a moment I couldn't think of anything to say in response.
"If you want to become the latter, I've misjudged you and you'd better pack up and leave the newspaper as soon as possible." Shen Yuxi always spoke so mercilessly, like a sharp knife cutting into the body, every word piercing the flesh.
I pursed my lips and clenched my fists. It took me a long time to defend myself: "Do you think I want to be like this? It's the days of not having enough food to eat, not having enough clothes to wear, and not knowing where to live tomorrow that forced me to be like this! You must think Yu Nansheng is very good, but if she and I exchanged our lives, she might not be alive today."
Having said that, a sarcastic smile appeared on the corner of my mouth.
Seeing that Shen Yuxi didn't answer immediately, I continued, "Reporter Shen, please accept me as your apprentice. I promise not to go through all those twists and turns . My talent is definitely not worse than Yu Nansheng's. Let's compete fairly. You may know in the future who will become the capable person."
Hearing this, Shen Yuxi's frown tightened. He looked at me with an indescribable severity in his eyes: "Lu Shuang, do you know what's wrong with you?"
I was stunned for a moment. I didn't expect him to ask me this, and I couldn't answer for a moment.
Problem? I have a bad personality and a deep mind. Is that a problem?
"You have closed yourself off in hatred towards this society and the world. You feel that those who are better off than you owe you something. You even look down on them from the bottom of your heart because they have not experienced your pain." Shen Yuxi's eyes gradually became sharp, and when they fell on me, I felt frightened.
After a pause, he continued, "But have you ever thought that this puts you directly on the opposite side of Yu Nansheng. You said that she stands on the moral high ground and has a narrow perspective, which is true, but looking back at yourself, you are the same. You look at the world with your narrow and dark heart, and everything can only be gray, and you can never be fair and just. Yu Nansheng is at least trying, but what about you? Not only can you not see your own problems, but you also find fault with others all day long.
"Your victory this time was just luck. Your narrow-minded vision only gives people the appearance of having a profound view of things. Over time, you will only be corrupted by your own thinking, and eventually become nothing." Shen Yuxi spoke calmly, but every word seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, pressing me so hard that I couldn't breathe.
To be honest, his words were like a blow to me, and I was in a daze.
He was right. I had always thought I had a thorough understanding of society, but in fact I only saw the darkest side of everything. I closed my heart and could not receive any sunshine.
Seeing that I seemed to have come to my senses, Shen Yuxi said, "I'm leaving first. Tell Sister Lin." Then she turned and walked back to the corridor, and finally disappeared at the end of the corridor, leaving me standing there alone, staring at the city lights, unable to recover from my shock.
Shen Yuxi is really a very special person to me. Every time he says something harsh to me, I never feel any resistance to him. Instead, I think what he says is right.
He is also very thorough and accurate in judging people, and can always see through me at a glance.
Even though I have always prided myself on having worked hard in society for many years, I am still like a child in front of him.
After a gust of cold wind, I squatted down on the ground unconsciously, hugged my knees with both hands, and a feeling of sourness suddenly came over me.
In fact, I really tried hard to get his approval. I really hoped to prove with my actions that his help was not wrong and his efforts were rewarded. But what should I do? I disappointed him again.
When I thought of his eyes, I felt like a thorn was buried in my heart, and the pain was not too deep or too shallow.
However, I can't seem to correct the faults he pointed out to me.
I seem to have completely lost my trust in this world.
This fact makes me laugh. It turns out that it is more difficult to accept that this world also has a warm and bright side than to face the dark side of this society. It is really more difficult for me to live with hope and brightness than to die.
Maybe it’s because I’ve really seen hell.
