Chapter 4: Deja Vu (5)
After returning to the Grand Tutor's Mansion from the Prime Minister's Mansion, Ziheng has been thinking about Yinyin. Every move of Yinyin is so unforgettable in his mind!
Why? Didn't I swear that I would never have another woman in my heart? But why did her every move shake me? Was it because her actions were like Shu'er? No, it couldn't be. No, she was not Shu'er. She just had the same actions as Shu'er. Just like Wei'er, although she looked exactly like Shu'er, she was not Shu'er...
Ziheng thought about it over and over again, but Yinyin's shadow still lingered in his mind. But if he knew that Yinyin was the real Shu'er, would he still blame himself like this? Unable to suppress his emotions, Ziheng ran to the restaurant and drank a lot of wine, first one cup after another, and then one jar after another, from dusk to late at night...
Since Ziheng returned to the [Taishi Mansion], Wei'er noticed that Ziheng was different, so she followed him out, but she only saw Ziheng getting drunk! After spending some time with Ziheng, Wei'er found that Ziheng was a very loyal, serious, gentle and considerate person. What on earth could make him so upset? What on earth happened to Ziheng during this period when she didn't know?
It was not until Ziheng was drunk and lying on the table that Weier came to Ziheng's side...
No matter how Wei'er called Ziheng, he didn't respond. He kept muttering Shu'er's name. Wei'er had no choice but to ask someone to send Ziheng back to the [Grand Tutor's Mansion]. It was already midnight when they got back to the [Grand Tutor's Mansion]. Except for the people who were on night watch, almost everyone had fallen asleep. Wei'er struggled to help Ziheng back to his room, which was away from the crowd. Seeing Ziheng's frustrated look, Wei'er couldn't help but feel a little sympathetic...
"Shu'er! Don't go--"
"It's all my fault, it's all my fault—"
"I will protect you. I will definitely protect you!!"
"Shu'er——"
"I love you, I really love you, Shu'er!"
Ziheng kept mumbling, while Weier kept wiping him with clean water...
A single man and a single woman being in the same room may not be a big deal in modern times, but it was different in ancient times. However, Wei'er still ignores the worldly affairs and takes care of Ziheng!
I don't know how long it took, Ziheng seemed to be somewhat sober. He opened his eyes and saw Wei'er changing the wet wipes on his head. Looking at Wei'er, Ziheng suddenly grabbed her hand, called out Shu'er's name, and pressed her under him. Wei'er was anxious and tried to push Ziheng away, but she didn't expect that a weak woman like her could not possibly surpass the strength of a man who practiced martial arts?
"Shu'er, I love you——"
Ziheng began to kiss Wei'er while calling Shu'er's name. His voice was gentle, but his hands were rough. He pressed Wei'er's hands tightly on both sides, making her unable to move!
"Stop! Please, don't do this—"
No matter how Wei'er screamed, Ziheng did not stop his actions. He put Wei'er's hands on the pillow and untied Wei'er's belt with one hand...
"I love you--" He tore off Wei'er's clothes, said I love you, and gently kissed Wei'er's tender lips, which made Wei'er's resistance seem a little powerless!
Kissing Wei'er's neck and body, his movements were so gentle that Wei'er's screams became somewhat quiet and weak... Letting go of Wei'er's hands, Ziheng took off his clothes. Seeing Ziheng who was not like usual, Wei'er's tears slid down her face...
"Shu'er——"
Calling Shu'er's name, touching Wei'er's skin, kissing Wei'er's chest, he was about to break the last line of defense...
Wei Er cried and said: "I am not Shu Er——"
Wei'er's weak, helpless and sad voice made Ziheng suddenly wake up and stop his actions. Looking up at Wei'er who seemed familiar yet strange, Ziheng seemed to suddenly realize and left Wei'er very soberly...
Wei'er cried and trembled, seeming so fragile and helpless, her whole body naked in front of Ziheng. Looking at the messy clothes on the floor, he knew what he had just done without thinking. Although his pants were still there, doing such a thing to a woman was simply worse than an animal. Ziheng knelt in front of the bed in an instant...
"sorry--"
Ziheng's voice was full of self-blame and guilt. He couldn't find any reason to defend himself at all, and his expression was as dead as death!
Wei'er didn't say anything, because her voice was dominated by the crying...
I cried for a long time, and Ziheng knelt for a long time...
The sky gradually brightened...and there was no sound in the room at all?
The morning light was a bit dazzling. He turned his head to look at the window and accidentally saw the sword on the table by the window. Ziheng stood up, walked to the window, drew his sword, and when he thought of his own behavior, he put the sword to his neck, ready to commit suicide...
"…Will your death solve anything?"
Wei'er, who was lying on the bed, sat up at some point and was putting her clothes back on!
"…What else can I do if I don't die? I actually did something worse than an animal. I am sorry for you and Shu'er. In a world without Shu'er, there is no meaning in living. Now that I have done something like this, why should I live in shame?!"
Ziheng looked determined and raised his sword without hesitation!
"...How much do you love her?"
"She is my everything, my everything. I love her so much that there is no room for any other woman in my heart. I love her so much that I would even give up my own life. Loving her is more important than anything else—"
Ziheng's answer was so straightforward, without any hesitation, which only made Lin Wei even sadder.
"...Where is she now?"
I knew that Ziheng had someone in his heart, but I didn't expect him to answer so straightforwardly. This made Weier a little jealous! ?
"Where is he? I don't know. Maybe he is still alive, or maybe he is no longer alive—"
Ziheng felt extremely frustrated at the thought that he had no idea whether Shu'er was alive or dead!
"Then you shouldn't die. You should live well until you find her!"
I've heard Ziheng say before that we might never see each other again in this life, but the complexity seems unpredictable?
Ziheng hesitated. Should he live? Should he look for her? But how should he look for her? Where is she now? How can he look for her if he doesn't know anything? Putting down the sword and falling into deep thought, Wei'er stopped talking when she saw Ziheng in distress, but her expression was so sad and lost.
The day passed in a blur. I had no idea when Weier left or when I changed my clothes.
By the time Ziheng had figured it out, he had already arrived at Wei'er's door. He knocked, but no one answered? Ziheng might understand Wei'er's feelings. She might not have forgiven , so he had no choice but to say hello and barge in...
I couldn't sense anyone in the deserted room, let alone Wei'er. Since she wasn't there, I could only come back later. When I left, I vaguely saw someone lying in the inner hall through the gauze curtain? Was it an illusion? It shouldn't be. I'll confirm it first. I walked in and opened the gauze curtain, and a shocking scene appeared...
Wei'er fell in a pool of blood, with the broken pieces of the cup in her right hand and blood gushing from her left wrist. There were also broken pieces of vase scattered on the ground beside her... Ziheng rushed in without thinking and helped Wei'er up. He shouted desperately, but got no response. He lay on Wei'er's chest and listened to her weak heartbeat. Ziheng hurriedly carried Wei'er to the bed, tore off his clothes, and put an emergency bandage on Wei'er. After bandaging her, he immediately ran outside to call for help!
Knowing that Wei'er had committed suicide by slitting her wrists, the entire [Grand Tutor's Mansion] suddenly panicked and called in a bunch of imperial doctors to treat Wei'er. Upon hearing the news, the Emperor also sent the imperial doctors from the palace to order that Wei'er must be revived...
After a long period of rescue, Wei'er finally saved her life. Fortunately, she was found in time, otherwise even gods would have difficulty saving her. After she was out of danger, the people gradually left. Ziheng stayed alone to look after Wei'er. During the time, Taishi and Jiang Ruting came to visit her, but they left soon, perhaps because they felt that they should not disturb Ziheng and Wei'er...
Another day passed, and although the color on Wei'er's face had recovered somewhat, she still hadn't woken up! Ziheng complained a lot...
Why would a good woman risk going through the gates of hell? If he hadn't accidentally attached himself to Zhao Ziheng's body, maybe Wei'er would have been in love with the real Zhao Ziheng. If he hadn't done that, maybe Wei'er would still be living a happy life now...
Ziheng thought a lot and was completely absorbed in his thoughts.
I didn't even know that Wei'er had woken up.
"……I'm alive?"
Wei'er's weak and sad voice rang in Ziheng's ears.
"Uh, you awake?"
Wei'er's voice brought Ziheng back to reality.
"Why don't you let me die?"
Wei'er said painfully.
"…You told me not to commit suicide, so why did you commit suicide yourself? If you died, how could I live my life in peace?"
"Then what's the point of me living? Ziheng is no longer the same Ziheng as before. Even in front of me, I can't feel that strangeness. Do you know what that feeling is? It's worse than death--"
Wei'er's tears flowed from the corners of her eyes.
The person I like is right in front of me but I can't touch him.
Clearly know each other yet feel like a stranger.
I don’t know how far this distance between knowing each other and being strangers is. Which one will be more painful?
Ziheng was silent for a long time.
Wei continued to look at the roof, crying.
--Shortly after--
"Weier——"
This was the first time Ziheng called out Wei'er's name, he usually called her Miss Lin!
Wei'er was a little shocked, but she couldn't change her sadness...
"Let's get married——"
The words "Let's get married" instantly stopped Wei'er's tears! Did I hear it wrong?
