Fate played a joke on me. Lin Xiaolun and I went south and north respectively, going in opposite directions and drifting further and further apart. From that time on, Lin Xiaolun would only appear in my dreams. I couldn't meet him day and night. When we finally met, it was so painful that it almost suffocated me.

In this early autumn when the leaves are falling, I wore a brown long windbreaker for the first time.
I am 1.65 meters tall. Although I am not as tall as Ding Chuchu who is 1.7 meters tall, my own conditions are enough to make some girls envious .
Lin Xiaolun, just wait, the scholarship for our class this semester will definitely be mine, and you will be mine too, sooner or later.
"Class 3, Grade 12, Engineering Management has a physical education class in the afternoon." Yangyang, who likes Korean pop music, helped me find out the class schedule for Lin Xiaolun's class.
"They are preparing for the campus basketball game next semester, so the entire physical education class will be held in the basketball hall," Yangyang's partner Pei Ya added.
"Not bad." I gave them a thumbs up.
That’s right, my plan this afternoon is to confess my feelings in the basketball hall. Lin Xiaolun, just wait to be hit by Cupid’s arrow.
We had no classes in the afternoon, so Ding Chuchu accompanied me into the basketball hall.
The team that was practicing was Lin Xiaolun's class and a team from another department. I heard that they would have a basketball game with other schools when school started next semester, so the physical education teacher was selecting the players.
I searched for Lin Xiaolun in the crowd but couldn't find him. Ding Chuchu and I found him on the basketball court from the audience. Ding Chuchu laughed at me for not checking the calendar before going out and making a wasted trip.
"Qin Le." Lin Xiaolun's voice suddenly sounded from above.
When I looked up, I saw Lin Xiaolun standing in the audience, a basketball under his arm and a malicious smile on his face.
"What are you going to do?" I had a bad feeling. Using a basketball to scare me was Lin Xiaolun's favorite thing to do when he was a kid. He had hit me with it more than once or twice .
Lin Xiaolun narrowed his eyes, pointed the basketball at me and said, "Let's see if your karate has improved." After that, he threw the basketball to me without hesitation.
When other people throw the basketball, it is in a perfect arc, but when Lin Xiaolun throws the basketball, it is in a straight line.
Are you kidding me? I never kicked a basketball away. My karate skills are only for self-defense.
I was so scared that I quickly covered my head and hid behind Ding Chuchu.
With a "bang", the basketball hit Ding Chuchu.
Ding Chuchu cried out in pain.
I opened my eyes and saw cold sweat on Ding Chuchu's forehead. She was slightly bent over, with her hands in a volleyball position, and there were two red marks on her wrists.
Lin Xiaolun in the audience was stunned and ran down in a hurry.
I looked at Ding Chuchu worriedly and said, "Chuchu..."
Ding Chuchu gritted her teeth, slowly squatted down, and said painfully: "It hurts so much."
"Ding Chuchu." Lin Xiaolun ran over and looked at Ding Chuchu squatting on the ground, frowning and apologetically. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to scare Lele, I didn't mean it, are you okay?"
"You're so boring!" I scolded Lin Xiaolun angrily, and then helped Ding Chuchu up.
Ding Chuchu endured the pain and smiled at me: "It's okay, don't forget why you are here today."
After hearing this, Lin Xiaolun looked at me curiously.
I glared at him: "What are you looking at? I came here to see if you were slacking off today. Why don't you go practice?"
Lin Xiaolun grabbed Ding Chuchu's arm and asked with concern: "Are you okay?"
"It's okay." Ding Chuchu smiled at him, "It just hurts a little when I caught the ball just now. Oh, by the way, Lele has something to tell you."
I stood there, silent.
Ding Chuchu secretly pushed me, and I spoke very reluctantly: "Lin Xiaolun, I..."
"Lin Xiaolun!" The coach on the basketball court shouted over here, "Where's the mineral water I asked you to buy for everyone? Don't just focus on picking up girls and forget about your business."
My words were interrupted just like that, and what was interrupted was when I was about to confess. I was very angry.
I turned around and said to the coach impatiently, "If I don't pick up girls, then why should I pick up you? Teacher, you are so nosy."
"Is the little girl angry?" The coach teased me with a smile, not realizing that he had ruined someone else's good thing.
"Le Le, what's wrong with you?" Lin Xiaolun asked me.
"Nothing." I held Ding Chuchu's hand, "I'll take Chuchu to get checked first."
After saying that, I held Ding Chuchu's hand and left without looking back. Ding Chuchu was right, I really didn't check the calendar before leaving the house today.
"Hey." After walking out of the basketball hall, Ding Chuchu asked me unhappily, "You're not going to confess?"
"Why rush? There's a long way to go." Although he said that, the lost expression on his face betrayed me.
Ding Chuchu patted my shoulder and winked at me: "Then let's go back and make new plans?"
I pretended to be calm and asked her, "What else can you do?"
"The mountain man has his own clever plan." Ding Chuchu smiled mysteriously and said confidently.
I still believe in her. If I were fighting alone, Lin Xiaolun would definitely not believe me. He would definitely say, "Qin Le, are you mentally healthy? What nonsense are you talking about?"
I never thought that one day I would become so unconfident.
I was the only one in the classroom. 10 minutes after class, Ding Chuchu called me and said that Lin Xiaolun was coming out of the counselor's office and asked me to stop him at the stairs.
When I heard this, I quickly put down the book in my hand, stood up and ran to the stairs. I could vaguely hear Lin Xiaolun humming a little tune upstairs, and he seemed to be in a good mood.
I called softly, "Lin Xiaolun?"
Lin Xiaolun just happened to appear at the corner of the stairs. He saw me standing below with a mysterious look on my face and asked with a smile, "What are you doing?"
"I have something to tell you." I put my hands behind my back and stood on tiptoe.
"That's great. I have something to tell you too." Lin Xiaolun walked down the stairs and stood on a step higher than me, looking down at me.
I was secretly delighted. Could it be that he was going to confess his feelings to me as well? This would be the best, as it would save me the trouble of saying anything.
"You speak first." I said with a smile.
Lin Xiaolun placed his hands on my shoulders and slowly leaned down.
I lowered my head involuntarily, feeling a little shy.
Lin Xiaolun leaned close to my ear and whispered, "You and Ding Chuchu are good friends, can you help me pursue her?"
My smile froze on my face, and my head made a buzzing sound, and I couldn't recover for a long time.
I quickly adjusted my expression, licked my lips, and asked, "Are you kidding me?"
"I'm not kidding." Lin Xiaolun said seriously. He took a step to the side, leaned on the handrail of the stairs, raised his head slightly, and said, "I don't know why, but I suddenly had feelings for her. You know? When I saw how brave she was when she saved you, I was inexplicably touched ." Lin Xiaolun said, and suddenly frowned at me, "You don't understand even if I tell you, so just tell me whether you will help me or not?"
I lowered my head, a little caught off guard.
In a trance, I felt that what he just said was just a dream, and everything would be over after waking up.
Seeing that I didn't say anything, Lin Xiaolun called me: "Lele?"
I came back to my senses, and when I spoke, my voice became hoarse: "Huh?"
"Are you okay?" Lin Xiaolun looked anxious and put his hand on my forehead.
I stared at Lin Xiaolun as he put his other hand on his forehead, comparing our body temperatures.
Lin Xiaolun, I wonder if you can feel the coldness spreading from my heart to my limbs?
it's too cold.
But today's sunshine is clearly very warm.
"Lin Xiaolun, let me ask you again, are you really serious? You like Ding Chuchu and want me to help you pursue her? " I asked again and again, hoping to get the answer I wanted.
"Well, don't..." Lin Xiaolun grabbed my hand, "Don't tell her directly, first help me find out how she feels about me, and then I can take action accordingly."
Good job, Lin Xiaolun.
I cursed Lin Xiaolun many times in my heart. You succeeded. You made the courage that I had built up for so long collapse completely.
That is my strongest feeling towards you.
I tilted my head slightly to meet the sunlight behind me, using it to shield my wet eyes, and said, "Lin Xiaolun, don't regret it."
Lin Xiaolun put his arm around my shoulders from behind and said encouragingly, "Thank you. 18 years of relationship is reliable." After that, Lin Xiaolun jumped down the stairs happily, singing as he walked out of the teaching building.
Lin Xiaolun, you are wrong. The 18-year relationship is not only unreliable, but has also slowly changed.
I stepped out of the sunlight and into the shadows.
I sat down slowly, hugged myself tightly, and suddenly felt helpless.
How should I tell Ding Chuchu about this? How can I get along with Ding Chuchu as intimately as before?
Lin Xiaolun, you not only deprived me of the right to like you, you also took away my only good friend.
I sobbed softly and wiped away my tears randomly. The sadness surged and drowned my body and soul.
Suddenly, a hand was placed on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw it was Guo Lu. He sat down next to me and seemed to want to comfort me, but he didn't know what to say.
I looked at him with tears on my face and gestured to him to keep quiet with my shaking hands. Guo Lu nodded and patted my back gently.
I hid at the stairs and cried for half an hour, my eyes were swollen like walnuts.
I don’t know if Guo Lu saw what happened between Lin Xiaolun and me. I asked him not to tell Lin Xiaolun that I cried.
Whatever Lin Xiaolun wants, I will go through fire and water to get it for him.
Ding Chuchu called me to ask how things were going, and I told her that I had given up.
When I faced Lin Xiaolun, I didn't have the courage to ask. From childhood to adulthood, I always said that I liked him in a joking way, didn't I?
I never dared to express my feelings to him seriously, never.
I haven't contacted Lin Xiaolun in the past few days, nor have I asked Ding Chuchu how she feels about Lin Xiaolun.
I was typing away on the keyboard, and Lin Xiaolun's portrait started flashing in the lower right corner of the computer screen.
"Did you ask Ding Chuchu?"
I frowned and asked Ding Chuchu: "Lin Xiaolun asked you how you feel about him?"
"Ah?" Ding Chuchu, who was wearing a facial mask, was confused.
Sometimes, words that are difficult to express become easy to express when given an opportunity.
I stretched and said, "Lin Xiaolun asked you how you felt about him, and he seemed to like you."
Yangyang and Pei Ya almost fell to the ground because of this sentence, but Ding Chuchu stared at the computer screen seriously and replied lightly: "Oh."
"I can't convey your answer to Lin Xiaolun." I said a little seriously.
"Is he asking me out?" Ding Chuchu said, tapping her slender fingers on the keyboard, as if replying to the message Lin Xiaolun sent her.
I unwrapped an Alps lollipop and popped it into my mouth, asking in a slurred voice, "Are you coming to the appointment?"
"Why not?" Ding Chuchu said with a smile, "It would be meaningless if I refused to participate in such a dramatic event."
I frowned and asked in confusion: "Ding Chuchu, tell me the truth, do you also have a crush on Lin Xiaolun?"
Ding Chuchu looked at me deeply and said softly, "If you don't like him, I will definitely take the initiative to pursue him."
I suddenly felt stuffy in the dormitory.
I jumped off the chair , walked to the balcony, strolled around, then walked back into the dormitory. I said to Ding Chuchu like crazy, "Isn't it just an appointment? Just go. It's not a big deal. You can ask me anything you want to know about Lin Xiaolun."
Ding Chuchu looked at me suspiciously: "You haven't given up on Lin Xiaolun, have you? This is not like you."
"Heh." I sneered, crossed my arms, and leaned against the wall. "I tried to confess so many times, but every time I couldn't say it. I also doubted whether I had given up on Lin Xiaolun. You said, from childhood to adulthood, I have never come into contact with other boys except Lin Xiaolun. Is my view and understanding of boys too limited?"
Ding Chuchu laughed so hard that her body trembled: "Are you saying that there is only Lin Xiaolun in your world? Stop joking."
"I'm not kidding, I'm serious." I got anxious and explained, "It's Lin Xiaolun who always receives love letters from other girls. Whenever a boy approaches me, I will show my karate stance to intimidate him, saying that I have Lin Xiaolun. So from childhood to adulthood, except for Lin Xiaolun, except for my father and his father, I have never come into contact with other men. Is there something wrong with my brain?"
Ding Chuchu's expression suddenly became serious, and she stared at the computer screen in a daze.
"What are you doing? I'm talking to you." I walked over and said.
Ding Chuchu said: "It's okay, I'm just thinking about a question."
I deliberately teased her: "Are you thinking about what to wear for your date tomorrow?"
Ding Chuchu looked up at me for a long time, then smiled and asked, "Lele, am I a very good friend to you?"
I straightened up and thought about this question.
Even though Lin Xiaolun told me that he had a crush on Ding Chuchu, I once doubted whether I could continue to maintain my friendship with Ding Chuchu. In the end, I concluded that this could not become a barrier between Ding Chuchu . As long as I respect Ding Chuchu's ideas and build my own protective layer, I can always spend time to slowly forget all this.
I held up my little finger and said firmly, "Yes."
Ding Chuchu smiled, stretched out her hand and hooked my little finger, saying: "Then I'd like to ask for your forgiveness here first. If I accidentally do something wrong in the future, please forgive me. You must believe that I am doing this for your own good."
I narrowed my eyes, took my hand back, and said with disdain, "Forgive you, forgive you, you are so nagging."
Ding Chuchu was very satisfied with my answer. She stood up, opened the closet, and said to herself, "Then I'll think about what to wear tomorrow."
My heart skipped a beat, and I quickly turned my face away and crawled onto the bed: "Wear solid colors, Lin Xiaolun likes it."
"Okay... Thank you Lele." Ding Chuchu took out a white dress and walked to the fitting mirror to try it on again and again.
I put down the mosquito net, squeezed into the bed, and whispered, "Chu Chu, good night."
Ding Chuchu seemed not to hear it and was just looking at herself in the mirror.
It’s already so beautiful, why do I have to look at it so many times?
I felt really bad, and then I felt guilty for having such malicious thoughts. It turns out that this is how my friends feel when they go out with the person they like.
How pitiful.
I curled up, closed my eyes, and my tears soaked my pillowcase.