Chapter 32: The Reality in Another State
I felt a sudden pain and woke up with a start.
I saw the monk holding a wooden hammer. I felt pain on my head and when I touched it, I felt a bump. It seemed that the monk gave me a wooden hammer. It hurt.
"What are you doing?"
The third uncle came in.
"How did I tell you? That's Hao Fei's soul. You can't get close to it, let alone hold hands."
"So what should I do?"
"Tell her that you don't love her. You love Bai Jie. Do you understand?"
“This, this…”
"Are you reluctant? Afraid of hurting her? I tell you, she exists in another world. If you can't resist, just go with her. You will no longer exist in this world. Your master will personally cremate you and make an urn for you."
The third uncle glared at me.
“It’s really hard for me to say this.”
It was indeed difficult for me to speak. It was such a beautiful thing, I really didn't want to destroy it. What's more, Hao Fei loved only me until his death.
It's really hard for me to do it.
"If you can't do it, then forget it. Bai Jie will be entangled to death, and you will also be yin and yang, and your death will not be much later than Bai Jie."
Monk Liao Liao seemed very angry.
"Go back and think it over. Think it through clearly. This matter must be ended. No matter what, if you don't have the determination, forget it."
The third uncle and I went down the mountain, and he was very angry.
I still couldn't make a decision. Bai Jie was here, and I didn't feel like talking. How could I tell her this? Should I tell her I couldn't let go of Hao Fei? That would be asking for trouble. Bai Jie, although honest, could tickle me to death if she got angry.
I need to make a decision on this matter as soon as possible. After Bai Jie left, I tossed and turned in my room, but I couldn't make a decision.
Hao Fei and I were together for several years, until she was fourteen years old.
That year, we went to the grassland, which was our world. No one wanted to go there. The weeds were waist-high and there was no one there.
It was during the summer vacation of that year that Hao Fei and I made an appointment to go to the grassland. We walked to the middle, pulled out the grass, and made a clearing. We lay there, looking at the sky and the clouds slowly passing by. It was a real pleasure.
That day, Hao Fei said to me.
"Xiao Zuo, let's kiss!"
I was stupid at that time. I never thought about it. I was so stupid that I thought that happiness was just two people holding hands.
Hao Fei rolled on me and kissed me in the mouth. I was stunned and numb. It took me a long time to recover. We kissed. It smelled like grass. Only then did I know that Hao Fei had a smell of grass on his body. Many years later, I realized that it was body odor.
That day, in addition to kissing, I also touched Hao Fei's butt. I have never forgotten that fleshy butt. That was my first youth lesson in my ignorant youth, and Hao Fei taught me that lesson.
I've never told anyone about it, only in my memories.
The next day, I went to Hao Fei's house and saw Hao Fei's father drinking.
"Xiao Zuo, you're here. I've been waiting for you. Take all the amber necklaces made by Hao Fei."
"this……"
"If she says it's for you, you take it."
I finished drinking with Hao Fei's father. I came here just to see how Hao Fei spent his last days here. I didn't know how to make up my mind.
I took away three hundred amber necklaces made by Hao Fei. Each one was exquisite and made with great care. I had no idea how she completed them or when she started.
I put the amber necklace in a wooden box and kept it.
In the evening, Bai Jie's father came.
"Xiao Zuo, Bai Jie fainted again."
I closed my eyes and it seemed I had to make a decision.
The third uncle was drinking and enjoying himself in the house.
After Bai Jie's father left, I told the third uncle.
"I've decided to go to Gol Mountain right away."
"It's long overdue."
The third uncle and I went up the mountain. Monk Le Le was very unhappy, but he didn't say anything. I went back into the house and sat cross-legged, and Monk Le Le said.
"If you do it again, I can't control you, and your uncle won't control you either."
I really don't like this monk Liao Liao.
I saw Hao Fei again, trying to control my emotions, I was afraid I couldn't control myself. Hao Fei stretched out his hand again, I wanted to hold it so much, to pull it again, even just once, but I didn't.
I stood there and closed my eyes. I didn't want to see Hao Fei's beautiful face, and the face that was familiar to me yet seemed a little strange.
"Hao Fei, I don't love you. Please let Bai Jie go. She is my favorite."
I didn't hear any sound, and I don't know what Hao Fei's expression was at the moment. It should be shock, distortion, and resentment.
When I opened my eyes, Hao Fei was no longer in front of me, but there were bloody footprints on the road where she walked, one by one, which was shocking to me.
I didn't know what happened. I woke up again and was also woken up by a knock.
"Can't you just not use that thing?"
Monk Liao Liao used a wooden hammer again.
He actually ignored me. I didn't expect it to take that long. From beginning to end, it was just over four hours and it was all over.
They didn't say anything and asked me to go home. I asked them but they didn't say anything. The third uncle just said yes and told me to tell him tomorrow.
When I got to work, Master Yunzheng asked me how I was doing. I was stunned. I didn't expect that Master Yunzheng also knew about this.
I asked Zhao Tie to go to the refining room first and light the furnace.
"I came here today to ask you about that."
"Master, it's okay, but they didn't tell me what happened."
"It's good that you're alright. I'll be more careful next time."
I entered the refining room and glanced at Zhao Tie.
"You're going to the morgue today."
I can't express my feelings today. I'm extremely confused. Hao Fei is gone just like that. What happened to those bloody footprints? Why didn't they tell me?
The third uncle went back to the county, so it seems that I can only find the monk Lele. Even though I don’t like it, I still want to know, how is Hao Fei?
Zhao Tie worked smoothly today and there were no accidents.
After get off work, I went to Bai Jie's place. She was fine, a little weak, but no major problems. I breathed a sigh of relief. However, this reminded me of Hao Fei. Was I doing this to Hao Fei? Although she existed in another state, she still existed, just like us humans, with her own life. She missed me and loved me in that other world. I regretted doing that. I should have insisted on holding her hand. As long as there was love, no matter what state she was in, it didn't matter. But now it might be too late.
When I got home, my father looked at me and didn't ask me too many questions. Maybe he knew that he couldn't solve such a problem and couldn't give me any advice.
I arrived at Gaolu Mountain at around five o'clock and went to find Monk Le Le. I was worried that if I arrived too late, he would go out to beg for alms.
Monk Le Le was sweeping the floor and didn't even look at me. I sat aside and waited until Monk Le Le finished sweeping.
"Master Liao Liao, what's going on with Hao Fei's bloody footprints?"
"That was the blood shed for you, the bloody road I walked for you. After you die, there will be a smooth road. She let go, letting go for love. She really loves you."
What Monk Le Le said made me feel so sad.
"When you have time, take good care of her only old father!"
Indeed, that’s all I can do. I didn’t expect that Hao Fei would do something for me at the last moment.
"Where did she go?"
"He's been reincarnated."
Monk Le Le entered the room.
I went to Hao Fei's grave in Huiyuan Township and sat there until dark, perhaps this would ease my guilt towards her.
When I got home that day, Bai Jie was at home and had already prepared dinner.
"Xiao Zuo, let's eat!"
I didn't ask about Hao Fei, maybe I didn't want to mention it. Since it's over, it's over.
Bai Jie learned makeup from Master Yi.
When I entered the office, Zhao Tie had already cleaned up the office and brought in a pot of flowers. I frowned, a boy was tidying up the flowers.
"Master, Master Liu Xiaojing sent it. She said the office was uncomfortable without flowers."
Liu Xiaoqing, a makeup artist in the dressing room, arrived here at about the same time as me, but she was a makeup artist, so we basically had no contact. We just nodded when we met, and I knew you were from the crematorium. It seemed that everyone here kept themselves closed, as if they were afraid that their inner world would be seen by others.
I don't know anything about Liu Xiaoqing. She sent flowers to me because of me. This is very likely.
That is a pot of Lycoris radiata, I know this kind of flower.
This flower usually grows next to graves and is also called the dead flower. It is another name for Lycoris radiata, which is the blood-red flower of the other shore.
Legend has it that this flower, known as the guiding flower, grows by the Sanzu River. Its fragrance is said to have magical powers, capable of awakening memories of the deceased.
Sanzu River, the name of the river in the underworld, is also called Zangtou River, Duhe River, Sanze River, and Santu River.
According to legend, the "Sanzu River" is the dividing line between the world of the living and the world of the dead.
Because the water flow can be divided into three types: slow, normal and fast according to the behavior of the deceased during his lifetime, it is called "Three Paths".
Legend has it that those who have committed heinous crimes will be tortured and reincarnated every three hundred years. When passing through the Santuo River, they will be intoxicated by the fragrance of the slowly blackening Lycoris radiata that has been entangled with them for three hundred years, and will have a beautiful dream about "the other side" and "the shore". This dream carries with it the expectations, desolation, anger, helplessness, despair and other intricate feelings buried deep in the heart about "the other side" and "the shore", so this dream also determines that person's life in the world.
I was a little unhappy that Liu Xiaojing gave me this pot of dead flowers. What did she mean?
The blood-red flower of the dead normally blooms in September, but it actually bloomed in May.
After entering the refining room, I asked Zhao Tie to light the furnace. I went into the morgue. As soon as I entered, I saw Liu Xiaojing inside, which scared me.
"Master Liu?"
"Oh, touch up, one of them is my friend's father."
Touching up your makeup is a rare thing, and it usually takes just one go.
Liu Xiaojing walked out from another door. The morgue had two doors. You could go out from one end and come in from the other. You couldn't walk backwards, as that would be unlucky and might even cause trouble. But Liu Xiaojing walked the other way, and she didn't seem to be afraid of that. When she walked to the door and opened it, she looked back at me and said.
"Master Ke, do you like that flower?"
Liu Xiaojing smiled at me, and that smile made me a little nervous. She left without waiting for my answer. The door swayed back and forth a few times before it stopped.
I carried the corpse onto the corpse cart, pushed it into the refining room, sat down, and lit a cigarette.
"Zhao Tie, come here. Remember everything I tell you. Don't make any mistakes or you'll get into trouble."
Zhao Tie nodded.
After taking a few puffs of my cigarette, I asked Zhao Tie.
"What brings you here?"
"Then why are you here?"
Zhao Tie asked me, I looked at him and spoke for a long time.
“I like dealing with people who can’t talk.”
"It's a formal job with a lot of work, so I don't have any other thoughts."
This guy is very realistic. Actually, I am the same. My father asked me to come here because of this job. Otherwise, this job is no different from other jobs, except...
It wasn't a smooth day. One of the bodies exploded, and the fire wasn't controlled well. The speed was too fast, and because of the dead bodies, a lot of gas was generated. That's nothing, but seeing the things that exploded everywhere was really...
Zhao Tie jumped out and vomited violently, probably trying to vomit out the food he had eaten ten years ago.
I also rolled over and over several times and managed to hold on. If Master Yunzheng were here, I would have vomited too. After all, I am the master, and humans are very strange animals.
After finishing, we returned to the office and saw the blood-red dead flower. I felt that today's bad luck was related to it. I vaguely felt that Liu Xiaojing had ulterior motives.
