Going out with friends on the weekend of senior year was fine, but drinking was also a bit hard to explain, so Xu Xilin's original intention was to "enter the village quietly without getting in the way", but he was exposed by his family's bird ancestor and Dou Xun. He had no choice but to drag Dou Xun upstairs with Aunt Du and Grandma nagging on both sides.

Aunt Du: "Watch out, don't drop him."

Xu Xilin quickly turned around and waved his hand: "It's okay, don't worry about it."

Seeing that someone was backing it up, the grey parrot kept its mouth shut, but Dou Xun refused to give up. Halfway up the stairs, he turned his head solemnly, stretched out two fingers, made a gun gesture, pointed at the grey parrot on the shelf and announced, "I'll shoot you."

After saying that, he "fired the gun". Considering the problem of recoil, he gestured to shoot and raised the "gun muzzle" upwards, then went upstairs arrogantly and coldly.

Xu Xilin: “…”

Impressed.

Dou Xun recognized the door after going upstairs, and walked into the room with half-open and half-closed eyes. He walked to the bed and fell down flat on his back like a coffin. Xu Xilin suspected that he had hit his head, so he rushed in to check. He saw that the red blush on Dou Xun's face from drinking had faded, and he was lying on his back on the bed with a pale face. His right hand was still "armed", and he was staring at the ceiling, firing shots at it.

Xu Xilin had seen drunk people crying, laughing, and acting crazy and annoying...but this was the first time he had seen someone shooting around without saying a word.

Xu Xilin worked on him until he was sweating. He sat down on a chair beside him and fanned himself with a thin notebook. After waiting for three minutes, he saw that Dou Xun had no intention of stopping. He was so amused that he teased him in a frivolous way: "Douxian'er, who are you going to shoot?"

Comrade Dou Xun has a firm revolutionary will. Even though he has drunk as much as the sharpshooter Zorro, he still keeps his mouth shut and it is easy to get anyone to tell him something.

Xu Xilin moved a chair over and used a book to fan Dou Xun, briefly attracting his dull eyes.

Xu Xilin: "Do you still recognize me?"

Dou Xun said nothing.

Xu Xilin started to have evil thoughts and took advantage of him casually: "I'm your brother, call me 'brother' for me to hear."

Dou Xun stared at him for a while with a confused look on his face, as if he was recalling when he had a brother, and he was in a state of not knowing whether to call him or not. Xu Xilin then pressed the issue: "You don't have to call me brother, just call me dad."

Dou Xun's face changed when he heard that, and he pointed at Xu Xilin's forehead and said, "I'll kill you."

Xu Xilin first laughed so hard that he slapped the bed. After laughing for a while, he slowly figured out the unpleasant feeling of the shot and couldn't laugh anymore.

Xu Xilin: "Your father and your mother..."

Dou Xun had no expression on his face as he accurately shot him twice - it seemed that he was not shooting randomly, but aiming at heads. Xu Xilin propped up his head and looked at him for a while. He had no idea how much anger he had in his heart as he had been shooting for such a long time but still hadn't finished killing.

Xu Xilin had always thought that Dou Xun was irritable and willful, but now he realized that it was all the result of his restraint.

He hates society so much that if he doesn't restrain himself, he might have organized a school shooting.

Xu Xilin asked softly, "Where's Xu Xilin? Was he also shot?"

Dou Xun heard this and poked his index finger on his forehead, staring at him without blinking, but he did not raise the "gun muzzle" as if he had fired the gun. A faint smell of alcohol wafted out, and Xu Xilin smelled it for a while and felt a little dizzy.

After an unknown amount of time of stalemate, Dou Xun suddenly showed a look of pain on his face. He suddenly threw his hands aside, turned over heavily in a huff, and struggled on the bed for a while, not knowing where it hurt. He first pressed his chest randomly, then his stomach, and then turned himself to lie on his side, with his back to Xu Xilin, curled up like a big shrimp.

Xu Xilin sat quietly beside for a while, understanding the body language - you make me very painful, but I am reluctant to kill you like I would other pains, so I have to endure it half-dead.

Xu Xilin suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He put down the notebook he was using to fan himself and slowly reached out to hold Dou Xun's hand. The drunkard's body temperature was very high and it was hot. He pulled gently and Dou Xun, who had been unable to control himself just now, actually turned around obediently following his strength.

Xu Xilin held his other hand in the air for a long time, then carefully placed it on Dou Xun's neck, and gently touched his face. Dou Xun immediately narrowed his eyes sensitively and rubbed his hand subconsciously.

Xu Xilin somehow remembered what Dou Xun did last time when he "tested whether he had a fever". He pursed his lips slightly and asked Dou Xun: "Do you have a fever?"

Dou Xun used a little strength to hold his hand back.

Xu Xilin hesitated for a moment, and found a "legitimate reason" in his mind: "I'm just afraid that he has a fever."

As he thought about this, he put his lips on Dou Xun's forehead. The only temperature-testing skill Xu Xilin had in his life was using a thermometer. He had no idea of ​​the temperature, and his hands were useless, so his mouth was naturally not very smart. It was conceivable that he could not test out anything, but he felt a strange intimacy in this position.

Xu Xilin's heartbeat suddenly accelerated, and began to beat wildly.

Just then, footsteps were heard outside.

The stairwell was paved with wooden floors, which made a creaking sound when people stepped on them. Xu Xilin was startled and looked up suddenly.

Aunt Du was concerned about the boy's age and how inconvenient it would be, so she would not come to their room unless necessary, and would call in advance if she needed to clean. At this moment, she just knocked on the door and said, "You can't lie down directly after drinking. Auntie made some warm honey water and yogurt and put them on the small table outside. Take whatever you like."

Xu Xilin quickly responded and wanted to go out to get it, but when he stood up, he found that Dou Xun was still holding his hand.

Xu Xilin whispered uncomfortably, "I'll go get something."

Dou Xun didn't know whether he understood or not, he still held him tightly, his fingers slightly lighter. Xu Xilin pulled his hand away, and Dou Xun's expression dimmed.

Xu Xilin coughed dryly, not daring to look at him again. He quickly went out and grabbed a cup of something and stuffed it into Dou Xun's hand: "Drink it."

Then he went back to his room without looking back.

A small area on Xu Xilin's back was soaked with sweat, and there was a muscle in his neck that kept jumping around for some reason. When he blinked, a drop of sweat fell from the corner of his forehead and flowed down the bridge of his nose.

Xu Xilin was stunned for a while, took a half-cold battle bath, then returned to the desk, picked up Xu Jin's photo frame, and thought confusedly: "What should I do?"

After a while, he felt a little ridiculous. Even if his mother was still alive, he would not dare to ask her about this kind of thing openly. Now that his mother is gone, he actually began to rely on her belatedly.

Xu Xilin decided not to go to school, and first did a few papers to calm down. When he looked up after finishing, it was already past eleven o'clock. Aunt Du peeled the fruit, but she didn't dare to disturb him, so she put it in the living room at the door. It had oxidized and turned yellow. The difference between an aunt and a mother is that a mother will open the door and put down the fruit without hesitation.

Xu Xilin took two bites casually. He could drink quite well, but he would easily suffer from insomnia after drinking. He was obviously very tired. He tossed and turned in bed, but finally felt uneasy. He got up quietly, slipped into Dou Xun's room and took a look. He saw that he had fallen asleep obediently, with the empty cup aside. He also knew that he had covered himself with a thin quilt and his face looked normal. Only then did he feel relieved, and then left with a heavy heart.

He couldn't deceive himself, and he tossed and turned for half the night, feeling guilty about what he had just done. He thought about it for a long time, even considering what expression his grandmother would have if she knew about all this mess.

As the old saying goes, parents cannot accompany their children for a lifetime, and of course there is no hope for grandparents. Separation and death are inevitable. Some things can be kept secret for a while but not for a lifetime, but for grandma, that is enough for a while...and if grandma is gone in the future, he will really be left alone. Will anyone care about his sexual orientation?

When Xu Xilin thought of this, his feeling went from uneasy to desolate.

Everyone is a little hypocritical. People like Dou Xun who dare to give up everything are just indifferent because of years of disappointment. They may not feel comfortable in their hearts.

Xu Xilin's hypocrisy is more complicated. He has been getting everything he wants for too long, and has developed a greedy nature that is not too demanding, but does want to have everything. He wants to play with his classmates, but also pays attention to maintaining his grades. Relying on his cleverness, his grades are not outstanding, but he can still balance them... Over time, he feels that everything in the world can be like this.

Xu Xilin wanted to live a carefree life and didn't want to compromise himself, but he didn't dare to go against the norm completely, because he was used to being an excellent student who didn't need to worry about him. He was like a pet in captivity. Even without a rope tied around his neck, he would not defect to the wild. Xu Xilin wanted to have the best of both worlds, and wanted a happy ending that took all aspects into consideration. However, today, he found that he was unable to do so - he wanted Dou Xun, not homosexuality.

He wanted the boy who had walked with him through the gatherings and separations of this house, and he didn't want to be pointed at and stabbed in the back and called a pervert.

Xu Xilin was thinking about all sorts of things for a long time before he fell asleep in a daze. He had a chaotic dream. After waking up, he had forgotten everything, but he couldn't help feeling sad.

Although Dou Xun was really drunk that day, it was hard to say whether his memory was blacked out or not. Xu Xilin suspected that Dou Xun remembered everything that happened that day, because he increased the frequency of going home to three times a week - he signed up for a boxing gym in the community comprehensive gym.

The gym requires an annual membership, and most of the fools bought the membership on impulse, and then left it alone before they even got to know the coach. Only Dou Xun did Muay Thai twice a week and once a free-style fight, rain or shine, and never missed a class. He also made a DIY equipment at home - he took an iron bar, tied both ends with sponges for easy handling, tied a thick rope in the middle, and hung a heavy object under the rope, usually a beverage bottle filled with water.

When Xu Xilin entered the final sprint stage of the college entrance examination, Teacher Dou, who was his tutor, was exercising beside him. He stretched out his arms, grasped both ends of the stick with both hands, and turned the iron bar with both hands to lower the rope hanging with the heavy object little by little, and then turned it up in circles, repeating one hundred and twenty times, resting for five minutes, and then doing another round. It is said that it can exercise both wrist strength and arm strength... However, Xu Xilin took it and played with it for a while, and felt that this thing could easily cause tendonitis.

Dou Xun is not a person who loves sports. Xu Xilin suspected that he was stimulated by what happened at Yuebanwan’s door that day, but he never dared to ask.

After that day, there were some subtle changes in the way Xu Xilin and Dou Xun interacted with each other. Both of them were a little cautious with each other, and they stopped excessive physical contact and verbal confrontations, which greatly reduced the frequency of quarrels and made things more peaceful. The two of them each looked around the "enemy position" and didn't know whether to fight or make peace next.

The countdown board for the college entrance examination on the back blackboard was used up faster than toilet paper. It was soon finished after one pull. During this period of time, there were major exams followed by minor exams. By the end of the exam, students had basically become numb to the exams and their hearts were gradually becoming unsettled.

Cai Jing is the one who comes the earliest and leaves the latest every day, and basically opening and locking the door is his job.

It was usually very early, and even earlier than usual on Mondays - he wanted to put the gift for Luo Bing into the mailbox while no one was at school.

This has almost become Cai Jing's psychological sustenance. His uncle is becoming more and more like a human being. Every day he is either nowhere to be seen or the house is filled with the smell of alcohol. Cai Jing avoids him and wishes he could sleep on the floor in the classroom.

When Xu Xilin was obviously depressed, everyone was afraid to upset him, but Cai Jing didn't take it seriously. After all, Xu Xilin still had a grandmother at home, and even if his mother was gone, his family could afford a nanny. He could still buy whatever he liked, and didn't have to worry about tuition fees or calculate what to eat in the cafeteria to save money.

Cai Jing seemed like a child who grew up outdoors in the wind and snow. His skin and flesh were repeatedly cracked, and he had layer after layer of rough scars and dead skin. He had lost some of his ability to perceive pain.

Cai Jing sighed at the rusty iron door of the mailbox and thought, "It will be fine after I get through this."

If he can get into university, he will have grown strong enough to pursue his own career and escape from his current life.

After Cai Jing left, a thin boy sneaked out from the dormitory building next door - if Dou Xun was there, he would probably recognize him as the boy who Li Bozhi and his friends had beaten in the toilet on the second floor of the teaching building.

He tiptoed to the mailbox of Class 1 like a little mouse, holding a piece of wire in his hand, and poked the lock of the mailbox tremblingly for a while.

The mailbox was exposed to wind and sun all year round, and the lock was just a decoration. It could only protect against gentlemen but not villains. The boy poked it open with a few pokes. He looked around furtively, took out the envelope that Cai Jing had just stuffed in, and turned and ran away.

Because Wu Tao got the professional course results, he didn't have to train every day. Also, as the college entrance examination was approaching, his family finally took out some money and rented a house for him in front of the school. He has already moved out. Li Bozhi, the bully of the dormitory, has been in a very bad mood recently. Whoever he catches will be unlucky. People like him who are at the bottom of the food chain cannot resist and can only save themselves in a roundabout way.

Usually, Li Bozhi and his classmates got up early for training, and they would wake him up every day to make him fold the quilt and buy breakfast. The boys had long noticed Cai Jing, who came to stuff things every Monday. He had heard about this little four-eyed boy, who was in Wu Tao's class, and was very good at scheming. He worked everywhere and couldn't take care of everything himself, so he had to find someone to take his place.

In the second semester of his senior year, Wu Tao and his classmates took turns to cover his classes for nearly a whole semester. Li Bozhi even laughed behind his back and said that Wu Tao was so righteous that he was an idiot.

"He must have money," thought the boy who stole something.

The next night, during evening self-study, Cai Jing gave himself extra lessons as usual and left at almost ten o'clock. The entire teaching building was empty and the lights in all the classes were turned off. He walked out of the empty corridor alone. As soon as he left the teaching building, he saw several people gathered at the door.

Cai Jing took a look and saw that it was Li Bozhi's group. Without Xu Xilin and Wu Tao, Cai Jing didn't want to have anything to do with this group of people, so he lowered his head and pretended not to see them, and walked around them. Unexpectedly, after taking a few steps, he suddenly heard a "hey" behind him, and something fell from the sky and hit Cai Jing in front of him.

It was the unsigned letter from Cai Jing to Luo Bing.

Li Bozhi walked over with his men in a swagger: "A friend of mine picked up something, is it yours?"

Cai Jing's head buzzed and he involuntarily tightened the strap of his schoolbag.

Li Bozhi kicked the envelope on the ground and said to Cai Jing with a half-smile, "If someone returns the lost item, you should show some appreciation, right? But I also heard that you are not very well off... What should I do?"

Li Bozhi pretended to think for a while, then stretched out his hand and slapped Cai Jing's shoulder heavily: "How about I trouble you to do me a small favor, and then we'll be even, how about that?"