It's another sleepless night. I just can't fall asleep even with my eyes open.
Such low-quality sleep directly affected my mental state the next day.
After class the next day, I lay on the desk with no expression on my face.
Yao Yizhou noticed my abnormality and took out a box of cut fruit from the desk and placed it in front of me.
If it were in the past, I would definitely not be polite, but now I have no appetite at all.
Seeing that I hadn't moved for a long time, Yao Yizhou whispered in my ear: "Wen Ya, have you noticed that you have changed a lot now?"
I didn't answer Yao Yizhou because I knew he was right. I had indeed changed a lot, but I couldn't tell him that my changes had something to do with Ji Chuan.
I remember one year, Ji Chuan and I had a conflict. Not only did Shen Xiaoyu not give me any advice, but she also advised me to break up with Ji Chuan.
I am not a person who can control my emotions well, so I said at that time that I wanted to break up with her.
Xiaoyu smiled bitterly and said, "Look, I asked you to break up, but you refused. That proves that you still have Ji Chuan in your heart. In this case, you should not separate. Although you have conflicts now, just resolve them. There is no knot that cannot be untied. One of you and him has to bow down first."
Now thinking back to what Xiaoyu said, I suddenly wondered if it was time for Ji Chuan and I to break up?
"Yizhou, I feel bored. Do you want to go out for a walk together?" I turned my head to look at Yao Yizhou.
Yao Yizhou nodded in agreement: "Let's go." After that, he began to pack up.
Seeing that he had already started to move, I stood up and walked out with my schoolbag, which I had never opened. Yao Yizhou soon followed.
There was a lot of traffic outside the school, and it was very noisy. Yao Yizhou and I stood at the school gate with our schoolbags, not knowing where to go. Yao Yizhou stood beside me and waited for me to make a decision - he always did this and respected any decision I made. At this time, his company made me feel extremely peaceful.
"Let's go have a barbecue." I turned and smiled at Yao Yizhou.
He seemed to remember what happened when we had barbecue in the past and couldn't help laughing with me.
Once, a group of us went on a spring outing. We were told that everyone should bring their own food and grill it in an electric oven. On the day of the outing, the food that the students brought was almost piled up into a mountain. The funniest thing was that everyone brought different kinds of meat.
That day, almost everyone's stomach was about to burst, but Yao Yizhou didn't eat a single bite. I asked him why, but he just slowly drank a sip of water and said calmly: "My parents don't allow me to eat barbecue."
I laughed so hard when I heard this. At that time, I really couldn't believe that there were still children who listened to their parents so much. It was really weird. But Yao Yizhou said very seriously, "Barbecued food can cause cancer. It's better to be careful."
Yao Yizhou's words made all the students laugh so hard that they almost couldn't straighten their backs. In fact, I think the most puzzling thing is that if he doesn't eat barbecue, why did he come to participate in the barbecue event and bring so much meat?
After a few years, Yao Yizhou's fear of barbecue had long disappeared due to my repeated encouragement, especially in the summer every year, we visited the barbecue restaurants around the school countless times.
After entering university, the battlefield between Yao Yizhou and I shifted to a barbecue restaurant near the university campus. Yao Yizhou also transformed from a young man who was extremely afraid of barbecue to a veteran barbecue "foodie".
On the way to the barbecue restaurant with Yao Yizhou, we passed by a bridal shop. In the huge window of the bridal shop, a mannequin was wearing a beautiful white wedding dress. I stood by the window, staring at the white wedding dress, and a strange bitter feeling rose in my heart.
In fact, I had secretly tried on this wedding dress a long time ago. I originally planned to wear this wedding dress and marry Ji Chuan when I graduated, turning my love into marriage. Being able to depend on Ji Chuan is what I have always dreamed of, but now, I have become hesitant, and the future that was within reach at the beginning has become blurred.
As I thought about it, I couldn't help but let my tears slide down.
My tears were hot, but my face was cold.
The wedding dress was still displayed in the window in the most beautiful way, and the expressionless mannequin seemed to be laughing at my frustration. But I could only quietly turn my face away, facing away from Yao Yizhou and wipe the tears from my cheeks.
"Wen Ya, what's wrong with you? Why don't you leave?" Yao Yizhou's concerned voice came to his ears.
I turned around and forced a smile to hide the embarrassment of how things had changed and said, "It seems like there's sand in my eyes... It's okay, let's go get some barbecue. Do you want some baked potato chips? I remember the one we always went to before, the baked potato chips and baked steamed bread chips were both pretty good."
Yao Yizhou seemed to notice something was wrong with me, but he just smiled and nodded, then said slowly, "Okay."
After collecting my thoughts, I pulled Yao Yizhou and ran wildly on the street . Soon, we arrived at the familiar barbecue restaurant in the alley.
Yao Yizhou helped me put my schoolbag away. I didn't bother to be polite with him. I took the menu and ordered a lot of food: "Grilled lamb, grilled chicken wings, grilled yellow croaker, grilled squid, and ten bottles of beer."
I just finished ordering my food, but Yao Yizhou covered his mouth and laughed, "Didn't you just say you wanted to eat their baked potato chips and baked steamed bread slices? Why did you order a lot of meat when you got here?"
I touched my head and laughed embarrassedly: "Oh, I forgot! You didn't remind me, so you should order it again!"
I handed the menu to Yao Yizhou, but Yao Yizhou waved his hand and said, "Forget it, that's all."
"Yizhou, why don't you find a girlfriend? Do you have very high standards for finding a girlfriend? You haven't had a girlfriend for so many years. Haven't you met someone you like?"
I asked casually while taking out a few napkins from the napkin box on the table to wipe the table, but who knew that Yao Yizhou was speechless and even the smile on his face seemed to be frozen.
I realized that this question might have hit a sore spot for Yao Yizhou, so I quickly said, "I'm just curious and asked casually. If you don't want to tell me, I won't force you."
Yao Yizhou waited for a while before slowly asking me, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
I didn't quite understand what Yao Yizhou meant by asking this question, but I nodded anyway: "Of course I have a boyfriend, you know that, why are you asking even though you know it? I am very loyal, and I only have Ji Chuan in my heart."
"Look, you still have more than me. You have a boyfriend, but I don't even have a girlfriend." Yao Yizhou said lightly, with a trace of imperceptible loneliness flashing across his face.
"Do you think I have a lot of things? Yao Yizhou, can we not talk about this topic today? Let's have a light-hearted chat and talk about this mutton. Tell me, if this sheep knew that it would be killed when it grows up and its meat would be eaten by people, would it still be willing to be born? Tell me, would it choose to die while still in the womb?" I looked at Yao Yizhou, waiting for his answer.
He was lost in thought, seemingly unsure of how to answer my question.
I think, based on his understanding of me, he must know that I am not talking about sheep, but actually myself.
The boss placed the steaming hot lamb skewers and chicken wings on the table and greeted us warmly: "Eat slowly, be careful of the heat. Girl, I know you like cumin, so I put more cumin in it for you."
I smiled at the boss and nodded in thanks: "Thank you, boss!"
Yao Yizhou remained silent. I handed the grilled lamb skewers to him and said, "Eat quickly. You know, their barbecue tastes best when it's hot."
Yao Yizhou took the mutton skewer and bit it carefully. His elegant way of eating was completely different from mine. I was the "generous" type of person who directly put the mutton skewer into my mouth and tore off the whole skewer of meat in one bite .
Just as I finished one skewer and reached for the second one, Yao Yizhou took out a few napkins from the napkin box and handed them to me, smiling and saying, "Wipe the meat sauce from the corner of your mouth."
I took the napkin and wiped my mouth casually, not knowing whether it was clean or not, and then I put the second skewer of mutton into my mouth.
Yao Yizhou held down my hand holding the lamb skewers with one hand, and snatched the napkin from me with the other hand , carefully wiping the meat sauce off the corner of my mouth.
I looked at Yao Yizhou embarrassedly, but he smiled gently: "Eat quickly, eat more."
Being gently cared for by a boy who is not my boyfriend, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable. I sighed and said with emotion: "Yizhou, I think your future girlfriend must have saved the Milky Way in her previous life, so she is so lucky to have a boyfriend as gentle and considerate as you."
Originally, I thought Yao Yizhou would take the opportunity to brag about himself, but he remained silent, and his eyes no longer had the gentleness from before, but instead had a hint of indescribable sadness.
If only Ji Chuan was with me now... I thought silently in my heart, but the more I thought about it, the sadder I felt, so I picked up the beer on the table and poured it into my mouth.
My ferocious drinking style seemed to scare Yao Yizhou. He patted my arm and said softly, "Wen Ya, stop drinking."
Originally, I was planning to just take a sip of wine and then stop, but I don’t know what happened, after Yao Yizhou persuaded me, I couldn’t stop and drank bottle after bottle.
When I finished the third bottle of beer, my head was dizzy and my vision was blurry. I fell on the table and lost consciousness.
Sure enough, after all these years, I can only drink three bottles of wine...
I felt like I was being helped into a taxi. The taxi was shaky all the way, making my stomach churn. It wasn't until I lay on the soft bed that I felt better.
Then, I seemed to hear someone calling my name. I wanted to respond to the person who called me, to ask him where I was, but the words came out of my mouth but turned into a whisper.
Suddenly, something wet pressed against my lips, sucking all the strength out of me.
Just when I wanted to struggle, my lips suddenly loosened.
I tried hard to open my eyes, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't.
Faintly, I heard a low sigh in my ear.