Chapter 3 Bubble three
Perhaps because the unbridled crying consumed too much of my energy, I didn’t have any nightmares that night and slept well. When I went out the next morning, I found that the dark clouds in the gloomy sky were so low that they seemed to be pressing down on the tall buildings in the distance. This was a sign of the coming heavy rain.
Despite this, I did not return home to get an umbrella. I even looked forward to getting caught in the rain, as if only such self-abuse could slightly alleviate the emotions that had been weighing on my chest and almost suffocating me.
It seemed as if the heavens heard my prayers. When I was about to reach the school gate, heavy rain poured down, soaking my hair in an instant. I didn't run or hide, but raised my face to welcome the heavy raindrops, and then lowered my head to quietly watch the small drops of water fall on the ground at my feet and bloom into transparent flowers.
I stepped on the transparent raindrops, moving forward step by step without haste. I even hummed a song happily, letting the rain wash my face, as if this could dilute the dirty, ugly, shameful things in my heart.
But I know it's useless, those ugly things will only become more and more hateful, and I'm just using self-torture as an excuse to make myself feel better.
It's all just self-deception!
I raised my face again, hoping that the rain would come harder. Suddenly, the raindrops that were supposed to hit my face disappeared, and a dark blue sky appeared in my sight. To be more precise, a huge dark blue umbrella blocked my sight and also shielded me from the cold rain.
I turned my head and saw Hua Ziyin sitting on a bicycle. I squinted my eyes and tried to study the expression on his face through the rain. But he stuffed the umbrella into my hand without saying anything, then rode his bicycle quickly into the rain.
By the time I reacted, I couldn't even see his back in the heavy rain.
I held the umbrella blankly, thinking that it was all an illusion, until someone called me softly "Hexue". I turned around in a daze and found that Xiaoyuan was standing behind me without me knowing when.
Xiaoyuan looked in the direction where Hanako Yin disappeared, then looked at me, and seemed to want to say something but stopped herself.
I said generously: "Ask whatever you want to ask."
Xiao Yuan's tangled facial features immediately relaxed: "He Xue, you... are you close to Hanako Yin?"
"No way!" I almost jumped up in excitement, not understanding why Xiaoyuan would have such an idea. "Xiaoyuan, let me tell you, the person I hate the most in this school is Hanako Yin, even more than those who laugh at me!"
"Really?" Xiaoyuan muttered suspiciously, "But...but why do I feel that Hanako Yin treats you very well?"
"Huh?" This time I was really shocked by Xiaoyuan's terrible words. "Xiaoyuan, you are just illusory, absolutely illusory!"
"But, last time when the boys in your class blocked the aisle, it was him who helped you out! And this time, I... I just saw it, he gave you the umbrella..." Xiaoyuan spoke softer and softer, and in the end it was almost inaudible.
She lowered her head, and the hand that was not holding the umbrella fidgeted with the hem of her school uniform nervously, like a child who had done something wrong.
I knew she must be worried that I would blame her for secretly following my every move. See, Xiaoyuan is such a sensitive person. I deliberately bumped Xiaoyuan's umbrella with the umbrella in my hand to show that I didn't mind, and she smiled with relief.
Seeing her smile, I couldn't help but explain, "It just happened that he was going to pass by there that time in the aisle."
"As for the umbrella..." I looked at the world outside the umbrella where it was raining heavily, and suddenly a strange thought came to my mind. Will Hua Ziyin get soaked?
"As for the umbrella..." I quickly suppressed those strange thoughts and decided to explain the relationship between Hanako-Yin and I to Madoka. "Madoka, actually, I never told you that Hanako-Yin was my schoolmate."
"Ah?" Xiaoyuan looked as if she had realized what was going on. "Oh."
I knew she had misunderstood again, so I quickly said, "But, we are just alumni. It just happened that he transferred to Binghui School. I didn't know him well before, but maybe it's rare to meet someone I knew before in a strange city, so he gave me the umbrella, it's that simple."
"So?" Xiaoyuan looked at me, and a hint of spirit suddenly appeared on her listless face, but that spirit disappeared in an instant. She looked at me nervously and stammered, "Then... Hexue, what about you? Do you also think that he is just an old schoolmate?"
"I wish I had never met him." I blurted out hatefully.
Xiaoyuan's frown relaxed and she even smiled slightly, revealing her little dimples.
It was the first time I saw Xiaoyuan smile so happily, but it was not the first time I saw this expression on her face. I had seen this expression on other people’s faces before.
So, I think I roughly understand that Madoka likes Hanako Yin.
"But, Madoka..." I turned to face Madoka, thinking about how to make my words as tactful and clear as possible, "You can't..."
I looked serious, and Xiaoyuan probably realized that I might say something serious. She hung her head, slumped her shoulders, and her little face turned red, as if she was about to cry in the next second. That inferiority and cowardly expression was heartbreaking.
I couldn't finish my words when I was halfway through. Once, there was also someone who looked at me with this expression. At that time, I said the wrong words and did the wrong things, and now I am in an irreversible state.
I would never allow myself to make the same mistake twice, so I pretended that I was joking with Yuan, and couldn't help laughing first, and said, "Hey, Yuan, you can't learn to be so gossipy like me."
Xiao Yuan seemed to have been pardoned, and her expression instantly relaxed. She even joked with me: "Then tell me what happened between you and Xu Yun?"
"Me and Xu Yun..." I dropped the bombshell without hesitation, "Xiao Yuan, actually, I like Xu Yun."
I walked forward while waiting for Xiaoyuan's surprised scream, but after waiting for a long time, she didn't respond. I finally couldn't help but turn around to look at her, only to find that she was not beside me at all. She was standing two meters behind me, looking at me with her mouth open and a look of reverence.
She said: "Hexue, I, did I hear correctly just now?"
"No." I said loudly through the rain, "You heard me right, I like Lian Mengsha's boyfriend Xu..."
Xiao Yuan was like a robot that had been turned on. She quickly threw away the umbrella in her hand and rushed over to cover my mouth: "Shh! Are you trying to kill yourself?"
I looked at Xiaoyuan with a smile. Xiaoyuan was still frightened and looked around carefully. She let me go only after she was sure there was no one around.
"It's not that serious."
I looked at Xiaoyuan, gradually stopped smiling, and asked her seriously, "Xiaoyuan, do you think what I did is shameless?"
Xiao Yuan was stunned for a moment, and hurriedly waved her hands to explain: "No, no, Hexue, I, I... I didn't mean that. I, I was just afraid that Lian Mengsha would do to you..."
"I'm not afraid." I put on an expression as if I was ready to die.
I didn't tell Xiaoyuan that I originally hoped that Lian Mengsha would take revenge on me severely.
"You, Hexue, you asked me to investigate Lian Mengsha from the beginning, right..." Xiaoyuan looked at me in disbelief.
"Yes." I nodded, showing my ugliest side to Xiaoyuan, "I planned to snatch Xu Yun from the beginning. Xiaoyuan, do you think I'm scary now?"
Xiaoyuan lowered her head, bit her lip, and remained silent.
I felt relieved. People like me don't deserve to have friends. It's a good thing that Xiaoyuan now recognizes my true nature.
I gritted my teeth and prepared to leave.
Xiao Yuan raised her head and said firmly: "He Xue, no matter what you do, I support you!"
"Xiaoyuan, you..." I seemed to have lost my voice, my throat was so uncomfortable that I couldn't utter a word.
Shouldn't everyone avoid a shameless person like me? Why did you approach me so warmly? Once you experience this kind of warmth, you will feel the coldness of this world even more.
But why do I still yearn for such warmth?
"Because I'm your friend." Xiaoyuan looked at me, her timid eyes slowly becoming firm. "I'm your only friend here! If I don't support you, you'll be lonely."
Yes , it’s so lonely!
I held Xiaoyuan's hand and tightened it slowly. The last time someone said this to me, I didn't take it seriously and even laughed at the other person. At that time, I thought I already had the whole world. But later, I realized that I was the only one in my world, and I missed the person who took the initiative to extend a hand of friendship to me. So, this time , Xiaoyuan, I will never let go of your hand. Because it would be too lonely.
