After returning home, I went straight to my room, laid on the bed without saying a word, trying to force myself to fall asleep, but my heart was in turmoil and I didn't feel sleepy at all.
In the following days, I was upset almost every day, I couldn't concentrate in class, and I couldn't eat much. Compared with my bad state, Shen Xiaoyu's joyful mood that she couldn't hide was completely different. No matter when, there was a smile on her lips. Compared with the listlessness of last month, she was like a different person, becoming very energetic.
After class in the afternoon, Shen Xiaoyu and I went to a coffee shop together. We ordered two cups of coffee as usual, but the waiter slipped and dropped the coffee on the ground, splashing a lot on Xiaoyu.
I slammed the table and stood up: "What's wrong with you? Did you do it on purpose?"
Naturally, what I said was not pleasant as I was in a bad mood. Xiaoyu anxiously apologized for me and comforted me to sit down.
The cafe waiter said "sorry" and quickly picked up the cup and left.
Xiaoyu glanced at the waiter, turned around and asked me, "Xiaoya, what's wrong with you? You haven't been in a good state recently. What happened?"
I frowned, was silent for a while, and said slowly: "She's back!"
"Who?" Xiaoyu was confused.
"My mother." I said calmly.
Xiaoyu knows me and what this incident means to me. She was obviously shocked by the news. She covered her mouth for a long time before she came to her senses: "Is your mother really back?"
I snorted coldly, clenched my teeth, and said angrily: "Whether she comes back or not is none of my business, it has nothing to do with me!"
Xiaoyu sighed helplessly and whispered to comfort me: "Xiaoya, don't push yourself too hard, relax a little, after all, she also gave birth to you after ten months of pregnancy."
Hearing Xiaoyu say this, I became even angrier: "A woman like her doesn't deserve to have children!"
The waiter brought the coffee over. Xiaoyu took the coffee, stirred it, and after a long while, he whispered, "Xiaoya, you..."
"Let's not talk about this anymore. Let's talk about Yao Yizhou. We haven't had a good time together since he came back from France. So, let's hold a welcome party for him. Then, you can take this opportunity to have a good chat and cultivate your relationship. How do you think?"
Xiaoyu listened to me and smiled shyly, lowering her head, but she didn't say anything. I knew that her silence meant that she agreed to my proposal. I was a man of action, so I called Yao Yizhou right away.
Yao Yizhou answered the phone quickly. After the phone rang a few times, his voice came from the other end: "Xiaoya, what do you want to talk to me about?"
I coughed a few times, and when I calmed down a little, I whispered, "Yizhou, are you free this weekend?"
"Weekend? Are you free? Is there anything I can help you with?" Yao Yizhou was very straightforward.
"It's nothing special. Xiaoyu and I want to hold a welcome party for you. I wonder if you would be willing to attend?"
"How can a welcome party be held specially for me without me? No problem, I will definitely be there on time."
I made an OK gesture to Xiaoyu and said calmly, "Okay, let's meet at the karaoke bar in front of the school. We can eat and sing together, so we don't have to change places. How about that?"
"Okay, I'll follow your arrangements." Yao Yizhou had no objection to my arrangements.
I hung up the phone, shook the phone in my hand , and made a victory gesture: "Done! I'll go book a private room at the karaoke bar in front of the school this weekend. You must dress up nicely when you enter, and stun Yao Yizhou as soon as you enter. Capture his heart in an instant and make him stare at you. He can only see you in his heart and eyes."
Xiaoyu just smiled at my arrangement.
Seeing that Xiaoyu didn't have any special opinions, I started planning the weekend party.
"I will invite some friends to go there so that you and Yao Yizhou won't be embarrassed. Don't worry, I will never make the situation awkward or embarrass you. It's best if everything can go smoothly and naturally."
The weekend soon arrived, and Ji Chuan and I arrived at the karaoke bar early.
Not long after, the friends I had invited to create an atmosphere also arrived one after another, but the main couple, Yao Yizhou and Xiaoyu, were the last to arrive.
I really admire them. This arrangement was completely set up for them. They actually had the mood to come after class. Ji Chuan and I arrived two hours in advance.
I pointed at Yao Yizhou who was late, held the microphone and said loudly: "Yao Yizhou, you are late. So, you and Xiaoyu are the last two to arrive, so you can sit together."
Yao Yizhou shrugged and sat down next to Xiaoyu helplessly.
Xiaoyu was wearing a pure white dress today, looking so lovely. Seeing Yao Yizhou sitting down next to her, she lowered her head shyly.
Yao Yizhou and Xiaoyu didn't speak for a long time, and the atmosphere between them was a bit awkward. I walked over and put a glass of beer next to Yao Yizhou, and poured Xiaoyu a drink.
"There are a lot more people chasing small fish this month. Some people should seize the opportunity."
As soon as I finished speaking, Xiaoyu lowered his head even lower, almost burying it in his knees.
Seeing her like this, I got anxious and continued to add fuel to the fire: "Yizhou, you are really something. Since high school, Xiaoyu has been recognized as the most beautiful girl in our class. She is a goddess. How can you be so calm when sitting next to her?"
Yao Yizhou seemed to understand my intention, but he pretended to be ignorant. He just smiled at my teasing and did not respond.
I leaned forward and whispered in Yao Yizhou's ear: "Yizhou, I can only help you up to this point, the rest is up to you."
Faced with my enthusiastic matchmaking, Yao Yizhou's expression was a little complicated, but he still said nothing.
I couldn't guess what Yao Yizhou was thinking, but as the matchmaker who brought them together, I couldn't say another word. If I said anything more, it would seem too deliberate and they would probably both turn around and leave. So, I could only turn around and go back to Ji Chuan.
Ji Chuan sings well, I like to listen to his singing the most, I saw him drinking alone, I encouraged him to show his singing skills. Ji Chuan couldn't resist my encouragement, so he took the microphone from a boy and stood up to order songs.
The song Ji Chuan ordered was Eason Chan's "Ten Years", which is his favorite song and my favorite song as well. I remember that Ji Chuan sang this song "Ten Years" at a New Year's Eve party at school.
Ji Chuan's voice is very special, and it seems to have a strange magic that makes people calm down when they listen to him. I like listening to him sing, and every time I listen to him sing, my heart becomes very peaceful. His voice and his whole person bring me an inexplicable sense of security.
On the one-year anniversary of Ji Chuan and I’s relationship, we went to a western restaurant for dinner together, and he went on stage and sang a song for me, also "Ten Years".
I love every word of "Ten Years", but I don't want our ending to be as sad as the song says in "Ten Years".
I remember I once asked Ji Chuan what we would be like in ten years. At that time, Ji Chuan just scratched my nose, smiled lovingly and said, "Little fool, how can you predict what will happen in ten years?"
I don't like Ji Chuan's answer.
I want to be with him forever. I have never thought about the day when I lose Ji Chuan. That would be a nightmare for me.
I absolutely cannot bear losing him, and I absolutely cannot bear the possibility of losing him. For me, my love with Ji Chuan will eventually turn into marriage.
I have always believed that ten years later, I will become Ji Chuan's wife, we will have a happy and warm home, and have a lovely son or daughter. We will send the children to school together every day, and then go to work together. Ji Chuan picks me up from work every day, and we go to the supermarket to buy some vegetables together, cook together at home, and talk about some interesting things at work at the dinner table. After dinner, Ji Chuan and I will rush to wash the dishes, and I will snuggle in his arms to watch my favorite Korean dramas, and he will indulge me, always telling jokes to make me happy... This is my dream life.
Ji Chuan is always present in my imagination of the future.
Yes, every day when I wake up, he and the sunshine are there. That is the happiness I want, that is the future I want, and that is the life I want. Every time I think about it, my mood will inexplicably get better.
Ji Chuan's song "Ten Years" won everyone's applause. I clapped my hands happily and was extremely excited.
He put the microphone on the table and sat down next to me. As soon as he picked up the wine glass on the table, the male classmate next to him said jokingly: "Ji Chuan, you are so lucky. I saw you hugging a beautiful girl on the street a few days ago. What's going on? Don't you want to explain it to Xiaoya?"
I knew that Ji Chuan's friends always liked to joke around, so I looked at Ji Chuan with a smile, waiting for his response. However, Ji Chuan's eyes flickered, and he just smiled awkwardly and said, "Xiao Ya is here, don't joke around."
Ji Chuan and I have been together for several years, and I remember every little move of Ji Chuan clearly, his expression and movements when he is in a bad mood, his expression and movements when he wants to escape, and his expression and movements when he doesn't want to talk. In my memory, all his expressions and movements are so profound.
I know clearly that whenever Ji Chuan has something he doesn't want to say, he has this expression.
I remember one Valentine's Day, Ji Chuan and I went to the movies together. Although the theater was a little dark, I could still see his sparkling eyes. After all, I could only see him in my eyes and heart.
After my further questioning, Ji Chuan told me that a junior school girl confessed to him and wanted to invite him to watch a movie together. That day, the junior school girl was sitting in front of us with a girl.
Later, I asked around for that girl and finally found out what class she was in. At that time, I neither hit the girl nor embarrassed her, but quietly opened my phone and showed her the photo of Ji Chuan and I kissing. Then, the girl ran out of the classroom crying.
It was a war between two women, and I won everything without saying a word. I went to that girl and showed her the kissing photo of Ji Chuan and I. Ji Chuan still doesn't know about it. Of course, I couldn't let him know. I just tried my best to defend my love. What's more, I didn't scold that girl, nor did I hit her, and I didn't let everyone know that she liked Ji Chuan.
This time, Ji Chuan showed such an expression again. I had to start doubting the authenticity of the joke made by the male classmate. The scene of Ji Chuan walking on the street with another girl in his arms appeared in my mind. When I thought of this, my heart sank. I let go of his arm and asked him in a low voice: "Ji Chuan, are you hiding something from me?"
Ji Chuan's eyes flickered, and an awkward smile appeared on the corner of his mouth: "Xiao Ya, don't think too much. Didn't you hear that he was joking? His nickname is Nonsense, and he loves to talk nonsense all day long. Can you believe what he says?"
Ji Chuan's evasion made me believe more and more what the male classmate said. I shook my head and continued to ask relentlessly: "Ji Chuan, let me ask you, are you hiding something from me?"
My persistent questioning made Ji Chuan impatient. He frowned and said in a displeased voice, "Wen Ya, don't be so crazy. Do you believe everything others say?"
Although Ji Chuan's voice was not loud, it made the male classmates around him nervous. Seeing that something was not right, they all started to persuade him.
"Wen Ya, I am sorry for you. I think I must have seen it wrong. Don't take it too seriously."
"Wen Ya, he's full of nonsense all the time, don't believe him, and don't let him and Ji Chuan get into a fight, it's not worth it!"
Listening to the consolation of Ji Chuan's friends, my heart ached more and more. Is this what is called "the speaker is unintentional, but the listener is intentional?" Maybe it was just a casual remark to others, but it was heavier than the pressure of a thousand mountains to me. After all, I was the one who knew Ji Chuan best. His expression had completely betrayed him. No matter what the reason was, no matter what the matter was, he was hiding something from me. He didn't want me to know something.
I gritted my teeth and kept telling myself in my heart that I must hold it in, I must hold back from getting angry, and I must not fall out with Ji Chuan at this time.
I lowered my head, picked up the wine glass on the table, and drank the wine in the glass. After a long while, I forced a smile and said, "Ji Chuan, I was wrong today. I spoke too hastily. Please don't mind it and don't take it to heart."
Ji Chuan knew my temper, and I had given him a way out by apologizing like this. He tapped my nose and said softly, "You just like to daydream when you have nothing to do."
I kept staring at Ji Chuan's eyes, and when he looked at me again, I suddenly found that something seemed to flash in his eyes. In that instant, my heart felt cold.
Ji Chuan turned around, picked up his glass and started drinking with his classmates. I could only smile reluctantly. The party was still going on as usual, but I was no longer in the mood.
I took a bottle of beer, poured myself a glass, and drank it all in one gulp. A boy was holding a microphone and singing Lee Kyu-cheol's "Thinking Too Much" loudly. As I listened, I felt more and more upset.
Am I really thinking too much?
I always hear people say that love is a protracted war. In this war, whoever invests more feelings is the loser, and whoever cares more about the other person is more hurt. I don’t know who is the loser between Ji Chuan and me in this protracted war. I only know that I feel very hurt now.
I drank one glass after another, not knowing how much I had drunk. After finishing a bottle of beer, I took a few more bottles from the table and placed them next to me, filled the glass, and then put the glass directly to my mouth.
Suddenly, a hand reached out and took the cup from me.
I was a little dazed and couldn't see who that person was. I could only see a figure holding a glass of wine and drinking it all.
Then, everything went black before my eyes and I lost consciousness.