I insist on sending text messages to Jian Chen every day.
From the initial “Hi” to the current “Hi, I’m Banxia, ​​Ban as in half, Xia as in summer. It’s still going to rain today, remember to bring an umbrella.”
Jian Chen never gave me any response.
Maybe in his impression, I have become a synonym for a shameless girl.
He might be thinking, I have already explained everything to Ai Banxia, ​​why is she still pestering me? Is she out of her mind?
However, no matter how he sees me, I don’t care. What I care about is what Xiao Shitou thinks of me.
But he is not Little Stone now, and he doesn’t remember that “Ai Banxia’s Little Stone” is not the real Little Stone.
I can't just sit there and text messages all the time, I have to think of other ways to get closer to Jian Chen.
Just when I was struggling to get close to Jian Chen, the god of luck came to me again.
Baisha College's annual "Baisha Night" party was in the preparation stage, and Jian Chen's Grade 3 (11) class was selected to perform with my class. Unsurprisingly, the performance representative of Grade 3 (11) class was the extremely musical Jian Chen, and this musical genius who had always been spoiled by Baisha girls very domineeringly specified that our class only needed to "provide" an accompanist, and very unreasonably requested "no unremarkable instruments such as piano, violin, flute, etc."
Anyway, in the end, the role of accompaniment fell to me, a drummer, by coincidence. When the head teacher explained all this to me, I just nodded indifferently.
Of course I wasn’t so calm inside. I was just so happy that I didn’t know how to react.
The next day after school, I excitedly and nervously rushed to the place notified by the Student Union to meet Jian Chen and practice for the performance of the evening party. When I arrived at the designated place, I found that it was a special school for mentally retarded children.
I was wondering when I saw a boy in exaggerated clothes waving at me from a distance and saying, "Are you here to perform for the kids?"
It's a performance, yes, but...
I nodded indifferently.
Without saying anything, the boy dragged me inside the school. He led me to a classroom and motioned me to go in, but he stopped at the door. I curiously looked inside and saw a room full of various musical instruments. I couldn't help swallowing my saliva: "Wow, so many!"
"Yes," the boy scratched his head and said proudly, "They were all donated by our boss."
"Your boss?"
As soon as I finished speaking, a voice floated out from the classroom, cold and nonchalant: "What instrument do you play?"
The boy stuck out his tongue at me and pointed his finger towards the classroom, indicating that this was their leader. I turned around and saw Jian Chen standing behind the music stand. His eyes swept over me and then fell back to the music in less than a second. There was no surprise on his face. I think he didn't remember who I was at all. Even though I had "harassed" him in every way before , he still seemed to have no impression of me at all.
However, I know that is not the case.
Although he tried very hard to hide it, I still noticed the panic hidden between his brows.
He didn't seem to expect me to come, and he must not be as calm as he appeared.
I think all my efforts during this period were not in vain, he was impressed by me.
Maybe he has fallen in love with me.
I walked to the drum set, picked up the drumsticks, and demonstrated all the superb skills I had learned before in various ways, half as a performance and half as a provocation.
Finally, he turned his head away and stopped looking at me, but he raised the corner of his mouth and said, "It's not that embarrassing."
"So, I passed?" I ignored his expression and pointed at the standing microphone next to me. "Can we start? Which song do you want to sing?"
"Which one would you choose without embarrassing yourself? " he asked in his usual arrogant tone.
But I was not angry. If he wanted to make me give up this great opportunity to get close to him in this way, then he underestimated me.
I said, "How about '21 Gun Salute' by Green Day?"
He lowered his head in thought: "Don't you think it would be better if you played Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend"?"
"Huh?" He actually guessed my specialty based on the short piece I just played, but this is not the point now, "That's a girl's song."
He raised his chin slightly and asked provocatively: "Any questions?"
"If you have no problem, of course I have no problem." I picked up the drumsticks angrily and started playing.
At first, I was worried that Jian Chen would sound too feminine when singing a female singer's song, but when the first note floated out of his mouth, I knew that my worry was completely unnecessary. He changed the word "girlfriend" in the lyrics to "boyfriend" and used his deep and magnetic voice to interpret a completely different style. I never knew that Ai Wei'er's songs could be so intense and so sad.
Unexpectedly, my first collaboration with Jian Chen turned out to be so harmonious. When I looked at the innocent and childish smiles of the children who jumped and danced with joy at Jian Chen's singing, I finally understood Jian Chen's intention of choosing this special school as the practice location. I know that his heart is definitely not as cold as his appearance.
When the last note fell, Jian Chen suddenly turned his head and smiled at me. It was as if in a dream, I returned to that place with red roofs and white walls, and the little boy who would always stand up to protect me turned his head and smiled at me gently in the misty morning light of summer...
"Your serious performance is much better than your persistent behavior. It's less annoying."
A bottle of lemonade was thrown to me, and I reached out to catch it tightly, listening to the clear voice beside my ear, smiling with my eyes curved at the boy sitting next to me, my heart beating a little faster.
I didn't expect him to talk to me.
I thought he would say "I don't like you" like last time, or just express his dislike for me.
But this time he didn't.
Because my performance brought happiness to the people he wanted to cherish?
His heart must not be cold, because a cold person would not do these things.
I held the lemonade and was reluctant to drink it. Although it was just a small bottle of drink, I cherished it very much.
This was a change in his attitude towards me.
He sat down and said nothing more. He just drank the green tea in his hand and looked at the space where the crowd had dispersed, with a vague look of relief on his face.
I just sat aside and stopped bothering him. I just watched him quietly, not wanting to disturb his deep thoughts. I felt that everything was fine now.
It's much better than I expected.
At least, he no longer drives me away or refuses my approach.
At this moment, the boy who led me in suddenly came over and whispered to Jian Chen. Jian Chen's face instantly turned cold, and he whispered something to the boy and left in a hurry.
By the time I realized what was happening, he had disappeared.
I was stunned. I didn't know what was going on, and I didn't know whether I should continue to stay here and wait for him, or leave on my own.
"Well..." The boy scratched his head, "The boss asked me to take you home."
"Huh?" I repeated his words in my mind, and then I realized that the "boss" he was talking about was Jian Chen. "Where's Jian Chen? Did something happen?"
"Well, the boss won't let me talk about that." He lowered his head and added, "My mission is to get you home safely."
When I walked out of the school, the sky was already filled with stars, twinkling like diamonds or tears.
I asked the boy who had been silent beside me, "What's your name?"
The boy suddenly blushed, twisting his shirt hem with his fingers like an awkward little girl, and after a while he said, "Coin."
"Ah?" I finally understood his embarrassment. This name is really weird.
"That's right." Coin exhaled, scratched his head and laughed, as if recalling unforgettable happy times, "It was a one-dollar coin, which the boss helped me get. At that time, we made a living together with the boss, and I received the most coins every day..."
Making a living?
So, after I left the orphanage, he left too?
I wanted to listen more, but Coin suddenly stopped talking.
Then, no matter how I asked, he just blushed and kept shaking his head. This boy, dressed in a standard non-mainstream style, had a shy expression that was inconsistent with his appearance and a loyalty that was difficult for ordinary people to understand.
I didn’t want to embarrass him anymore, so I stopped and looked up at the stars. In the distance, in the inky black sky, fireworks were blooming, gorgeous and brilliant, but then they disappeared in an instant, just like the beautiful things in my memory.
I was lost in my memories, and the coin urged me anxiously and unquestionably: "Let's go quickly."
Before I could ask, he kicked the stones on the roadside and muttered, "If those people on the other side of the street see you, you'll be in big trouble."
Suddenly, as if a short circuit in my brain was connected, I seemed to understand something.
"Who are those people from the Other Shore?" I asked, but I knew in my heart that they must be a group of troubled teenagers. I just didn't know how Jian Chen got involved with them. "Does Jian Chen often hang out with those people?"
"No!" The coin explained anxiously, "The boss just can't stand those people bullying us all the time, so..." The coin suddenly hesitated.
"Tell me!" I heard some clues from Coin's words, so I grabbed his arm and asked, "What happened? Where did Jian Chen go? Is he in trouble?"
Coin didn't answer, but looked at me with pleading eyes: "I don't know. The boss won't let me tell you, so I can't tell you even if I know. Now let me take you home, okay? I want you to go back and help the boss as soon as possible."
"Okay." I know that being obedient now would be the biggest help to Jian Chen.
I reached out to stop a taxi, and when Coin wasn't paying attention, I got in, closed the door, and told the driver to drive. Then I waved goodbye to Coin and said, "I'm safe now, go help him."
The night wind whistled in from the window, blowing my words into pieces. I didn't know if Coin heard clearly what I said, but I knew my heart was beating fast. The person who had once stepped forward to protect me without hesitation was now in trouble, and the only thing I could do for him was to stay away from him.
Jian Chen's cell phone is always turned off.
I didn't sleep all night. I rushed to school the next morning, but I got the news that Jian Chen had asked for a long vacation. I became more and more nervous and was restless for the whole class.
Finally, I went to find Long Xuan, Jian Chen’s girlfriend.
When I looked at Long Huang for the third time, hesitant to speak, she suddenly turned her head in the orange morning light and winked at me: "Ask whatever you want to ask."
"Why did Jian Chen ask for a long vacation?" This time, I got straight to the point.
"Actually..." She thought for a moment and frowned, "I'm not really sure."
She didn't look like she was lying at all. I nodded dejectedly: "Oh, I see."
"But I can go to his house and ask around. I'll tell you as soon as I have any news." She nodded, as if she was saying to herself, "Well, I also want to know what happened."
Without waiting for my answer, she lowered her head and continued writing on her homework book, saying, "It's settled."
"Why are you helping me?" Her magnanimity made me feel at a loss and even a little guilty.
"I like competition, so I welcome all kinds of opponents to compete with me. I won the position of Jian Chen's girlfriend by competing with other girls. If you want it, you have to compete with me, and I like fair competition." She smiled, "Long Xuan must win fairly to be Long Xuan."
"But you weren't like this before ." I am always honest with people who are straightforward.
"Are you referring to the incident where someone splashed water on you?" Long Xuan turned his head, flashing a pair of clear eyes. "It wasn't me."
I have never told anyone about being splashed with water. It was an embarrassing incident in a remote toilet one evening after school, after I chased Jian Chen and confessed my love to him in public. When I came to my senses, the group of girls had already walked away laughing, and I had no time to pursue the matter.
However, deep down, I always thought that it was Long Xuan who was behind this, but at this moment, the doubts that I had in my heart disappeared instantly.
I believed her without any reason, maybe just because I knew that the proud Long Xuan had no need to lie.
"But I really didn't like you before." She smiled innocently in the warm spring sunshine.
"What happened next?" I was curious about what changed her opinion of me.
"Later, I actually started to like you a little bit." She wrinkled her nose and said, "Because I found that you are different from other suitors of Jian Chen. Your persistence is shocking. You really want to be good to Jian Chen, not just acting on a whim."
Love the person and love his dog?
I couldn't help but be moved. It turns out that there is someone in this world who cares about my little stone as much as I do.
No, maybe in some ways, she cares more than I do.
Jian Chen has not appeared on campus, and Long Xuan and I have not discussed this issue any further, but I know that she is as worried about Jian Chen as I am.
Not mentioning anything, just hoping that no news is good news.
Worry is like an invisible rope, tightening around my neck little by little as time goes by, making it seem like I will be suffocating in the next second.
Maybe it would be better to talk to someone, but I don't want to make Ai Xi worry. The first person I thought of at this time was Xia Li.
Xia Li's Weibo still hadn't been updated, and a large number of loyal fans began to leave messages questioning the reason for Xia Li's seclusion. This shows that Xia Li had never been in seclusion for such a long time just to write a novel.
Maybe, like me, she has encountered some problems that cannot be solved for the time being.
After hesitating for a long time, I decided to leave a message to Xia Li: "My boyfriend is gone again."
A day later, I received a reply from Xia Li: "Search or wait, and believe that one day you will find him, and then he will really appear in front of you."
I don't know why, but I believed this statement which was obviously without any basis. Maybe I had already regarded her as a mentor and a helpful friend, or maybe it was because I felt a sense of sympathy.
Looking for or waiting? Maybe she had also searched and waited for someone like me hysterically, so she had such a feeling.
"Hi, if you're tired, remember to stop and look at the scenery in the distance." I replied to her private message. I couldn't help her much in writing the novel, so I could only comfort her with such ambiguous words.
Outside the window, the moon is bright and the stars are sparse. Occasionally, one or two spring insects chirp faintly from the newly turned soil in the garden, which sounds like the sound of a string stretched to the extreme suddenly breaking. It is 21 o'clock Beijing time, 3 o'clock in the afternoon in Italy. I wonder if Xia Li is sitting in a room in the bright sunshine and replying to my private message at this moment?
A week later, Jian Chen still did not show up.
Every morning, I would climb up to the floor where the third grade was located and look out the door of the classroom with the Grade 3 (11) class sign hanging on it, hoping to see the long-awaited figure sitting by the window in the third row on the left.
However, day after day, the seat remained empty. Gradually, an indescribable sense of fear kept welling up in my heart, as if everything was unreal and seemed like an illusion.
I even began to doubt that my encounter with Jian Chen was just a shattered dream.
Whenever this happens, I look at Long Huang and tell myself that this is not a dream.
But later even Long Xuan disappeared.
The day Long Xuan didn't come to class was a cloudy day.
During lunch break, I leaned over the railing in front of the teaching building and looked at the dark clouds in the sky. My eyes were sore. I heard footsteps getting closer and closer behind me. I ignored them and just stared at the gray and despairing sky.
The man stopped behind me and said leisurely, "Wouldn't it be more desolate for two lonely people to get together?"
It’s Xie Anbai.
Because of Long Xuan and Jian Chen, we quickly formed an alliance without much communication.
I slowly turned my head to look at him, smiling heartlessly: "We are friends, no; let's discuss big plans, come here."
I didn't expect that the smile I gave him for free would cause him to sigh : "Tell me, how did two of us, two good young people, end up in such a situation?"
"It's all fate." I agreed with him with great melancholy.
Who tells us to like people who don’t like us ?
"Uh..." A trace of anxiety appeared on his handsome face, "I'm worried about Long Xuan."
I nodded and said somewhat ruthlessly: "I'm only worried about Jian Chen."
"They are one and the same, okay?"
"How do you know?"
"Don't you think..." He hesitated for a moment, then said with infinite loneliness, "Did Long Xuan go to find Jian Chen?"
"Where's the evidence?"
"intuition."
In fact, I had the same instinct as him.
"Actually..." Xie Anbai tilted his head and looked at me, "I'm quite curious, why don't you go find Jian Chen?"
He must think that I am a person who talks a lot but does nothing. I just keep saying how much I like Jian Chen, but it’s not the case at all.
The evidence is, look, Jian Chen is gone, but I am here enjoying the scenery.
I sighed again and again. In fact, I didn't know where to look for him, and I didn't know whether I would help him or hurt him if I went there rashly.
He patted my shoulder as I sighed, comforting me like a comrade-in-arms: " Can't you contact any of Jian Chen's friends?"
Suddenly, I thought of the boy who shyly said his name was "Coin".