My original life was so peaceful, just like a ready-made program, and I just had to follow it step by step.
The clock hands turn, repeating each day after day.
But I never expected that my originally peaceful life would be thrown off track because of Lu Qingyu's sudden confession.
Because of Lu Qingyu's confession, I was pulled onto the brightly lit stage.
Other girls might be flattered and grateful for such a role change, but I only felt endless annoyance.
Just like now, no matter how I try to avoid him, he will always appear in front of me for different reasons. No matter how I refuse, no matter what I say, he still smiles and looks at me silently.
Lu Qingyu would often find excuses to show up at the door of our classroom and talk to me. I was somewhat disgusted by his inexplicable friendliness and ignored him completely.
I was so annoyed that I had to think of a solution. I thought that as long as I left the classroom early after school, he would not see me and would be quiet. But the facts severely shattered my wishful thinking. I was early, but he was even earlier than me, so early that I thought he did not attend the last class at all, but waited at the door of our classroom for the whole class.
If this is not the case, then he has planted a spy in our class and told him my schedule.
I was thinking about this headache-inducing problem during the last class before school ended on Wednesday.
I was still thinking about the eyeliner when the teacher announced the end of get out of class.
The classroom suddenly became noisy, and soon the students left in groups of three or four.
I packed my things slowly, and I was not so anxious because I knew Lu Qingyu must be waiting for me at the classroom door. Since I couldn't hide away, there was no point in being anxious.
As I was packing my things, I was thinking about my own problems.
I always thought that popular boys like Lu Qingyu were cold and didn't like to talk, just like Zhuo Yian. But Lu Qingyu is not like that. He is like a ruffian and looks like a playboy all day long.
Thinking of Zhuo Yian, I don't know why, my heart suddenly hurt, and my hand holding the book trembled slightly. When I thought of the vague figure that appeared in front of my eyes when I was working in the coffee shop that day, I suddenly felt sad.
Zhuo Yian.
I can't bear to say out loud such a nice name. I can only keep it silently in my heart and let it become my most secret concern.
Yes, I like Zhuo Yian so much. This love started a long time ago, when I was very young.
Zhuo Yian is my childhood sweetheart. My love for him seems to have been deeply buried in my heart since the beginning of my love. He is the person I have been waiting for.
I have always been waiting for him. When I was little, I waited for him to take me out to catch butterflies; when I was a little older, I waited for him to come home and help me with my homework; and finally, when he went to England, I waited for him to come back and for him to like me.
Thinking of this, my heart ached uncontrollably, and the tears in my eyes suddenly blurred everything in front of me.
I already have someone in my heart and there is no room for anyone else, so I can only stay away from Lu Qingyu's pursuit.
I calmed myself down, wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes with my hands, and hesitated for a long time. Only after all the classmates had left did I pack up my things and walk out of the classroom.
Sure enough, Lu Qingyu was waiting for me at the classroom door as expected.
I walked over, ignored him and treated him as if he were air.
As usual, he should have reached out to stop me, but unexpectedly he did not do that today.
I walked over and he just looked at me silently. He didn't block my way or talk to me.
Just like performing a pantomime, he just looked at me quietly, saying nothing and doing nothing, but there was something called sadness in those handsome eyes.
I don't know why, but my heart started pounding when I walked past him.
"peaceful."
He called my name softly from behind me.
I didn't look back, but just stopped and waited for what he was going to say next. I don't know why, but I felt a little bit of anticipation in my heart.
"Do you really hate me that much?" he asked in a sad tone.
I bit my lip, feeling a little reluctant. I had never seen Lu Qingyu like this before, and I didn't know how to answer his question.
Maybe he will give up if he doesn't get an answer.
Thinking this, I gritted my teeth and left without saying goodbye to him.
Only after we walked a long way did I calm down. I breathed a sigh of relief and thought: He must want to give up. After all, he is the darling of the crowd and the man of the school. There is no need for him to stay with an ordinary girl like me.
He has really given up, right? How many people can tolerate being ignored again and again?
Habit is really a terrible thing. When I thought of this, I felt a little lost in my heart.
In this way, the "cat and mouse game" at the classroom door finally subsided for two days, and during these two days, I returned to my previous peaceful life.
However, Ning Yuan's sudden appearance that afternoon caused a small ripple in my peaceful life again.
"This Ning Jing is really amazing. She has Lu Qingyu in front of her and a handsome boy behind her." A girl said loudly in my ear without any hesitation.
After this was said, several girls echoed it.
I ignored them, looked at Ning Yuan in surprise and asked, "Why did you suddenly come to our school?"
Ning Yuan hesitated for a long time before saying, "Sister, can you lend me three hundred yuan?"
He looked embarrassed when he said this. He was so tall, but he blushed in front of me.
"This Ningjing really can't bear to be lonely!" The girl who was talking just now seemed unwilling to let me go and said another sentence.
I ignored this group of people and continued to ask Ning Yuan: "What do you want so much money for?"
Ning Yuan is a pretty good-looking kid, so they must think that Ning Yuan and I are in a relationship. In their eyes, I am just a girl who is still not satisfied with having a handsome boyfriend, Lu Qingyu.
After saying that, I still took out my wallet from my bag, because I knew Ning Yuan was not a person who would spend money indiscriminately, and he was not a kid who would ask me for money for no reason.
"Sister, don't ask me. I really have something urgent to do. I am your brother, you should know me. When have you ever seen me spend money recklessly? Sister, just believe me, and I will definitely return the three hundred yuan to you."
That's true. Ning Yuan has been sensible since he was young. Since his father passed away, he really hasn't spent a penny carelessly.
I took out three hundred yuan from my wallet and handed it to him, saying, "I'm just asking because I'm afraid you'll be cheated."
He smiled widely and said, "Sister, I'm not a child, how could I be fooled so easily? You're even more nervous than mom."
"If you keep nagging me, give me my money back!" I said in fake anger.
He stuffed the money into his pocket and said scoundrelly, "I won't!"
After he ran a few steps, he suddenly turned back and said to me loudly: "Sister, you are really my best sister!"
As soon as he finished speaking, I heard the girls behind me sighing in disappointment. Then they left and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Turning around to look at Ning Yuan, he had already run a long way away, with only a blurry figure left.
It seemed that the group of girls still refused to let me go. Even after they knew about Ning Yuan and I, they kept bringing up Lu Qingyu.
"Ah..." I sighed heavily. It was really troublesome to be involved with Lu Qingyu. Fortunately, he hadn't appeared for a few days, otherwise my life would be even more miserable.
But this excitement did not last for a few days. Just as I was singing "Today is a Good Day", he appeared at the door of our classroom again.
I thought it was the end, but I never expected that it was just halftime.
Just as the school bell rang, he appeared again at the door of our classroom like a ghost.
I ran out of the classroom happily, but was stopped by him all of a sudden.
I raised my head and looked at him in surprise. He was still looking at me with an evil look on his face as usual.
"You, why are you here?"
I was so surprised that I stuttered.
He smiled innocently and said, "Ningjing, you haven't seen me these few days, don't you miss me?"
He felt as aggrieved as a young wife who had been bullied.
"Really not." I said firmly, "Handsome Lu, stop pretending to be cute. It's been a long time since we last met, but it seems like we should wait even longer."
"Ningjing, you..."
He was obviously a little angry, and his eyes, which had been smiling just now, became narrow and long.
I looked at my watch. It was almost time for my part-time job. I didn't have the time to waste with handsome Lu. I said, "Lu Qingyu, you can be sad by yourself, but I have to go."
"Aren't you going to work?"
When he saw me leaving, he hurriedly followed me.
"Yes, that's right." I nodded, glanced at him, and added, "Children from small families like us must take making money as our responsibility."
"That's great, Ningjing." He said happily, "I just came here to pick you up to work together. Let's go together."
"That's not necessary." I waved my hands hastily.
"Ningjing!" He held my arm tightly, "Just come with me. I have a car, so you don't have to worry about being late."
When intimidation failed, he tried bribery.
"Let me go, Lu Qingyu, let me go!"
I yelled at him, but didn't dare to be too loud. Just doing this, I received several cold stares from the girls in the handsome guy's escort team not far away.
Just like that, he held my arm and wouldn't let go, insisting on going with me to the place where I was working. He looked like a real rogue. I thought: If he went to the crew to interview the little gangster, he would definitely be hired.
"Let go, let go of me, Lu Qingyu!" He was very strong and I couldn't break free at all. Seeing that the time for work was about to end, I was a little annoyed and yelled at him, "Lu Qingyu, I don't want you to send me off, didn't you hear me clearly? How can you be so shameless?"
He was stunned for a moment, then suddenly laughed and said proudly: "I am shameless and I am proud!"
After saying that, he looked at me disapprovingly, his face full of indifference.
"You..." I don't know how to describe him anymore. Once a person loses his shame, no words will work. "Lu Qingyu, you really are..."
Does this person have any self-respect? He actually said something like "I am shameless but I am proud".
I was speechless for a moment, and suddenly felt that this person was too powerful and I couldn't handle him.
Just when I was feeling depressed, I suddenly felt someone holding my hand tightly. That warm feeling was so familiar, and that familiar feeling made me so excited that I almost shed tears.
My body seemed to be shaking slightly and my lips were trembling, but I couldn't say anything.
Those hands pulled me away from Lu Qingyu and held me tightly behind him. I stood behind him, looking at his back, and almost couldn't help crying.
How to describe the feeling at this moment?
It seems that I have waited and hoped for too long. So when it really came, I felt that the scene in front of me was a little hazy, a little unreal, and even a little doubtful. Is all this real? Or is it an illusion because I miss it too much?
But if it was an illusion, why did the feeling of holding his hand at this moment feel so real? That warm feeling was clearly the tenderness wrapped around my fingertips.
Yes, I have been waiting for him for two years, and now he is finally standing in front of me.
Tears had completely blurred my vision. I stretched out my arms and hugged him tightly from behind as if I was afraid that he would run away.
I seemed to have used up all my strength and held him so tightly, as if I would never let go for the rest of my life, as if I would lose him if I let go.
I leaned my head against his back, and all my hot tears flowed onto his clothes.
I choked up for a long time before I uttered, "Zhuo Yian, long time no see."
Zhuo Yian, do you know how much I miss you? Those thoughts are deeply rooted and cannot be moved. Those thoughts have imprisoned my heart and I no longer have freedom, but I am willing to do so.
I hugged him tightly, tears streaming down my face, as if I hadn't expressed my feelings so bravely in a long time.
I know I am willful, but let me be willful just this once, let me hold him tightly, feel his warmth, and remember his temperature.
I closed my eyes and smelled the pleasant scent of Zhuo Yian. I knew it was Zhuo Yian's scent.
His body was a little stiff, and then I heard him laugh softly and say, "Ningjing, I'm back."
His voice was so gentle, so gentle that it instantly melted my heart. He said he was back, right? But Zhuo Yian, I missed you so much, why did you come back so late?
As soon as he finished speaking, my tears burst out again. I let go of his hand, pretended to be calm and patted his shoulder, calmed down and said, "So you finally decided to come back. I thought you died in England."
"Of course I won't die in England. I haven't forgotten my promise to you that I would come back alive." He said with a smile.
"I thought you forgot."
I looked at him with his gentle smile. At that moment, the surrounding scenery seemed to be eclipsed, the world seemed to stand still, and everything in front of me became a little blurry. There was only Zhuo Yian in my world. I could only see him, and he was the only one in my heart and eyes.
At this moment, I didn’t notice Lu Qingyu’s lost expression at all.
I saw Zhuo Yian laughing, and I couldn't help laughing too. When he saw me laughing and crying, he shook his head helplessly and said, "Little fool."
As he spoke, he took out a clean handkerchief from his pocket and wiped my tears gently and carefully.
"You are the fool. I'm not stupid at all. If I were stupid, I would have forgotten you long ago." I burst into laughter.
"What kind of logic is this? Your logical ability is so poor, no wonder you always fail in math." Zhuo Yian joked.
"I passed my last exam with a very high score."
I retorted, and I don’t know why, it was clearly a rebuttal, but I actually shed tears when I said it.
This is Zhuo Yian, the gentle Zhuo Yian, the one and only Zhuo Yian in the world, the special Zhuo Yian, the Zhuo Yian who always carries a handkerchief with him to wipe my tears.
I stood there obediently, letting him gently wipe the tears from my face. He frowned at me and said, "Ningjing, you are a grown-up girl, why do you still cry easily?"
"Every time I cried as a child, wasn't it you who wiped my tears?" I retorted with a smile, and those beautiful childhood scenes appeared before my eyes again.
I looked at him without blinking, and even forgot that Lu Qingyu was still standing next to me , so I didn't see the lonely and hurt look in his eyes at that moment.
Zhuo Yian wiped my tears and gently stroked my hair: "Little fool, don't cry, I'm back, right ?"
I was about to say something when a voice suddenly came from a distance: "Brother Yi'an!"
The voice was full of surprise and familiarity. I turned around and saw Ning Yuan running towards me in two steps at a time.
Soon, Ning Yuan came to us and said excitedly, "Brother Yi'an, you're back! Do you know that my sister misses you very much?"
Ning Yuan shouted excitedly, not noticing that I was winking at him.
My face turned red and my heart started pounding.
Fortunately, Zhuo Yian did not think about Ning Yuan's words carefully. He just smiled and said, "So, don't you miss me?"
"Yes, of course I do. How could I not?"
Ning Yuan immediately denied it.
Looking at Ning Yuan's righteous look, I couldn't help laughing. The three of us talked and laughed for a long time until Lu Qingyu came over and brought me back to reality from my excitement and trance.
Lu Qingyu, who had been standing in the distance watching us, came over, stood next to Ning Yuan, and asked, "Ning Yuan, won't you introduce me to him?"
After saying this, he glanced at Zhuo Yian with a very arrogant attitude.
I felt a little unhappy when I saw his look like that, and thought secretly in my heart, this guy Lu Qingyu always looks like a little gangster. When can he learn to be one tenth of brother Yi An and become a gentle and elegant boy?
I think this task is too difficult for him, and perhaps he will never be able to accomplish it in his lifetime.
I was just daydreaming when I heard Ning Yuan say, "Brother Qingyu, this is Zhuo Yian, who just came back from studying in the UK. He is a friend my sister and I grew up with, and he's like my own brother."
Ning Yuan looked at Zhuo Yian with admiration as he spoke.
"So that's how it is." Lu Qingyu dragged out the last syllable, his voice was a little strange, and he looked clearly jealous. He looked at Zhuo Yian for several times, and then lazily stretched out his hand, "Let me introduce myself. My name is Lu Qingyu, and I'm also a very good friend of Ning Jing and Ning Yuan."
He said this deliberately and raised his eyebrows at me while speaking, which seemed to me to be a provocation.
"Hello, I'm Zhuo Yian." Zhuo Yian also extended his hand, still looking very well-educated and elegant.
I ignored Lu Qingyu and he turned his gaze back to Zhuo Yian's face. Although he was smiling, his eyes were cold.
I don’t know what’s going on, I just feel that the two people holding hands are like enemies meeting, and the smell of gunpowder is very strong.
I'm not a fool, so I naturally saw Lu Qingyu's hostility towards Zhuo Yian. In order to avoid a "world war", I quickly took Zhuo Yian's hand and said to Lu Qingyu, "I have something to do today so I won't go to the coffee shop to work. Bye!"
After saying that, I took Zhuo Yian's hand and walked forward quickly without caring about his surprised expression.
I slowly stopped only after we ran out of the teaching building.
After I stopped, I was panting heavily. Zhuo Yian asked me in confusion: "Ningjing, why are you running so fast?"
I ran too fast and had consumed a lot of energy. I was so tired that I could hardly straighten my back. I looked at his handsome face and couldn't help but feel dazed.
He called my name loudly: "Serenity!"
I came back to my senses, calmed my breathing, and then explained: "You just returned home, so of course I have to cherish every minute I spend with you, so I must run."
"Is that true?"
He laughed. He knew I was talking nonsense, but he didn't ask me any further questions. This was Zhuo Yian, the tolerant and considerate Zhuo Yian.
I turned my face away and changed the subject, "Besides, I'm not going to work at the coffee shop today. I'm going to call the boss and ask for leave."
After saying that, I took out my cell phone and started making a call.
After the call ended, I looked up at Zhuo Yian and found that he was staring at me intently, with something in his eyes that I couldn't understand.
My heart suddenly started pounding, my face turned red, and I lowered my head to hide my emotions, but my heart was filled with joy.
I asked, "Zhuo Yian, where are we going next?"
I never called him "Brother Yian" like Ning Yuan did. This is my secret. I never wanted him to be my brother, nor did I want to be his sister.
In my heart, Zhuo Yian is just Zhuo Yian, the Zhuo Yian that I like.
I lowered my head and waited for his answer. He suddenly held my hand and said, "Just follow me and you'll know."
After saying that, he winked at me slyly, looking like a totally grown-up boy.
I couldn't help but follow his footsteps, but my eyes were dull. I looked at his profile and thought it was the most perfect profile in the world.
Zhuo Yian drove for a long time, and when I came to my senses, the car just stopped.
After the car stopped, I got out and looked at the store in front of me. I couldn't help feeling sad.
It was "The Wizard of Oz". Two years ago, before Zhuo Yian went abroad, he and I had our last meal here. I didn't expect that he would still remember it. He could remember such a small thing so clearly. Does that mean that he also cares about me and hasn't forgotten every little thing about me in these two years?
My heart was suddenly filled with emotion. I turned to look at him with an overwhelming emotion, not knowing what to say for a moment.
He smiled gently, took my hand and walked in. It turned out that he had already reserved a seat, so I followed him in.
I sat in a chair and looked at the furnishings around me. Nothing here had changed much from two years ago.
I was thinking about it when I heard Zhuo Yian say, "Ningjing, do you think this is like a reincarnation in some way? It's like I left here two years ago, and now I'm back here."
I lowered my head and said nothing, thinking in my heart that no matter how the world changes, my love for him will always remain with him and will never change.
Seeing that I didn't say anything, he continued talking. He talked about his life studying abroad and what happened to him in the past two years, both in terms of study and life.
He talked to me a lot, and through his words, I was delighted to know that the two years of separation did not make our friendship fade. Thinking of this, my heart finally settled down.
He stopped talking. Finally, I looked up into his eyes, picked up the cup and said, "Zhuo Yian, welcome back."
He was stunned for a moment, then he started laughing, picked up the cup, clinked it with mine, and then drank it all in one gulp.
The sky had darkened without my noticing and night had fallen.
Zhuo Yian stood up and said, "Ningjing, I'll take you home."
He drove me home and we didn't say anything else the whole way.
I sat next to him. Everything was so beautiful like a dream. I kept repeating one sentence in my mind: The boy I love is finally back. He is finally back.
And at this moment, he is so close to me, so close that I can hear his breathing. He is here, right next to me.
Half an hour later, Zhuo Yian parked the car downstairs of my house.
I waved goodbye to him after I got out of the car, he rolled down the window and looked at me, I smiled at him. Suddenly, he opened the door and walked out of the car.
I was a little surprised, and before I could react, he had already walked in front of me. I looked at him in astonishment, and he suddenly stretched out his arms and embraced me, hugged me gently, and then quickly separated.
He didn't say a word to me, and then left without looking back, leaving me standing there dumbfounded, my face flushed in the night, my heart pounding wildly.
Immediately afterwards, his car turned around in the night and disappeared into the darkness.
I just stood there silently. Although he had left, I still looked in the direction he left for a long time.
At this moment, I kept thinking of a sentence in my mind:
This is the boy I like. In my endless longing, he comes back.
He is finally back.
As I was thinking about it, I almost burst into tears. I didn't notice when Lu Qingyu appeared in front of me.
Lu Qingyu’s sudden appearance really scared me, and I hurriedly wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes with my hands.
He looked at my face for a long time with an inquiring look, and then said sarcastically: "Ningjing, it turns out that you can cry too. I thought you were a stubborn and unyielding person."
I ignored him and lowered my head not to look at him.
His voice suddenly became a little sad, and I could only hear him say: "Aren't you still an iceberg? No matter how nice I am to you, you always treat me coldly and with disdain."
I looked up and caught the loneliness in his eyes.
The moonlight is bright tonight, illuminating the entire city. The moonlight covers the earth like a veil, gentle and charming.
Under the moonlight, Lu Qingyu became quiet and sad. He looked like a sad child.
I felt a little bit sorry and wanted to say something, but in the end I said nothing.
Just as I was about to turn around, he suddenly grabbed my hand and asked me, "Ningjing, tell me, do you like Zhuo Yian?"
My heart was hit hard by his sudden words. I turned around and said to him, "Lu Qingyu, my affairs have nothing to do with you, right?"
"It has nothing to do with me?" His face suddenly changed and he snorted coldly, "Yes, it has nothing to do with me." He said meaningfully, with a hint of self-mockery in his tone.
After a pause, he continued, "Ningjing, do you think that guy will like you?"
I didn't say anything, just looked at him calmly and said, "Whether he likes me or not, this matter has nothing to do with you, Lu Qingyu."
After saying that, I broke free from his arms and turned around quickly.
I had just taken two steps when I heard his voice coming from behind me: "So, are you admitting that you like that guy Zhuo Yian?"
I stopped, turned around and looked at him silently.
He responded to my gaze calmly, his expression full of determination: "Don't try to hide anything from me, Ning Jing, you can't do it."
As he spoke, he took two steps forward and stood in front of me again.
He tilted his head and looked at me, the corners of his mouth slightly raised, his words full of provocation: "Why not let me help you and tell him your feelings."
His words made my heart instantly panic. I looked at him and he didn't look like he was joking, so I started to get worried.
When I'm not sure about the other person's feelings, I don't want him to know. If he knows, and his feelings are not the same as mine, then won't we no longer be able to be friends in the future?
I panicked a little and warned him hastily: "Lu Qingyu, don't challenge my bottom line again and again. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Do you understand?"
Seeing that he didn't say anything, I continued: "Don't make me hate you more. Don't make me hate you more and more."
I noticed that his eyes suddenly became dim and lonely. He looked at me, his eyes filled with sadness.
I turned my head away, ignoring the hurt look in his eyes.
I don't know when he turned and left. When I looked at him again, what caught my eye was his sad and lonely back.
He walked out of my sight, taking his sadness and loneliness with him.
I don't know why, but I suddenly had an illusion, an illusion that he would leave my world just like that.
What I can’t understand even more is that when I think of this, my heart actually aches.