Chapter 110: Guardian (6)
Lifting her eyelids, this was the first time that Zhao Ziheng looked directly at the empress dowager since she came into the imperial study. When the empress dowager saw Zhao Ziheng's eyes, her body trembled noticeably. She couldn't believe that there was mist in Zhao Ziheng's eyes, such sadness and helplessness?
“She’s the one I love the most.”
This simple sentence sounded like a bolt of lightning to the Queen Mother. You know, the sincerity and lack of any fluctuation in Zhao Ziheng's eyes showed his true heart at the moment, which he had never experienced before, including when facing Lin Wei.
"When did it happen?"
The Queen Mother couldn't believe that Zhao Ziheng would use such an expression and tone to express his feelings for the woman of unknown origin. Was it true or was she hallucinating? She asked cautiously, afraid that if she spoke a little louder, she would break something.
"It's been a long time, so long that I don't even know when it was, but I haven't been able to hold her in my arms for such a long time."
It was as if he was expressing his unwillingness, or as if he was blaming himself. It was unclear what kind of mood Zhao Ziheng was in. The empress dowager was stunned, as if the Zhao Ziheng in front of her was not the son she knew, the upright, resolute, wise and brave child. The Zhao Ziheng in front of her made her feel unfamiliar, so unfamiliar that she was moved and her heart ached.
"But it doesn't matter anymore. I won't abandon her anymore. I won't let her leave me again. I swear to protect her forever. This time, I will stay by her side and won't let her get hurt even a little bit."
Zhao Ziheng's voice was trembling. He supported his elbows on the table with his fingers interlaced at his mouth, as if he was trying hard not to lose control. Yin Yin's condition had not been optimistic and was still getting worse. Zhao Ziheng felt that he could not calm down when he thought of this. He no longer had the energy to investigate what had made Yin Yin become like this. Now he just wanted Yin Yin to get better soon and stay by his side. He no longer had the heart to worry about anything.
"I can't stand her being tortured any longer. Seeing her like that makes me collapse. I said I would always be by her side, but I abandoned her time and again when she needed me the most. She finally came to me, but I deliberately avoided her. If I hadn't been so persistent, if I hadn't done this, maybe this wouldn't have happened—"
Listening to Zhao Ziheng's intermittent narration, the queen mother did not move, just staring at him, watching Zhao Ziheng lose control because of a relationship she didn't know about. Before Zhao Ziheng buried his head in his hands, she clearly saw the mist in his eyes turn into watery light. What kind of emotion could make her son, whom she was always proud of, become like this? The queen mother completely forgot the original purpose of coming here. She stood there unable to say a word, let alone comfort him.
In the silent imperial study, only faint sobbing sounds could be heard. They were very light and it was obvious that the owner of the voice was trying his best to suppress his emotions.
Zhao Ziheng didn't remember how he ended up in his bedroom, nor did he know what time it was. He just walked to the side of Yin Yin who was still unconscious on the huge dragon bed. Looking at her, he felt relieved as if a heavy burden had been lifted. In his eyes and in his heart, there was only Yin Yin's figure, even though she was in a coma.
"Brother Ye said that the princess's condition has stabilized a little. If she can maintain this condition, she should wake up soon."
As if she had made great mental preparations, Xiuying said softly, and from her expression it was clear that she was still worried.
"Um!"
Zhao Ziheng responded softly, his voice almost inaudible, his eyes never leaving Yin Yin; if Yin Yin's face wasn't so pale, one might think she was just asleep and not in a coma. Having said that, Xiuying did not ignore the paleness of Zhao Ziheng's face, because Zhao Ziheng's condition was not much better than Yin Yin's.
"emperor--"
Xiuying called out softly. She knew she shouldn't disturb him, but she was still a little worried. Zhao Ziheng ignored her and continued to stare at Yinyin silently.
"...I'll go prepare some midnight snacks and medicine."
Xiuying knew that nothing could disturb Zhao Ziheng now, but whether he heard it or not, Xiuying was still worried about Zhao Ziheng from the bottom of her heart, so she had to leave, leaving Zhao Ziheng and Yinyin some time alone.
When Zhao Ziheng was the only one left in the huge bedroom, he didn't feel anything, and there was still only Yin Yin in his eyes . He held Yin Yin's hand and kissed it gently, then reached out one hand to touch Yin Yin's pale face, greedily touching it again and again; his eyes looking at Yin Yin were full of affection and a hint of sadness, and that sadness came from the deepest concern. At this moment, Zhao Ziheng had already forgotten everything, because there was only Yin Yin in his eyes.
His usually resolute face was filled with tenderness and concern, and almost no one had ever seen such an expression on Zhao Ziheng's face. In the eyes of his ministers, he looked calm and composed, in the eyes of the common people, he looked majestic like a king, and in the eyes of his enemies, he looked like a demon. Only very few people who had contact with him could occasionally see a little bit of emotion on Zhao Ziheng's almost expressionless face, and it was even rarer to see an expression as gentle as water on him as it was at this moment.
Suddenly, Zhao Ziheng spoke slowly: "I will not let you go this time. No matter what happens, I will stay by your side -"
As soon as he finished speaking, Zhao Ziheng leaned over and kissed Yinyin on the forehead, lingering for a while longer, then slightly pulled away from her and looked closely at the strange yet familiar face that haunted him; after staring at her for a long time, Zhao Ziheng moved slightly, kissed Yinyin's earlobe again, and murmured: "Please wake up, let me protect you forever."
