Chapter 108 Psychological Counseling
On the night the video was leaked, from the moment he turned on his phone until dawn, Qin Qi watched his Weibo follower number plummet, and read all kinds of disgusting insults before the studio began to control the comments and delete them.
The people who used to shout that they liked him every day insulted him with vicious words.
Some people even use his photos as their Weibo avatars, but their comments are extremely dirty, and they curse him as if he were the murderer of their father.
What suffocated Qin Qi more than the eye-catching insults were the seemingly trivial accusations.
[You have disappointed us, your fans who love you]
[I have been supporting you since your debut. I really think it is not worth it. You actually go to places like nightclubs and fight with others for a female internet celebrity. I can’t love you anymore.]
[You're thinking about dating . What's so obvious? I was really blind to think you were a good actor.]
Qin Qi watched numbly as his moral character was slandered and defamed by these strangers. He felt a little helpless, and when he was alone, he couldn't help but extend this feeling of helplessness to think about how Kong Nanzhu felt at the beginning.
The public likes to use the highest standards of human morality to judge celebrities.
Thinking about it carefully, his parents were extremely demanding of him. They hoped that a person like him with congenital character defects would work hard to be a normal person, a normal person in their eyes. Shen Jun always expressed his love for him in the form of control and restraint.
The control of his parents and the public's evaluation made him establish a wrong set of values. He didn't think there was anything wrong with this before, so he used this wrong way to love Kong Nanzhu.
Kong Nanzhu, this is probably how I feel now.
He had many expectations and demands on Kong Nanzhu, which must have made her feel suffocated, otherwise she would not have left him.
He finally understood why she chose to give up their relationship.
After thinking this through, Qin Qi took the initiative to contact Dr. Han, who had consulted him during Girls' Generation.
"Do you need me to turn up the air conditioner temperature?" Dr. Han asked considerately.
Qin Qi shook his head, "No, I still feel hot."
Doctor Han smiled; "That means someone is thinking about you."
Qin Qi said nothing and began to talk about his problems.
"My life has been a mess lately, but I don't know who to talk to. After thinking about it, the only person I can talk to is you."
Doctor Han pushed up his glasses and looked at his stiff walking posture. "It's an honor. I'm willing to be your audience. Please briefly tell me about your situation."
Qin Qi: "In the past year, Nanzhu... that is, my sister, and I got married and divorced. There was also some controversy online some time ago. Although the matter has been resolved, I don't know how to make her accept me again. I realized that what I did to her in the past was unforgivable, but I don't want to give up."
"So how is your relationship?"
Qin Qi was puzzled: "Relationship? How can there be any good relationship after divorce?"
Dr. Han adjusted his glasses and explained seriously, "Divorce only means that they are no longer husband and wife legally. The relationship between people cannot be defined by words like 'divorced' or 'ex'. The quality of a relationship is determined by whether they can live in harmony. If they can still accomplish something together, care about each other or help each other, then it is a good relationship. Some people become enemies after divorce, while others get along more harmoniously after divorce."
Qin Qi began to recall every detail of his time with Kong Nanzhu in recent times.
Of course, inevitably, he thought of their kiss in the car that night.
Doctor Han noticed the subtle changes in his expression and guessed, "It seems something worth remembering has happened."
"I dreamed that...she married someone else."
As he said this, Qin Qi's fists clenched so hard that they made a clattering sound. Even though he knew it was a dream and the person he was avoiding now didn't recognize him, his heart would still beat wildly as if he was on the edge of a cliff whenever he thought of the scene in his dream where Kong Nanzhu walked into the auditorium with another man's arm around her.
Dr. Han was well aware of Qin Qi's persistent feelings for Kong Nanzhu and watched helplessly as this poor young man tortured himself.
"If you're afraid she'll leave, don't waste your time. Otherwise, this is only a matter of time."
Qin Qi raised his eyes, his gaze was cold and painful, "I know, but I don't know how to do it better. I have done things that hurt her, and I am afraid that I will inadvertently put pressure on her again. Sometimes I feel that I am not even a complete person, and I don't seem to be worthy of her."
Doctor Han chuckled. "You sound like there's something wrong with your function."
Qin Qi was immersed in his own sadness, his reactions were a little slow, and he didn't speak for a long time.
Doctor Han's smile gradually faded, and his brows furrowed. "Is there really a problem? Why didn't you tell me before?"
If there really is a problem in that area, then all his treatment plans must be overturned!
Qin Qi's dark eyes flashed with a hint of coldness, and he reached out to untie his belt, "Do you need me to prove it now?"
Doctor Han was in his early forties. Seeing his fierce posture, he was so scared that he choked on his saliva and waved his hands repeatedly, "No, let's continue."
"I need you to help me figure this out."
"What do you want to do?"
"I don't know how to control my feelings for her."
Hearing Qin Qi honestly facing his inner desire, Dr. Han looked at Qin Qi with a smile, "Why do you want to control her? You love her, and this is your truest thought."
"It needs to be controlled." Qin Qi was still stubborn. "My love is a burden to her. I don't know how to love. I am not born with this ability. You know it better than anyone else."
Dr. Han said seriously, "In my opinion, you are not only capable of loving, but you are also a person with strong emotions. Your mistake was that you did not ask her opinion. You let your own thoughts and ideas influence your relationship. If she wanted roses, but you bought her diamonds, even if you paid more, it did not meet her needs. Just like you are now arbitrarily judging whether she needs your love, have you ever asked her?"
It was the first time Qin Qi heard such an evaluation, and his expression was a little confused. When Dr. Han said that he made the decision on his own and did not respect Kong Nanzhu's opinion, he felt like he was awakened by a club.
Is he back to his old ways again?
Isn't this the thing that Kong Nanzhu can't stand the most about him?
He already wanted to end today's conversation, but the alarm clock on the desk hadn't rung yet, and there were still three minutes and thirty-six seconds left before the consultation ended.
"Your previous misunderstanding was that you confused loving yourself with loving her."
Dr. Han felt that today's consultation had made a breakthrough, so he unconsciously wanted to finish the advice he had prepared for a long time all at once.
"For example, possessing her and doing intimate things with her will make you feel satisfied. They are for your own satisfaction. But loving her means you want to be with her, you want to make her happy, you want to please her, and your satisfaction comes from making her happy. Do you understand that?"
The alarm sounded, indicating that this consultation session was over.
Dr. Han stood up, took a book from the bookshelf and handed it to him. It was Freud's "The Ego and the Id".
"Take this book as your homework this time. I hope you can learn to face yourself. Freud once said, 'Unexpressed emotions will never disappear, they are just buried alive and will one day burst out in an uglier way.' You must first be honest with yourself."
Qin Qi took the book and said to Dr. Han before leaving, "I wish I were you."
Does a psychologist have no worries? Not only can he accept other people's negative emotions, but he can also provide guidance. Qin Qi envied him from the bottom of his heart.
Doctor Han laughed, "Why do you say that?"
"You'll probably never feel the same way I do."
Doctor Han put his hands in the pockets of his white coat and smiled. "I'm just good at reasoning. We're all just ordinary people, not gods. If I were to encounter any problems, I might be even more fragile than you. See you next time."
After reflecting on and digesting Dr. Han's advice and guidance, Qin Qi felt that he needed to take action.
The antonym of anxiety is "concrete". Instead of sitting here and having nightmares in panic, he might as well take action and change the status quo. After all, he still has to survive.
