Chapter 105: New Jade Candle (Part 2)
The snow was falling heavily.
A living person was talking about "lifetime" with a dead person. Xu Hexue turned his head almost instantly, lowered his eyes and looked at the woman below.
There was no expression on his pale face, and his eyes were still cold, with only clusters of dust floating quietly in the air.
Ni Su stretched out her finger and lightly tapped a grain of dust. "Xu Hexue, come down."
Her gentle voice was like an unprovoked temptation. Almost before Xu Hexue could react, his body had already turned into light mist and fell from the shade of the trees, and then condensed into a faint figure in an instant.
Ni Su looked at him.
The snow-white robe was covered with dried bloodstains, with no fresh wounds soaking the collar. "Don't you want me to be that person anymore?"
What?
Xu Hexue's eyelashes trembled.
"The one who recruited you back," Ni Su said word by word, "the one who made you willingly depend on him."
"no."
He said.
The hanging beast bead fell back into Ni Su's hand. She walked towards him step by step. "Master Tu Bo told me that he gave you something that can temporarily free you from the restriction between you and me, right?"
The disappearing tangerine brought Ni Su a dream.
In her dream, she met Youdu Tubo, a man with a beast's head and a human body, among the reeds by the Henshui River.
Xu Hexue noticed that she was walking slowly and seemed to be in some trouble. He raised his eyelids and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
"You haven't answered me yet."
Ni Su said calmly.
She came closer and closer, holding a lantern and a candle, and walked under the shade of the tree. The wind blew the snow piled on the dead branches down in clusters, sweeping across her temples and staining her bright red clothes.
"What did Yelu Zhen say to you before he died?" She approached, "You found him, didn't you?"
She looked at him steadily, "You want to kill Wu Dai? You want to lead the soul into the netherworld and use yourself as the price, right?"
Although the thing that Youdu Tubo gave him could temporarily save him from having to rely on the necromancer, it would cost him the price of damaging his own soul.
"You think that since you will leave sooner or later anyway, no matter what you pay, it doesn't matter to you, right?"
"no."
Xu Hexue's face remained expressionless. "It's not just Wu Dai. There are more reasons and more people who harm the Jing'an Army."
"I know."
In fact, Ni Su also understood that it was not just one person or one thing that caused Xu Hexue and the 30,000 Jing'an Army to suffer unjust accusations.
But the wronged souls in the pagoda could not wait for him for too long.
"But Xu Ziling,"
Ni Su finally approached him, "There's still time, right? Can you... wait a little longer?"
"Can you give me some time?"
She tried her best to suppress the bitterness that was surging in her heart, "We are not at the end of our rope yet. This is what you once told me."
Xu Hexue stared at her in a daze.
The jet-black bun was pinned with a pearl and gold hairpin, not the gold lotus root hairpin.
Ni Su's feet were stiff and cold, and her knees were still aching. One of her feet sank into the collapsed snow, and her body was unstable. Xu Hexue almost immediately reached out his hand, but unexpectedly, she grabbed his wrist.
The cold wind blew Ni Su's wide red sleeves, and her originally fair and delicate wrist bones were rubbed red by the snow particles.
The incense and candles in her arms and the glass lamp in her hand fell to the ground. Fortunately, the snow was heavy and the candle flames were extinguished, but the lamp was not broken.
Xu Hexue's eyes suddenly went dark.
But the darkness made his senses more acute. He felt her fingers gently caressing the skin at the bottom of his wrist, and felt her fingers slipping into his fingers and holding his hand tightly.
Her hug made Xu Hexue feel her warmth more clearly.
It was so warm that it made him shiver.
The wind and snow were howling, and the dust was floating in the air.
A few strands of hair swayed slightly. After an unknown amount of time, Xu Hexue moved her pale lips:
"Ni Axi, don't hug me, I'm cold."
"I know."
I hug you because I know you are cold.
Xu Hexue's body trembled. Even though he couldn't see anything with his eyes, he couldn't help but lower his head, and his chin suddenly touched the ornament in her hair.
Ni Su saw the silvery-white light swam like a silver snake, entwining their clasped hands, and then disappeared in an instant.
"Master Tubo told me that as long as I touch you, the things he gave you will temporarily lose their effectiveness, right?"
"yes."
Xu Hexue heard his own voice.
In front of her, when he was at a loss, he was always so gentle.
"Let's go home."
She said.
Compared to a ghost, Xu Hexue felt that he was more like a puppet at this moment. Just by hearing her voice and being hugged by her like this, the desire in his heart would turn into the silk thread in her hand, and he was willing to be controlled and constrained by her.
"What happened to your leg?"
Xu Hexue carried her on his back and followed her guidance, moving forward step by step.
"Shen Zhizhou mentioned me in his memorial, so the Imperial Concubine summoned me. Because I refused to prescribe medicine for her, she made me kneel as punishment." Ni Su changed her clothes in a hurry and brought incense and candles, but forgot to bring a lighter. Now the glass lamp she was holding in her hand could not be used for the time being. Fortunately, although there was heavy snow tonight, they still had the starry sky and the bright moonlight to keep them company.
Xu Hexue paused when he heard the voice.
He was unaware of all this.
"It's about to hit a tree, Xu Ziling."
The girl on his back reminded him, "A little to the left."
"Um."
Xu Hexue responded softly.
The goose-feather-like snow swept across the lanterns under the eaves. Those were not the ones lit by Ni Su. The shadows of the lights lined up on Nanhuai Street were reflected in Xu Hexue's empty eyes. He listened to her voice carefully, carried her up the stairs on his back, from the front hall to the back corridor.
The bright candlelight shone through the lattice window, and the hazy light and shadow fell into his eyes.
Xu Hexue raised his thick eyelashes slightly, and walked forward towards his room following the light and shadow.
Red wax was dripping in the room, and a torn "囍" character was stuck crookedly on the plain gauze screen. Xu Hexue stopped suddenly.
Ni Su was put down by him. She followed his gaze and couldn't help but smile. "It should have been cut by Qingqiong. It looks like he is not very skilled at it."
As she spoke, she placed the animal bead in the middle of the offerings, took out a few incense sticks and lit them with a fire stick, with wisps of white smoke swirling around. "Did you see Master Xiao Zhou today?"
Xu Hexue was standing there, and only came back to his senses when he heard her voice.
"Did you see what he brought? What else did you see?" Ni Su turned around. "Did you see him handing me his mother's things?"
Xu Hexue was silent for a moment, turned away, and said, "You stared at it for a long time."
Ni Su looked at him and suddenly laughed, "You have been in Youdu for a hundred years. Have you completely forgotten the rules of marriage ?"
There was a hint of confusion in Xu Hexue's calm eyes.
"Almost no one would rush to get married on the day they receive the betrothal gift," Ni Su said with curved eyes, "Also, why do you think I would agree to him?"
"Just because I stared at that hairpin for a long time?"
Ni Su walked up to him and said, "I stared at it because I remembered my mother. My mother also had a similar golden hairpin. When I saw it, I thought about how I should avoid the Queen's calculations."
"What did the concubine do?"
Xu Hexue stared at her.
"The queen intends to arrange a marriage between me and Huang Zongyu, the second son of Mr. Huang Li." There was an unburned charcoal basin in the room, and Ni Su's body finally felt less cold. "Master Xiao Zhou came here today to help me out, but I don't want to implicate him because of my own affairs."
Xu Hexue did not have a deep impression of Huang Zongyu, but when he heard Ni Su call him "Mr. Huang", he guessed that after his teacher Zhang Jing died, it was this person who took over the position of deputy prime minister.
It was not difficult for him to figure out the whole context of the matter from Ni Su's few words.
But Xu Hexue was also very clear that if Deputy Envoy Zhou only wanted to help Ni Su out of trouble, he would not have to give away his mother's belongings.
"So I went to visit Mr. Huang today ."
Xu Hexue heard her voice and raised her eyes again. Her lips were red and she was smiling. "I told him that I was mourning for my mother and also for one person."
"Ni Su..."
Xu Hexue's heart was shocked.
He had been avoiding the red candles that filled the room, which were different from the usual ones, and had even not looked at the broken and shapeless Chinese happiness character on the screen. But she kept pressing him, leaving him no way to avoid it.
After a while, Xu Hexue's Adam's apple rolled slightly, "You know, I'm different from you."
His voice trembled.
Humans and ghosts have different paths.
He had no flesh and blood, and could not walk up to her in the bright sunlight like a living person.
When he returned to the world of the living, he lived under her eaves. He had nothing, not even a clean reputation.
"The difference between us is only the difference between life and death,"
Ni Su stared at his pale and flawless face. "Humans and ghosts have different paths, but they can also end up in the same place, right? The reason I'm telling you this is to tell you that even if you're not by my side, I can still live well. If you leave me, I'll definitely be sad, but sadness won't make me lose hope in life."
"Because of you, I know the value of life. If you are not here, I will live my own life and fulfill my brother and I's wishes. But unfortunately, if it can be less, I still hope it will be less."
Ni Su reached out and hooked the belt around his waist.
Xu Hexue was at a loss as to what to do. He stepped back until he had nowhere to retreat. He staggered and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Ni Su untied his belt and took off his outer robe.
She looked at the scarlet inner robe on him, reached out to pull him up, and brought him to the incense table. The incense was burning and the animal bead was lying quietly on the offerings.
"Xu Ziling, I feel that I will never meet anyone better than you in this life," Ni Su's eyelids were wet, but she was smiling, "I originally thought that no matter what others said, I must observe mourning for my mother for three years, but now I feel sorry for my mother because I am afraid,"
She looked up at him, "I'm afraid if we miss this moment, we won't have another chance."
It is very difficult to be with him for a lifetime.
But Ni Su still said that the moment she followed the beast bead to find him.
"Let's do it right now, okay?"
She was smiling, but tears were falling from her eyes.
The red candle flickered, and in the warm yellow light, Xu Hexue looked at her for a long time. He reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"We don't worship heaven and earth, so we worship Lord Tubo."
Ni Su held his hand and knelt down with him in front of the animal bead on the incense table. "I promised Master Tubo that I would worship him for the rest of my life."
This really seemed like a dream created by Xu Hexue's desire.
His restraint and caution were all gone because of her tears and her words. He was in a daze as he knelt with her in front of the incense table. The hem of his scarlet robe almost blended into her wedding dress.
The wind and snow beat against the window, and the room was silent.
Ni Su sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at Xu Hexue rolling up her silk pants. Her knees had turned from red and swollen to black and blue. He rubbed the ointment on her knees with his cold fingertips. He suddenly said, "Ni Axi, I am ashamed."
"What?"
Xu Hexue raised her head, her cold face still without any extra emotions, but she said, "My fear made you walk towards me, and it was very difficult."
"I know you're not afraid."
Ni Su's eyelids were red. She looked at a strand of light hair falling on the side of his face. His eyes were clear and bright. She suddenly reached out and grabbed his collar. She lowered her head and kissed his cold and soft lips.
Very light, very light.
Xu Hexue's whole body stiffened and his eyelashes trembled.
Suddenly,
When her laughter faded, Xu Hexue realized that his hair was scattering like fireworks, and he had no place to hide all his worries.
Ni Su rested her forehead against his.
"I know what you think of me, but I want to tell you that even if you don't tell me anything and you leave, I will still miss you. Since we all miss each other the same way, why should we waste the time we have together now? I don't know if there is eternity in this world, but let's just live well in the present."
She said, "Xu Ziling, you are a person who swims against the current, and so am I. You know my temper. If it weren't for someone who truly understands me and believes in me, I would rather be alone than have a husband. A woman's life doesn't have to be confined to love."
Because she is also a person who goes against the current, her journey has been so difficult.
But she has never been afraid of such hardships.
Xu Hexue said nothing, but just raised his head and looked up at her. He didn't know that the lip balm on her lips was rubbed away to the corners of his lips because of her kiss.
He just saw her suddenly narrow her eyes again.
He didn't know why she was laughing, and he wanted to hug her, so he did.
His arms were clasped tightly around her.
"Are you cold?"
He asked.
Ni Su shook her head, smiled and hugged his waist.
"I don't want you to be trapped by the world,"
Xu Hexue touched her hair and said, "I don't want you to be trapped by me."
Ni Su rested her chin on his shoulder. "You have never trapped me. You are even the one who wants me to be free instead of a caged bird, right?"
"Um."
Xu Hexue responded.
He hopes that she can be free and happy. She is the woman he admires in his heart, a woman who will never be afraid of the world.
She has a long way to go in this life.
If possible, he wished he could walk with her, even if they were just grass or dust.
Ni Su extinguished all the candles in the room. Only the moonlight coming in from the lattice window and the floating dust around Xu Hexue remained in the room. However, his dust could not illuminate his eyes, so she could only walk back to him with the help of this floating faint light.
"Ni Su?"
Xu Hexue put his hands on his knees and called her.
"Why don't you call me Ni Axi anymore?" Ni Su leaned closer to him.
Her warm breath brushed against Xu Hexue's body, and she almost instantly grasped the fabric on her knees. Then she heard her say, "I like to hear you call me that."
Every word she said almost crushed his sanity.
"That box, is that the one you buried as a child?"
As she was talking to him, Xu Hexue felt her hand falling. He couldn't see it, but his senses were extremely sharp and followed her movements.
The belt was loose, and the warmth in her palms moved back and forth gently as if covering the ice.
"yes……"
His teeth chattered slightly.
"Why did you give it to me?"
Ni Su's voice suddenly came very close to him, right into his ear, "I remember, that was the private money you hid from your fierce wife."
"I said I'd give it to you."
Xu Hexue tried hard to avoid her hand.
"So what do you want me to take it as?"
Amid the rustling sound of fabrics rubbing against each other, Ni Su's hand stopped at his waist. There seemed to be a scar there, which had already scabbed over but had not healed. "Dowry?"
She passed her fingertips very lightly over the scar. Xu Hexue looked up. His face was still pale. He made no sound and did not blush. He just clenched his jaw.
Ni Su looked at him, a few strands of thick black hair hanging beside his ears, the skin on his neck was cold and pale, the veins were light blue, and his prominent Adam's apple was jagged and rolled slightly in unbearable pain.
Her fingers finally forced a sound out of him: "...Yes."
Ni Su hummed, and said, "How about I use my lifetime of incense and candles as my dowry?"
Xu Hexue suddenly stretched out his hands and held her in his arms. He didn't care that his arms were so cold, and he sucked her lips lightly with his lips, awkwardly and carefully.
"Ni Axi, why do you think there is no one better than me?"
He held her face in the dark.
"You always reflect on yourself and always hurt yourself. You were upright when you lived and sincere when you died. You said you admired me, but in fact I admired you more in my heart," Ni Su held his wrist. "Although my life is only half over, I am sure that in the future, there will never be a better husband for me than the young general."
The word "Langjun" fell into Xu Hexue's ears.
The moment she leaned over, he moved forward. Although his eyes could not see anything, he still kissed her gently, their lips and teeth entangled awkwardly.
The brief breath and the lifeless yet slightly moist eyes stripped away the cold and frosty appearance, revealing his desire.
If only he were alone.
He would hug her more wantonly, kiss her, hold her hand, and walk a long, long way with her.
It was once again the cold breath of the accumulated snow that covered the spring flowers. Ni Su looked at him in the dim, floating light. He was different from his usual appearance of being well-dressed, always proper, and polite.
At this moment, his scarlet inner robe was loose and the belt was untied. Even in death, he still had the body of a 19-year-old young general. Even though there were still scars that had not healed, he was still young and handsome.
"Don't look at me."
He said.
"I didn't see it."
She answered.
She was lying, but Xu Hexue didn't know how to respond. He hooked his hand around the back of her neck, pressed her down, and held her tightly in his arms.
But suddenly,
He felt her soft and warm hand wrapping around him.
"Ni Axi..."
He was startled and gasped softly.
“It’s so cold.”
Ni Su's hair occasionally brushed against the side of his face.
Her cheeks flushed, but there was a hint of novelty in her voice.
Xu Hexue was helpless. He couldn't even bear to push her away. But at this moment, all his restraint and forbearance were easily broken by her.
He was in pain and trembling uncontrollably.
"But it doesn't matter,"
Ni Su buried her face in his shoulder, her cheek against his, "Xu Ziling, please don't think that you are destroying me or hurting me. It's really not."
"I wanted to do this. I wanted to touch you."
