Chapter 104: Something to be wary of (1)
Often a person's change or the opening of a long-closed heart will be due to the intervention of a second person, just like Yinyin, who met Ling Menghan by chance, so she changed unintentionally and did not escape or dodge as usual; in front of Ling Menghan, Yinyin seemed to have nothing to hold back, and as long as she was not sure about something, she was willing to share it with Ling Menghan. When she vented all the emotions that had accumulated in her heart for a long time, Yinyin felt unprecedented comfort and a sense of relief.
Yin Yin's words made Ling Menghan feel that she could empathize with him from the bottom of her heart. She felt that Yin Yin had a heart that was inconsistent with her appearance. Although she didn't know what happened to Yin Yin, she could not deny the fact that she was deeply attracted to her, especially the unforgettable feeling in Yin Yin's words, which made Ling Menghan feel more heartbroken and envious.
"...Trust him? Then he must love you too, right? Otherwise, he wouldn't be worthy of your unforgettable love."
Speaking of unforgettable, Ling Menghan instantly thought of Zhao Ziheng, her first love, the person she loved with all her heart, which can also be said to be unforgettable. It may not be as unforgettable as Yin Yin's, but for Ling Menghan it was an impossible relationship that was worth hiding deeply, and keeping her longing for him and the resentment that could not be concealed.
"Unforgettable? I don't know about him, but at least I believe I should love him. I'm afraid even I don't know how much I love him."
Ling Menghan only envied Yinyin. Even if they had forgotten the past, they had not forgotten that they had loved each other. The fact that they had such a bond proved that they loved each other deeply. Yes, at least they loved each other deeply. The word "each other" felt too far away to Ling Menghan, because she knew that the person she loved would never fall in love with her, and the distance between them was even more unreachable. If possible, why would Ling Menghan not want to have a relationship of her own? Even if it could not last, she only wished to have had it once. Her love came too late, but it was lost in an instant. Before she had time to express anything, she had already lost it.
"At least I had it once, didn't I? I didn't even have it once."
Thinking of her own love affair, Ling Menghan couldn't help but blurt out, maybe just like Yinyin, it was accumulated over a long period of time, and after meeting each other, she accidentally and unpreparedly said what was in her heart; Yinyin was very surprised to hear this, Ling Menghan's description was beyond her imagination, because she became a victim of political marriage and never had it? But why did Yinyin believe that Ling Menghan had someone she loved deeply? Is Ling Menghan's love only one-sided?
"It's ridiculous, isn't it? I just realized I fell in love with that person and then I was heartbroken. No, I should say that from the beginning, before I fell in love with him, I knew that I shouldn't fall in love with that person, and that person would never fall in love with me. Even though I knew it, I still couldn't help but fall in love with him."
Before Yinyin could say anything, Ling Menghan continued to narrate, her voice full of bitterness and her expression very sad, as if she was forcing herself to hold it back, but tears could still be seen in her eyes; with such an expression, how could Yinyin not see it? She just didn't know who that person was, but she knew that person was not Zhao Ziyin. However, in this regard, what position did Zhao Ziyin hold?
"Do you hate her, then?"
This time, Yin Yin was concerned about Ling Menghan. She really wanted to know how Ling Menghan viewed the other party. From Ling Menghan's words, Yin Yin could probably guess that neither party was responsible for this matter. So, as the active party, how would Ling Menghan view the other party?
"Hate? How should I hate? Hate that he doesn't love me? Or should I hate that I shouldn't have loved him? Hate that he only loves the one and only in his heart? Or should I hate that he arranged my marriage with another person?"
Yinyin was shocked by Ling Menghan's words, especially the last sentence. There were only two people who prompted this political marriage, one was the King of Han, and the other was Zhao Ziheng. So there was no doubt that Ling Menghan was referring to Zhao Ziheng. After getting the answer, Yinyin was stunned. If it was just to facilitate Yinyin, it could be forgiven, but Ling Menghan fell in love with Zhao Ziheng. What kind of meaning does this have for Yinyin, who came to find Zhao Ziheng for the purpose of this trip?
The two fell into silence again, and this time it lasted even longer. Yinyin couldn't find the words to comfort or break the silence, and Ling Menghan was deeply immersed in grief; when Ling Menghan said it unintentionally, perhaps she thought that Yinyin could guess it, but she didn't know what it meant to Yinyin. She certainly didn't know the bond between Yinyin and Zhao Ziheng, and that the purpose of Yinyin's trip was for Zhao Ziheng.
After a long time, Ling Menghan wiped away her tears and calmed down a little. She then noticed that Yinyin was a little strange and thought that she might be too rude, so she said: "I'm sorry, I made you laugh ."
Yinyin was speechless in response to Ling Menghan who broke the silence first. She stared at Ling Menghan in a daze and couldn't utter a word, especially when facing Ling Menghan's red eyes from crying. That was all because of Zhao Ziheng. Yinyin could understand this political marriage, but she couldn't accept the fact that it was Zhao Ziheng who caused this situation. This reason was unacceptable to Yinyin, and she was so heartbroken that she could hardly breathe.
"It's nothing, actually. Maybe it's destined. It's just a political marriage. Maybe I feel better if I tell you the same thing. I hope you don't mind."
Without noticing the change in Yin Yin's expression, Ling Menghan continued to speak with suppressed emotions. Zhao Ziheng might be an indelible existence to her, an existence that would cause heartache when she remembered it, and could not be forgotten or abandoned.
