Chapter 103: The Immortal’s Wedding Banquet and Funeral in Vernacular
Xie Lian asked, “How?”
Mingyi fell face down on the altar with a "bang", and seemed to have lost consciousness.
On the other side, Shi Qingxuan remained silent and shed two lines of tears.
“…”
Xie Lian hesitated and said, “My Lords, what is going on? Could you please cheer up and comment on it in words?”
Shi Qingxuan came back to her senses, wiped away her tears, grabbed his hand, squeezed it hard, and said incoherently: "...Your Highness the Crown Prince."
Xie Lian grabbed his hand and asked, “What?”
Shi Qingxuan was stammering and unable to speak. After a while, he pushed Mingyi with tears streaming down his face, saying, "Brother Ming... Brother Ming! Brother Ming, what's wrong with you? Cheer up, wake up!"
Ming Yi lay on the table, motionless. Shi Qingxuan could not tolerate others not responding to him, so he pushed harder and harder, and finally strangled him and shook him. Xie Lian could not bear it any longer, and could not help but remind him: "Master Feng, why don't you put down the broom first, and we can talk."
Shi Qingxuan pinched the broom, turned around and shouted: "Ah? Your Highness, what did you say? I can't hear you clearly!"
Xie Lian was helpless and shouted into his ear, “Master Wind Master! The one in your hand is not Master Earth Master. Master Earth Master is over here, over here!”
At this moment, Mingyi suddenly sat up. He suddenly turned back into a man, his face was ashen, and he said, "I have a demon in my heart. Please help me get rid of it."
Xie Lian was shocked that a spoonful of soup could bring out his inner demons. He stammered, “…No…”
Shi Qingxuan pointed at Ming Yi, his eyes wide open, and said, "Wait, you! Who are you to dare to show off in front of this Wind Master? Where's Brother Ming? Come on, I'll cover you, let's take him down together first." As he spoke, he grabbed the broom with one hand and used the Wind Master's Fan with the other. With this fan, the entire roof would surely fly off immediately. Xie Lian hurriedly went up to hug him and said, "No, no. My two lords, please wake up!"
“Hahahaha hehehehehe hoohoo…”
Qi Rong pounded the ground outside the door and laughed, cursing, "You deserve it! You dog official! Go to heaven! It's so refreshing! I feel relieved!"
The two priests in the room staggered here and there, groaning non-stop. Hua Cheng leaned against the wall with his arms folded. Xie Lian looked at him, then at the wind master and earth master who were curled up on the ground with their heads in their hands, and whispered, "Did you add too little water... Why is the reaction bigger than Qi Rong's?"
Hua Cheng raised his eyebrows and said, "I think it's good. It's probably a matter of their taste. It happens all the time."
Xie Lian had never thought about what Qi Rong usually ate, and what the priests usually ate. In comparison, the priests felt a greater gap and stimulation, and their reactions were naturally more intense. Of course, he had never thought about whether there was anything extra in the pot after it passed through Hua Cheng's hands.
Feeling depressed and guilty, he fed Shi Qingxuan and Mingyi seven or eight bowls of water each, and the two priests slowly woke up. Although their faces were still as pale and their eyes were still staring, they were at least conscious and their speech was clear. The only small problem was that Shi Qingxuan still couldn't stop crying and bit his tongue from time to time when he spoke, but it was no big deal.
After a lot of commotion and an hour later, the four of them finally sat down neatly around the altar.
Ming Yi was still lying face down on the table, motionless, like a dead body. Xie Lian said sternly, "Master Feng, you just said that you had something important that you wanted my help with. What was it?"
Shi Qingxuan, who looked haggard, cast a soundproofing spell on the door to make sure that no one outside could hear him, and then he said in a hoarse voice: "...It's like this. Ahem, ahem. Your Highness, you have lived in seclusion in the city, and have practiced in the human world for eight hundred years. You have traveled a lot and seen a lot, so you must have encountered many demons and monsters, right?"
Xie Lian folded his hands and said, “I have encountered some.”
Shi Qingxuan said: "Then I would like to ask, have you...ever met the 'Baihua Immortal'?"
Xie Lian was startled, and said, “Weeping at a wedding banquet, a white-talking immortal?”
Shi Qingxuan lowered his voice and said, "That's right!"
Suddenly, Xie Lian felt a chill run down his spine.
At the same time, it seemed as if someone was sneering softly in his ear and humming an extremely strange tune.
The small Puqi Temple, which was originally warm and bright with sunlight leaking in through the windows and cracks, had dimmed without knowing when, as if it was shrouded in a huge shadow. Xie Lian's limbs were getting colder and colder, as cold as iron.
“…”
“…”
“…”
Xie Lian couldn’t help but wrap his clothes tightly around him. He felt that it was necessary to speak directly, and said, “I want to ask… who is laughing? Who is singing? Who is blowing the air conditioner behind me? Who made the room so dark?”
Shi Qingxuan wiped away her tears and said, "Oh, it's all me. I cast a little magic. Don't mind it. It was just to make the atmosphere more lively."
The other three people at the altar were speechless. After a long while, Xie Lian held his forehead and said helplessly: "...Master Wind Master, otherwise, it's better not to blow this cold wind. In this weather, no one is wearing much. Besides, the atmosphere was actually good, but you added the cold wind and the music... It ruined it."
Shi Qingxuan said, "Ah? Is that so?" Then he waved his hand to remove the cold wind blowing on the backs of the four people, and said, "But the room should be kept dark. I'll light a candle, it will feel better." As he said that, he really took out a candle and lit it. The dim light of the fire illuminated the two snow-white faces and the two white faces with blue in them. It really created a great atmosphere and a great feeling. I'm afraid that Qi Rong outside the room would be so scared that he would scream and say something like a ghost.
The other three didn't want to say anything. Huacheng leaned back, while Mingyi remained straight. Xie Lian rubbed his brows and said, "Let's continue... Where were we talking about just now? White Talk Immortal. You should have said it was a bad-mouthed monster earlier, but when you said White Talk Immortal, I didn't even realize what it was."
Shi Qingxuan was shocked and said, "Your Highness, you are so brave. It's not nice to call you that!"
Although the Baihuaxianren is called "xianren", people call it "xianren" just for the sake of courtesy and to save face. They are afraid that if they call it unpleasantly, it will come to you if it finds out. In fact, everyone wants to call it "lousy-mouthed immortal" and "lousy-mouthed monster", the uglier the better. Because it is really hateful.
Yes, ordinary demons and ghosts are scary at best, but this one is "hateful". Because it likes to suddenly appear and pour cold water on someone when they are happy. Imagine that a couple is getting married, and such a thing appears at their wedding banquet, drinks their wedding wine, and suddenly says: "It won't be long before you will be separated!" Or, if someone's master gets promoted, it suddenly appears and says to everyone's congratulations: "In a few years, you will be thrown into prison!"
If it gets attached to a person, it will follow him like a shadow, tightly bind him, and constantly issue the opposite curse when the person's happy event comes. You can imagine how hateful it is. Especially for those families who are very taboo about bad omens, encountering this thing is very annoying. No one wants to be entangled by this thing, but if you encounter it, you can only think that you are unlucky, because no one has figured out how it chooses people to attack.
It looked like Shi Qingxuan was very afraid of this thing, but Xie Lian didn’t care and said, “It’s nothing. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
To be precise, this thing is afraid of him. Shi Qingxuan became more alert and said, "It seems that Your Highness, you have encountered this before? Is it possible to completely wipe out this kind of thing?"
After a moment of silence, Xie Lian said, “I did encounter two of them many years ago, but they never appeared again. I don’t know if they were completely wiped out, but based on my experience, they shouldn’t be too difficult to deal with.”
Shi Qingxuan was overjoyed and said, "Two? You dealt with both?! Then I really found the right person! What's going on?"
Xie Lian then told the story. The first one was this: Many years ago, Xie Lian passed by a small town. A wealthy businessman sent his daughter to study in the imperial city. He felt that his daughter was doing well, so he made a big fuss about her and was very happy. However, he did not know that his happiness would turn into sorrow. At the farewell banquet, a voice suddenly said loudly, "Your daughter will overturn on the road and fall to her death on the cliff!"
The rich businessman was furious on the spot and wanted to grab the person who was speaking, but after the person finished speaking, he crawled under the table and disappeared out of thin air.
Now, everyone was scared. It just so happened that Xie Lian had collected some scraps and leftovers from this family that day and was about to take them back. When he heard about this, he knew what had happened and told the rich businessman not to worry. He asked the rich businessman to hire more than 20 guards, and together with himself, they carefully escorted the young lady to the imperial city and waited by her side for a while. A month later, the young lady won first place in a beauty contest, and her chance came.
That night, everyone held a banquet in a restaurant in the imperial city to celebrate for the young lady. As expected, another voice in the crowd said, "In the future, you will be..."
Upon hearing this, Xie Lian immediately caught the thing hiding in the crowd and grabbed its throat to prevent it from saying that. He then used a talisman to lock its body, beat it up, and then asked someone to get a carriage to carry it on the cliff. When it reached a corner, he cut the reins and let the carriage carry it down the cliff, fulfilling its own curse on others.
The other three asked, “That’s it?”
Xie Lian said, “That’s it. To deal with a rotten… well, a white-talking immortal. There are three ways to deal with a white-talking immortal: First, don’t let it open its mouth, and kill it before it opens its mouth. You can prevent this for a while, but not for a lifetime. It’s impossible to prevent it.
"Second, if it speaks, don't let the person it curses hear it. Anyone who hears curses when they are happy will inevitably feel a little scared, and this thing feeds on and enjoys this fear. The more scared you are, the happier it is. If you are really scared by it and lose your mind, as it said, and mess up the things you are doing, its magic power will increase by leaps and bounds. But unless you are deaf, you will hear it one day. In fact, even deaf people may not be able to escape, because someone pierced his ears to avoid this thing, but it was useless.
"On the other hand, if you ignore it no matter how it curses you or pours cold water on you, it will be helpless against you. Therefore, the most effective method is the third one: let yourself have more happy events, and don't take it seriously at all. It doesn't matter if it says it or not, just forget it after hearing it. Make yourself stronger and stronger, and don't follow the miserable future it has set for you. In this way, in the end, it can't get pleasure from you, and most likely it will leave in disgrace. Of course, it is also possible that it is just lurking temporarily, waiting for the next opportunity to take advantage of you."
Although this third method is the most effective, it is also the most difficult to do. After all, who in the world can truly be as hard as a rock and not be disturbed by the slightest wave? The more Shi Qingxuan listened, the tighter his brows frowned. He asked, "What about the second time? Did you solve it the same way the second time?"
Xie Lian said, “The second time, it might not be of much use to others. After all, the situation is special.”
"What's the special method?"
Xie Lian said, “It came after me.”