Chapter 102

"Pei Xin," Li Wenyu looked at him quietly, as if there was a handful of cold snow between his brows, "You don't force me everywhere like before, maybe because you have grown up and understand It's meaningless, and I don't bother to do such a thing again. So whether it's an illusion or reality, what's the point of keeping me here? We are all suffering."

He sighed and looked extremely tired: "I am. I am grateful to you. Sometimes I feel so grateful that I feel that I have no right to hate you... Can we just pretend that nothing happened in the past? When you are cured, we can all live a good life, okay?"

Pei Xin said immediately ? Explanation: "I'm not in pain. I'm not in pain at all when I'm with you! I don't want to force you because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that you will hate me, dislike me, and stay away from me. I don't want any of this. I just want it from you." Get a little bit of good emotions, a little bit of... love."

He said, his eyes were more like being burned red, and bitterness and pleading were about to come out. He tentatively held Li Wenyu's hand: "I'm sorry, I hate it. What I did to you before...I shouldn't threaten you or force you with despicable means, I'm a bastard! But I will never do that again in the future. You can hit me and scold me, and return all the harm to me. I just want you to stay with me...don't let me go."

Li Wenyu didn't pull out his hand, but his face became increasingly ugly. He took a deep breath: "Isn't it painful enough for you to torture yourself like this? ...Do you know that all people in this world should be equal, and any relationship needs to be equal, whether it is a friend or... a lover. If you punch me, and I slap you in return, it won't hurt either of us.

"I really don't feel pain!" Pei Xin straightened up hurriedly, "If I can get hurt for you, it's worth it even if I lose my limbs... What do you need, my money, my life, everything ?" It's all yours... I'm just afraid that you don't want it."

No matter how sincere and sincere Pei Xin's face was, Li Wenyu couldn't be so sentimental as to think that Pei Xin really loved him. The barrier and gap between them was like a distant and turbulent bay. He would not and could not try to cross it, let alone how Pei Xin could truly love someone.

He even felt that the Pei Xin in front of him, who was so feverish that he was in a daze and could show off his pity and act like a rogue, was more cruel than the previous Pei Xin who was gloomy and indifferent and threatened him. It would only make people unable to help but imagine such a possibility, even if forced to do so. I bit my teeth until they were bleeding and could no longer say any hurtful words.

"I really don't need it." Li Wenyu gritted his teeth and pushed his hand away. "There is no relationship between us. I have no qualifications or obligation to accept everything from you."

Pei Xin's Adam's apple trembled and rolled, and then Also rolling down were the tears that had been in his eyes for a long time: "You saved me, took care of me, and even cared about whether my hands could continue to play the piano, all just because of gratitude... don't you have any other feelings at all?"

Li Wen Yu watched the tears on his face intently. The bright tears flowed from his eyelids to his chin, and then disappeared, just like a drop of water from birth to death.

He remembered the day when he first forced himself to believe that Pei Xin was not so hateful. It was the first time he knew that Pei Xin could play the piano, and it was also the first time he drank alcohol in his life. After so many years, he didn't know why he still remembered that day. Pei Xin’s birthday.

Seventeen-year-old Pei Xin drank wine and sat on the sofa in this apartment. His eyes were so cold that he couldn't tell whether he was sober or drunk. He lazily told Li Wenyu about his parents and his family.

That may be something Pei Xin would never say in normal times, just like the words he is pulling Li Wenyu to say now, he is humbled to the earth because of his thirst for love.

Li Wenyu always thought that Pei Xin was a madman, and only then did he roughly understand the reason for his madness. Being hurt doesn't make you crazy, not being loved does.

The moment he understood this, he looked up and saw the faint silver light in the young Pei Xin's apparently indifferent and dull eyes, like a broken mirror turning into a crescent moon, foggy and absent-minded. color.

At this moment, Li Wenyu realized that he had never forgotten these eyes.

In such a long time, he has never seen similar eyes among thousands of people.

As people grow up, they gradually become immune to some things, so when they are young, they are extremely easy to be impressed. Some things last forever, and some things become an afterthought.

Li Wenyu was silent for too long. He intuitively felt that he should say something immediately, but his lips closed tightly but he could not speak.

Pei Xin's eyes lit up every minute of his silence, but the tears did not stop, as if the water in his body was evaporating from the heat, and he tried to capture every bit of Li Wenyu's face. mood. They were so close, so close that he could reach out and hug his thin back, but he did nothing and did not dare to do anything: "...Xiao Yu, you hesitated, right?"

Li Wen Yu said. As if he had just come back to his senses, he lowered his eyes calmly and quickly took out a tissue from the bedside and stuffed it into his hand: "You have a fever, wipe your face first, and I will find antipyretic medicine."

Until he turned around. In an instant, Pei Xin finally hugged his waist from behind.

Li Wenyu's whole body tensed up almost immediately. Pei Xin's face was pressed against the back of his neck. The thin layer of clothing was soaked with tears and seemed to disappear. He could only feel the burning flesh, which was so hot that his Numbness in the back of the neck.

"Don't leave yet," Pei Xin's voice was very nasal, and the tip of his nose and lips seemed to be restrained and brushed against his neck unintentionally. It was depressing and passionate, crazy and desperate, "Don't go, okay..."

Li Wenyu's face turned pale. Bai Bai struggled to push him away, but when he touched the bandaged left hand, he stopped helplessly: "Let me go first."

Pei Xin refused to let go, and his left hand gradually became weak due to the exertion. It hurt. After a while, Li Wenyu turned around from his arms.

Pei Xin knelt beside the bed, buried his face in Li Wenyu like a puppy, and breathed all on it.

Li Wenyu pursed his lips uncomfortably and held his face up. In his hands, he felt the tips of his upturned hair, his hot cheeks and his warm tears.

"Pei Xin," Li Wenyu felt exhausted physically and mentally, "can you please stop being like this first? We will talk about the future things later. We can talk about this after you are cured... I am really tired today."

Pei Xin Looking at his somewhat ugly expression, he nodded hastily and let go of his hand.

Li Wenyu's stiff body finally relaxed, turned around and walked out.

The lights in the living room turned on, and there was the sound of drawers being opened and rummaged through. After a while, he appeared at the door of the room again. Pei Xin still maintained the same posture as when he left, staring motionlessly here with red eyes.

Li Wenyu felt a deep sense of powerlessness in his heart. He walked to the bedside with a cup of dark antipyretic medicine: "Drink the medicine and go to bed after drinking it."

After the lights went out again, Li Wenyu turned his back to Pei Xin huddled in the corner of the big bed, but he had not slept at all for a long time. His mind felt like something exploded and left a mess of pieces.

The sky outside the window has dimly lit up, it is the moment when night and day intersect, and it is gray.

He sighed silently, and when he turned over, he suddenly came face to face with Pei Xin's face, which was a little dazed and sluggish.

Pei Xin obviously didn't expect that he would turn around, and he was a little at a loss for a moment: "Xiao Yu...can't you sleep?"

Li Wenyu was stunned for a moment, lying on his side, and there was only darkness and vagueness in front of him. on the ceiling, his voice was very tired: "Don't call me that."

"Then how should I call you..." Pei Xin was a little confused, his tone was soft, slow, and serious, "Should I call you brother?" ? Brother Xiao Yu, how are you...?"

Li Wenyu felt it was a bit funny, and twitched the corner of his mouth coldly, thinking to himself, he really looked like a child now.

But he closed his eyes and didn't answer anymore, as if he finally felt a little sleepy.