The sky can have seagulls to kiss the sea on its behalf, but I can only like you silently from a long distance.

Seven years later, Li Ziye can still clearly remember the day when she was picked up from the countryside. There were endless fields on both sides of the road, and the air was filled with the familiar scent of lotus leaves. An inadvertent turn would reveal a whole lotus field. It had just rained, and the air was fresh and moist, with the fragrance of soil.
She was wearing a bright red plaid shirt that her sister had just bought for her from the county town, a pair of washed-out jeans, and a pair of half-new sneakers on her feet, with mud on the laces.
The new mother next to her was wearing a fashionable dark green dress. The layered hem of her skirt looked like the layered green waves on the surface of the lotus field blown by the breeze on the roadside. She was also wearing a white suit jacket, looking smart and beautiful.
Li Ziye had been hiding near the car door, not daring to say a word.
She was a child who lived in the fields for a full fifteen years. She grew up with the fields and birds, saw mountains, walked on muddy paths, and lived in a bungalow with only tiles to cover her head. The farthest place she had ever been to in her life was the county town - to go to school.
But suddenly one day, the woman who claimed to be her biological mother broke into her life and said in tears that she was her daughter and she was coming to take her home.
This feeling was like someone was playing a trick on her, or like a dream. Even when the woman gave her adoptive parents some money and took her away from home and put her in the car, she still felt like she would wake up from the dream at any time.
But no... never... She felt like she was on a roller coaster, rushing all the way to the highest point, and this feeling made her panic.
The new mother ignored her panic and tired look, and just tried to hold her hand, repeating the words she had heard countless times: "Zi Ye, Mom and Dad really didn't intend to send you to the countryside... It was really because Dad's work at the time didn't allow us to have another child. We just wanted to send you to their home. We have never given up on you, really..."
Li Ziye really wanted to cover her ears with her hands. She didn't want to listen to these high-sounding reasons.
Whatever the reason, they placed her in someone else's home after she was born for fifteen years! Fifteen years later, she realized that she didn't belong to the place that raised her. She was an abandoned child... She was the redundant child who might cause her biological father to lose his decent job, so she was abandoned.
But who gave parents the right to abandon her to others when they are afraid that she will be a burden, and to call her back when they need her?
How could she get used to it? Her family should be the mother who wears an apron and works hard at the stove to prepare delicious meals for her every day, the sister who brings her all kinds of beautiful trinkets every time she goes out, and the father who is serious and likes to smoke local tobacco with an old pipe...
Even the little black dog Wangcai that she adopted two years ago can be considered her family.
But she didn't want to call these people who suddenly broke into her life and took her away by force as her family. They were just bandits, just ordinary bandits who robbed and kidnapped, but what they kidnapped was her life.
Seeing that she ignored him, the new mother sighed deeply and pressed the flesh of her palm lightly with her fingers, as if trying to soften her: "Zi Ye, mom and dad don't want to disturb you like this...but dad has a serious illness, and his biggest regret in this life is that he couldn't grow up with you..."
Only when talking about this did the new mother's expression change from the joy of reunion after a long separation to an inextricable sadness.
Yes, this was the reason why they had come to her adoptive parents' home with such great force and tried every possible means to persuade them to take her back - her biological father had a terminal illness and might not live long.
She was brought back to fill the gap in his life, but no one cared how to make up for her gap.
She didn't hear what was said afterwards because she fell asleep in the cool breeze outside the window.
In her dream, she was still living in a bungalow, sitting in front of a shabby desk, writing her homework stroke by stroke... When she woke up, the car had stopped in front of an independent two-story building in the city.
It's not an exquisite villa that belongs to the rich and powerful, but just an ordinary self-built house. Of course, compared with a home in the countryside, it's like a palace.
While helping her carry her luggage, her new mother introduced the house: "This house was built ten years ago, but it still looks quite new. I chose the tiles. I always think this reddish-brown color looks good. Look, the flowers on the windowsill on the second floor were planted by your brother. He is studying in another city now, and you will be able to meet during the summer vacation. He has always wanted to call you... Do you have a cell phone?"
Li Ziye followed her closely, keeping his head down and listening to her from beginning to end, without interrupting her. He only shook his head when she asked this question.
Mobile phones... these things are far away from her. Although her sister and father have them, they are like treasures and she dare not touch them.
Seeing Li Ziye shaking his head, the new mother frowned and said, "I still have an old phone that can be used. I'll go find it later. You can use it for the time being. When I have time, I'll take you for a walk on the street and buy you whatever you need."
Li Ziye just stood there without saying a word.
The new mother continued, "Dad should be back from the hospital today. Wait downstairs for a while after he packs up his things."
Li Ziye just nodded lightly and still didn't say anything. She followed her new mother upstairs. The wooden stairs made a crisp sound when she stepped on them, and the carvings on the railings were so beautiful and elegant. These things reminded her that she didn't belong in this place.
I glanced back casually and saw a piano in the corner of the hall. The sunlight happened to shine in through the window and flow on the elegant body of the piano.
Her brother...can he play it?
Anyway, she can't. She can harvest rice, pick lotus seeds, wash vegetables, cook, feed pigs, raise geese...but she can't play the piano. To be more precise, this is the first time she has seen a piano so close. Usually, she can only see others playing the piano on the old color-screen TV at home...
The new mother turned around and happened to notice Li Ziye's gaze, so she smiled faintly and said, "I bought it a few years ago. I can't learn it, but your father and brother can play it very well. When your father is at home, you can ask him to teach you."
Li Ziye simply withdrew his gaze without saying anything.
She didn't want to learn, she just thought fate was funny.
They have the same blood and the same parents. Her brother has lived in such a unique house since he was a child and has received the best education, but she lives in a remote area and has to think about how to climb the hill every day so that she can get home as quickly as possible to help her adoptive mother with housework.
She didn't resent her past life, nor did she hate it. She just felt more and more how cruel and selfish her biological parents were. But at the same time, she also remembered clearly that her adoptive mother held her hand in her palm and said to her with tears in her eyes: "Aye, I don't want you to go back, but your father's old injury needs money for surgery. The doctor said that if the surgery is not done, his leg will be useless...Aye, it is right for you to go back to your biological parents' home, after all, they gave birth to you..."
Li Ziye did not struggle any more and left the home where she had lived for fifteen years.
Who says that destiny belongs to oneself? There are always so many people and so many things, like a pair of hands, rushing to force people onto a path they don’t want to go.
The new mother opened Li Ziye’s suitcase - it was prepared to pick up Li Ziye. Li Ziye himself only had a tattered schoolbag.
The suitcase was filled with colorful clothes, which the adoptive mother had put away and folded neatly, leaving not a single piece of clothing missing from spring, summer, autumn and winter.
However, the new mother frowned at the suitcase and said, "Zi Ye, these clothes are too old. I'll buy you new ones."
Li Ziye just stood there silently, without saying a word.
The new mother was afraid of hurting her feelings, so she took out the clothes one by one and put them into the closet: "Zi Ye, I didn't mean that. I just hope... I hope to be better to you..."
When she said this, her voice was a little low, with a hint of guilt and sadness, and it was indescribably complex.
Li Ziye still didn't answer, standing there like a sculpture.
The new mother could only sigh.
When the two of them packed up and came out of the room, a car horn sounded outside the door, and then someone opened the door, followed by a loud old man's voice: "Ah Hui, have you picked up ?"
The new mother quickly agreed, "Yes, I've brought him back." Then she turned around and called Li Ziye, "Come downstairs with mom."
Li Ziye continued to follow closely, feeling a little scared.
When she got downstairs, a group of people were already sitting in the living room. The middle-aged man sitting in the middle had gray hair on his temples, was tall, and looked intimidating without even getting angry. He was wearing a shirt underneath, and his coat was only draped over his shoulders and not properly put on… His eyes passed over the others and fell on Li Ziye. He trembled slightly and was speechless for a long time.
The new mother pushed Li Ziye and said, "Ziye, go over there and call daddy."
Li Ziye hesitated for a long time before walking over and called out in a very soft voice, "Dad."
In an instant, the man's eyes turned red and moist. He raised his right hand tremblingly, and his broad palm fell on Li Ziye's head: "You've grown so tall... Good, good... Just a little thin..."
His voice was trembling, his breathing was unstable, and the tears in his eyes seemed about to burst out , but he held them back.
The grandmother next to him also grabbed Li Ziye's hand and said, "It's good that you're back, it's good that you're back. When you return to the Song family, you must be filial to your parents, do you understand? This is the place where you are truly connected by blood..."
Li Ziye . Perhaps a long time later, the only thing she could remember was Song Shian's red eyes and tears when she first met him. The soft and fragile appearance of a middle-aged man hurt her deeply.
After returning to the Song family, Li Ziye was naturally arranged to attend the best local high school, where the students were either very good at academics or had very rich families. Li Ziye was like an outlier, she was quiet and couldn't keep up with the learning progress of the city children, and she always had a local accent when reading English.
So gradually, she became a loner, going to and from school alone, and few classmates came to play with her during breaks. There was only one person in the class who would talk to her - her deskmate, Bai Yuwang, who was also the study committee member.
He is quite tall and has a handsome appearance. He is a very sunny type of boy and is very popular in the class. Both boys and girls like to play with him. He and Li Ziye are people from completely different worlds.
In fact, Li Ziye didn't want to pay attention to him at first, but he would poke her back with a pen from time to time. When she turned around, he looked at her seriously and said, "The English teacher said that we can't use blue pens. Why are you still using them?"
Li Ziye was stunned for a moment, said "Oh" softly, and then wanted to take his notebook back.
As a result, Bai Yuwang pressed the notebook down again and gave her a sunny smile: "Just kidding, I asked the teacher for you, and your homework is A, do you want to buy me a popsicle to show your gratitude?"
Li Ziye was stunned for a moment, and after a long while he finally uttered two words: "Thank you."
At this time, the girl sitting at the same table with Li Ziye was a little unhappy. She turned around and gave Bai Yuwang a look: "Look at you, you are trying to please someone but she doesn't even want to talk to you, and you are trying to get close to her..."
Bai Yuwang did not refute, but just laughed: "I am determined to be a study committee member who follows the mass line, so what? I just care about and help my classmates, so what?"
His deskmate was so amused that he couldn't laugh or not laugh. In the end, he could only say, "Humph, you have melted the hearts of all the classmates, but I guess you can't shake her."
These words were said in front of Li Ziye, but she acted as if she didn't hear them. She continued reading her book and doing her homework, as if everything around her had nothing to do with her.
Of course, she heard what they said, but now she couldn't even accept her own life experience, and she didn't know how to accept her family and friends.
They all thought she was arrogant and aloof, but in fact she was more afraid and panicked.
After Bai Yuwang finished his argument with his deskmate, he poked Li Ziye's back with a pen and said, "Don't take what they say too seriously. Just ignore it."
Li Ziye nodded.
Bai Yuwang frowned: "Sister, besides nodding and shaking your head and saying 'oh', can't you say something else?"
"What?" Li Ziye found it quite strange... She had not been talking to anyone since the start of the school year, causing almost everyone around her to stay away from her. No one was willing to talk to her.
As for Bai Yuwang... to use a not-quite-appropriate description, he is like a fly that cannot be driven away.
Although she didn't find it annoying, she also felt that there were very few people with such patience and thick skin.
Bai Yuwang rolled his eyes and said, "Tell me about the teacher, classmates, and TV series... By the way, whose songs do you like to listen to?"
Li Ziye thought for a moment and said, "Teresa Teng."
"Teresa Teng?" Bai Yuwang asked back, then scratched the back of his head, "I didn't expect you to still be such a nostalgic literary girl..."
"No..." Li Ziye really wanted to tell him that her family only had second-hand tapes that her sister bought from the flea market, all of which were Teresa Teng's.
She rarely hears the songs of the stars they are following now, nor does she like to listen to them very much.
"That is..." Bai Yuwang really wanted to find out something from her few words, but he could only watch her utter one or two words at a time, feeling anxious.
Li Ziye thought about it and shook his head: "Nothing, there's nothing I want to listen to. I'm going to prepare for class."
Bai Yuwang was so angry that he almost slammed the table! He has been very popular since kindergarten. No matter how introverted or cold a person is, they will become optimistic and cheerful after spending some time with him. So he used to have a very warm nickname, called Little Sun.
As a result, all his tricks failed when they met Li Ziye.
Li Ziye is like a safe that hides many secrets, but he just can't find the key.
But every time he looked into Li Ziye's eyes, he felt an indescribable chill in them. It was like a gust of wind in the mountains at night, so cold that people shivered, but they could not see through anything.
Li Ziye, his eyes are just like the night.
After school today, Li Ziye's table was supposed to be on duty , but his deskmate left after saying he had something to do. Li Ziye didn't say anything and just took a broom and started cleaning by himself.
As a result, when she was holding a trash can and preparing to dump the garbage at the garbage dump in the playground behind the school, suddenly several people stood in front of her and stopped her. One of the girls even kicked the trash can in her hand, and the garbage fell all over the floor.
Li Ziye was stunned for a moment, and in panic she looked at the girls standing in front of her - they were all familiar faces, probably classmates, but she couldn't remember their names.
"Li Ziye, we have disliked you for a long time. I want to see how capable you are of giving me a bad face every day!" A girl pushed her hard, and she hit the wall behind her. You could even hear the sound of bones hitting the wall.
"Ha! That's right! Last time I called her, she pretended not to hear me. She really thinks she is so great and looks down on everyone." Another girl came over and slapped her in the face with a wave of her hand.
With a "pop" sound , half of Li Ziye's face was hot and had five red fingerprints.
She retorted in a very light voice: "I didn't..."
The girl raised her hand and slapped her again. Her nails were so long and sharp that they almost drew blood on Li Ziye's face. "You're still saying no? Aren't you very arrogant? Why are you pretending to be weak here? If you have the guts, hit me back. Keep giving me that deathly face!"
"That's right, stop pretending to be innocent. Ah Mei said ten words to you and you couldn't even reply two, and Bai Yuwang talks to you every day, why are you pretending to be so high-handed? You must be happy in your heart, so many people like him, and he talks to you, you must be very proud, right..."
Li Ziye clenched her fists and cold sweat broke out on her back. She didn't know what to say, but no matter what she said, these people wouldn't believe it.
She just tried very hard to stand against the wall, her face burning. The pain went deep into her heart. Her heart was beating fast, and her breathing was becoming more and more difficult... She began to miss her home in the mountains, at least... at least no one bullied her, at least she didn't feel that she was different from the people around her, at least she was very content at that time, not like now, wanting to hide herself, hiding in another world, so that no one would force her to speak, force her to fit in, and no one would hate her so much.
"Huh? Look, are you going to cry? Are you going to start acting pitiful?" A girl grabbed her hair, her tone full of disdain, and was about to start fighting again.
Suddenly, a faint but powerful male voice came from the corner. It was just three words: "It's so noisy." The girls instantly quieted down.
The girl stopped and turned to look in the direction of the sound in surprise.
As a result, I saw a tall boy standing under the street light, with his hands in his pockets and a book tucked under his armpits. From a distance, I thought his face was very handsome, a bit like the male lead in a hit movie.
But his eyes were too cold.
If Li Ziye's coldness is the night wind, then this boy's coldness is the ice field, vast and silent.
The girls who were teaching Li Ziye a lesson were a little slow to react, and said tremblingly: "We are just teaching her a lesson on how to behave. What does it have to do with you?"
But immediately, another girl nudged her arm with her elbow: "It seems to be Ye Xiang from Class 3... I heard that he is a very ruthless person..."
She had just said half of her words when Ye Xiang casually said, "I don't care what you are doing, get out of here as soon as you can."
The girls hesitated for a moment, but still left. They just wanted to teach Li Ziye a lesson, and it was not worth it to provoke Ye Xiang for her.
Although Ye Xiang's personality has always been criticized, there are still many girls who like him.
The girls were filled with resentment because they had a feud with him because of Li Ziye.
After they left, Li Ziye squatted against the wall, tears streaming down her cheeks. She reached out and tried to wipe them away, but more tears rushed out the next second.
She really didn't know what to do. She was like a fish that originally lived in the sea. Suddenly, she was pulled ashore. The whole world was turned upside down, and she could never go back to the sea again.
No matter how lonely or uncomfortable she felt, she could only endure it.
She used silence to fight everything, but could not get peace.
Just when she was about to cry alone as a way to vent, the cold male voice sounded again: "What's the use of squatting there and crying? It will still be the same if you cry till the end of time. Those who are supposed to bully you will still bully you. If you don't become strong, anyone will dare to step on you."
Li Ziye paused for a moment, then raised her head... Ye Xiangzheng bent down and looked at her with a hint of amusement, his eyes were calm even when he looked into her eyes: " If you have the ability, make those who make you cry feel bad. If you only know how to cry, you will always be a loser."
Li Ziye suddenly stopped sobbing and was stunned for a moment by Ye Xiang's words.
Although he helped her drive away those little gangsters, he had no intention of comforting her. Instead, he looked down at her with disgust.
His words seemed to be a bucket of cold water poured over Li Ziye's head, waking her up. Yes, ever since she was taken back to live with Song's parents, she seemed to have not even struggled except for being negative and pessimistic. She complained that fate was unfair, was afraid of this strange world, and never thought about facing it or integrating into it.
If this goes on, will she be abandoned by the world?
Thinking of the cold looks of her classmates and the few little girls who had just caused trouble, she felt a chill rising from the inside out.
Just as she was stunned, suddenly there was a "pop" sound, and a pack of tissues was thrown at her feet. Before Li Ziye could say thank you, Ye Xiang had already turned around, leaving behind an inexplicable back, and walked away.
Li Ziye held the tissue in her hand, pulled out a piece of paper, and tried hard to wipe off the dirt on her face and body. But soon she found that even though the dirt on her body had been wiped off, the cold and evil look of the young man just now could not be wiped off.