After a long, long time, I often think of you, Chu Yubai, on cloudy days when no one is around; I think of our first meeting, and our farewell. It seems that in the blink of an eye, you have roared through my life like an inevitable hurricane, and from then on, no other person can enter my world again.
Thinking of you makes me old, and time has passed so quickly.

Let’s go back to six years ago, on June 15, 2009, when I was 12 years old and met Chu Yubai.
That day, the sky was cloudless and blue like the ocean in a dream. I went out in the sunny afternoon, and my mother chased after me and kept calling, "Jasmine, Jasmine, did you bring sunscreen?"
"I've put it in my bag a long time ago." I patted the backpack in my hand and went downstairs.
My mother was worried, so she stood on the balcony and shouted down, "Come back early after swimming. Today is your birthday, and your grandparents are coming over for dinner tonight."
"I know!" I raised my head and waved towards the balcony. The sunlight fell on my face, so hot and so dazzling.
The sound of cicadas chirping could be heard faintly in the distance, and the air was filled with a familiar sweet scent, that was the smell of jasmine.
That’s right, because I was born in the plum rain season when jasmine flowers bloom, so my name is Su Moli.
Before I met Chu Yubai, I didn’t like my name at all. I always felt that the name my parents gave me was too perfunctory and frivolous, just as ordinary as me.
However, on that afternoon when the cicadas were chirping in the distance, I met Chu Yubai, and everything became different.
That afternoon wasn't much different from any other afternoon.
After I arrived at the swimming pool, I hurriedly greeted my coach as usual and couldn't wait to get into the water.
It was the afternoon break, and there was almost no one in the swimming pool. I have never been good at getting along with people, so I enjoyed this kind of alone time very much, jumped into the pool, gently moved my arms and legs, and swam around like a leisurely little fish.
The cool water slid over my skin, which was pleasant and comfortable. There was only the sound of the water splashing in my ears, without any other irrelevant sounds. I swam very happily.
When I crossed the boundary between the shallow and deep waters, I hesitated for a moment and slowly swam towards the deep waters. Although I knew that there was no difference between the shallow and deep waters except for the depth of the water, people are always like this, always curious about things they cannot do and places they are not allowed to go, and I am no exception.
With the mentality of challenging myself, I swam towards the deep water area with my arms. When I looked up to breathe, I found that the pool wall was not far away. I sped up and moved forward. Just when I was one meter away from the pool wall, an accident suddenly happened. My leg cramped.
I calmly tried to stand on the bottom of the pool with my other foot, but I forgot that this was a deep water area of ​​1.8 meters. A large amount of pool water quickly rushed into my nose and mouth, and my body lost balance in an instant.
All my calmness and first aid knowledge disappeared at that moment. I frantically slapped the water and called for help intermittently. However, it seemed that there was no one in the empty swimming pool. The only response to me was the sound of "splashing" water.
The coach just saw me going down to the shallow water alone, so he went out without any worries. Even the lifeguard should have gone to have lunch at this time!
The deep fear surged towards me like the water in the pond. I gradually lost the strength to struggle and sank to the bottom of the water...
At the moment when I was about to lose consciousness, I saw a flexible and agile figure quickly diving towards me. I suspected that it was my beautiful illusion, just like the plot in the fairy tale, Cinderella was in trouble and the prince rushed to save her without hesitation.
The next second, I realized that it was not my hallucination. Someone lifted my body out of the water, and a large amount of air rushed into my nose. I choked and coughed bitterly. The painful suffocation in the last second made me panic. I reached out my hand desperately to grab something.
I closed my eyes in fear, the sound of my own splashing water filled my ears. I struggled desperately and almost pushed the person who was holding me into the water.
Then, I heard that calm and gentle voice: "What's your name?"
It was a young man with a clear voice. When he asked me this, he held my waist tightly with his hands. I opened my eyes and tried hard to see his face clearly, but I couldn't do it.
"Hello, what's your name?" He asked again softly. Such a pleasant and gentle voice was like a breeze in the hot summer, which made people suddenly sober.
"Jasmine," I answered, holding back a cough, "My name is Jasmine."
"Okay," he said seriously, "Molly, now I'm going to put my arms around your neck and take you to the edge of the pool. Don't be afraid, look up and breathe, and try to relax, okay?"
It was so magical, his voice seemed to calm people down instantly, and I couldn't help but nod slightly.
He seemed worried and whispered, "Don't worry, I will always hold your hand. Trust me, Jasmine."
I don’t know why, but he just said a few words and my frightened heart immediately calmed down, as if there would be no danger with him around.
"Okay." I nodded and stopped struggling, letting him hold me in his right arm and slowly swim towards the shore.
Two minutes later, he struggled to lift me out of the water. I climbed out of the pool using my hands and feet and sat down on the edge of the pool. I was still in shock and almost crying.
The boy leaned against the pool wall, breathing heavily, and said with a smile, "It's okay, Jasmine."
"Thank you for saving me." I tried hard to look at his face, but found several scratches on his neck caused by fingernails. They must have been left by my panicked struggle just now.
I suddenly remembered that when he just lifted me up from the water, I almost subconsciously pushed him back into the water because I was afraid.
He must have choked on a lot of water because of this, right?
"I'm sorry," I wanted to reach out and touch the scar on his neck, but I was afraid of hurting him, so I had to freeze my hand in the air and said, "I'm sorry, I'm so stupid, I almost killed you just now."
He didn't say anything, but just smiled slightly, blinked and said: "That's just the subconscious reaction of a person who fell into the water. It's okay. You didn't mean it."
He was so considerate, and I blamed myself even more: "You could have ignored me just now. We are just strangers anyway."
"But, we already know each other!" He jumped out of the pool, grabbed the big towel on the chair by the pool, and covered me with it. "I'm Chu Yubai. Hello, Jasmine!"
He stretched out his hand to me with a serious look on his face, not treating me like a child at all.
I followed his example and said solemnly, "I'm Su Moli. Hello, Chu Yubai!"
The 12-year-old me gently held his hand and thought hard for a long time. I couldn't find an appropriate adjective in my limited vocabulary, so I could only say awkwardly: "Your name... is really nice."
"Nice" was the best adjective I could think of at that time.
"Your name is also very special!" He wrapped my hair with a towel and rubbed it gently, trying to help me dry my hair. His movements were careful and gentle, as if he was carefully protecting some precious treasure.
I suddenly felt inexplicably wronged, bit my lip, and shook my head gently. What's so special about a girl born in the jasmine season being named "Jasmine"?
"No," I said stubbornly, "My parents were just lazy. Jasmine flowers were blooming when I was born, so they just named me Jasmine. They were parents who were too lazy to even think of a name."
"That's not the case, of course it's not the case!" The young man named Chu Yubai said seriously and confidently, as if he knew the whole truth, "Of course your parents gave you a name with a purpose."
I looked at him in confusion, and he ruffled my hair, smiled and whispered to himself: "Jasmine, Jasmine..."
Then he looked at me and said, “You know what these two words remind me of?”
"What?"
"In a small town in the south of the Yangtze River, during the plum rain season, in a small alley with bluestone slabs, in the breeze and drizzle, a beautiful jasmine flower quietly blooms. No matter if there will be strong winds and heavy rains in the future, it will always stand in the wind and rain, with a long lasting fragrance." He said in a charming voice, "I think your parents must hope that you will be like that jasmine flower, no matter if there will be storms and dark clouds in the future, you will be able to persevere and be that 'noble and fragrant' self."
Is that so?
So mom and dad’s thoughts are so profound and lofty?
Maybe, maybe not.
But I know that when Chu Yubai said that, he really meant it. For the first time, I vaguely understood that everyone can have something special and can be different from others.
This boy with a nice name and clear voice really makes people feel warm, like an angel in a fairy tale!
"Really?" No one has ever explained my name like this. They always laugh at it, which makes me feel inferior because of it.
It was Chu Yubai who taught me how to overcome inferiority and how to discover the unique meaning of my name.
"Of course." He smiled, "Jasmine, Jasmine, what a beautiful name!"
I listened attentively, trying to remember every curve of his mouth and every tiny detail of his pronunciation when he said my name. On this sunny summer afternoon, because of Chu Yubai, my ordinary name became beautiful.
I wanted to ask him a lot of questions: where does he live? What school does he go to? Will he come to the swimming pool again in the future?
But, I don’t know why, when he smiled at me, I became stupid and couldn’t say anything.
I was struggling over which question to ask first when someone suddenly called his name from a distance: "Chu Yubai, let's go! Hurry up, or you'll be late for the tutoring class!"
"I'm coming." He stood up and hurried to the door. After taking two steps, he seemed to suddenly remember something, turned around and waved at me, saying, "Well, Xiao Moli, goodbye."
The sunlight came in directly from the window and hit his profile. I tried hard to remember how he smiled, but I couldn't see his appearance clearly.
Chu Yubai, I whispered his name in my heart, and silently said to his back that gradually melted into the sunlight, we will definitely meet again, Chu Yubai.
On my 12th birthday, I escaped death and received the most precious and important gift in my life - meeting Chu Yubai.
But in fact, it took me a long, long time to truly understand how important Chu Yubai was to me.
To me, he is more than just a lifesaver. He is a ray of light that suddenly appeared in my inferiority and loneliness, illuminating my way forward, igniting my self-confidence, and letting me know that I can become a better person.
However, a long, long time later, when I understood all this, my dear Chu Yubai, where were you?
Later, the swimming pool became a place I had to go every day. I naturally thought that I would meet Chu Yubai there again. However, the days passed quietly in waiting and anticipation. Two weeks passed and he never showed up again.
I was extremely depressed because of this and often lost focus in class. I was even more upset because I didn't ask him which middle school he went to and what grade he was in that day.
During breaks, I always stood in the corridor in front of the classroom door in a daze, trying to stare at every figure passing in front of the teaching building, fantasizing that maybe one day Chu Yubai would suddenly appear in my sight. But I knew clearly that all this was in vain. Even if Chu Yubai really walked past me one day, I would still miss him.
When I was 12 years old, I felt that deep despair and helplessness for the first time.
But even though I knew this would be the result, I still refused to give up. On campus, on the bus, on the way home, whenever I met a boy with a similar figure to Chu Yubai, I would always try my best to recall the tone and expression of Chu Yubai when he spoke to me, in order to judge whether the person in front of me was the Chu Yubai I was looking for.
However, in the end, the result was always disappointment. No one's voice was as gentle and calm as Chu Yubai's, like a cool breeze in the hot summer, refreshing the heart.
Because of the loss, I became more withdrawn. Occasionally, on campus, someone would greet me from a distance, and I would just stand there awkwardly, until that person walked past me unhappily, and I still couldn't call out her name.
This made them distance themselves from me even more, and they laughed at me openly: "That Su Moli, what's so great about her! Every time I greet her, it's as if I can't see her."
"Yeah, I handed in her homework for her last time, and I talked to her the next day. Guess what? She didn't even remember me!"
"Yeah, why is she so proud? I don't know who she thinks she is!"
"It's just pretending to be noble."
Someone turned to me deliberately and said loudly: "Then let her be alone, and we will ignore her from now on!"
I just lowered my head and smiled without saying anything. I don't blame them at all, because they don't know that I have face blindness.
Yes, it is the extremely rare face blindness. Since I was a child, I have not been able to see everyone's face clearly, or rather, in my eyes, everyone's face is exactly the same, including my own. Others only need to remember a face to recognize a person, but I need to judge from the voice, expression and habitual movements, which is too difficult. Therefore, I can only recognize the closest people at a glance.
Therefore, even for Chu Yubai, who is so important to me, I can't see his face clearly and don't know what he looks like. Even if he is right in front of me at this moment, I can't recognize him at all.
This kind of helplessness and despair can never be understood by people who have not experienced the same thing, so I never mention this rare "defect" of mine to people I don't know well.
The only person who knows my secret is my desk mate and good friend, Song Xiaoyan.
After I was distracted during self-study class for the Nth time, Song Xiaoyan finally couldn't help but poke my arm with a pen and whispered, "Hey, Jasmine, why are you a little bit weird lately? What's wrong?"
"I..." I stammered, fixing my eyes on the textbook, not knowing how to tell her how important Chu Yubai was to me.
"What's the matter? Tell me quickly, you're making me anxious to death." Song Xiaoyan, who has a quick temper, has always been worried about me.
I sighed softly and said, "Xiaoyan, if I want to find someone, but I only know his name and that he might be in this city, and I don't know anything else, including what he looks like, how can I find him?"
Song Xiaoyan blinked curiously: "Who is that person to you?"
I was stunned. Yes, that person, who is he to me? A friend? Obviously not yet.
“That person!” I looked up at the gorgeous sunset outside the window and couldn’t help laughing. “He is a very important person to me. He is like… like a big brother who pointed me in the right direction when I was lost.”
The school bell suddenly rang at this moment. Within a minute, everyone left quickly, leaving only me reminiscing about the past and Song Xiaoyan listening silently.
So, on that evening when the sunset was beautiful, the setting sun leaped over the treetops and fell into the window. In the distance, the sound of cicadas chirping, representing summer, could be faintly heard. I sat in the golden glow of the setting sun and slowly told Song Xiaoyan how 12-year-old Su Moli met 16-year-old Chu Yubai.
It wasn't actually a very long story, but I talked for a long time. After I finished, I was silent for a while, then I turned to ask Song Xiaoyan who was sitting next to me and said nothing: "Xiaoyan, do you think he is a very important person to me?"
"I don't know anything else!" Song Xiaoyan, who was always lively, suddenly became taciturn. "I only know that he is your lifesaver."
She paused, then nodded and said, "He is very important. Of course, he is a very important person to you."
I laughed happily, and my eyes became a little moist. This person is so important to me, but I might never recognize him again.
"You just said, what was his name?" Song Xiaoyan seemed to suddenly remember something and grabbed my arm excitedly.
"Yubai," I looked at her in confusion, but an inexplicable hope surged in my heart, "His name is Chu Yubai."
"Is it the Chu in Chuhehanjie?" She looked at me nervously, "Yu in Yujian, or Bai in Jiebai?"
I nodded.
"Oh, Jasmine, you fool, idiot!" She stood up, took my hand, and ran out of the classroom quickly.
"What's wrong?" I didn't understand what she meant at all. "Xiao Yan, what's wrong?"
She didn't say anything, just pulled me along and ran. Five minutes later, she pulled me to a stop in front of the bulletin board in the junior high school building of our school and said breathlessly, "Moli, look! Look!"
"What are you looking at?" I asked blankly.
She was gasping for breath and unable to speak, but just pointed excitedly at several mid-term performance lists of the high school department on the bulletin board.
I looked in the direction of her finger. It was the first-year high school grades list. When I glanced at the list, I was stunned. There, on the list, the first row, the first line, there were three words written: Chu Yubai.
Maybe happiness came too suddenly, I suddenly couldn't believe it: "Maybe... maybe it's just the same name?"
"Ah, what's the point of guessing whether it's just a name match or the real person?" Song Xiaoyan said without hesitation, "Won't you know tomorrow when you go to the door of his classroom and take a look?"
I lowered my eyes, not wanting her to notice my depressed mood.
She finished speaking frankly, then realized that she had said the wrong thing: "I'm sorry, Jasmine, I didn't mean it... I'm really not a good friend. I knew you couldn't tell other people's faces apart, but I still..."
"It's okay." I comforted her, "Although I don't know what he looks like, and I've only seen him once, but I remember his voice and the tone of his voice very clearly. I can recognize him, Xiaoyan."
I said it so firmly and assuredly, but in fact I was very uncertain inside because I was not sure if I could recognize him just by his voice, and I was afraid that I might miss him even if I was right next to him. That was why I was so determined to comfort Song Xiaoyan and myself, and I believed that I could do it, as if in this way, I would be able to recognize him at a glance among millions of people.
"Really?" As a good friend, Song Xiaoyan probably understands me, and she should have seen the hesitation in my eyes.
"Of course!" I nodded, my eyes determined, looking at the three clear words on the advertisement column - Chu Yubai.
"That's great!" Xiaoyan believed me.
But I felt inexplicably sad: "Xiao Yan, at that time, when I met Chu Yubai in the swimming pool, it would have been great if you were there too!"
"Um?"
“In that case—” I sniffed and tried to smile, “you can help me look at his face and help me remember what he looks like. Then I won’t lose him, and I won’t lose Chu Yubai.”
I bit my lips gently. I was smiling, so why did my nose feel so sore?
"Jasmine..." Song Xiaoyan gently put his arm around my shoulders, was silent for a second, and then patted my shoulders heavily, "Ah, tomorrow, tomorrow you will be able to see him. You should be happy, Jasmine."
"Yes." I also smiled, "I am very happy, Xiaoyan."
Tomorrow, tomorrow I will definitely see you, right, Chu Yubai?
Thinking about it this way, I was so happy that I almost burst into laughter. I said to Song Xiaoyan generously: "Xiaoyan, I will treat you to your favorite ice cream."
"Great." Song Xiaoyan cheered and teased me, "Hey, Jasmine, are you from ancient times? Even if you don't go to the school BBS, you should have heard of Chu Yubai from Class 1 (2) of Senior High School! You didn't even know that Chu Yubai was in our school, and you were depressed for so long. Originally, you didn't have to wait until now to find out who he was."
"Is he... famous?"
"Of course..." Song Xiaoyan dragged out the words exaggeratedly, "In our school, the elementary school department directly promotes to the junior high school department, and the junior high school department directly promotes to the high school department. The results are very good. You just saw it. They are the first in the grade every year. The most important thing is..." She stopped deliberately.
I couldn't wait to ask, "What is it?"
"The most important thing is that he is not arrogant at all for someone with such good grades. According to the girls in the senior grade, Chu Yubai is humble and polite, very nice to everyone, and always smiles when he sees strangers."
A breeze blew towards me, and the amber sunlight leaked through the gaps between the leaves and fell between my eyebrows. I squinted my eyes and smiled silently. Sure enough, the Chu Yubai I knew was a warm and kind person.
Well, see you tomorrow, Chu Yubai, the warm and refreshing girl.
Even though I set two alarms, I was still so worried that I didn't sleep well all night. I was afraid that if I got up late, I would miss the opportunity to see Chu Yubai before the first class in the morning.
Suffering from insomnia, I simply got up at six o'clock, took the earliest bus to school, and arrived at the Grade 1 (2) classroom on the first floor of the high school teaching building at five minutes past seven.
The campus was empty in the early morning, without a single person in sight. However, I still hid like a thief, quietly entering the flower garden opposite the Grade One (Two) classroom, and chose a stone bench facing the classroom door to sit down, staring intently at the road leading to the classroom door. Although I knew clearly that no one would come so early, I was so stubborn and persistent that I stared at the road in front of me without blinking, for fear of missing anything.
Soon, the silent campus began to become lively. The sounds of bicycle bells, laughter, and reading gradually came to me. I turned a deaf ear to them. Someone slowly walked towards me, and my heart inexplicably began to beat faster and faster. Could the Chu Yubai on the list be the Chu Yubai I was looking for?
I stared at the people passing by in front of me, and looked at every boy who passed by calmly, trying to judge from their tone and expression whether they were the Chu Yubai I was looking for. However, each of them hurried into the classroom without saying a word and with no expression on their face, leaving me no chance.
Time passed by little by little, and soon it was time for class. I was so frustrated that I almost cried. A boy walked past me gently. He was wearing a nice navy blue short-sleeved shirt and white linen trousers. He was clean and neat, but I couldn't see his face clearly. Was he gentle as jade, or handsome and elegant?
The preparatory bell rang at this moment. I sighed softly and lowered my shoulders, but the boy suddenly took a few steps back and walked in front of me.
"Who are you waiting for?" He turned his head to look at me, his voice was soft and elegant, and a smile slowly spread from the corner of his mouth, "Little Jasmine?"
As if I was under a spell, I was frozen in place. Who else in the world could have such a gentle voice besides Chu Yubai?
"I..." I suddenly stuttered nervously, "I...I'm waiting for you."
I was secretly upset. He wouldn't believe it, would he? In his eyes, I had clearly seen him walk by but didn't recognize him. Now I suddenly said I was waiting for him. In his eyes, this was a completely self-defeating lie, right?
However, he smiled without questioning and said, "I see, so, what do you want to talk to me about?"
"No...no," I shook my head, then nodded and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I'm also in this school. That's right, Chu Yubai, it turns out we've been in the same school all along."
"What a coincidence." He smiled, "Then we can meet often in the future."
"Yes, what a coincidence." I couldn't help but nod and smile foolishly.
The rosy morning light gradually faded, and the sun came out. I raised my hand to block the sunlight and looked up at him. The amber sunlight fell on his face, and I saw the beautiful curve of his lips. The world seemed to stop at this moment, and even time seemed to stand still.
However, soon, the class bell rang suddenly, and he reached out and rubbed the top of my head, saying, "Go back to class quickly, or you will be scolded by the teacher if you are late."
"Yeah." I nodded, and while running towards the teaching building for my grade, I turned back and said to him, "See you next time, Brother Chu Yubai."
That’s right, at that time, I simply regarded him as an older brother who had saved my life and guided me on how to get rid of inferiority complex, a warm and reassuring brother, and Chu Yubai, who was like a bright light in my confused life.
That's all.
Soon, I met Chu Yubai again, but this time I still didn't recognize him.
It was a rainy evening. I was standing under the eaves of a house on the street to avoid the rain. Someone waved at me across the street and through the heavy rain curtain.
Is this someone I know? I was at a loss.
He suddenly rushed towards me in the pouring rain, his clothes soaked in an instant. He used his schoolbag to cover my head and said anxiously, "Come on, let's go to the store across the street and sit for a while. The rain is too heavy, and you'll get wet if you stand here."
His voice was hoarse and deep, something I had never heard before. I subconsciously took a step back.
He seemed very surprised, and was stunned for a second before looking down at my face again, asking in confusion: "What's wrong? You...you don't recognize me, Xiao Moli?"
When the three words "Little Jasmine" came out of his mouth gently, I suddenly realized who he was.
"Chu Yubai?" I felt ashamed for not recognizing him. "Your voice..."
"Oh, I have a cold, so my voice sounds a little strange?" He laughed, and suddenly looked at me, "You... do you recognize people by their voices?"
He is so smart that my secrets are about to be revealed. Besides, I am actually happy to share my secrets with him.
So, that evening, he treated me to a hot drink, and I told him in detail the secret that had troubled me for years, to the point where I was sad because I didn't recognize my mother when I first had memories as a child and she looked at me with sad and strange eyes.
I finished, taking a sip of my hot cocoa and saying in frustration, “I’m just a freak, right?”
"No." He said softly, "Little Jasmine, I think you are the luckiest person in the world. Because at least, when you get along with people, you never need to consider their appearance. You only care about their hearts. Therefore, you are the purest person in the world."
"Really?" I don't know why, but every seemingly simple word he says always makes people happy for no reason.
"Of course." He smiled and flicked my forehead with his finger. "Besides, in the future, boys who pursue Xiao Moli will also be very lucky."
Although my cheeks were burning, I couldn't help but ask curiously, "Why?"
He suddenly asked: "Who is your idol?"
"Hmm?" Although I didn't know why he asked that, I still answered him very seriously, "Sesshomaru from the anime Inuyasha."
"Then, every boy who pursues Jasmine in the future can be Seshomaru!" He said it so seriously, without any intention of making fun of me.
"It seems so." I couldn't help laughing, but then I felt lonely again, "But, I may never know what the person I like looks like."
"Hey, wait a minute." He quickly opened his schoolbag, took out a compact digital camera, took a quick selfie and said, "Just like this, when you meet someone you like in the future, take a picture of him and show it to me, and I'll tell you what he looks like."
He said it without hesitation, as if he would always be there for me, as if we would be friends for life.
No, it’s not as if, Su Moli is going to be friends with Chu Yubai forever.
"Yeah." I nodded, contentedly drinking the warm hot drink. "Can you send this photo of yours to my email?"
He smiled and nodded.
The rain outside stopped, and the large glass windows were reflecting the seven-color light of the rainbow, as well as the shadows of Chu Yubai and I. I quietly locked this most beautiful picture in my deepest memory.
Before long, I was able to magically recognize the gentle Chu Yubai from the crowd at a glance. Even if he didn't speak, even if he had no expression on his face, I could always recognize him accurately.
Finally, after the break, when I called out Chu Yubai's name accurately in the crowd, my good friend Song Xiaoyan couldn't help but ask me in surprise: "Moli, how did you do it?"
I was like a little fox with a secret. I just smiled and didn't say anything.
Song Xiaoyan, who was full of curiosity, immediately had a new focus. She looked at Chu Yubai who was walking farther and farther in the crowd, touched my arm and said, "Hey, Jasmine, I seem to have discovered something very strange. Why is it that every time I see Chu Yubai, he is wearing navy blue clothes? Although he looks good in navy blue, it's really strange..."
"He deliberately wears navy blue clothes every day." I lowered my head, the corners of my mouth couldn't help but curl up, but the corners of my eyes were wet.
"ah?"
"Yes, he only wears navy blue clothes so that I can recognize him in the crowd at a glance." I couldn't help but express my guess.
Strictly speaking, this is not a guess, it should be the correct answer. Although Chu Yubai never directly said why he always wears navy blue clothes, I know it must be what I think. Because he is such a warm and considerate person!
My eyes were wet, my nose was sour, and tears were rolling in my eyes, but I tried not to let them fall. My heart was warm and I was so touched, not because he only wore navy blue clothes for me, but because he did that for me, but he never let me know.
I looked up and saw that navy blue figure in the distance was getting smaller and smaller, but always clear and distinct. The light golden sunlight fell behind him. Through my tearful eyes, he looked like an angel with a glowing body.
I asked Song Xiaoyan seriously: "Xiaoyan, tell me, how can I become someone like Chu Yubai?"
How can I be as good as him, as reassuring as him, and as warm as the sun as him?
"How can I become a person like Chu Yubai?" My carefree good friend Song Xiaoyan lowered his head and thought seriously for a while, and then said a philosophical sentence that made me look at him with admiration.
She said: "You do whatever Chu Yubai does. Yes, that's right. Just follow Chu Yubai's pace."
It was probably from that time that I made the first important decision in my life, clumsily but firmly, to follow in Chu Yubai's footsteps.
Time passed like the wind whistling through the branches, and in the blink of an eye it was July 2011.
Chu Yubai was admitted to the C University he had longed for, and I was about to become a junior high school student.
In the past two years, in order to catch up with Chu Yubai, I put almost all my energy into studying. I, who had originally mediocre grades, finally ranked among the top ten in the grade, but I knew that this was far from enough.
As summer vacation is approaching, there are more and more topics about high school graduates on campus, and girls are often heard mentioning those three familiar words, Chu Yubai.
I heard from them that Chu Yubai has transformed into a handsome man with a super good-looking face, but I know that none of this is important. What is important is that my idol, or the object of my admiration has changed from Seshomaru to Chu Yubai.
I firmly believed that for two years, I had followed Chu Yubai's footsteps with an admiring attitude just because I wanted to be someone like him and because I admired him.
However, many things had already changed quietly, but I did not notice it until I suddenly realized that Chu Yubai was about to say goodbye to this small town in the south of the Yangtze River and leave me, and then those emotions that I had hidden came surging in like a tidal wave.
It was the last self-study class before the summer vacation for junior high school, and Chu Yubai came to see me. He was wearing a navy blue T-shirt, white casual pants, and white canvas shoes, leaning against the railing opposite the classroom. Even without doing anything, he was handsome enough to attract the screams of the girls in our class.
I was secretly delighted in my heart, but pretended to be calm as I walked out. The rosy sunset fell on him, forming a faint halo around him. I always felt that he was the most brilliant light in my life.
I walked up to him, looked up at him facing the light: "Chu Yubai." Over the years, I always liked to call him by his full name.
"Yes, Jasmine." As he gently agreed to me, he naturally reached out to touch my hair.
"Chu Yubai, I'm grown up now." I pouted and turned my head away from his hand. I felt inexplicably sad. He always touched the top of my head without any hesitation, like he was treating a child.
But he smiled nonchalantly, took out a few books from behind and handed them to me.
"What is it?" I curiously leaned over to look at the cover of the top book.
"My winning formula for the three years of high school." He put the book in my hand, "Now I give it to you."
Holding the heavy book in my hands, I suddenly realized what he meant by saying these words: in the coming September, he would leave here and leave me.
I wanted to keep him here, but I knew that I should let him fly higher and farther. I wanted to travel with him, but I knew that I needed to stay in this small town and work hard for another four years before I could have the opportunity to go out and walk side by side with him. Whenever this happened, I envied the girls of his grade.
I hugged the book tightly and lowered my head. I had a lot of farewell words in my heart, but I couldn't say them out.
He leaned over and looked me in the eyes, and said to me in the most gentle voice in the world: "Hey, Su Moli, you must get into C University."
"Yes, I definitely will." I raised my head and nodded vigorously, treating these words as the most important agreement between Chu Yubai and me.
He laughed softly with joy.
My tears were about to fall as he laughed. "But, by the time I get admitted to C University in four years, you will have already graduated from C University and left."
From now on, it seems that you and I will be separated forever, Chu Yubai.
You see, Chu Yubai, even though I tried my best to catch up with you, I could only ensure that I wouldn't be left further and further behind by you, but I would never be able to catch up with you.
I am like a bird without feet, flying non-stop, because I know that you are right in front of me, but I also know clearly that no matter what, I can never catch up with him and soar with him under the same blue sky.
Reality is always so cruel and helpless.
"It's okay." He reached out and rubbed my hair as usual, and this time, I didn't let go.
He said, "Jasmine, remember, no matter where I am, you know how and where to find me, right?"
I looked at him, saying nothing, feeling so sad that I was about to cry. I wanted to stubbornly say I didn't know, but I knew I couldn't.
“Jasmine,” he whispered, “give me your phone.”
I handed over my phone obediently. He flipped through it quickly and frowned: "Jasmine, you don't have QQ and WeChat in your phone?"
I said hypocritically, "I'm not interested in those." Because I couldn't tell him that I gave up all entertainment in order to catch up with him.
He stopped talking and quickly helped me download and register QQ and WeChat. A few minutes later, when he returned my phone to me, the notification sounds of QQ and WeChat rang at the same time. I clicked on them and saw the same message he sent me: "Hello, Jasmine, I am Chu Yubai."
I looked at the only contact in my QQ and WeChat who was marked as "Chu Yubai", and I felt inexplicably at ease, as if his name lived in my contacts and he was always by my side.
Many years later, he is still the only contact on my QQ and WeChat. I stubbornly believe that as long as this is the case, no one can replace his place in my heart, ever.
However, I didn’t know about the changes that would happen later at that time, so I felt at ease and happily replied to him with a big smiley face emoticon on QQ and WeChat.
Chu Yubai received the reply and shook his phone at me: "Look, Jasmine, no matter where I am, I promise that you can always find me."
I looked up to see his smiling face, but the sunlight was shining directly down on me. I squinted subconsciously, so he put his hand over my head to block the glaring sunlight for me.
Time seems to have stopped at this moment, with only the chirping of summer cicadas in the distance, each one clear and distant.
How nice it would be if time could stop at this moment forever, but soon someone called his name from afar: "Yubai, Chu Yubai, are you done? Hurry up, let's walk around the campus again and reminisce about the past, then we'll go to have a farewell dinner."
In the shade of a tree in the distance, stood a group of his classmates.
"I'm coming." Chu Yubai didn't look back. He stepped back and waved at me, saying, "Well, Jasmine, don't forget, we'll see you on August 10th."
"Okay." I nodded and watched his back slowly go away, until he was surrounded by a group of girls and walked away, and I could no longer see him. My heart felt more lost than ever before, as if something very important had also gone with Chu Yubai.
"Hey, Jasmine." Song Xiaoyan came to my side at some point and imitated me, looking in the direction where Chu Yubai disappeared. "Are you envious of those girls?"
I didn't answer, but just murmured to her: "Xiao Yan, if there is a person who you think of when you are happy and the first person you think of when you are sad, then what kind of existence would this person be to you? Is he just an object of admiration?"
Xiaoyan didn't answer me, but I already had a very clear and distinct answer in my heart. Some kind of feelings that I subconsciously ignored and hidden in my heart finally sprouted quietly when we were about to leave, like seeds in a flower bed after rain.
Yes, I like Chu Yubai, so my persistence and hard work are not just as simple as admiration and following.
This realization makes me feel happy and sad. Su Moli liked Chu Yubai when he didn't know yet and when they were about to part.
Hey, Chu Yubai, please wait for me. One day in the near future, I will come to you and tell you how much I love you!
You will definitely wait for me, right?
Chu Yubai!