When Guan Yue came to see me, I was working hard in the studio to complete the painting "Return of Spring".
After the deep winter, the earth came back to life, and everything revived. A girl in ballet shoes danced in the forest in the morning light. After I put the final color on the girl's gauze skirt, Guan Yue pushed the door open with a series of tinkling sounds like a mad dog out of a cage.
"Su Jingan! You promised to go shopping with me this week!"
The young lady angrily threw the bag worth nearly ten thousand dollars on the table beside her without a care, grabbed my shoulders and started shaking them.
"Stop! Let me put the paint down first! Otherwise I'll get your clothes dirty!"
"Ouch!" She let go of me and started circling my drawing board. I put down the paint and started cleaning up.
She pointed at the painting that was not yet completely dry and asked, "Qiono told you to paint, so you really painted it?"
The hand that was tying the ponytail suddenly stopped in mid-air. For a moment, I was so embarrassed that I didn't know what to do. Guan rolled her eyes at me, then pulled the hair tie in my hand, walked behind me, and neatly tied the braid for me.
I was a little touched by her familiar behavior, and it suddenly occurred to me that this year was exactly the eighth year that I had known her. This little girl, who had just turned eighteen, seemed to be the first person in my life who could be called an old friend.
I turned around, facing the early morning sunlight, and looked at her with a smile.
She likes to put on very delicate makeup and bright lipstick, and she dresses herself up to look energetic every time she goes out. Her life is perfect like a beautiful flower in the world. Compared with her, I always go out with a plain face, don't like to dress up, and often have a cold face, as if I come from the opposite world of hers.
In this school, many people would ask us a question, why can you two be so close when you seem to be from two different worlds? After hearing this, Guan Yue would often roll her eyes to the sky, while I would just smile indifferently.
They don’t know that Guan Yue and I were once from the same world.
I used to be just like her, coming from a wealthy family and living the life of a rich kid. I also liked expensive, luxurious but durable things, and I also liked to laugh unbridled and squander the seemingly meaningless years.
However, all this stopped when I was fifteen years old...
"Hey, hey, hey, don't look at me like that, I'll think you're going to kiss me!" Guan Yue snapped her fingers in front of my eyes and forcibly pulled me out of the vortex of memories.
She took out a tissue from her bag and put it over my eyes fiercely, muttering like an old woman: "I told you, don't like Qiao Nuo, don't like Qiao Nuo! You didn't listen and kept chasing after him. You even repainted for him and painted all night. Aren't you afraid that your old heart problem will come back? I really admire you!"
I covered my hot and swollen eyes, and something warm and wet slowly spread to my palms through the tissue.
"Although Qiao Nuo is my cousin, he is an ungrateful person when it comes to relationships! I don't want to see him drag you down like this, so don't make trouble for yourself. It's useless for you to draw, because he won't come to see you today as agreed!"
I crumpled the wet tissue into a ball and threw it heavily into the trash can. I took a deep breath and forced a smile at her that was uglier than crying.
Guan Yue didn’t know that I was crying not because of Qiao Nuo.
I don't like Qiao Nuo. Even when I confessed my love to him, I didn't like him at all. And this secret is like dust piled up in a dark corner, unable to see the light.
Even though I clearly didn't like him, I had to pretend to be deeply in love with him - just because of a casual word from that boy, I had to pick up the paintbrush that I had not wanted to touch for years and paint for him all night long.
In fact, I was tired and sleepy. I just wanted to go home, wash my face and have a good sleep. I didn’t want to see him at all.
But even though I was so exhausted, I would not allow myself to be willful. I would not allow myself to face any possibility of returning to my previous miserable life.
Guan Yue had no idea of ​​all these thoughts in my mind. I didn't dare tell her that I got close to Qiao Nuo just to help my so-called father get married; I didn't dare tell her that my current life of luxury was only because I was close to Qiao Nuo; I didn't dare tell her that on that snowy night when I was fifteen, the innocent and kind little girl in her heart had been crushed beyond recognition by the gears of life and had completely turned into someone else.
After all, Guan Yue didn't have the heart to let me, a dusty-looking person, accompany her to visit various luxury goods counters. Instead, she dragged me to the most famous tea restaurant in the mall for breakfast tea.
Eating morning tea is a habit she and I have had since childhood - of course, I gave up this habit after I was fifteen, but I still have an appetite for these things. When Guan Yue put the third pineapple bun on my plate, her brother's "death call" finally rang.
Guan Yue and I looked at each other helplessly.
Guan Yue's brother is called Guan Xia, with thick eyebrows, big eyes, and three-dimensional facial features. He looks a bit like those mixed-race male models in magazines. Logically, I should have a good impression of this type, but unfortunately, since I met him, he and I have not gotten along with each other, until we grew up.
When our relationship was at its most tense, this "sister-con" once pointed at my nose in front of Guan Yue and said that I was a big trouble and a girl who would do anything to make a living.
At that time, my life had just undergone a huge change. I hadn't even finished swallowing the meal Guan Yue prepared for me. I was in a mess, my self-esteem was shattered, and I had nowhere to hide. That nobleman who had always lived a life of luxury and respect, cold-bloodedly and ruthlessly, wiped out my last dignity in front of Guan Yue one sentence at a time.
At that time, I didn't cry, but just swallowed the food in my mouth stubbornly.
Guan Yue went berserk on the spot, pointing at Guan Xia and cursing.
Since then, Guan Xia and I have almost never had a direct confrontation, until Qiao Nuo appeared in my world. My confession to Qiao Nuo pushed the tense relationship between Guan Xia and me to the forefront again. Qiao Nuo is Guan Yue and Guan Xia's cousin, and I knew this when I was very young. But I never thought that my life after the age of 18 would be related to this name that has appeared in my life for a long time.
"I don't know what's wrong with Qiao Nuo. He bought a plane ticket to come back today. Please go pick him up for me. I can't leave."
Guan Xia didn't know I was next to her, and Guan Yue turned on the speaker of the phone with ulterior motives.
"Oh, okay, wait for me to pick him up." Guan Yue winked at me, and I put the last bite of pineapple bun into my mouth with an innocent look on my face.
"Okay, but don't tell Su Jing'an!" As soon as Guan Xia finished speaking, Guan Yue and I rolled our eyes. As soon as the phone was hung up, Guan Yue began to scold Guan Xia.
I just smiled and said nothing. After all, it was very hard for Guan Yue to be in such a tense relationship between me and her brother.
Until she raised her eyebrows and said, "Did you hear that? Qiao Nuo is back."
My face froze, and this subtle change was quickly caught by her.
"Alas, it seems that the two of you are really destined to be together!" She shook her head, with a pretentious look on her face.
I glanced at the wrapped painting of "The Return of Spring" placed casually on the table, and a complicated feeling welled up in my mind.
I said I didn't want to see him, but my reason told me that I must do my best to see him.
At this moment, Guan Yue's phone suddenly rang. What neither of us expected was that the person who called was Qiao Nuo. The first thing Qiao Nuo said to Guan Yue was -
"Is Su Jingan next to you? Let her answer the phone."
His unquestionable attitude and commanding tone make people feel uneasy but inexplicably willing to obey. This is Qiao Nuo's unique temperament.
At this time, Guan Yue was drinking porridge and was so scared that she almost vomited it out.
It wasn't until she forced the phone into my hand that I realized what was going on. This popular lover who had never been touched by a single leaf, this person who could make me pick up the brush again with just a few words, was actually looking for me.
I cleared my throat, trying not to sound too surprised.
"Su Jingan, is the painting finished?"
His voice was half-smiley.
I really hate it when he talks to me in that tone.
"how do you know?"
I regretted asking this question, after all, I posted a picture of "Spring Returns" on Weibo when there was only 30% left - although it was Guan Yue who did it
Jono didn't answer, but just chuckled: "I'm looking forward to seeing it."
The hand holding the phone was oozing with sweat. I felt a little panicked for some reason and winked at Guan Yue.
This guy who had been my nephew since childhood gave me a disdainful look, snatched the phone and started to report our coordinates.
Looking at the porridge in the bowl, I suddenly lost my appetite.
After a while, Guan Yue hung up the phone, stretched out her hand and happily pinched my face, shouting: "Hey, Su Jingan, it seems that there is a sudden turn of events!"
On many, many late nights, I often have the same dream over and over again.
In the dream, my grandmother had not passed away yet. It was a hot summer day with the sound of cicadas and the wind like a heat wave. She cooked a big pot of fish soup and happily put it in my bowl, urging me to drink it over and over again. But fish soup is what I hate most in my life.
Every time when I was about to drink the soup, I would wake up from the dream, and when I opened my eyes in the bright night, my whole body was wet with sweat.
Guan Yue, who was lying next to , finally held my face in her hands and asked me solemnly when I woke up for the fifth time: "Su Jing'an, what terrible dream did you have?"
Under the hazy moonlight, I told her in a daze that I dreamed of drinking the fish soup that I hated the most.
She snorted, then pulled up the quilt, covered her head and fell asleep.
And I couldn't fall asleep again because my mind was once again thinking about my painting "The Return of Spring" and how I should perform so that Jono would pay more attention to me.
Qiao Nuo is my fish soup, the fish soup that I hate the most, but I have to drink it in order to survive.
This bowl of fish soup that I hate so much is the supreme delicacy in the eyes of others. I have to fight very hard to get a chance to taste it.
When Guan Yue quickly paid the bill and hurriedly dragged me back to school, I finally understood what she meant by the unexpected turn of events.
It turned out that Qiao Nuo changed his flight and returned to school early.
In the taxi, she scolded me for being unkempt and not even wearing lipstick when going out, while she took out her cosmetics and put on makeup for me with extremely skilled techniques.
She said, do you know how many crazy girls are waiting for Qiao Nuo to come back just to see him, and he just told me on the phone that he would have lunch with me when we come back.
Su Jingan, you won the jackpot!
In his entire life, Qiao Nuo has never thought about taking the initiative to have lunch with any girl!
I stared blankly at Guan Yue, who was wide-eyed and in awe. What came to my mind was, is Qiao Nuo an emperor? How could he be so generous even when having dinner with a girl?
However, I naturally didn't dare say this to her. I just pretended to be flattered and tried my best to act like a girl who was immersed in unrequited love.
When the car arrived at the school gate, my light makeup was almost finished. Guan Yue grabbed my sleeve and pulled me forward hurriedly, but I bumped into a girl head-on.
Guan Yue was wearing a pair of limited edition Valentino high heels at this time. She lost her balance and bumped into me, causing me to shudder. Her temper immediately flared up, and she raised her head and yelled at the girl, "You are blind—"
Before I could finish the rest of the sentence, Guan Yue was stunned. She coughed lightly with a hint of embarrassment, strode back behind me, and muttered, "You come and deal with that troublemaker in your family."
Without thinking, I turned around and pulled her away, but before I could say anything, she immediately rushed towards me, crying and shouting, "Sister."
My heart sank and I turned around, and Ai Qing rudely barged into my sight.
Less than 1.6 meters tall, with heavy makeup on her face that didn't match her age, she grabbed me like a life-saving straw, pointing at the two rich girls behind her, and shouting at the top of her lungs, "Sister, sister, they're going to beat me up, help me call the police, call the police!"
That's right, the bad girl in front of me who looked like a wild person was the troublemaker in my family as Guan Yue said. Before I could react, the two girls who looked like bad guys came towards me with their hair tossed.
"Are you Su Jingan? Qiao Nuo's girlfriend?" One of the girls with bright red lips sneered at me.
"Ah, Su Jing'an? The girl who was so bold that she used the radio to call Qiao Nuo over to confess her love?" Another raised an eyebrow provocatively, "Why, she really caught up with her!"
I was a little confused by the two of them singing the same tune. Before I could explain, Ai Qing bared her teeth and said, "Yes, the two of them just got together two days ago. Why?"
"I'm telling you," she said, pointing her finger at the two of them, "if you dare to touch a hair on my head today, my brother-in-law won't let you off!"
As if attracted by Ai Qing's chattering, more and more people gathered around to watch the fun. Guan Yue became angry and raised his hand to pull Ai Qing away from me.
Maybe it was because Guan Yue had the aura of a queen, or maybe it was because Guan Yue’s reputation in this university was too strong. In short, the two girls were a little shocked.
"You have to solve the problem yourself. We don't have time to mess around with you." Guan Yue glanced at her and pulled me to leave. But she underestimated Ai Qing's ability to make a dog-skin plaster. Ai Qing grabbed my other arm fiercely and refused to let go.
"What on earth has she gotten herself into?" I finally asked.
"Your sister stole my best friend's boyfriend." The red-lipped girl said straightforwardly, "My best friend was upset and made some noise. She's now lying in the hospital."
"Like this." I turned my head and looked at Ai Qing. Her eyes flickered and she didn't dare to look me in the eye. This is indeed what someone like her would do. I'm not surprised at all.
"Then you can do whatever you want." I shrugged and pulled my arm out .
"Su Jing'an! Do you have any humanity?" Ai Qing, who lost her temper, revealed her true nature in a second. She tried to pull me again, but I pushed her away with disgust and rudeness. The two girls were not in a hurry, and looked like they were watching a good show.
"I said, let's do what we have to do. It's not too much to be beaten to a broken arm or a missing leg for stealing someone else's boyfriend. She deserves it."
I looked at Ai Qing indifferently, without a trace of emotion in my tone.
"Su Jing'an, you and I are a family after all—" Ai Qing was so anxious that she jumped up and down, trying to use that set of moral constraints to kidnap me, but I am no longer the 15-year-old Su Jing'an. She doesn't know that kindness and softness are no longer in my life dictionary.
"I don't have a family as shameless as you."
As soon as the words fell, there was a series of small snickers around, and someone even whispered "You deserve it." Guan Yue looked at me with great admiration, while Ai Qing was tortured by countless contemptuous eyes, and she was extremely ashamed and angry, with a fierce look in her eyes.
This is the real her, a wolf who likes to dress up as sheep and stir up trouble.
No one knows that the daughter of my mother's live-in boyfriend was once an indelible shadow in a certain period of my life.
No one knows how much suffering I went through before I came out of that dark period. So now, I will not give in to her in the slightest.
"Did you hear that? No one is protecting you."
The two girls stepped forward and tried to pull Ai Qing away, but Ai Qing was not someone who would give in to pressure. She pushed them away fiercely and quickly pulled out a switchblade from her fake designer bag.
She had carried that knife with her since she was fourteen, but she had never once dared to actually do anything with it.
"Come over here and try again! The worst that can happen is that we'll all die together!" Her face flushed, and she held on. When she saw that the two girls didn't move, she pointed the knife at me.
"Su Jing'an, don't pretend to be so noble. If you have the guts, don't fawn behind Qiao Nuo! Aren't you afraid of someone like me who has the means to trap men? Do you dare to say what you said to me in front of your stepmother? I hope your father will beat you to death, you are a piece of shit that your father and mother don't love! You dare to show off in front of me ! You have the guts to curry favor with Qiao Nuo and become a phoenix again, but do you think you can trample on me at will?"
She kept chattering like a mad dog that could bite people at any time, and her vulgar air was nowhere to be hidden.
If there was no one around, I would roll up my sleeves and have a fierce fight with her, just like I did that night three years ago. But I know I can't do that now. Many times, my tolerance makes me afraid.
I don’t know what kind of spiritual support can make me what I am now, but I know that if I can keep calm, it will be easier to accomplish great things.
For example, the countless pairs of eyes staring at you at this moment.
For example, not far away, Qiao Nuo's car was driving slowly towards them.
Everyone's attention was attracted by Ai Qing, the clown, and only I accidentally caught a glimpse of the figure getting out of the car.
I blinked hard, making myself look aggrieved and pitiful, and even my voice trembled. At this moment, I was suddenly glad that I had a harmless face.
"Ai Qing, there's no need to rub salt into my wounds with family matters. Qiao Nuo and I are not in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I've only always liked him. Please stop talking nonsense and causing unnecessary burdens to others!"
The moment I finished speaking, a broad arm gently supported my trembling shoulders, and a faint scent of perfume filled my nostrils.
It is the base note of Kenzo Wind of Love, a scent I picked myself.
This perfume is not of his level. It was the first gift I asked Guan Yue to give him on his birthday. The clean and refreshing scent, the first time I smelled it, my mind flashed back to my first meeting with Qiao Nuo.
It was late spring and early summer, and the sun was shining brightly. He was wearing a white shirt, leaning against the bookshelf in the library, reading a foreign classic with a focused look.
If I were to describe him in one sentence, it would probably be a gentle and elegant young man who usually doesn't talk much and stands quietly in one place, but he always manages to attract countless people's attention.
But later, when I got to know him better, I found out that he was not a blank slate boy, but just a good-looking boy who was mature beyond his years and whose thoughts were always hard to guess.
Jono walked straight up to me and put his arm around my shoulders in a manner that seemed very familiar to me.
I froze for a moment.
He was the most eye-catching person in the whole school. His appearance immediately caused a lot of girls to exclaim, and some even secretly took out their mobile phones to take pictures.
Even so, Qiao Nuo remained calm. He looked straight at Ai Qing, and all the tenderness in his eyes disappeared. Perhaps it was because of the overwhelming momentum that Ai Qing subconsciously put down her hand. Qiao Nuo's hand on my shoulder never dropped.
This moment gave me an illusion that he was a tree standing in front of me, willing to shelter me from the wind and rain and unmoving. However, before I realized how terrible this illusion was for me, he spoke.
"You can be shameless, but don't drag Su Jingan into this."
"otherwise--"
“You will suffer the consequences.”