My name is Lu Nanxi. I have lived for eighteen years. Looking back, it seems that the only thing I should be proud of is that I was admitted to this foreign language university located in the capital of magnolia.
When choosing a major, I hesitated for a while. I was originally very interested in German, but after knowing that Song Yan chose English translation, I did not hesitate any more and decisively chose the same major as him.
You ask me who Song Yan is?
He is the wind on the mountain mist, the raindrops on the cherry blossoms in May, the rainbow after a thunderstorm in midsummer, the red maples all over the mountains in late autumn, and the white snow after the ice and snow.
All the beautiful words I can think of can be used to describe him, but at the same time, the beauty that belongs to him is something I can never grasp within my own .
I like him, to be exact, I have a crush on him.
I was the only one in the world who knew this secret. I kept it in my heart carefully and humbly, and didn't tell anyone, not even my best friend Su Weiwei.
So, what do I like about him?
Maybe it was because he smiled like his eyes were shining with sunshine, with so many stars hidden in them. Or maybe it was because of his heroic figure holding a basketball and sweating profusely while doing a three-step layup among a bunch of boys. Or maybe it was...
In short, I couldn't tell the difference, and more details were impossible to find out. By the time I realized it, my eyes had already subconsciously captured his figure.
I habitually stood the book up and secretly observed his every move. Occasionally, when he turned his head inadvertently and his eyes met mine, my heartbeat would uncontrollably speed up, and I would feel a little nervous and secretly happy in my heart.
At such moments, buried under the books is the sound of my heart beating like a drum: "Boom! Boom! Boom!"
So warm and exciting!
For a moment, I even wanted to tell Song Yan desperately what kind of mood I was in when I was observing him.
But it was just a momentary impulse that couldn't even last a second, and in the end I didn't dare say anything.
Yes, I'm just a coward, afraid that once I say something, everything will fall apart.
At least now I can pretend to look at the scenery outside the classroom and secretly look at him in the scenery.
I still remember the day when I received the university admission letter. I ran to the rooftop happily by myself and shouted loudly towards the clear blue sky.
I think all the good luck in my life ran out at this moment.
On the day of freshman registration, I stood under the huge shade of the camphor tree and finally waited for Song Yan. He dragged a big suitcase and walked on the campus path in high spirits, as if he had endless energy.
I stood in the corner and watched him go to the registration office to register, get his dorm key, and get his student ID. I thought he would rush to find his dorm after completing all these. But, I didn't expect that he would look around and finally stop at my direction, and then he walked towards me with his suitcase.
At that moment, my mind went blank. Did he see me? Was he here to talk to me? What should I say to him?
Or, could it be that he didn't even know me, even though I was in the same class with him for three years of high school but I never spoke a word to him?
Just as I was daydreaming, Song Yan had already walked in front of me.
In the sunlight, he grinned at me, showing his teeth, so handsome that it couldn't be better.
Then he waved his hand and said to me, "Hey! Do you mind if I stand here? I'm waiting for someone and will be leaving soon."
I couldn't tell whether I felt relieved or disappointed. I lowered my head and looked at my toes, shook my head gently, and whispered, "I don't mind. "
He really didn't know me. For someone as full of energy as Song Yan, what he saw would definitely not be an invisible person like me who was so transparent that it couldn't be more transparent.
"Haha, you haven't changed even after entering college." Suddenly, the boy next to him laughed and said with emotion, "Lu Nanxi, I'm Song Yan, your classmate for three years in high school. You don't know me, do you?"
I looked up in surprise and ran straight into his sparkling eyes. He reached out and scratched his hair, with a familiar smile on his handsome face.
He said, "Summer vacation isn't that long, so you don't remember me? But it's such a coincidence that I run into you here. I didn't expect that besides Chen Xingyu, you were the only one I knew who was admitted to this university."
He talked on and on, not minding at all that I stood there like a wooden man.
I felt very complicated. I thought he didn't remember me or even knew me, but I didn't expect that he not only knew me, but also remembered my name. Moreover, in an unfamiliar university campus, he recognized me at first sight and even seemed to be in a good mood and played a little joke on me.
A feeling of joy welled up in my heart, but this joy made me want to cry.
"Oh, by the way, what's your cell phone number? I'll save it. If you have any problems in the future, just contact me directly. It's a great fate to meet a high school classmate in college!" While Song Yan was speaking, he had already taken out his cell phone from his pocket.
He looked at me for a moment and found the phone hanging around my neck. He didn't seem to have time to think, and he grabbed the phone from my chest, swiped his slender fingers across the screen, pressed a string of numbers, and then his phone rang.
His cell phone ringtone is very nice, it’s an English song, “Love Story” by Taylor Swift.
He quickly saved his name and number into my phone, then gently placed the phone back on my chest.
The phone was gently resting against my chest, but this tiny force seemed to make it hard for me to breathe.
The things that happened from the moment he walked under the camphor tree to now were things I had never dared to think about before. My brain seemed to have short-circuited instantly , and my mind was blank, and I couldn't even think normally.
"Okay." He put his phone back in his pocket with satisfaction.
At this moment, someone shouted loudly: "Song Yan!"
The word "Song Yan" completely awakened my confused thoughts, and I hurriedly replied: "Oh, no, I didn't forget you, I just..."
"Hmm?" He seemed a little surprised, as if he had discovered a new world. "So this is what your voice sounds like. It's quite nice. With such a nice voice, why don't you like to talk more? Talking more is good for your physical and mental health."
Um, is he praising me?
I swallowed back what I was about to say. After he said that, I had no idea how to respond.
Fortunately, at this time, Chen Xingyu, whom Song Yan had been waiting for, finally arrived. He trotted over, put his hand on Song Yan's shoulder, and said with a smile: "You are here! I have signed up, let's go."
"Okay. By the way, let me introduce you." Song Yan pulled Chen Xingyu and pointed at me and said, "This is my classmate Lu Nanxi. This is Chen Xingyu, also from our high school."
"Hello." As long as I'm not facing Song Yan, I can still handle the basic getting along with others.
Chen Xingyu glanced at me and nodded at me: "Hello, classmate Lu. Okay, let's go put the luggage away first."
After saying that, Chen Xingyu took Song Yan and walked away from the shade of the tree. I stood there for a long time before taking a deep breath. When the fresh air filled my chest, I felt that I was back in this world.
I stood there holding the phone, my fingertips seemed to feel the warmth he left, and this warmth made the corners of my mouth rise slightly.
I calmed myself down. I had originally been standing here just to take a sneak peek at him, but I had gained so much unexpectedly.
I think everything that happened today is enough for me to take it out and savor it carefully when I miss him and it hurts.
It was not until the two of them had completely disappeared that I dragged my suitcase and found the girls' dormitory.
After entering the dormitory with the assigned key, I found that this was a four-person room with a separate bathroom and a dressing table. The bed was the kind with a desk and wardrobe underneath and a bed on top, which was quite convenient.
The bed number three that I was assigned to was in the corner near the bathroom, which made me sigh that this corner was perfect for someone like me who is invisible everywhere.
"Hey, why do you put this here? You might fall if you're not careful!" A slightly sharp female voice came from the door.
I looked down and saw a girl with a high ponytail standing at the door of the dormitory. There was a big bag there. The girl with the high ponytail frowned and looked unhappy. Her eyes swept across my face and finally stopped at the face of the girl on the bed opposite me.
She was a very pretty girl, with fair skin, bright eyes and a pair of twinkling eyes. Her hair was very long, curled in the popular style, and dyed a little.
"That bag is not mine!" The girl in the opposite shop said with a smile. When she glanced at the bag, there was a hint of disgust in her eyes, "Whose is it?"
The bag was a simple luggage bag that can be found everywhere on the street stalls. After the girl finished speaking, she looked at me. I was stunned and wanted to say that it was not mine either, but the words on the tip of my tongue could not be said. I just lowered my head and avoided the girl's gaze.
"Oh, sorry, it's mine." At this time, the bathroom door opened, and a girl with bangs covering her eyes walked out. She quickly moved the bag to the side, then raised her head and smiled at the girl with a high ponytail, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to block the door."
"It's okay." The girl with a high ponytail walked in dragging a suitcase without even looking at the other girl.
I turned my head and looked over there, only to see that girl wearing big black-framed glasses and had very long bangs. When she lowered her head, her bangs covered most of her face.
Just by looking at her, I knew that this girl was similar to me. She only came out for a moment and then went back to the bathroom.
We are all cowards and invisible people.
"My name is Wang Sisi. What's your name?" The girl with a high ponytail stood under my bed, raised her head and asked me.
When I saw her speak, I was stunned. I thought she was ignoring me. I didn't expect her to ask my name first.
I quickly replied: "My name is Lu Nanxi."
"It's a nice name." Wang Sisi said, turning her head to look at the fair-skinned girl, "What about you? What's your name?"
"Guo Jiani." The fair-skinned girl answered in a gentle voice and continued to sit there playing with her tablet.
There were only girls left in the bathroom, and Wang Sisi did not ask any questions.
"From now on, you will be living in the same dormitory, so let's get along well." Wang Sisi said, squatting down and starting to pack her things.
At this time, the girl in the bathroom finally came out. I didn't know what she was doing in there for such a long time. She came in with a heavy bag, and I realized that her bed was next to the fair-skinned girl Guo Jiani's, and the bed next to mine was Wang Sisi's bed.
Wang Sisi sorted out her things for a while, then took out the meal card she had just received and asked us , "It's time for lunch. Why don't we go eat together? We've been busy for so long and I'm so hungry!"
I was already hungry and had been planning to go out for dinner, but I didn't have the courage to go with my roommate whom I had just met.
Just when I was hesitating whether to agree or not, Guo Jiani, who was standing opposite me, had already put down her computer, stood up, and said with a smile, "Okay, let's go together."
Wang Sisi nodded and looked at me again, her eyes seemed to be waiting for my answer.
I hesitated for a moment, but finally answered "OK".
It seems not so good to reject my roommate's kind invitation on the first day of school, although I think a girl like Wang Sisi would not want to be friends with me.
But what I find strange is that Wang Sisi asked me and Guo Jiani, but the girl with long bangs seemed to be completely ignored by her. I hesitated whether to ask her to join us, after all, there were only four of us in the dormitory.
But at this time, Wang Sisi had already walked to the dormitory door. She looked back at me and urged me, "Hurry up, it's getting late. I heard that if you go to the cafeteria late, there will be nothing to eat."
After she called me like that, I swallowed my hesitation. I was never good at getting along with others, which is why I only had Su Weiwei as my only friend from kindergarten to high school graduation.
Unfortunately, Su Weiwei and I did not get into the same school. This meant that I was alone and friendless in this city full of magnolias.
I took a last look at the girl. She was still squatting on the ground packing her things with her back to us, so I couldn't see her expression.
I closed the door and felt a little depressed. This feeling was really bad, especially when I saw a girl who looked so much like me left there alone.
On the way to the cafeteria, Wang Sisi kept talking to us. I barely said anything, but Guo Jiani seemed to get along well with Wang Sisi.
Probably because it was past the peak meal time, there weren't many people in the cafeteria at this time, but as I mentioned before, there were also fewer dishes. I ordered two dishes at random, took my plate and found an empty seat to sit down.
Wang Sisi sat next to me, and Guo Jiani sat opposite Wang Sisi.
I had only been eating for a short while when my cell phone rang. When I looked at the caller ID, I almost dropped the phone on the ground.
The person who called turned out to be Song Yan.
I was shocked and my heart was pounding. Why did he call me? Did he accidentally press the wrong number? He must have put his phone in his pocket and pressed the wrong number.
Or maybe it was some other reason, anyway, he must have pressed the call button accidentally.
For a moment, I thought of many reasons, but none of them showed that he called me because he wanted to.
It must have been a mistake.
I held the phone tightly, unknowingly using almost all my strength.
The phone continued to ring. I wanted to answer it, but I was afraid to answer it, afraid to hear him say, "Oh, sorry, I think I called the wrong number."
But I was also a little bit expectant. I was expecting that even if I dialed the wrong number, I would still be able to hear his voice by putting my ear close to his.
But before I could finish thinking about it, the ringing stopped.
Wang Sisi looked at me with strange eyes and asked in confusion: "Why don't you answer the phone? Is it a harassing call? Is it from someone who has a crush on you but you hate him?"
My heart trembled suddenly. The person I secretly love is hated by me?
The first time I realized this possibility, it was like being drenched by a bucket of ice water. I originally thought that I could hide in the dark and watch Song Yan for many years, but I never thought that maybe my special feelings would make him feel disgusted.
"No, no." I whispered, looking at the phone in my hand. At this moment, the phone rang again.
The person who called was Song Yan again.
I was overjoyed. He called for the second time. Did that mean that he didn't dial the wrong number by accident? He didn't dial my number by accident, but really wanted to call me?
I hurriedly picked up the phone and put the receiver close to my ear. Song Yan's bright voice was close at hand: "Lu Nanxi, where are you?"