Chapter 1: Dead Man's Watch
That winter was very cold, 34 degrees below zero, and the ground was frozen open. I was taken to the crematorium. I was terrified. Perhaps it was the cold, coupled with the fear, but I shivered uncontrollably.
My father left me behind and I followed Master Yunzheng into his office.
He didn't say anything, but poured me a cup of hot water. After I drank it, my body felt much warmer and the shivering slowly stopped.
"You're scared, aren't you?"
I nodded. I was only 18. I didn't understand anything.
"You can go home now. You have to be there at 7 o'clock tomorrow morning and leave at 12 noon. Got it ?"
Master Yunzheng said gently. I just nodded, stood up and left. After leaving the crematorium, I ran all the way. The road to the crematorium was one kilometer long, and I finished it in just a few minutes.
When I got home, my father was stunned for a moment, then scolded me, thinking I had quit. I told him what had happened, and he nodded. I could see that he was heartbroken.
In the evening, he cooked meat for me, which I could only eat during the Chinese New Year. He was a man of few words, not very good at talking, and not very fond of talking. His love was expressed in actions.
"Go to bed early and don't be late for work tomorrow morning. I won't send you off tomorrow."
That night, I had nightmares so much that even my pillow was wet.
As far as I can remember, my father was the only one who raised me. I didn't know where my mother went. He never told me and I never asked. I was a dull child. Others even said I was a little stupid, which made my father very sad. Otherwise, I was very smart, but I just didn't get into college.
The person who sent me to the crematorium was a classmate of my father, who was the director of a museum. My father was a college student, and college students were very capable at that time. But my father's job was to write materials for the city's cultural department. He thought about it for two months about sending me to the crematorium. I found out about this later. Looking back, I remember how many times I got up at night and he would sit on the sofa and smoke. He was a heavy smoker. It was after he thought about it for two months that he sent me to the crematorium to be the one who burned people.
I knew my father's pain, and I persisted.
The next day, my steps were so heavy, as if a big stone was tied to them. The master came up on his bike behind me and scared me.
"Second class."
I just jumped on it.
"You're like a rammer."
My master seemed so cute to me at that moment that I actually relaxed along the way.
When I entered the office, which was the master's only room, he threw a set of work clothes to me.
"One set a month, no need to wash, this is a benefit."
I put it on and stood looking at the master.
"Take it off and go home."
I was stunned and went home again. What does that mean?
"master."
"go home."
I went home and took this road again. I was not so scared anymore. I didn't run, but I walked fast.
It was cold, but I was sweating all over. The cotton-padded jacket my father made for me was very warm. It was the first time I felt such warmth, and I had never felt such warmth before. At this moment, I knew how great my father was.
After that snow, the weather got even colder. I had never seen such a cold day. I really had to hold a stick when I peed.
This is the third day of work. I went to work early and cleaned the office. My father told me to do this. I changed into work clothes and made tea for the master. The tea was given to me by my father.
The master came in, but he was not happy about the tea I made and the cleaning of the house. Instead, he had a gloomy face. I was a little panicked and didn't know what I did wrong.
"Remember, the floor in this office cannot be swept. You can go home now."
"master……"
The master glared at me. I didn't dare say anything else, changed my clothes and went home.
I just can't figure it out. Why can't we sweep the floor? Is there some reason for this?
My heart, which had been somewhat relaxed at this moment, was now in a knot again, making me feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable.
It was the fourth day. Because the master said I couldn't sweep the floor, I was nervous and went there early. I didn't know what to do, so I wiped the table and made tea. When the master came in, he was in a much better mood and sat down to drink tea.
"Come with me into the refining room in a moment."
I suddenly became nervous and felt the urge to pee.
"Master, I want to pee."
The master raised his head, and I ran out and went into the toilet, but I couldn't pee. I felt so bad for a long time, but I was afraid that the master would be anxious, so I ran back.
The master stood up and I followed him. I clenched my fists tightly, as I would when I was nervous. I gritted my teeth and made a sound, as I would when I was extremely nervous.
The master stopped and I almost bumped into him. He turned around.
"You're too nervous."
After the master finished speaking, he slowed down his pace, and I actually relaxed. The master was very tired.
After passing through one door and then another, I saw a large iron stove.
"There's nothing to be afraid of. See for yourself."
I looked and saw a big iron stove in a house. It was very tall and big. Because of its height, I was still scared.
"Okay, you're off duty."
I thought I would follow my master to burn people today, but no, my master let me go home.
When I heard the master telling me to go home, I ran away. I didn't want to stay here for another minute. I was really scared.
That night, I had nightmares. In the morning, my father called me. I was not in the mood and only drank a bowl of porridge. My father shook his head and said nothing.
The father is a writer who writes novels, poems, and essays, but his son actually...
He always blamed himself, saying it was because of him that I ended up like this. Originally, I could have been better than him, but I dropped out after junior high. He hung me up and beat me, even holding a kitchen knife to my neck, cutting until it bled, but I still didn't go.
I don't know when my mother left me or what she looked like, but I only know one thing: she ran away with a man and never came back. The next thing I knew was from my neighbors that she went to Nanjing.
Other than that, I don’t know anything.
Today, the weather is dry and cold. I walk to the crematorium, and it seems I am getting used to it. I arrive early, don't sweep the floor, wipe the table, and make tea for the master.
The master came in to drink tea, and after one cup, he told me.
"Go to the refining room and get my watch. I forgot it there yesterday."
Should I go alone? I didn't dare say it. As soon as I left the office, I started to get scared. When I got there, I started to tremble.
As soon as I entered the first door, I broke out in a cold sweat. It was winter with temperatures dropping below 30 degrees Celsius, so it was hard to sweat, but I sweated anyway.
When I entered the second door, I felt like I couldn't keep up my pace, but I still went in. The watch was really there. I took it, turned around and ran. I don't know how fast I ran.
When I entered the office, I was breathing heavily, but I was controlling it. When I saw the master, I felt safe.
I gently put the watch down. In that era, having a watch and a bicycle was as cool as having an A8 at home.
"Do you know who this watch belongs to?"
The master was teasing me and I shook my head dumbly.
"Dead men belong to dead men."
I shivered. The master opened the drawer and asked me to come over. I saw that there was everything in the drawer, many watches, gold rings, gold earrings... The drawer was almost full.
"You can choose one, I'll give you a welcome gift."
"I don't want it."
"Is disdain something that belongs to the dead?"
I guessed it, but didn't want to realize it. When the master pointed it out, I shook my head and said, "I don't want that thing."
"Don't be shameless, okay?"
I was so stupid at that time that I took a watch for some unknown reason.
"Put it on."
So I put it on.
"You're off duty."
I always leave work as soon as I get off work. When I get home, my father sees my watch and smiles with joy.
"Son, even though this place isn't great, you now have a watch to wear. This watch must be worth fifty or sixty dollars."
In that era, if you got a watch, changing your wife was not a problem. This is what made my father feel balanced.
I feel comforted by this matter, and it seems that the fear has been reduced a lot. This proves that people are material.
I went to the crematorium again, and the master looked at me and asked me.
"Still nervous?"
I shook my head. The master said.
"In here, speak lively, don't move, and speak loudly."
I don't know why, I didn't dare to ask. The good master seemed to dislike me asking questions without thinking. I didn't know what the taboos were, just like the floor in the office cannot be swept.
So, there aren't many "whys" . I've been at the crematorium for almost a week now, and I haven't seen anyone being burned. This is making me increasingly uneasy. It seems the place is unsafe, or perhaps there are many taboos, which is why the master hasn't let me in to burn people.
I know that burning people definitely requires great courage.
Master Yunzheng has a very high status in the crematorium. Everyone is very polite to him, even the director. I don’t know why, but I have never seen the master get so close to them. Instead, he has a stern face every day. Few people see him smile. The fact that the master can smile at me shows that he is satisfied with me as his apprentice.
In the blink of an eye, another week passed and my master invited me to lunch. Of course, I wouldn't let him spend any money, even though I hadn't received my salary that month.
At noon, the master took a shower, changed his clothes, and we went out together to the city. At that time, all the restaurants were government-owned and there were not many of them. It was a luxurious hotel that I had never been in. At the first glance, I felt that they would ask me for money.
The chef ordered six dishes, all meat dishes. It was not so rich even during the Chinese New Year at home. He also ordered two bottles of white wine. I thought the chef could really drink, but who would have thought that he gave me one bottle.
"I can't drink."
"You have to drink even if you don't know how to drink. A man should be domineering."
Encouraged by the master, I became braver and took a sip, but choked immediately. I felt that it was the most unpalatable thing in the world.
That day, I didn't pay the bill, and when I was asked to pay, I couldn't afford it, even though it was only 70 or 80 cents. My master carried me back home.
When I woke up it was already the next night.
"I'm not at work?"
I looked at my father who was sitting next to me.
"Well, your master said that he would let you rest for two days and come back to work after you feel better. He said that you have passed the first level."
My father was very happy. I don’t know what the master said to him. I drank a bottle of white wine that day.
